By the way, I think I've refined what bothers me about "helping but not being helped." I'm not concerned with people returning favors, rather I feel as if I'm alone in the journey to help others. Obviously I'm not the only selfless (or at least trying-to-be-selfless) person in the world, but it seems as if I would be selfless for others, yet others would only be selfish to me whether I've helped them or not.
I know exactly how you are feeling. I don't care if others return favours to me (Though a simple "Thank you." would be nice since it recharges my batteries and encourages me to keep on giving.), I just sometimes feel like a lone ranger trying to be giving while most people don't seem to see the need for putting others before themselves and it is just exhausting. I really don't want to go around preaching at people that "You must give!", I am not their moral guardian, but I believe things would go a lot smoother in the world if people weren't so bloody selfish or self-obsessed. To me it's clear as day and it frustrates me that others can't see it and instead come up with a lot of evolutionary blah blah about why being selfish is actually the right thing to do.
But by wanting others to be as selfless as you strive to be aren't you implying that your way of thinking is correct and that of others is wrong?
It's funny how you approach the concept of selflessness from a logical and rational point of view while for an INFJ it is all about inner convictions and what FEELS right. To me personally having a debate about it seems a bit pointless; it's all about seeing a person in need, realising that you can help this person and doing so (while not trying to completely exhaust my resources and energy). Giving just feels like the right thing to do, I actually enjoy making other people feel happy, and even if all logical arguments would point towards "Selfishness is best!" I don't think I could do it for a long time, I would just start feeling unhappy at some point. I guess it would actually cause an NFJ in the long run more pain not to consider other people and their feelings, it just goes against who we are and how we relate to the world.
Also I really don't get this argument why selfishness is better in the long run. Did selflessness cause the worst recession since the 1930s? I don't think so. Does selflessness lead to pollution and global warming? Nope.
I understand that one shouldn't be naive but as NFJs we can see the bigger picture and how our moral actions influence the world on a big scale so it just seems stupid to us to behave completely selfish because in the long run it will destroy relationships and communities.
Additionally I have come to understand that you seem to be selfless towards the greater goal of inspiring selflessness in others. So in practice, you are behaving selflessly in order to passively coerce someone into behaving the way you behave. Sounds kinda selfish to me!
Oh come on! So it was selfish of Martin Luther King to inspire others to fight for justice and coerce them into fighting for the rights of the disadvantaged?
You are completely missing the point. Inspiring selflessness in others is not about me having this evil world domination masterplan where I want everyone to behave like me and believe what I believe, instead it's about seeing the bigger picture, seeing that some things are pretty messed up in this world and trying to start a trend that will benefit everyone.
I can only speak for myself, but I am honestly NOT power hungry and I don't care about attention, money or fame, it is sincerely about making a difference and feeling like I have actually accomplished something good and worthy with my life. I am perfectly happy just watching from the sidelines how all my efforts slowly unfold and bear positive fruit.