substitute
New member
- Joined
- May 27, 2007
- Messages
- 4,601
- MBTI Type
- ENTP
Love, care, fondness - for anything or anyone. I'm sure we all feel it in a dozen shades and ways.
To suggest that someone doesn't love their own child, for example, or their spouse or mother, would be a very harsh and extreme thing to say.
But attachment?
Do you feel attached to the things and people you love? Is it the same thing?
It's assumed to be, for sure, by a lot of people. It's even looked for and pointed to as evidence of love and care, or lack of it. I believe this could be at the root of why T's can be seen as "cold".
I love France, I truly do. But I can survive, being away from it. When my mind wanders to thoughts of France, I smile and feel love and fondness for my country. But I don't feel devastated or anything that I'm not there. I don't cry. I don't move mountains to get to be there all the time. And in fact, I rarely do think about it.
I love my children, I truly do. But if they go to stay with grandma for however long, I don't really miss them. Occasionally I think of them and I smile and feel love for them. But I don't mope or pine for them, and I don't feel the need to call them up on the phone. When they come back, I'm pleased to see them, but I didn't feel like I couldn't live or anything when they weren't here, and in fact I rarely thought about them at all.
I'm quite attached to my car. I've been to some awesome places in it, made lots of repairs to it myself and know it like the back of my hand. I've never thought about replacing it, and if I had to, I'd be sorry to see it go and often wish I could have it back again; it's like an old friend to me. But to say that I love my car, as one loves a daughter or one's country, would be absurd.
I'd die for my children, and I think I would probably die for France, as long as I knew my children would be well cared for. But I wouldn't die for my car. I wouldn't even risk mildly injuring myself to stop it being set on fire.
For me, it seems that love and attachment are not the same thing; they're not connected.
Anyone else feel the same way? Have any other examples or insights into why this might be? Think my examples suck and care to explain why? Have friends or relatives who you suspect might feel this way, and you find it strange or incomprehensible? Or feel the complete opposite way, and care to explain how that works?
I'm just interested in exploring this idea in any way, really.
To suggest that someone doesn't love their own child, for example, or their spouse or mother, would be a very harsh and extreme thing to say.
But attachment?
Do you feel attached to the things and people you love? Is it the same thing?
It's assumed to be, for sure, by a lot of people. It's even looked for and pointed to as evidence of love and care, or lack of it. I believe this could be at the root of why T's can be seen as "cold".
I love France, I truly do. But I can survive, being away from it. When my mind wanders to thoughts of France, I smile and feel love and fondness for my country. But I don't feel devastated or anything that I'm not there. I don't cry. I don't move mountains to get to be there all the time. And in fact, I rarely do think about it.
I love my children, I truly do. But if they go to stay with grandma for however long, I don't really miss them. Occasionally I think of them and I smile and feel love for them. But I don't mope or pine for them, and I don't feel the need to call them up on the phone. When they come back, I'm pleased to see them, but I didn't feel like I couldn't live or anything when they weren't here, and in fact I rarely thought about them at all.
I'm quite attached to my car. I've been to some awesome places in it, made lots of repairs to it myself and know it like the back of my hand. I've never thought about replacing it, and if I had to, I'd be sorry to see it go and often wish I could have it back again; it's like an old friend to me. But to say that I love my car, as one loves a daughter or one's country, would be absurd.
I'd die for my children, and I think I would probably die for France, as long as I knew my children would be well cared for. But I wouldn't die for my car. I wouldn't even risk mildly injuring myself to stop it being set on fire.
For me, it seems that love and attachment are not the same thing; they're not connected.
Anyone else feel the same way? Have any other examples or insights into why this might be? Think my examples suck and care to explain why? Have friends or relatives who you suspect might feel this way, and you find it strange or incomprehensible? Or feel the complete opposite way, and care to explain how that works?
I'm just interested in exploring this idea in any way, really.