Don't let

[tinkerbell]

I wonder if the type differences related to peoples preference of how much they want to work at thier relationship.

I suspect I need to go out with either an NT or NF - because thats the easier plane for me to relate too - I don't have to work too hard to be understood, but am better with an IJ type. If someone is very I or very J it would probably drive me nuts. I'm pretty strong P so a J type would balance my lack of planning, and lets face it I types don't interupt too much .... if they are too I they would probably drive me nuts because they are too quiet.

I recently tried online dating, I met an INTJ - who had promise but he came on messenger and basically just asked question, if I asked him anything he would go all quiet - I ended up wanting to give him a shake and ask him to contribute somthing.... LOL - its never easy..

 

[Kra]

I wonder if the type differences related to peoples preference of how much they want to work at thier relationship.

Well, any type combo can have a successful and healthy relationship, and I think it certainly has a lot to do with what you've mentioned here. Obviously the more differences there are, the more work necessary to reconcile them.

 

[Kasper]

Moved from NT Rationale.

 

[garbage]

OP: do you have any experiences with your dual?


Regardless, I'm inclined to agree in general. At least, it's applied pretty well to me. I just plain can't handle a strong Judging/rationality preference at all, let alone as a quality in a soulmate. Sorry, but I can't imagine being with someone who would make me want to stab myself repeatedly.

 

[BlueScreen]

I think ISTP is a great match for me. And my sis is ISFP dating ENTP, works great.

 

[Lady_X]

OP: do you have any experiences with your dual?


Regardless, I'm inclined to agree in general. At least, it's applied pretty well to me. I just plain can't handle a strong Judging/rationality preference at all, let alone as a quality in a soulmate. Sorry, but I can't imagine being with someone who would make me want to stab myself repeatedly.

no? haha

um...yeah me either.

 

[BlackCat]

OP: do you have any experiences with your dual?

If he hasn't then he needs to. Duality is an amazing relationship. ENTJs are some of the most gratifying people I've talked to and interacted with.

 

[Poki]

This is from Please Understand Me II:

The thing is that I can actually relate alot to NFP types, but ask anyone that knows me and I am ST through and through and very P. We are so different on the surface. Its not an instant click with ENFPs. Its more of a gradual opening up and requires one-on-one interaction so both of you feel comfortable enough to open up. Its more of a psychological closeness which means you gradually let your guard down and your inner person comes out. Its a breaking down the stereotype that you have built up. The difference between conflict and dual is J vs P. Our conflictor seems to be attracted to us. They can do what we wish we could. But after some time we realize that what we wish we could do that the other person is good at finally rears the negative of that trait and it turns on us. It destroys us because we cant deal with that part because its our weakness. Duals have similiar weaknesses as you which allows that psychological closeness. After some time you realize they make it through life using a completely different set of traits than you. They can achieve the same things as there J counter part but in different ways and you dont have to suffer the emotional swing that comes with the other persons strength lining up with your weakness. You still get frustrated, but the argument or discussions dont escalate near as much because it is a much better match in how we argue and fight.

 

[violet_crown]

I don't think ISFJ males like me at all. And I believe the feeling is mutual. Even if I was a P, I don't see sfps and myself getting along either. Look at Jeffster and I, who were civil in vent but mutually and respectfully muted.

First off, isnt he isfp? I think he's neat in any case. He's such a Texas good ol'boy that it makes me homesick just readin his posts haha. He did turn me down for that whale heist that one time tho....

 

[stellar renegade]

She diverged into talk about SFPs.

 

[violet_crown]

She diverged into talk about SFPs.

Who? Me?

 

[stellar renegade]

No, Thatgirl. That's why she started talking about Jeffster.

 

[garbage]

no? haha

um...yeah me either.

Hey now.. the implication is that strong J-types make me want to stab myself, and I don't like being around people who make me want to stab myself. It wasn't completely self-evident

Who knows? Maybe there are some people who like being around people who make them want to stab themselves. Like masochists.

If he hasn't then he needs to. Duality is an amazing relationship. ENTJs are some of the most gratifying people I've talked to and interacted with.

wholeheartedly agree

Except, you know, replacing "ENTJ" with "ISFP"

and then replacing the plural "ISFPs" with "ISFP" because my SO is really the only one I've typed for sure

I don't really get the chance to interact with a lot of introverted artsy types in the circles that I normally hang with

 

[Domino]

As much as I truly love my ISTJ friends, a romantic match would be a catastrophe. I had several ISTJ pals. We liked each other because we weren't dating. I can grasp and appreciate them when we're friends, but romantically, I haven't the first clue or instinct about them whatsoever. That blind spot tells me all I need to know.

If I don't get you immediately, on instinct, it's no good for romantic love.

Socionics = total garbage, imo. Just about every Socionics pairing I've ever seen IRL has ended disastrously. That whole branch of theory to me is impracticable.

 

[BlueScreen]

The thing is that I can actually relate alot to NFP types, but ask anyone that knows me and I am ST through and through and very P. We are so different on the surface. Its not an instant click with ENFPs. Its more of a gradual opening up and requires one-on-one interaction so both of you feel comfortable enough to open up. Its more of a psychological closeness which means you gradually let your guard down and your inner person comes out. Its a breaking down the stereotype that you have built up. The difference between conflict and dual is J vs P. Our conflictor seems to be attracted to us. They can do what we wish we could. But after some time we realize that what we wish we could do that the other person is good at finally rears the negative of that trait and it turns on us. It destroys us because we cant deal with that part because its our weakness. Duals have similiar weaknesses as you which allows that psychological closeness. After some time you realize they make it through life using a completely different set of traits than you. They can achieve the same things as there J counter part but in different ways and you dont have to suffer the emotional swing that comes with the other persons strength lining up with your weakness. You still get frustrated, but the argument or discussions dont escalate near as much because it is a much better match in how we argue and fight.

Agree. My other sister is ISTP, and we seem to have the same adventurer quality, openness to crazy things, drive to go somewhere but not really for show. The thing is for a while I always thought she was most judgmental because she'd correct me on things, but she's taught me more than anyone, and when it comes down to it, she is the most likely to accept I've done anything without judging. She is open minded to reality without really setting limits, which is a very good trait when relating to an ENFP, as is her ability to do almost anything well and understand it. We also seem to have the same interests more than anyone else in my family.

 

[jixmixfix]

there seems to be mixed reactions about duals here....and honestly whats the deal with not getting along with an "S" type? makes no sense.... get your head out of your assess! "S's" arent intellectually incompetent they just look at things differently.I personally think a dual could also be someone who is "N" as well...I'm not surprised when I hear ENFPS really liking INTPS. Or ESTPs with ISFPs.

 

[heart]

When I dated ESTP it was great at first, lots of excitement. Then I ended up feeling empty around him and he ended up HORRIFIED at my true inner self when I showed it. His pragmatism shuddered violently with revulsion and then he began the "Here, let me help you get over your flaws and then I could truly be happy with you" thing.

He also liked to play too many games. Adored me when I was cold to him and turned off when I was warm to him. It became too tiresome. Like being stuck on a revolving door or something.

And ENTP? Respectfully, no thank you!

 

[SerengetiBetty]

there seems to be mixed reactions about duals here....and honestly whats the deal with not getting along with an "S" type? makes no sense.... get your head out of your assess! "S's" arent intellectually incompetent they just look at things differently.I personally think a dual could also be someone who is "N" as well...I'm not surprised when I hear ENFPS really liking INTPS. Or ESTPs with ISFPs.

i have many friends who are s types: ISFJs, ISTPs and ISFPs. I get along with them fine on a friendship level, but as far as romance goes I could never see it happening.

I just recently went on a date with an ISFP and although I wouldn't say that he was intellectually incompetent, he's definitely intellectually different than me.

 

[jenocyde]

My best friend growing up was an ISFP. We desperately clung to each other for years, while openly despising and admiring each other. We couldn't see eye to eye on anything and she was just so damn fragile, while she thought I was such a bully. Of course, neither was true when I look back on it. In her quest to keep up with me, she ended up in the hospital too many times to count and her parents forbid her to be around me.

In my quest to keep up with her, I took on her melancholy persona as my own and drank so much that my parents forbid me from seeing her, as well. It wasn't until we were in our late 20s that we decided to call it quits. Enough was enough. We just brought out the negative in each other, without ever actually being negative. We had never once argued in all the years that we interacted with each other - just supported and encouraged each other in our respective destruction.

 

[ChocolateMoose123]

I don't think I have any real life experience with ESFJ's. I honestly don't know how to recognize them.
My closest friends consist of NF's SP's and NT's. I just realized that I have no "close" SJ friends. However, I have predominately dated STJ's and that works really well for me in a long term sense. I guess I've dated all the SJ's I've met!!