[MBTI General] "Not Cool Enough"

[maliafee]

Thanks Iqibi and Last Railway, I thought you both gave me a lot of good pointers.

 

[King sns]

How to fix this tho... Just Be Yourself!! Ok, no, seriously tho... hmm... so... one thing I've noticed with primary Se/Ne types is that they just really like feedback... I get along with primary Se/Ne types real well, and I think it's mostly cause I give a lot of reactions/feedback. They can say the most unfunny/uninteresting joke/comment, and I'll give a nice reaction anyway. It's like crack to the ones I know... I don't do this to exploit them, I'm like that with all people, but those types really seem to dig it.


Maybe if you try this and other things ESFP's like, they'll like you more, and you'll feel less insecure around them. It sounds lame, I know: "find ways to get this person to like you so you don't feel insecure around them", but in all seriousness, it's more practical and it works. Once you know how to get on their good side, you'll feel more comfortable around them, and then it'll be easier to be yourself. The ultimate end is "Being Yourself," the means can be whatever the hell you want it to be, as long as it gets you there.


/endwalloftext

this.

 

[callmemigs]

Honestly, people worrying about how they would come off to others are pathetic. Come on, being uncool is not the end of the world. Just do your own thing. The more comfortable you are with yourself, the more people will like you but of course, you will never please everybody.

I've been like this too, I taught I was so uncool so I tried acting like everybody else until I realized that I am losing my internal self. I had friends but they were just temporary. Then I came back to being myself again and my lost friends reconnected with me again and more people had liked me compared before. You may not be good in social settings but you can still be good on other things.

And sometimes, I have to admit, I think people who come off as cool doesn't impress me that much. Most cool people I had ever met are so narcissistic and egotistical. I'm not saying all cool people are like that BUT a lot are.

Anyway, this is just my opinion. Try not to get hurt.

 

[Brouhaha]

Come on, being uncool is not the end of the world. Just do your own thing. The more comfortable you are with yourself, the more people will like you but of course, you will never please everybody.

+1

 

[Anja]

I think that "being cool" is when a person seems to be exactly what they are. We all know it when we see it. Authenticity.

 

[maliafee]

Pathetic, eh? Sorry but I find type interaction interesting whether or not it's considered pathetic to reveal that one type makes you feel weak... Get hurt? Bah. You miss the point of the post.

Honestly, people worrying about how they would come off to others are pathetic. Come on, being uncool is not the end of the world. Just do your own thing. The more comfortable you are with yourself, the more people will like you but of course, you will never please everybody.

I've been like this too, I taught I was so uncool so I tried acting like everybody else until I realized that I am losing my internal self. I had friends but they were just temporary. Then I came back to being myself again and my lost friends reconnected with me again and more people had liked me compared before. You may not be good in social settings but you can still be good on other things.

And sometimes, I have to admit, I think people who come off as cool doesn't impress me that much. Most cool people I had ever met are so narcissistic and egotistical. I'm not saying all cool people are like that BUT a lot are.

Anyway, this is just my opinion. Try not to get hurt.

 

[callmemigs]

Pathetic, eh? Sorry but I find type interaction interesting whether or not it's considered pathetic to reveal that one type makes you feel weak... Get hurt? Bah. You miss the point of the post.

I don't think ISFPs are all weak. I never said anything. And there's no such thing as a weak person either unless the person wants to feel weak about himself/herself.

Sorry if I might have hurt your feelings.

 

[maliafee]

I don't think ISFPs are all weak. I never said anything. And there's no such thing as a weak person either unless the person wants to feel weak about himself/herself.

Sorry if I might have hurt your feelings.

No, you didn't. I just think you missed what I meant by "not cool enough." Not actual coolness. Just a feeling of psychological weakness brought on by standing even next to an ESFP. I don't care if it's not a popular view of what is "healthy" -- it's still what happens to me. All the "just be yourself" in the world is uninteresting to me because I was merely interested in exploring why one type could have this effect on me...

Anyway, sorry if I seemed to snap; that wasn't my intention.

 

[Winds of Thor]

If you've seen School of Rock, that quote might be funny to you. :/

Anyway, I wanted to bring something up that's bothered me for a while.

For years now (about 13) since I've been interested in/studying type, I've noticed that every ESFP I come into contact with is nice, fun, interesting, great, etc., but for some reason they leave me with the feeling that I'm just "not cool enough." This happens every time. This might be why I'm not close with any ESFP. On first meeting, the ESFP always seems like a person I would like, someone l would naturally get to know and do things with. But I can't ever get there, because I always find myself terribly self-conscious around them (this is the only type that does this to me [except SOMETIMES being around an ESTP will get me feeling this way, but not as much].

Generally, I am fairly self-confident, feel good about myself and my interests and am not considered "dorky" by anyone I know (not that that would be a problem, but I just am not). But as soon as an ESFP is near I find myself feeling like the most awkward person who ever lived. I find myself wanting them to think I'm cool and also I find myself hyper-sensitive to their actions, trying to make sure I'm being appropriate from their point of view. As you can imagine, this feeling is very uncomfortable. Not only that, it colors my reactions. Instead of laughing things off and engaging in witty back-and-forth with ESFPs, as I would with other people, I find myself feeling unable to talk that easily.

It distresses me, because I want to be at ease with everyone, and I want everyone to like me (HAHA I know this sounds immature -- I don't mean I need them all to like me, but I like to keep a good rapport with everybody). It's annoying to have one type be able to walk into a room I'm in and suddenly exert unspoken influence over the way I feel.

Is this type-related, or all in my head? And further, does this happen to other types? Are there certain types that can make you feel insecure for no apparent reason?

I'd love a response on this from anybody, but especially people who really know functional analysis.

Gee, I really don't know your specific situations, but I will say since the ESFP and ISFPs are naturally pals, with minimal conflict, it would seem to me either your feelings are nothing to be too concerned about, or the ESFPs are just not cool enough as you! Haha!

Is there something in particular which happens each time you get this sense? Is it always in conversation you feel this way? Or perhaps when you two are not speaking together? What type of situation is it when you become insecure...

You know, sometimes two people can get uncomfortable, it seems the two acknowledge this, and there's really nothing wrong at all..just the feelings..So if this is your sense in these situations then under that specific scenario I would just disregard the feelings as trivial because of no reason for it..

That's all I got right now..

 

[NewEra]

Cool enough? Who cares who 'cool' you are? I did when I was younger, but not anymore. Everyone is different, you don't have to try and be cool just to fit in or something.

 

[ajblaise]

Any attempt at coolness should start off with the realization that trying to be cool is uncool.