[INTJ] INTJs, how strong sense of self do you have?

[Virtual ghost]

Here is something I am wondering for quite sometime.


When I take a look at people around me it looks to me that they don't have so strong sense of self as I do. This works even for other introverts.

As a person I always place myself outside of the system. Even in the cases when that is not true. It is just that I look at things from detached perspective if I really want to do something about it.

But the thing is that this perspective is the real me. Everything else is more or less just a mechanism to get along.
So you always have 3 components in your life:You, system and problem.

It looks to me that if I ever get into a relationship there will always be a emotional gap beetween us. Which will not be that small.
It has nothing to with trust or love. It is just that I function this way.


Somewhere I came across the article that says that all of this has something to with Ni. Since Ni serves as a connection with subconscious. So a person gets better sense of self because of this.


Also I am curious about how this looks from outside. Since I doubt that it is invisible.

 

[thisGuy]

true character is all thats left after a man has lost everything else.

put yourself in situations where you got no clue what to do...a relationship sounds like a situation for you. thats when youll find out how strong your sense of self really is

people might seem insecure because your not in the game. your sitting on the side giving commentary...the hell do you know what they are going through. making shit up in your head is easiest thing to do

 

[Kalach]

Somewhere I came across the article that says that all of this has something to with Ni. Since Ni serves as a connection with subconscious. So a person gets better sense of self because of this.

It's being Ni Dom that does it, supposedly. Something about it being dominant and automatically trustworthy ahead of other things. Having Fi seems to help too: something about both trusting that you're right and knowing that you're doing right too and not really needing to check with others for that sense of right.

Yay us. Boo ENTPs.

 

[Erudur]

I'm not sure I know exactly what you are saying in the OP, but I have always had a very strong sense of self, and self-confidence.

And like Kalach said. Yay us.

 

[Aleph-One]

There has, for me, always been a very clear demarcation between myself and the rest of the world. It's almost as if I'm detached from it in a way. I don't mean that I'm showing schizoid tendencies or depersonalization, since I don't feel like I'm merely an observer (if I dislike something in the external world, for example, I correct it). But there seems to be a kind of intermediate stage in my sensory experience that my extroverted or sensate friends do not have. So rather than saying I watch the world go by, like watching a movie, I'd say I'm screening the calls I get from reality.

I would suspect that INTJs have the sharpest delimiters between themselves and the external world of all the types, even more than other types who rely strongly on introverted intuition. The thinking/judging combined with the introverted intuition makes the INTJ prone to almost metaphysical solipsism at times (this is an annoying habit which has prevented me from having any other INTJs among my own friends), and I doubt if there's a stronger expression of self-assuredness than demanding that reality conforms to your will.

Also I am curious about how this looks from outside. Since I doubt that it is invisible.

Have you ever heard someone say about INTJs that "there's something in their eyes"? It's usually described as a flippant gleam. My guess is that's how it looks from the outside.

 

[squibbles]

I used to think I had a strong sense of self....I prided myself on being able to detach myself from my emotions and on being independent from other people's perceptions of me.

Actually, none of that was true. I just completely repressed/ignored those emotions and dependencies to the point where I literally didn't even know they existed.

That illusion was eventually shattered, and I realized I was detaching from those things because they were the one thing in my life that was out of my control and illogical, which didn't sit well with me. For me, part of this epiphany included the realization that my life is in God's hands, and I don't have to control every bit of it or figure everything out, and that His perception of me is what is important, not other people's.

So NOW I would say I'm on the way to having a strong sense of self. I suspect that a lot of people who think they have a strong sense of self and cite detachment of evidence of this are fooling themselves, just like I did. In my opinion, detachment* is something we do when we are extremely intimidated by something and know we can't handle it...not exactly what "strong sense of self" means to me. (Not saying this applies specifically to the OP, just my own theory.)


*When I say detachment, I don't mean the healthy ability to not get wholly sucked in by everything going on around you...I mean the paranoid tendency to put up walls so that nothing bad ever has the chance to touch you.

 

[entropie]

Ever seen an INTJ running naked through a stadium wearing a boxer that looked like an elephant ?

Strong sense about themselves directed towards the INTJ themselves, always is the totally most wrong approach

 

[matmos]

Ever seen an INTJ running naked through a stadium wearing a boxer that looked like an elephant ?

Shoot. Those photos...

1986. What a year.

 

[01011010]

It's being Ni Dom that does it, supposedly. Something about it being dominant and automatically trustworthy ahead of other things. Having Fi seems to help too: something about both trusting that you're right and knowing that you're doing right too and not really needing to check with others for that sense of right.

Yes.

People that depend on others' judgment, feelings, and opinions seem to be much weaker in terms of who they are as people, than the latter.

I doubt if there's a stronger expression of self-assuredness than demanding that reality conforms to your will.

Have you ever heard someone say about INTJs that "there's something in their eyes"? It's usually described as a flippant gleam. My guess is that's how it looks from the outside.

Agreed.

I've heard the look has scared, intimidated, or made uneasy those who aren't sure of themselves. It was once described to me as, "seeing right through them." "All their flaws and weaknesses laid bare."

 

[Jgib5328]

I have an incredibly strong sense of self; all of my self-concept is internally generated. I'm part of many groups, but I'm not part of many groups. I'm in them, but I'm detached, I never consider myself a true member. How I usually see it is that most people run in herds, I usually just run along side, but not within a herd for a certain amount of time, and leave whenever I want to.

I also hate being defined by anything other than myself. If anyone were to identify me by a group that I'm 'part' of such as debater or weight lifter, I'd be upset, because I see myself as me and nothing else.

 

[Virtual ghost]

Have you ever heard someone say about INTJs that "there's something in their eyes"? It's usually described as a flippant gleam. My guess is that's how it looks from the outside.

I have heard for this and it cleary is corrct for me.
Many times it happened that they were thinking that I have a desire to hurt or kill them just because of my eyes.
But in general bodylanguage is not too good for determining things that are going to around my head.



Btw: nice name.

 

[Misty_Mountain_Rose]

There has, for me, always been a very clear demarcation between myself and the rest of the world. It's almost as if I'm detached from it in a way. I don't mean that I'm showing schizoid tendencies or depersonalization, since I don't feel like I'm merely an observer (if I dislike something in the external world, for example, I correct it). But there seems to be a kind of intermediate stage in my sensory experience that my extroverted or sensate friends do not have. So rather than saying I watch the world go by, like watching a movie, I'd say I'm screening the calls I get from reality.

I would suspect that INTJs have the sharpest delimiters between themselves and the external world of all the types, even more than other types who rely strongly on introverted intuition. The thinking/judging combined with the introverted intuition makes the INTJ prone to almost metaphysical solipsism at times (this is an annoying habit which has prevented me from having any other INTJs among my own friends), and I doubt if there's a stronger expression of self-assuredness than demanding that reality conforms to your will.

Very well said, especially the bolded parts.

I have an incredibly strong sense of self; all of my self-concept is internally generated. I'm part of many groups, but I'm not part of many groups. I'm in them, but I'm detached, I never consider myself a true member. How I usually see it is that most people run in herds, I usually just run along side, but not within a herd for a certain amount of time, and leave whenever I want to.

I also hate being defined by anything other than myself. If anyone were to identify me by a group that I'm 'part' of such as debater or weight lifter, I'd be upset, because I see myself as me and nothing else.

Perhaps this is why I have such a hard time defining myself as well. For me, I look at people who choose a tattoo, bumper sticker, or even a game where they have to choose one thing to describe, very succinctly, who they are and I wonder how on Earth they did it. I cannot bring myself to be any 'one' thing, or commit to a symbol to represent the entirety of who I am. Its an interesting dillemma, and one I've often thought about.

Does my lack of commitment to any 'one' thing make me less 'self defined'? I don't think so... I think its more that I know very clearly who I am, and none of those generic ideas or things fully encompasses the whole picture, so I pass it by and keep searching.

 

[Jgib5328]

Very well said, especially the bolded parts.




Perhaps this is why I have such a hard time defining myself as well. For me, I look at people who choose a tattoo, bumper sticker, or even a game where they have to choose one thing to describe, very succinctly, who they are and I wonder how on Earth they did it. I cannot bring myself to be any 'one' thing, or commit to a symbol to represent the entirety of who I am. Its an interesting dillemma, and one I've often thought about.

Does my lack of commitment to any 'one' thing make me less 'self defined'? I don't think so... I think its more that I know very clearly who I am, and none of those generic ideas or things fully encompasses the whole picture, so I pass it by and keep searching.

It makes you harder to define, because of your higher degree of self-complexity. You aren't less self-defined, you're defined by yourself and all that you encompass, which can't be simplified down to one aspect.

 

[Uytuun]

I have a strong sense of self, but I don't normally feel the need to define my self.

 

[DigitalMethod]

I rarely define myself. And I think I'm pretty consist with my behavior. Most people would call me static, or say that I have a strong sense of self.

The problem for me, is that I don't have a clear idea of what my passions are.

So in a way, I don't have a very clear sense of self at all...

Does anyone relate?

 

[DigitalMethod]

I've heard the look has scared, intimidated, or made uneasy those who aren't sure of themselves. It was once described to me as, "seeing right through them." "All their flaws and weaknesses laid bare."

Mmmhmm.. I've been told that as well.

 

[527468]

I can tell by what kind of questions someone asks if they have a strong sense of themselves.

 

[Uytuun]

I rarely define myself. And I think I'm pretty consist with my behavior. Most people would call me static, or say that I have a strong sense of self.

The problem for me, is that I don't have a clear idea of what my passions are.

So in a way, I don't have a very clear sense of self at all...

Does anyone relate?

I've always felt comfortable having an unconscious notion of self, but I have never examined its contents, I just go with the flow with it. I know that I am, but I don't know what I am. I've never stopped to think who I am, what I stand for, what I need, what my passions are etc. I think this is because I could never answer those questions absolutely - if I had to choose then that's what I am, fluidity.

"Do I contradict myself?
Very well then I contradict myself,
(I am large, I contain multitudes.)"

Heh, I shall use it as my signature.

At the same time I'm very much my own person and I'm never fully part of any other group and keep my critical distance...I think part of my will always be essentially alone.

Catch lemons: what is a sense of self?

 

[DigitalMethod]

I've always felt comfortable having an unconscious notion of self, but I have never examined its contents, I just go with the flow with it. I know that I am, but I don't know what I am. I've never stopped to think who I am, what I stand for, what I need, what my passions are etc. I think this is because I could never answer those questions absolutely - if I had to choose then that's what I am, fluidity.

"Do I contradict myself?
Very well then I contradict myself,
(I am large, I contain multitudes.)"

Heh, I shall use it as my signature.

At the same time I'm very much my own person and I'm never fully part of any other group and keep my critical distance...I think part of my will always be essentially alone.

Catch lemons: what is a sense of self?

Yeah I relate. And I'm fine with being the static although unconscious me. But choosing a major doesn't really like that sort of person.

 

[Uytuun]

I always knew what I wanted to do, however, I feel like I've mastered it and have grown bored.