I agree with you that the ENFJs have a shadow. Their shadow is what they don't tell others. What they omit from their conversations. Why they don't want to be alone. It's easier to drown out pain and suffering if you keep yourself busy with the problems of others, and pretend to wear your emotions on your sleeve. In reality, ENFJs (and I would argue ESFJs as well) have a well-developed inner world, but it is surprisingly dark. Darker than they allow others to see.
ENFJs and SFJs like to project themselves as being emotional, being able to be overcome by emotion, but only as an act for others, not for themselves. Fe to me is just that. It's being concerned with social niceties, not necessarily because one is "fake", but, just like all personality types, as a way of coping with reality. Fe types tend toward the outer world as a way of rejecting the reality inside them, just as Fi types can sometimes forsake the outer world as a way to reject the reality that exists outside of them, which can leave us feeling dejected and alone at times.
The result is usually that Fe types can forget that they can be happy without projecting their emotions onto others, and all of their effort goes into projecting that happiness. Fi types, on the other hand, begin to question the emotions of the outer world, refusing to project much emotion onto others except as a means of self-affirmation. That is the origin of the shadow in both types.
If I completely missed the mark, lemme know. I didn't read the middle of the topic.
