[NT] Does Sex = Love for NTs

[marmandahalf]

sex always equals love for me. it only makes sense as an outpouring of such.

 

[Synarch]

There is a difference between liking someone and really really liking someone. I made that clear to assuage his feelings.

And also, sex feels good. Not everything we do on this earth is for a greater purpose, or makes you a greater person. Sometimes people have sex.

Fuck that. That brings sex down to something mundane like going to the bathroom. Just because most people treat it that way doesn't mean it is that way or should be that way.

 

[Synarch]

sex always equals love for me. it only makes sense as an outpouring of such.

Good sex is always done with an attitude of love. So, it could never be something as simple as "it just feels good". There is a relationship at the time of intercourse, no matter how brief or superficial. You are. Connecting!

 

[jenocyde]

Sure, worry about your physical needs. But, there are consequences. For one thing, even if someone says they're just into something casual they may not be in reality AND they could develop feelings later. As could you. Also there's no such thing as purely physical intimacy. Not in my opinion. If you could be truly intimate with anyone, how is this intimacy? To me this just means you're a slut (male or female). You're open to almost anyone to be intimate with you. This is not true intimacy. Also, it's just not a good idea. Just to be devil's advocate against myself, my beliefs may be informed by my own experiences and philosophy. I am willing to be wrong that it may not be bad for all people. My hunch is it is.

Then by all means, you shouldn't do it. I was merely pointing out that there are some who do. And then there are others, like me, who need a connection - but do not use the physical act to express the emotional feeling. Because sex and intimacy are separate entities, in my eyes. My emotions are expressed in different contexts.

What I meant to tell him is that if she is anything like me, and she took on the "burden" of sexuality with him and all the emotions that come with him, then he should rest assured that she really likes him. A lot.

 

[Lady_X]

preach it brotha synarch!

 

[ring the bell]

Sex doesn't always equal love for me.. but it can with the right guy. For it to be really good and fulfilling, the feelings do have to be there. It can be good enough though and purely to scratch that itch, so to speak. The only way I can ever really get into that zone with with a guy is if I do really do know he is commited to me. I know that guys have a tendency to be more free with only the physical act. So that's always in the back of my mind and it takes a little more to get a bit comfortable enough to have that deeper connection in the moment.

So, what I'm saying is that I'm perfectly capable of keeping it detached and purely physical and I can enjoy it for what it is. But when there is something more there, it can be amazing and incredible.. definitly what I aim for, because I have been hurt by trusting the wrong guy.

 

[jenocyde]

Fuck that. That brings sex down to something mundane like going to the bathroom. Just because most people treat it that way doesn't mean it is that way or should be that way.

Newsflash: sex is mundane. It's the most basic act and every animal does it. It's a bodily function for a purpose. We have elevated it to near god like levels. If that makes you comfortable, then I hope you find comfort in that.

 

[Synarch]

Newsflash: sex is mundane. It's the most basic act and every animal does it. It's a bodily function for a purpose. We have elevated it to near god like levels. If that makes you comfortable, then I hope you find comfort in that.

You're doing it wrong. Dumbass.

 

[seeker22]

Danger, danger.

LOL... I hear you... Was trying to have my "F" respect her "T"... Ha!

 

[Synarch]

LOL... I hear you... Was trying to have my "F" respect her "T"... Ha!

Honestly dude, do you want to mess with someone who can't be real with you or let you be real? That's the whole point of this shit. To be real.

 

[Synarch]

preach it brotha synarch!

Glad some wise person agrees with me. Not surprised to see it's you.

 

[jenocyde]

You're doing it wrong. Dumbass.

You're on Fe overload today... dumbass.

 

[maliafee]

The nope I**P in general have a hard time calling people back after the first time they had sex.

The reason why is because having sex is the ultimate physical relation. It is beyond the touch,kiss,or cuddle. You have actually entered the persons body. You have to reflect on what has been done. Some people do not have to reflect on the matter. I do.

Even *I*, an ISFP, relate to what you're saying here. I guess I qualify as an I**P, huh? *dumb gaze*

After my current bf (ISFJ) and I had sex for the first time, I fell asleep in his arms but I think that wasn't the reaction he wanted. I said I was tired, but he probably sensed that what I really needed was space, and that scared him. I had nowhere to go (was visiting him from far away) so I just went to sleep...

Later, it was all processed and I could talk about things with him like he wanted, such as confirming that I cared for him the way he cared for me, etc.

 

[Lady_X]

LOL... I hear you... Was trying to have my "F" respect her "T"... Ha!

i know what you mean though...you're just trying to be respectful and give her her space...it's what we do! but the whole time we're kinda freaking out...thinking it means the same as it would mean if WE disappeared for a few days.

 

[Synarch]

You're on Fe overload today... dumbass.

[YOUTUBE="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tyb7N0pEjV0"]Change the ET to ENTP[/YOUTUBE]

 

[Lady_X]

Glad some wise person agrees with me. Not surprised to see it's you.

hell yeah...you really can't get more intimate than that. ((((hugsback))))

 

[jenocyde]

[YOUTUBE="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tyb7N0pEjV0"]Change the ET to ENTP[/YOUTUBE]

why do you always make me love you? *sigh*

 

[seeker22]

Honestly dude, do you want to mess with someone who can't be real with you or let you be real? That's the whole point of this shit. To be real.

True, excellent point, and point well taken. However, where then do you draw the line between honoring the difference in your types and still being authentic and true to yourself?

You have to meet in the middle at some point - and we have - she mumbles awkwardly about her "feelings" at different points and I engage in intellectual meanderings with her because I enjoy her "T" side as much as she may be amused by or slightly intrigued by my "F" emotional intelligence on some level... Maybe??

 

[Synarch]

True, excellent point, and point well taken. However, where then do you draw the line between honoring the difference in your types and still being authentic and true to yourself?

You have to meet in the middle at some point - and we have - she mumbles awkwardly about her "feelings" at different points and I engage in intellectual meanderings with her because I enjoy her "T" side as much as she may be amused by or slightly intrigued by my "F" emotional intelligence on some level... Maybe??

Oh, you can honor differences and all that as long as you're being upfront and honest. Just think if you are wondering about something she does, you should talk.

 

[seeker22]

i know what you mean though...you're just trying to be respectful and give her her space...it's what we do! but the whole time we're kinda freaking out...thinking it means the same as it would mean if WE disappeared for a few days.

EXACTLY erinavery... If an ENFP pulled that disappearing thing - it would mean something completely different.