I should also mention: I have nothing against online blogs. Many of my friends have them and they are interesting. I also used to keep one when I was unhealthy, and I would do the same thing now if I had time, but I'm enjoying studying enneagram/ typoC in my spare time instead.
The difference, though, is that when I kept a blog back when I was unhealthy, I put up my "best work" meaning, song lyrics I worked on or poetry or thoughts that were refined from my diary and presented better. I also put up funny anecdotes dedicated to friends. For instance, "Romeo, Romeo, wherefore art thou gay? Deny thy butthole and refuse thy cock, or if thou shalt not, I'll no longer be a woman. Tis but thy boyfriend's butt that is my enemy..... etc." -- addressed to my gorgeous gay friend. But that fits in with the sort of "tough demeanor" that is attributed to 8s. On the one hand I wished I could still care "like I used to," but on the other, I never thought I was tough *enough* - I was conscious of any weakness or vulnerability and I used to believe that love or feelings or even the amount of desire I had, was a weakness; and I had to be strong. Those are the sorts of thoughts I reserved for my diary - the lust & innocence stuff - whereas the online blog was more of a place to make people laugh, compete with friends back and forth for writing stuff, and present my best work. I know that some people like to talk about their honest emotions on a blog and you know, I have always admired those people in a way. I'm becoming more like that - PerC was the first time I ever did it in public online. It took a lot for me to open up to the world about my vulnerability. I think for other enneagram types, they might do this more easily, like 4s for instance - as I mentioned, they want people to feel bad for them or share their pain. A 5 might want a place to vent their thoughts, or an SX 5 might secretly wish for connection with someone else through those thoughts. A 2 might just be very emotive and like to connect to others that way. I had problems that in my eyes were much more destructive and dangerous than that, so I'm not putting anyone down for keeping a blog. I just think it's important to know WHY you keep a blog? And why you choose to share the content that you do? It's just something worth thinking about when assessing what your true motives are in the context of enneagram.
Back then you'd have to put a gun to my head to get me to express deep vulnerable feelings in public, let alone admit even to *myself* that I was lonely. My attitude, even in my own diary, was like "I don't need anyone" - and when I started lusting or wanting some guy (in my diary) I would scold myself for my weakness or put him down in some way so I could convince myself it's just physical. I'd express that I'd conquer him and he would be just like all the other needy complaining drooling fools on his knees before me once I was done with him. If I cared about him, I referred to him as fake, an idealized version of a person in whom I saw my own lost innocence. I simply could not accept that I'd have feelings for a real person, be lonely, be needy.
When I read it now, it makes me feel disgust for myself back then, but it also makes me feel bad for anybody who was friends with me or had feelings for me. I feel bad for my best friend back then, and I feel like an idiot because we refer to each other as "nemeses" and I have so much anger towards him for shit that happened between us, but when I read my own diary in retrospect, I realize what he must have been dealing with , and how much he must have cared about me, considering how honest he was with me, in telling me "You're a conquerer" and telling me the ugly truths about myself that I didn't want to hear, and how he saw me for who I was, but he still loved me, and was there for me, and somehow put up with me. I have tears in my eyes as I am writing this because these are things I never thought before - I always blamed him for everything. Reading that shit is a slap in the face. I knew I had a heart all along, but I did my best to crush it, and to crush anyone who made me conscious of it so I could keep all my power. At the same time, my public blog back then was funny and/or clever and/or very well-presented if it was emotional at all. If I present a beautiful song with good chords & great lyrics, it's okay to show emotion because the rest of it is like armor. I told myself: I'm showing off my skills and talent, so it's okay if I express genuine emotion in that context, but there is no other context besides music, art, and brilliant fictional, poetic or cryptic writing in which showing vulnerable emotion is acceptable. I actually wrote things in my diary along these lines (this is a paraphrase): "I'm glad I'm feeling some emotions this week - it gave me something to write songs about. Now I have no more emotions and I need to feed so I have a muse for my work. A good piano sound will not make up for emotional mediocrity."