[ENFJ] ENFJ & INFP

[runvardh]

Apparently the ladies are easier to find and are quite visible if you look for them.

 

[Jonathanthegreat]

Find enfj males in gyms, churches, schools, and in outdoor activities. Spot them smiling, and usually talking although I've read that ENFJ's are the least extraverted of all E types. I agree. Whoa I just went off on a tangent.

Oh yea enfj males, yea we are rare actually I only know two other enfj males and I have like 700+ people I know.

 

[OrangeAppled]

So are INFP's basically saying this? : If I like you, come talk to me, but I'll never approach you or show signs of interest. So consult a psychic. lol

What do you infp females do to show interest (romantic) in a person???

haha...hey, who knows, the psychic may actually be an INFP

If I like someone romantically, it actually frightens me and I somewhat avoid him because I feel too awkward to deal with the reality of interaction. It's my own fault for not sending clear signals, but it's a hard hurdle to get past, as fear of vulnerability is always hanging overhead.

I might actually suggest that if you ever see an INFP sneaking a glance your way, but not making a beeline for you, then they may actually be attracted to you. If an INFP is very warm & talkative right away, then she may actually see you as just a friend. Attraction would make her more reserved & awkward; at least it does for me... In order to maintain composure, I can even take on a cool tone with someone, because I am afraid of giving away too much (like that ever happens).

So bottom line, you have to take the gamble and make the first move. The INFP will let you know if she is interested. Being direct, but not pushy works. Subtle hints fly over my head. If you straight out ask for a number or to go out sometime, then she has to give you a definite response. Otherwise, you may come away having no idea what she thinks of you, or mistakingly thinking she does not like you at all.

(is this thread officially hi-jacked? )

 

[Jonathanthegreat]

haha...hey, who knows, the psychic may actually be an INFP

If I like someone romantically, it actually frightens me and I somewhat avoid him because I feel too awkward to deal with the reality of interaction. It's my own fault for not sending clear signals, but it's a hard hurdle to get past, as fear of vulnerability is always hanging overhead.

I might actually suggest that if you ever see an INFP sneaking a glance your way, but not making a beeline for you, then they may actually be attracted to you. If an INFP is very warm & talkative right away, then she may actually see you as just a friend. Attraction would make her more reserved & awkward; at least it does for me... In order to maintain composure, I can even take on a cool tone with someone, because I am afraid of giving away too much (like that ever happens).

So bottom line, you have to take the gamble and make the first move. The INFP will let you know if she is interested. Being direct, but not pushy works. Subtle hints fly over my head. If you straight out ask for a number or to go out sometime, then she has to give you a definite response. Otherwise, you may come away having no idea what she thinks of you, or mistakingly thinking she does not like you at all.

(is this thread officially hi-jacked? )

Totally hi-jacked. But at least its somewhat true to it's nature enfjs & infps are conversing!

I asked her out and for her number, she agreed to both. She's rather interesting to me so I decided since I have really good deep meaningful conversations with my INFP male friend, I decided to try it with an INFP female. I will update our online community asap. Coffee and conversation is what we are doing.

 

[OrangeAppled]

I asked her out and for her number, she agreed to both.

Well, that's a good sign.

 

[The Third Rider]

HEY! Where is the love for us male INFP's????? And to think that I thought someone was actually interested in what I had to say...

Sorry mate, but I am sure that we can get a lovely female ENFJ to inquire about your many qualities.

 

[Scott N Denver]

Do people think that an ENFJ-INFP would be among the most likely pairing to unintentionally hurt or offend each other??? Fe and Fi both can feel easily insulted. I think INFP's would be more likely to be mopy, as in "I just wanna stand here and mope in my pain until it goes away!" while Fe would, perhaps?, be more likely to say something like "I will take my revenge for this" or "it is socially acceptable to punish you in this way for the offense that you have committed"? At the same time, I think both types are very reconciliatory, and have strong insights into others and personal/social conflict. Also, I don't think that either type is very good at actually staying mad. INFP's can hold grudges though, and maybe ENFJ are more moody or capricious than I realize??? I kinda envision lots of accidental unintended offending of the other, followed by theatrical displays of F, followed by not being able to actually stay mad, followed by getting together and understanding the problem and trying to prevent it from happening again. You know, until some other problem happens and the whole cycle starts all over again. Both types idealize people and relationships. Both types have rather thin skin, are easily hurt, and don't deal well with fighting/arguing/conflict.

Quoting Tieger and Barron-Tieger's Just Your Type , "when [ENFJ's] valuesa are violated or their feelings are dismissed, [ENFJ's] can be very emotional, confrontational, even punishing." "But since they are insightful about the underlying causes of conflicts, deeply motivated to resolve them quickly, and skillful communicators, they can usually help bring about a peaceful resolution". INFP's can be "stubborn and unyielding when they feel they are being criticized or mistreated"

 

[Scott N Denver]

I wonder what the female to male ratio amongst INFP's and ENFJ's is. I'm guessing like 2 or 3 or 4 to 1 in both cases. Anyone know???

 

[Thessaly]

This thread is thriving it appears lol I can see why. I am going a little crazy over the ENFJ now. I'm doing my very best to keep my cool (i.e not be the first to initiate daily contact ).

As for the subtle flirtation: flirty eye glances, nervous body language, lots of smiling, giggling, bit of touching, broad ambiguous invitations for future contact (hangout sometime, add me to facebook, see you around somewhere etc..). Ni should be able to pick it up fairly well.

 

[SpottingTrains]

Good luck!

Hopefully we haven't skyrocketed your expectations for the relationship into unreasonable heights

 

[SurlyAdam]

I've found INFPs and ENFJs do go well together. It's a very balanced relationship, where the primary functions of E/I compliment each other. If you look at the primary functions, the ENFJ is: Fe/Ni/Se/Ti and the INFP is Fi/Ne/Si/Te. I think they see themselves and who they would like to be in each other, and that strengthens them both when they're together.

ENFJs are the only type I've ever known who seem to naturally get me and accept me as I am, even encouraging me to do what others would see as odd or dreamy. And I find ENFJs inspiring and refreshing. The only friend I've remained in contact with since high school is an ENFJ.

 

[Thessaly]

I've found INFPs and ENFJs do go well together. It's a very balanced relationship, where the primary functions of E/I compliment each other. If you look at the primary functions, the ENFJ is: Fe/Ni/Se/Ti and the INFP is Fi/Ne/Si/Te. I think they see themselves and who they would like to be in each other, and that strengthens them both when they're together.

ENFJs are the only type I've ever known who seem to naturally get me and accept me as I am, even encouraging me to do what others would see as odd or dreamy. And I find ENFJs inspiring and refreshing. The only friend I've remained in contact with since high school is an ENFJ.

Yes.

I cannot believe my ears when he encourages my nutty side.

 

[souffle]

I shouldn't have read this thread. Now I'm craving an ENFJ... to come and sweep me off my feet..

 

[The Grand Chameleon]

I'm so unfamiliar with INFP women. What is the best indication of the type? Per ongoing thread, it almost feels wrong not going out in search of one.

 

[chris1207]

I shouldn't have read this thread. Now I'm craving an ENFJ... to come and sweep me off my feet..

This thread is making me want to go out and find an INFP girl....

I think this kind of relationship would be really good for people that are young. Keirsey says that ENFJ-INTP is where it's at but that's definitely a relationship that works only if both are mature. I find that INTP girls have a lot of angst about they are and how they're perceived and simply don't feel attractive. I would think that this would result in both sides duking it out with their main contenders and leaving both with a very negative perception of their own inferior functions. ENFJ-INFP is definitely the ticket for right now.

It's good to hear that you relationship, whatever it may end up being, is working well for you since the OP, OP. I know that I always fear being so overbearing with my Fe and scaring the pretty butterflies away.

 

[The Third Rider]

This thread is making me want to go out and find an INFP girl....

I think this kind of relationship would be really good for people that are young. Keirsey says that ENFJ-INTP is where it's at but that's definitely a relationship that works only if both are mature. I find that INTP girls have a lot of angst about they are and how they're perceived and simply don't feel attractive. I would think that this would result in both sides duking it out with their main contenders and leaving both with a very negative perception of their own inferior functions. ENFJ-INFP is definitely the ticket for right now.

It's good to hear that you relationship, whatever it may end up being, is working well for you since the OP, OP. I know that I always fear being so overbearing with my Fe and scaring the pretty butterflies away.

Its contagious, I am telling you! LOL So INFP seems to be the flavor of the month around here it seems.

 

[Scott N Denver]

Its contagious, I am telling you! LOL So INFP seems to be the flavor of the month around here it seems.

Good luck finding us!

 

[SpottingTrains]

I have to stop reading this thread, I'm going to drive myself crazy.

 

[Scott N Denver]

Oh, I remember reading on some forum, probably this one, perhaps the biggest challenge that the INFP-ENFJ pairing faces is that they are each strongest where the other is weakest. Which is great at first, but wears on you over time, supposedly. INFP's have an EXTREMELY well developed sense of self, and know who they are and generally don't let others push them out of that. BUT, they are not really so good in groups, and generally aren't good at being "social leaders." We tend to like to stay in the back and observe or daydream, or to deal with people one-on-one in depth. ENFJ's do EXTREMELY well as group/social leaders, "see" the needs of others, and can respond appropriately to people and situations. But they don't necessarily know who they are outside of others expectations, and so can blow around in the wind of others and other people needs or desires. Put succinctly, INFP know who they are while generally leaving others alone, while ENFJ's are amazing at being everything to everybody until they realize that they don't necessarily know who they are themselves.

At least, that's my attempt to describe what I remember reading.

Thoughts???

 

[SpottingTrains]

I would say that this is fairly accurate, especially for younger people of each type. I think being in a constant state of flux and continuously testing the values you have taken on as an ENFJ is part of who we are.

I think people also mix up when an ENFJ accepts someones values with actually infusing ourselves with them. We have our own values but we don't always want to project them on other people if we know it will cause trauma.