[ENTJ] How are ENTJs intimidating?

[hotmale]

This is actually very good advice.





Seriously... Sometimes I wonder if people can't feel some kind of vibe we ENTJ's try to control and hide. My real personality is directive and bossy. I control myself not to appear this way or else I would have serious problems with others and wouldn't get anywhere. Still, people sense this.

But if I was 100% myself, I think most people would become traumatized, faint, develop spots, become hysterical, develop a personality disorder and commit hara-kiri.

I felt like I've been socialized to feel ashamed of my directive tendencies. Everything teaches you to be submissive. School does. Groups do. People try to control your behavior. If you want to lead, you can only do it in a limited frame where you have to respect all these social norms and rules. You have to endure authority at work before you get to lead too. If people sense you want to lead too much, you're a target for trouble by the leader. So, the best coping mechanism I've found is to appear introverted and indecisive... and to patiently wait the moment to step in. It works pretty well!

Isn't the MBTI about finding who you are and doing what you really enjoy? OK! Thanks Mr. Consultant, where do I sign up to have the right to boss everyone around and tell them to get screwed if they don't obey me? Didn't your test tell me I was the "Leader". So... Napoleon, Bill Gates, Thatcher... Yes I see. Right! Just don't tell others, heh?

Well said. This is the best post I've read all day.

 

[Park]

Well said. This is the best post I've read all day.

Are you in love or something?

 

[kathara]

They fail to intimidate me in any way

 

[FreedomofSpeech]

They fail to intimidate me in any way

What's your real name?

come out come out....

 

[Mendacity]

I have 3 ENTJs in my life: my mother and two female friends I've known for a long time.
My mother can be formidable but I'm not intimidated by here because she's my mother.
My two friends were (and often are still) intimidated by me. I don't understand why, since one was dating a close friend of mine when we met so I went out of my way to be kind and welcoming to her.

I've never found them to be intimidating... except when they're angry. They're freaking scary when they're angry.

 

[kathara]

What's your real name?

come out come out....

Claudia

The INTP in me is not impressed by displays of power or authority.

 

[Mycroft]

Claudia

The INTP in me is not impressed by displays of power or authority.

Who said anything about displays of power or authority?

 

[Varelse]

I've never found them to be intimidating... except when they're angry. They're freaking scary when they're angry.

I can see that.

I've seen ENFJs be freaking scary when they're angry as well.

 

[FDG]

I recognize I'm a bit scary when I'm angry. This is also because I try hard to never ever express negative emotions, so when I do, it means that there are many things that have been accumulated.

 

[runvardh]

I recognize I'm a bit scary when I'm angry. This is also because I try hard to never ever express negative emotions, so when I do, it means that there are many things that have been accumulated.

Similar trigger for me, but slightly different result other than still being scary. I've talked about it here a few times so I'll link it when I get around to it.

Edit: got around to it here

 

[Riva]

I respect how commanding and decisive ENTJs are. These are valuable personality traits. I have difficulty understanding why some people are so intimidated by a person with presence.

not by their presence but by the way they argue and the way they say things when they are sure of it. then ENTJs actually do sound aggressive. and ENTJs dont leave any room for stupid arguments which will actually get on their nerves (not to a point of starting a fight) but it does anyway.

but those traits will do look pretty intimidating to a person who just made a casual comment, not expecting any REACTION let alone an argument.

 

[tinkerbell]

agressive attack as an exploration techneque doesn't suit everyones tastes.

Thinking because it's rational it's superior, it's not.....

belittlment of cooperative decision styles, which might not be as functionally strong but they don't cause mayhem when they are embeded

possitiong themselves as clever clogs - no one likes a smarty pants...

Putting people down

Dissmissing people because they are not bright

Dissmising people even if they are bright, because they don't dress the way they should

Having a bad attitude towards people in authority

Taking fun out of attacking others with less strong arguments/abilities in a dialectal fashion

taking the piss out of people who don't understand they are being taken the piss out off...

They can be real charmers.....

L

 

[Valiant]

agressive attack as an exploration techneque doesn't suit everyones tastes.

I'm not some free food sample, i'm not obliged to suit anyones tastes.
Life is short, try to get as much done as you can.

Thinking because it's rational it's superior, it's not.....

It is. The alternative is irrational.

possitiong themselves as clever clogs - no one likes a smarty pants...

Better to be clever and disliked than being average or stupid, but loved.

Putting people down

Like hunting? I must try this.

Dissmissing people because they are not bright

Well that's a bloody good reason, isn't it? If someone's stupid... Stupid things come out of their mouths! unless they pass information on without any mental processing of their own. Repeating information isn't worth a damn anyway.
If it's not very, very special information. But that stuff doesn't just lie around waiting for stupid people to read it. So this would be highly unlikely.

Listen to stupid people 0.1% of the time. Ignoring them or even tell them to shut the fuck is way better.

Dissmising people even if they are bright, because they don't dress the way they should

This is SJ. I don't care if you're a beggar or an oil magnate.

Having a bad attitude towards people in authority

This isn't ENTJ. That is counter-productive. Burning bridges is OK if that person is not in a position to hurt you and if the person is of absolutely no use, and rude on top of that. I wonder what personal experiences you have had that makes you say such things.

Taking fun out of attacking others with less strong arguments/abilities in a dialectal fashion

Why should I let an illogical or weak argument stand? As long as it is not opposed, the person who said it is the current winner. If I can best him/her, I will.

taking the piss out of people who don't understand they are being taken the piss out off...

Are we some kind of colostomy bags for incontinent people, you say?

They can be real charmers.....

Well, thank you!

 

[Cenomite]

I always have to take a gulp before I argue with my ENTJ friends. They sure as hell don't go down easy, and they're definitely intimidating. The ones I know try and assume a position of authority in an argument instead of arguing as your equal, and the tone is often really hostile and intimidating. Another I know doesn't take an intimidating tone or raise his voice, but has an aura of "you better be right or you'll be sorry you spoke" to him.

The ENTJs I've come in contact with are good people though, and they'll always hear you out. They'll just push you to the limit to make sure you know wtf you're talking about. I don't really see anything wrong with this, like Jesus here said, there's no reason to let an illogical or weak argument stand. They get shit done and sift through the bullshit.

 

[htb]

[. . .]

Lies! Vilification! Character assassination! Etcetera!

 

[garbage]

When some of the other ENTJs at work agree with me, they'll bastardize what I've tried to phrase tactfully, effectively turning it into a direct attack on everyone who disagrees. They'll put everyone in the room on the defensive, and I end up having to intimidate them to get them to back down so that we can actually have a meaningful discussion. You don't exactly win friends or convert people to your point of view by being a dick to everyone. And the truthfulness of an idea isn't a function of how forcefully you can deliver it.

ENTJ intimidation

 

[Winds of Thor]

This is actually a serious question, because I dont think that I am behaving in a particularly aggressive way, often I even try to tone down the way I talk, tone down my voice and such. Yet many times people start stuttering when talking to me and I can see the fear in their eyes, though I dont know how to put them at ease in such a situation.

Some other people, like my ENTP and ISTP friends, usually find hilarious what I do (whatever that is).

Anyways, I was just wondering what it is that makes us "intimidating" and how ENTJs are perceived from the outside.

Another point is the supposedly "controlling" behaviour, I am not really sure what "controlling" behaviour even looks like, and I dont think I am controlling of social situations. Most times I will just go along with what other people want to do when socializing, and I try to make sure that everyone is ok with what is decided upon. When with friends I am usually easy going, I actually act a lot like my ESTP friend when we are out having fun, note though that work does not count as "social situation", there I am much more my ENTJ self, and experience that people are afraid of, though I am not sure why.

I will stop now before I keep on repeating myself, bring on your views and opinions pls.

What? Your type description is INTJ...So why do you think your are an ENTJ?...Okay that's one point...Next, If you are an ENTJ I would imagine others might be responding to, what I see in an entj friend, and that is an the 'can't not make decisions' approach to many things ENTJs do. So they may be like "why doesn't she just let it be"..I know..I know pygmalion in nature. Being yourself is good though..It gives others to consider different ideas and approaches..Some find this irritating..but who cares? I don't go around trying to please everyone else..That's not your job.

I suggest listening to others and acknowledging verbally to them their good ideas..that way they see that you 'see' merit in others' perspectives. Also it would help if others would stand up to challenges you may put up. I think you would add a measure of respect towards them for standing up to you. It's just that not many people have the guts. I do but it's not without some thinking and backing up my point of view with logic. So in social circles this may be a problem as they are not something often logic-based.

That's my view..Don't know if I see that correctly though. I'm not there and can't know because I wasn't there either.

 

[garbage]

What? Your type description is INTJ...So why do you think your are an ENTJ?

Thread's over a year old.. he's probably changed his type by then.

 

[Kangirl]

I have noticed people behaving in ways which indicate they find me intimidating, but it's certainly not something I consciously set out to - come across as intimidating, that is. Even on here a few times I've had replies to some of my posts that seemed to have taken them as rude or argumentative when I meant nothing of the sort. Strange disconnect there between how I perceive myself and how others perceive me, sometimes.

 

[Frank]

Usually it is because they have not matured enough or had enough life experience to have learned that a velvet glove strategically placed is often more productive than an iron fist.