[NT] Does Sex = Love for NTs

[Synarch]

Puppy, that was very well said and I agree completely. I would never have been able to find the words to express that even though that's what I meant. Thank goodness for feelers. Remain an ENFP, please!!!

1. My claim was you can't separate the emotions from the physicality.
2. Gross. I don't understand one-off intimacy with people and then splitting.

 

[Salomé]

Jeez! This guy again!!

Synarch, I hear ya, but will you learn to fucking multi-quote! It's done like this:

For me, there are no emotions to detach from.

Sex and love are separate things. There are those who only have sex when in love - it's impossible to tell her way of viewing it. But even those who only have sex while in love, don't usually use sex to express that love. Because sex and love are separate things.

In principle this is true. It doesn't work in practice.

... being ENFP and all, you do tend to blow things out of proportion from my perspective.

LOL.

Yeah don't fuck around with INTP women.
....
Do INTPs really care enough to stalk anyone consistently before they get bored and move on to something more interesting?

Wow! Bitter much?

Fuck that. That brings sex down to something mundane like going to the bathroom. Just because most people treat it that way doesn't mean it is that way or should be that way.
...
It indicates a low nature. A beast without an elevated soul.

This from the guy who said we are all fucking animals in the rape thread....

True, excellent point, and point well taken. However, where then do you draw the line between honoring the difference in your types and still being authentic and true to yourself?

You have to meet in the middle at some point - and we have - she mumbles awkwardly about her "feelings" at different points and I engage in intellectual meanderings with her because I enjoy her "T" side as much as she may be amused by or slightly intrigued by my "F" emotional intelligence on some level... Maybe??

You are pretty demeaning about her. You "engage intellectually", she mumbles incoherently. Do you really care about this person? Are you trying to assuage your own doubts or what?
If I saw that you'd written about me like that, I'd punch your lights out. And it would be sooooo over.

She says she wants to be free to date others and I am welcome to as well.

This is new information. It's not good information...

 

[Synarch]

Jeez! This guy again!!

Synarch, I hear ya, but will you learn to fucking multi-quote! It's done like this:

Screw you, I multi-quote.

This from the guy who said we are all fucking animals in the rape thread....

I'm an enigma, wrapped in a mystery, wrapped in an asshole.

 

[jenocyde]

1. My claim was you can't separate the emotions from the physicality.
2. Gross. I don't understand one-off intimacy with people and then splitting.

1. The forum was about sex = LOVE. I was making the assertion that just because it may not include the feeling of love, it doesn't mean that it will be devoid of feeling.

2. You don't need to understand. If you think it's gross, then you simply shouldn't do it. I'm not going to defend my sexuality, intelligence, emotional level or hair color to anyone.

And it doesn't always have to be a one-off thing. It's like saying I'll hang with you one time vs. making you my best friend - there are many degrees of all types of relationships.

 

[ceecee]

I'm a monster. That's awesome.

Sex is sex. It's a physical activity that can either be - a deeply spiritual and connected display of love and caring and total giving of your mind and body to the other person. Or - a pleasant, fun activity two people do for release and pleasure. Sex never = love. They can combine and that's glorious of course but it never has to be the case. Some people prefer it that way and some don't.

 

[Fluffywolf]

I'll leave the fighting about sex and love to other people, while I do as I please.

 

[Serendipity]

I'll leave the fighting about sex and love to other people, while I do as I please.

:3

Fun to read though.


Maybe she's a polygamist but that feels far-fetched from what you have given in facts.

I'm with the others on "She's there for the fun, not the meaning behind it."

Oh, and something I didn't realize before... (I know you are reading this) ...is that when it comes to emotional response, I feel it here, now, when it's there, immediately but to her it takes a while for the emotion to get to the surface.

Ooh, I can write in different colours! . . . xD

 

[Qre:us]

:3

Fun to read though.


Maybe she's a polygamist but that feels far-fetched from what you have given in facts.

I'm with the others on "She's there for the fun, not the meaning behind it."

Oh, and something I didn't realize before... (I know you are reading this) ...is that when it comes to emotional response, I feel it here, now, when it's there, immediately but to her it takes a while for the emotion to get to the surface.

Ooh, I can write in different colours! . . . xD

Hana, her name?

Next time, try msg in a bottle?

 

[Serendipity]

Next time, try message in a bottle?

 

[Mitzy]

haha sex = love...

youre silly


love = sex, though

 

[marmandahalf]

The interesting thing here, though, is the connection between body and emotion. Obviously individual experiences of that connect vary widely, but is there some objective way in which they interact?

 

[kiddykat]

Assuming that her oxytocin levels are pretty high right now, I think... her level of detachment isn't a representation of how much of a lack of love she feels. In fact, I think it's opposite.

INTP tend to have a very unique ability to keep a really 'calm' mood. I think some people deal with attachment in different ways? Some people appear to be more attached, are in fact, less attached, vice versa. I know an INTP who deals with this issue- she keeps it well kept. She appears aloof, but she battles with feeling too clingy, so she intentionally keeps distance with some people she dates in the beginning.

Give it a bit more time man.. Eventually, when she gets comfortable with you, she may even pay you a random visit in the middle of the night- Hop a fence to get to your door. <--- Not for sex, but to talk about intimate stuff that inhibits her.

That trust, my friend.. takes time and 'space.' I think INTPs like my friend have a good heart- so if you're feeling her? Keep on being you, have faith, and let her be off alone for a while. Eventually, things will work out, depending on how honest 'both' parties are with one another. Honesty is key!

 

[norepinephrine]

The interesting thing here, though, is the connection between body and emotion. Obviously individual experiences of that connect vary widely, but is there some objective way in which they interact?

So, objectively measuring physical reactions against the level of commitment self-reported by a couple?

I see this ending badly. Possibly with cattle prods.

 

[simulatedworld]

I'm a monster. That's awesome.

Sex is sex. It's a physical activity that can either be - a deeply spiritual and connected display of love and caring and total giving of your mind and body to the other person. Or - a pleasant, fun activity two people do for release and pleasure. Sex never = love. They can combine and that's glorious of course but it never has to be the case. Some people prefer it that way and some don't.

Word. Let's all go live in monsterville.

haha sex = love...

youre silly


love = sex, though

So...how do you explain the fact that I've had sex with people I didn't love romantically? And still enjoyed it thoroughly?

 

[norepinephrine]

haha sex = love...

youre silly


love = sex, though

So...how do you explain the fact that I've had sex with people I didn't love romantically? And still enjoyed it thoroughly?

I think you may be reading this backward. I took it to mean that sex is possibly (and enjoyable) without love whereas love inevitably leads to sexual expression of one form or another.

 

[TaylorS]

Maybe it's just my tertiary Fi speaking but IMO sex is dull unless love in involved.

 

[Lasting_Pain]

Assuming that her oxytocin levels are pretty high right now, I think... her level of detachment isn't a representation of how much of a lack of love she feels. In fact, I think it's opposite.

INTP tend to have a very unique ability to keep a really 'calm' mood. I think some people deal with attachment in different ways? Some people appear to be more attached, are in fact, less attached, vice versa. I know an INTP who deals with this issue- she keeps it well kept. She appears aloof, but she battles with feeling too clingy, so she intentionally keeps distance with some people she dates in the beginning.

Give it a bit more time man.. Eventually, when she gets comfortable with you, she may even pay you a random visit in the middle of the night- Hop a fence to get to your door. <--- Not for sex, but to talk about intimate stuff that inhibits her.

That trust, my friend.. takes time and 'space.' I think INTPs like my friend have a good heart- so if you're feeling her? Keep on being you, have faith, and let her be off alone for a while. Eventually, things will work out, depending on how honest 'both' parties are with one another. Honesty is key!

What is this heart you speak of?

Also I can relate to being clingy, but it wares of quickly.

 

[ceecee]

So...how do you explain the fact that I've had sex with people I didn't love romantically? And still enjoyed it thoroughly?

The same way I just pushed Mr. ENFJ down on the laundry room floor, ripped his pants off and had my way with him an hour ago. And I never once said "I love you" the whole time.

 

[Lasting_Pain]

The same way I just pushed Mr. ENFJ down on the laundry room floor, ripped his pants off and had my way with him an hour ago. And I never once said "I love you" the whole time.

 

[Mitzy]

love and sex should go hand in hand
but does it happen?
no, not really.


im a really sexual person but in all honesty, when it comes down to it, id rather just keep away from all that physical intimacy until i feel theres a mutual emotional commitment. i dont like feeling used. it kills my ego and pride and self esteem. i really dont understand 'casual sex' or one night stands