It's interesting that you say the worst enemy is the self. It's gotten to the point for me where I don't even have a self around other people. My mind goes blank, and I have nothing to say even if I wanted to say it. I've trained myself for so long to vanish, that I've finally learned to do it.The weird thing is that when I "pretend I'm acceptable" and interact as if I am, a funny thing happens -- I see acceptance in people's eyes.
Maybe not enough to dispel all the misgivings, but enough to let me know a lot of it's in my head. Which sounds crazy.... but really, the worst enemy is self.
I SO agree with this!!The weird thing is that when I "pretend I'm acceptable" and interact as if I am, a funny thing happens -- I see acceptance in people's eyes.
Maybe not enough to dispel all the misgivings, but enough to let me know a lot of it's in my head. Which sounds crazy.... but really, the worst enemy is self.
^
Are you trying to dispel the stereotype that Sensors are observant?
It's interesting that you say the worst enemy is the self. It's gotten to the point for me where I don't even have a self around other people. My mind goes blank, and I have nothing to say even if I wanted to say it. I've trained myself for so long to vanish, that I've finally learned to do it.
I find way more difficulty in "digging out" a trapped NF than an NT. Other NFs know how to cover their trail with me.
thats really interesting. any idea why?
NFs are simply better able to choke down their hurt or hide it behind something or versed in denial because, let's face it, we've been trained from a young age that emotion or display thereof is contemptible. It's considered a sign of weakness.
While I think NTs may fear their emotions more, I believe that NFs are more likely to hate their feelings and find them unacceptable.
So what does it take for someone to get you to open up? What role does fear of rejection play in your relationships (not just romantic ones)? And how is this linked to your self image?
Well, like in the example of my ENTP friend, I can just see their hurt beetling all over them. Once, I was standing in a Wal-Mart - there was a bad storm outside. The building got struck by lightning. The lights browned out to near darkness, the floor bowed up and the ceiling warped inward. In the darkness, I saw blue lightning running down and across the pipes near the top of the walls.
Weird analogy maybe, but to me NTs are like a building being struck by lightning. I see the electricity going everywhere.
NFs are simply better able to choke down their hurt or hide it behind something or versed in denial because, let's face it, we've been trained from a young age that emotion or display thereof is contemptible. It's considered a sign of weakness. While I think NTs may fear their emotions more, I believe that NFs are more likely to hate their feelings and find them unacceptable.
I *have* experienced a truly ridiculous and consistent amount of rejection over the course of my life, so it was more than a fear or possibility. I dealt with it by standing there and taking it right in the face, and then crawling off somewhere and crying until I couldn't cry anymore.
People felt the need to "put [me] in [my] place". I never knew why. I was really very obedient and avoided conflict unless I was dragged into one. Someone would take one look at me, and suddenly want to start a land war. I mean teachers, principals, peers, strangers. I remember once in my hellhole of a school, this one awful guy (he went to prison ultimately, surprise surprise) told me just out of nowhere that X was so much better than me, would always be, and would always have more friends than me. She stood there laughing like he'd just said something adorable. (I hated her too.) They did that to several people. I knew exactly how to take that girl down, and take her down hard, but I never did. Nothing worse than a bully who's playing the martyr.
What's strange is that when I was dealing with someone I *really* cared about, I wouldn't flinch. They could lose it and I'd just stand there. It was like hearing bullets flying past and not moving. Like go ahead and frikkin' fire away, I mean it, I'm not budging. You're gonna run out of ammo and then I'm coming over the wall...
Wouldn't that depend, to a large degree, on the attitudes of those by whom one was raised? I can see some parents valuing and encouraging expressions of emotion where others might tend to quell them.
Got you here - I'm intimidated by my emotions but I don't hate them, aside from the fact that they limit my ability to form coherent sentences.
Perhaps, because NF's deal with emotions regularly, they are more sensitive to their presence. And since emotion is not so commonplace in an NT's world, when it does finally appear, they miss it. They could be expressing emotion on the surface without even realizing it. So how could they conceal emotions they're not aware of?
How come people would treat you this way and take advantage of you?
I know many NTs who are plenty apprised of their emotional state, but are loath to confront it or feel it fully like it's going to eat them.
This is true, actually.I find way more difficulty in "digging out" a trapped NF than an NT. Other NFs know how to cover their trail with me.
The Fe lightning shadow!Weird analogy maybe, but to me NTs are like a building being struck by lightning. I see the electricity going everywhere.
Srsly? That surprises me.While I think NTs may fear their emotions more, I believe that NFs are more likely to hate their feelings and find them unacceptable.
Not if we eat them first!!They do eat us.