[INFJ] You know you're an INFJ when...

[Immaculate Cloud]

I had to bring this back. We cannot let our efforts fade away! You know you're an INFJ when you "test" your friends' loyalty. Such as, one simple "test" I do is to not call my friend in a few days to see if he/she will initiate the call. I feel I keep in contact with my friend pretty frequently, but I want to see if they will do the same for me. Anyone else do this?

Sshhh, you were not supposed to let that secret out.

 

[MrRandom]

I had to bring this back. We cannot let our efforts fade away! You know you're an INFJ when you "test" your friends' loyalty. Such as, one simple "test" I do is to not call my friend in a few days to see if he/she will initiate the call. I feel I keep in contact with my friend pretty frequently, but I want to see if they will do the same for me. Anyone else do this?

Guilty as charged! . I do that all the time. Even right now three of my friends are under such a test. One of them is failing quite miserably, having contacted me not once after I "disappeared" two weeks ago.

 

[MrRandom]

Sshhh, you were not supposed to let that secret out.

I was thinking the same. Our quirky ways of showing affection don't really work if people understood our hidden agendas...

 

[Skyward]

I had to bring this back. We cannot let our efforts fade away! You know you're an INFJ when you "test" your friends' loyalty. Such as, one simple "test" I do is to not call my friend in a few days to see if he/she will initiate the call. I feel I keep in contact with my friend pretty frequently, but I want to see if they will do the same for me. Anyone else do this?

Under that sort of test, I wouldn't have any friends

 

[Phantonym]

You know you're an INFJ when you "test" your friends' loyalty. Such as, one simple "test" I do is to not call my friend in a few days to see if he/she will initiate the call. I feel I keep in contact with my friend pretty frequently, but I want to see if they will do the same for me. Anyone else do this?

Yes. I cannot help it. It's a burden I have to live with.

Under that sort of test, I wouldn't have any friends

Quite true. Thanks to this constant testing I don't think I have a single "friend" who meets my requirements of friendship. Nowadays, I'm usually in neutral mode when it comes to people. Sometimes I feel neutral+ and neutral- towards them.

 

[Skyward]

Quite true. Thanks to this constant testing I don't think I have a single "friend" who meets my requirements of friendship. Nowadays, I'm usually in neutral mode when it comes to people. Sometimes I feel neutral+ and neutral- towards them.

I guess I need to psycho-analyze deeper into myself to find my standards for things. I'm really not conscious of them I guess.

Hmm, you know you are an INFJ when you don't have values, you have standards. Values are used to apply worth to people, the higher their value the more attention you give them. Also your mental catch-phrase, conscious or not, sometimes can be: "That's not good enough!"

 

[lost verses]

Quite true. Thanks to this constant testing I don't think I have a single "friend" who meets my requirements of friendship.

LOL. I am very familiar with this happening. I use little tests in relationships such as this all the time.

 

[Phantonym]

LOL. I am very familiar with this happening. I use little tests in relationships such as this all the time.

In relation to this, I was thinking about the notorius "INFJ doorslam".

Do you INFJs, after testing your friends and seeing them fail, take this as a definite sign of closure?

As for myself, I do feel saddened when this happens but I also know that people cannot read my mind. So, I keep on testing them again and again in hopes that maybe this time they will pass the test.

However, after these tests, the friendship just fizzles away. Doorslam!

And yes, I am aware that this is my problem and not theirs

 

[jenocyde]

Guilty as charged! . I do that all the time. Even right now three of my friends are under such a test. One of them is failing quite miserably, having contacted me not once after I "disappeared" two weeks ago.

2 weeks is nothing for me! I rarely call my friends because I am always working on some grand scheme or something and I lose track of time. But I never stop liking my friends, I just get lost in the matrix. But if you call me, I will be overjoyed to hear your voice and expect you to come over asap and help me detonate this new bomb while we gab about life. If not, we can meet for drinks later... but call me to remind me, ok?

(people like me really do mean well, don't slam the door so quickly. )

 

[Phantonym]

people like me really do mean well, don't slam the door so quickly.

Aww. You know we love you people. Really!

 

[Winds of Thor]

Guilty as charged! . I do that all the time. Even right now three of my friends are under such a test. One of them is failing quite miserably, having contacted me not once after I "disappeared" two weeks ago.

Ah HAH! I was wondering if an INFJ was alienating me...And hadn't figured it out...I mean...there was nothing that went wrong..I asked him if I said something or if everything was okay...

I mean, that just doesn't get valued by a genuine INFJ friend...Then I kept emailing him...and emailing...and emailing...I didn't hear from him for like 3 weeks plus...So I found a friend of his...and I don't even know her...

..Wrote a blind-letter to her asking if she had heard from him...She said she hadn't and was getting concerned too..So then I start looking up obituaries in his home town across the pond...I really felt potential of something awful might have happened...

I heard back..Told him to leave me a note if he is going to do that again..

That really pulled on me. 'course informed her he was alive.

 

[Winds of Thor]

I had to bring this back. We cannot let our efforts fade away! You know you're an INFJ when you "test" your friends' loyalty. Such as, one simple "test" I do is to not call my friend in a few days to see if he/she will initiate the call. I feel I keep in contact with my friend pretty frequently, but I want to see if they will do the same for me. Anyone else do this?

I am just going to note that this has potential consequences for pain if the person loves you.

 

[Winds of Thor]

Under that sort of test, I wouldn't have any friends

Thank you...and yea...(in theory) who's doing the alienating on a scenario of that one. I'm just sayin!

 

[Skyward]

Thank you...and yea...(in theory) who's doing the alienating on a scenario of that one. I'm just sayin!

It's not MY fault I outclass everyone I know!

 

[scortia]

Wow, I've been always about 50/50 between Thinking and Feeling but this thread definitely pushed me over to the F side. I've always been unsure since I am a very rational, logical person most of the time. I'm really empathetic in some cases, but I don't get emotional easily.

You know you're an INFJ if you drive your friends crazy talking about personality types. You can tell they stopped paying attention after the first five minutes, but you're just going to keep going because they have to see how AMAZING it is to find out just who and what you are.

Honestly, I'm like this about a lot of things. I teach high school english and I'm always trying to drill into my students' heads how awesome some bit of symbolism or twist on a theme is... how beautifully insightful it is and so on... and actually will go on until I'm blue when a student doesn't appreciate it at all.

 

[Wyst]

I'm blue when a student doesn't appreciate it at all.

Welcome to the world of teaching.

 

[Winds of Thor]

In relation to this, I was thinking about the notorius "INFJ doorslam".

Do you INFJs, after testing your friends and seeing them fail, take this as a definite sign of closure?

As for myself, I do feel saddened when this happens but I also know that people cannot read my mind. So, I keep on testing them again and again in hopes that maybe this time they will pass the test.

You poor thing...this allows you enjoyment or recharge enough..and security in knowing isolation or a sort of insurance from potential hurt...understandable.

INFJs aren't the only ones who have potential for, and or internal hurt.

 

[Winds of Thor]

It's not MY fault I outclass everyone I know!

I see...yes I see. I wouldn't want to hurt or allow hurt to myself. Sure. Best to know the person before letting them in or asking them in.

Then..after or during that, they are still human. So it's best if they know their human capabilities and potientialities for offending or not offending and how much they are capable of..also how much intensity this means for others..and if they take this into consideration and if so, how clearly? How much?

The question is...do they know? Where are their friends on which level they value them? Would they lay down and die for them? This would be nice to know.

 

[scortia]

Welcome to the world of teaching.

Haha, well I've been one for a while. But I teach only Gifted students now and I suddenly raised my hopes to have them dashed again... by some students.

Surprisingly, some of my students actually got something out of Herman Hesse. I probably won't try to teach it again because Hesse is difficult to lecture on (and may get me in trouble with administration), but I was amused to see a couple of students actually getting something out of the concept of the individual's will and intuition trumping all.

 

[Phantonym]

Haha, well I've been one for a while. But I teach only Gifted students now and I suddenly raised my hopes to have them dashed again... by some students.

This makes me think that no matter what we do we're destined to be either disappointed by others or end up disappointing others.

However, this doesn't keep us from trying not to.