Another "What's my type?"

[chris09]

Hey all,

I've previously be 'professionally' typed as an INFP as part of a careers assessment but I'm really not sure.

I'm pretty sure of my N & P part but the I/E and T/F divide is a bit ambiguous, at least from my perspective.

I can be ridiculously silly and extroverted when I want to, sometimes too excess (lol) and I find I tend to "explode" a bit and then peter out. That said, I generally feel when I socialize that I have to "step into" a different mindset. In my head, there is this sometimes even an image of stepping across a line into social-mode. I'm not sure if this is actually to do with E/I or maybe just stepping passed any shyness.

I don't think any of the people I know would probably classify me as an "introvert" though, but I admittedly do feel more centered I think when I'm by myself. Although, sometimes after being quite extroverted and then being on my own, I find being by myself quite riddled with feelings of insecurity, isolation etc but after I've been on my own for a while (assuming I'm not bored and restless) then I start feeling more clear-headed. Or maybe focused is a better word.

In terms of friends, I am very selective about who I call a "friend". For me, I don't think I can be friends with someone without having known them reasonably well for at least a month. I have a friend who I've known for about 6 months now and I still sometimes hesitate to call him a friend. He is introverted, not that that is probably relevant.

Umm, personal experience, I have once spent a month of holidays where the majority of my life revolved around reading a 12 book series, eating, sleeping, and some other equally as solitudal stuff, and that didn't bother me in the slightest.

Also, I tend to be very quiet at home. I'm nineteen, and still at home, but I have had plenty of arguments with my dad because I "Don't communicate", which is partially true, but I don't communicate because I always feel like he thinks I should etc, which only puts me off speaking more. And the more he tries to get me to talk, the less I actually do. I don't know why, I know I'm doing it, but I can't seem to help it.

umm more info... I don't like most of the social activities of people my age, including pubs, clubs etc

The more I type, the more I seem to be supporting the Introverted side of the divide, but I'm still not sure. Mostly, that is because I find the more I socialize, the harder it is to settle into being alone. I seem to go through a bit of a period where I can feel horribly alone and insecure and perhaps even a bit depressed. But it does go away and I feel comfortable in my own skin again lol

okay, that is way more info than I planned on posting - Maybe you should ask some questions for me to answer, which would give more relevant answers?

----

Okay, and the T / F divide? I really just don't know where to begin with that. Any questions for me? Or perhaps there are some behavioral traits that are indicators of these that I might exhibit.

Another part of the problem I have with this comes straight from the I/E thing I was just rambling on about I'm more *T* when I'm on my own I think, and I'm more *F* when I'm with other people.

But like I said, that I'm not really too sure, I could be completely wrong about all of it!




Any tips? Thanks
Chris

 

[BlackCat]

You're an INFP. What is your definition of an introvert? You don't seem to know what an introvert is.

An introvert is someone who gains energy from being alone, or just with their thoughts. They withdraw to gain their energy. They release this energy by interacting with the world, and this doesn't mean just socializing, but socializing is a great way of releasing energy. You probably feel more "clear headed" because you've been alone and re energizing.

An extrovert is someone who gains more and more energy from interacting with the world. They like to interact a lot, and then they release this energy from chilling out and being alone.

An introvert isn't "shy" or "antisocial", those two traits have nothing to do with introversion and extroversion.

 

[chris09]

Hey BlackCat,

Yeah, that was my understanding of introversion as well. I guess a lot of my confusion comes from the fact that I'm just incredibly good at socializing... lol I've gotten so used to being sociable and I haven't really retreated to my own solitude much this year, it's been pretty steady in terms of interacting with other people.
And I wonder if I had perhaps just been a "shy extrovert".

But I'll take your word for it. I've been feeling a bit drained for a while so I'll see if I can find some quiet time to recharge, and if it helps.

----

And on to the "Feeling vs. Thinking" part. Is there a reason by your preference to Feeling?

Just out of curiosities sake

 

[Moiety]

You're an INFP. What is your definition of an introvert? You don't seem to know what an introvert is.

An introvert is someone who gains energy from being alone, or just with their thoughts. They withdraw to gain their energy. They release this energy by interacting with the world, and this doesn't mean just socializing, but socializing is a great way of releasing energy. You probably feel more "clear headed" because you've been alone and re energizing.

An extrovert is someone who gains more and more energy from interacting with the world. They like to interact a lot, and then they release this energy from chilling out and being alone.

An introvert isn't "shy" or "antisocial", those two traits have nothing to do with introversion and extroversion.

If introversion and extroversion have nothing to do with social interaction approach, why should we say introverts gain energy from being alone, in itself?

Extroverts gain it from interaction. But doesn't reading a book or playing a videogame count as such?

And are introverts able to gain energy from just standing there looking at a wall, completely "alone"?

 

[BlackCat]

If introversion and extroversion have nothing to do with social interaction approach, why should we say introverts gain energy from being alone, in itself?

I don't see the connection you're making here, like at all.

Extroverts gain it from interaction. But doesn't reading a book or playing a videogame count as such?

And are introverts able to gain energy from just standing there looking at a wall, completely "alone"?

You ask these questions as if you already know the answers. Like I said, it has to do more with being with your thoughts as an introvert. At the moment I don't care for an argument about how I word things when you seem to clearly know what I'm getting at.

And on to the "Feeling vs. Thinking" part. Is there a reason by your preference to Feeling?

Just out of curiosities sake

It's more of a feeling than anything.

 

[Moiety]

I don't see the connection you're making here, like at all.

It's not about being alone per se? As in un-surrounded by people. I doubt an introvert locked in an empty room could enjoy it for the whole of...say...2 hours. But an E socializing during that same period and enjoying it...that I can see. Maybe it's because I'm an E that my perception is faulty.

You ask these questions as if you already know the answers. Like I said, it has to do more with being with your thoughts as an introvert. At the moment I don't care for an argument about how I word things when you seem to clearly know what I'm getting at.

Do I? I'm challenging the notion it has nothing to do with social interaction and also the notion it's all about that, perhaps?

No, I do not have a well defined idea on this. This is a system created by someone other than me. It's really not about what I think so much as what the guy who designed it thinks.

I will say I've spent more time alone during times of my life, than most Is perhaps. And they were not necessarily unhappy. And I'm an E.

Still! I do think Es might inherently be more apt to be social, so that's why I asked for clarification. But if you are no up for an "argument", it's alright.

 

[NewEra]

My guess is ENFP.

 

[BlackCat]

It's not about being alone per se? As in un-surrounded by people. I doubt an introvert locked in an empty room could enjoy it for the whole of...say...2 hours. But an E socializing during that same period and enjoying it...that I can see. Maybe it's because I'm an E that my perception is faulty.

Yeah now that I think about it it's quiet time and time to think that helps me. What I mean by quiet is noise not coming from something annoying, etc (I have music on when I'm "recharging").

Do I? I'm challenging the notion it has nothing to do with social interaction and also the notion it's all about that, perhaps?

No, I do not have a well defined idea on this. This is a system created by someone other than me. It's really not about what I think so much as what the guy who designed it thinks.

I will say I've spent more time alone during times of my life, than most Is perhaps. And they were not necessarily unhappy. And I'm an E.

Still! I do think Es might inherently be more apt to be social, so that's why I asked for clarification. But if you are no up for an "argument", it's alright.

Well yeah E's are probably more apt to be social, but I wouldn't make that a standard. I'm an introvert and I love socializing, but it drains me. I enjoy people.

Now that I think about it you're right, E/I does to an extent have to do with socializing, but again don't make it a standard. It just seems like E's have a lot more going on socially that I've known.

I don't really have a well defined idea either, but it's there.

And I'd say that since you lead with Ne then you probably are fine with being alone along with (possibly, this is speculation) being alone a lot from a young age, making it a conditioned thing for you. I say this because Ne is an internal process yet it's inspired by the outward world, so EN_Ps are probably going to be the most "introverted" extroverts.

 

[chris09]

lol and Now I have one person thinking Introverted, and the other thinking Extroverted.

Glad I'm not the only one who is confused! hehe

 

[chris09]

p.s. Would knowing my Enneagram help?

 

[chris09]

Okay, so another thing worth mentioning:

I think I have trouble with long conversations. I'm great when it comes to short stuff, where I can be bright, bubbly etc and then get away. I'm also good in a situation with a reasonable number of people (3-8) because essentially it is a whole lot of little conversations, and I just add my own comments when I feel they are relevant, which is easy enough, and there are enough tangents in a group situation that I don't have to follow a conversation into any depth really. I think that because I find groups easy to be in (because I don't have to think up the conversation) I was mistaking that as being Extroversion???

But in a situation where I'm talking one on one with another person for any length of time, I find it hard to really connect, because I normally run out of stuff to say after about 15 minutes, and end up repeating generic responses. After a few hours of trying to think of stuff to talk about I can get really very mentally fatigued. This doesn't happen so much with a group though because there are lots of different tangents and everyone else is often coming up with new lines of thought taking the effort off me.

This can be the case even with my best friend. I don't remember how/why we became friends, I just remember we clicked at the time. But we both seem to run out of things to talk about after a while and I dislike the silences that seems to hang there sometimes. I feel like I should have something to say, and I don't.

Outwardly, we also tend to be rather reserved in our expression, not from any lack of friendship/trust etc, but things tend to be spoken about without a great deal of emotion or passion. Does that make sense? Or at least, nothing in our lives at the moment seems to really excites either of us overly.
It's not that we don't talk or share etc. Ultimately we do lots of that, but neither of us tends to place a particular judgment or personal bias etc on things, and I think that makes it hard for us to connect because things always seem neutral.

The most fun we have seems to be when we tease each other about something. Silly stuff normally. Like
Friends: "I remember I saw this car once..."
I interject: "Really, you saw a CAR?! Wowza..."
Friend: Glares angrily at me, or playfully calls me some sort of profanity.

Is that giving you any particular indications about my type?