It's late and I'm really tired so I don't know how much this post is going to make sense, but I enjoyed reading the thread so much that I had to comment.
I don't feel attached to people at all (with one exception, see below). And I have definitely had experience with people mistakenly thinking I didn't care because I didn't show this attachment.
My mother is one of the worst about this. I live in a different country and if I don't contact her within the time frame she feels is appropriate, she will start to think that I don't like her or don't want to talk to her. I agree with one of the previous posters who said (I'm too lazy to find the quote) that he doesn't want to talk to them about all the mundane details of his life. Exactly! If she wants to talk to me, why doesn't she email or call me? In her mind,
I have to initiate it or it doesn't count. She has a lot of insecurity issues... I won't go into it all here, but she is very attached to her family members and she
requires evidence of their attachment to feel secure (and of course even then she doesn't truly feel secure).
There have been various other relationships where people have seemed to expect me to form an attachment. I find it very weird and off-puting. I love my mom, and my other family members, but I don't like these expectations that get laced into a relationship. I want to say, 'hold on, I didn't agree to that!' It's like when they become attached to you, you suddenly become responsible for how they feel. I do not want that responsibility. I have caught myself unconsciously distancing myself from people when they started to develop those expectations, it just makes me want to run.
Hmm maybe that's one of the reasons why I find NTs so attractive.
Anyway, my one exception is my INTP husband. It's a bit different with him... not the negative sort of attachment being talked about, but substitute mentioned how he doesn't place his heart in people's hands. I don't either.
But, I (eventually) have with my husband. It took me years (probably due to emotional abuse as a kid), but I finally was able to open my heart and place it in his hands. It's not so much like the attachment that's been talked about, it feels like we're soulmates, best friends, I honestly can't imagine life without him. (corniness alert) We've been married over 10 years but I still feel so completely in love it's incredible.
So yes, I am attached to him, but not in the sense of having to show attachment.. I don't know how to describe it... I guess you could say It feels like harmony.
Hmm I don't think I articulated what I was trying to say very well... tooooo tired
Oh yes, one other thing I was thinking about. Does anyone else have this thing where you focus on the people or person you're around, anyone you're not with sort of fades into the background?
It's not that I stop liking or loving them, it's just that I always get caught up with who I'm with or what I'm doing. I even inadvertently do it to my husband when we visit my family (we stay in my parents house). He says if feels like he looses me for a whole month and it's not til we get on the plane that I come back to him.
I've had someone accuse me of 'putting people on pedestals and knocking them off when I get bored', which was not what I was doing, but I can see how enthusiasm and paying lots of attention to them, then getting distracted by someone/something else could feel that way...
Guess I thought that last post could possibly relate to lack of attachment...