[INTJ] INTJ Intimidation

[htb]

What is it about us that causes people to think that we are stand-offish, aloof, intimidating, etc.?

Programming.

 

[Mycroft]

My take:

We are naturally reserved in daily interaction (like other I's), we are naturally oblivious to what sociologists call face-preserving/-saving behavior (like other T's), we are naturally non-conformist (like other N's) so we don't emulate any social courtesies we don't understand and (unlike the intimidating runners-up, the INTPs) we exude complacent certitude when we do interact. In sum, we seem mysterious and anti-social yet confident = intimidating.

Agreed. We're introverts who don't have the good grace to be uncomfortable and retiring in social situations, even having the gall to be confident. Everybody knows that only people who keep up on the latest trends and have a large network of friends have the right to feel good about themselves.

 

[runvardh]

Can someone answer me as to why many bosses of mine have been intimidated by me while I've been equally intimidated by them?

 

[Economica]

Can someone answer me as to why many bosses of mine have been intimidated by me while I've been equally intimidated by them?

Introversion in itself can intimidate people because they don't know what you're thinking. (I've seen perfectly amiable but socially insecure introverts scare each other through mutual silence. ) Could it be that your bosses have intimidated you (for whatever reason) and that your reservation has then in turn stimulated their insecurities?

 

[runvardh]

Introversion in itself can intimidate people because they don't know what you're thinking. (I've seen perfectly amiable but socially insecure introverts scare each other through mutual silence. ) Could it be that your bosses have intimidated you (for whatever reason) and that your reservation has then in turn stimulated their insecurities?

Hmm, sounds plausible, especially with the ESTP boss I had. I constantly put him off balance, especially when I was talking at meetings or him and I speaking directly with each other. It's strange watching an outwardly confident man turn into a shambling mound of insecurity...

Edit: Oh, and that watching two introverts intimidating each other seems like the dynamic with my other bosses.

 

[Economica]

Glad to be of service.

 

[Veneti]

What is it about us that causes people to think that we are stand-offish, aloof, intimidating, etc.?

I use to think that it was my dry humor and sarcasm, but I've had waitresses stop in their tracks on the way to the table and then say something to the extent of, "Why are you looking at me like you hate me," when all I did was glance in their direction. This hasn't been an issue in awhile really, but I still find it interesting.

Hang on... Its not like all INTJ's are cold blooded murderers in disguise.

I think there's a whole distribution of INTJ's with social skills. However most INTJ's can simply turn off the "lets be social bunnies" and as such be pretty cutting and sarcastic... (Because you don't rate their intellect etc).

It is weird though, I don't get caught up in the office politics... and its amazing to drop down into their conversations about how everyone is doing this and that trying to cover problems here and there etc...(Basically just trying to cover their arses)... I can deliver or I will acknowledge that I can't as soon as I am aware... so I just don't get the politics. (Worse still is politicised organisations that have large numbers of non NTJ's making the decisions...Arrgg..)

 

[ptgatsby]

I can tell you why I do, sometimes. I'm the quiet guy in the meeting. The one that looks asleep, who is just a warm body. I'm watching you though, always watching. I'm looking for holes.

Then I ask "How" it can/would be done. Or when. Then I ask for data. People don't like that question. Either you have a good sales person who has no practical knowledge, or you are an N selling an idea... it's rare you get a presenter that can answer how something is done (but it does happen... but technical people normally make poor presenters).

(Incidently, this is intentional - I have a list of cognitively biased questions that I always try to ask. They are among the hardest questions to answer - nothing as powerful as the "Why do you believe what you believe" stuff).

But it's the quiet sniping attack. INTJs, however, also have the limit move: dismissal of opponent as a human being. It takes no time to do and involves high level contempt. Very powerful, and yes, intimidating.

Oh, closed minded certitude works well too, along with the limit move and with the attribute "No social graces", is very effective at intimidation.

 

[Metamorphosis]

But it's the quiet sniping attack. INTJs, however, also have the limit move: dismissal of opponent as a human being. It takes no time to do and involves high level contempt. Very powerful, and yes, intimidating.

This made me smile when I read it. ...then I realized it probably shouldn't have...

 

[Economica]

Oh, closed minded certitude works well too, along with the limit move and with the attribute "No social graces", is very effective at intimidation.

The limit move? Please explain.

 

[Natrushka]

But it's the quiet sniping attack. INTJs, however, also have the limit move: dismissal of opponent as a human being. It takes no time to do and involves high level contempt. Very powerful, and yes, intimidating.

I have a crush on you. You understand us.

 

[runvardh]

I have a crush on you. You understand us.

No wonder he managed to get one of you.

 

[Veneti]

But it's the quiet sniping attack. INTJs, however, also have the limit move: dismissal of opponent as a human being.

Hmmm... I tend to think of them (the masses) as like humans that graze pastures until they are slaughtered.

 

[ptgatsby]

This made me smile when I read it. ...then I realized it probably shouldn't have...

*sigh* That's the thing with INTJs. They know it, and they love it.

The limit move? Please explain.

It's a term used in Final Fantasy games (you haven't played, have you... shame on you, as an NT!) (here.

More or less, an ultimate attack.

I have a crush on you. You understand us.

No wonder he managed to get one of you.

A damn shame that INTJs also don't share, eh?

 

[Natrushka]

It's enough for me to know someone understands. Colour me intellectually satisfied.

 

[runvardh]

*shrug* I don't like sharing either so I'm quite happy trying to find my own

I'm just working on how to get past the intimidation thing with out being a jerk at the same time.

 

[ptgatsby]

*shrug* I don't like sharing either so I'm quite happy trying to find my own

I'm just working on how to get past the intimidation thing with out being a jerk at the same time.

Confidence + interest in what they aren't good at = good times.

 

[runvardh]

Confidence + interest in what they aren't good at = good times.

Hmmm, confidence I'm working on, but I guess I have to find one first before I can determine the compatability of my interests with her weaknesses. That makes them harder to meet though since, from what I'm seeing, they avoid their weaknesses like the plague.

 

[Mendacity]

What's more, it's not our faults that some people are so lilly-livered that a little eye contact makes them lose their composure.

I agree. It's shocking how many people manage to get through their lives with such thin skin.

 

[Mendacity]

Mycroft, you're my new hero.