Keirsey's soulmates: ENFJ/INTP

[Domino]

ENFJs scare me with their intensity, I love their passion and idealism and drive but it's kind of in the way you love a wild animal -

My ENFP sister calls me that a lot. A barely domesticated animal. I'm seeing a theme here.

you can stand and watch for hours, fascinated, impressed, moved, mesmerized even, but you don't want to step inside the cage in case you get devoured. I've only met one (that I know of) of the opposite sex and he kind of made me all gooey, (which is not a good thing, btw, if you're an INTP).

Being devoured is so bad? What if you come out alive? Never total annihilation.

Also, he's the only person I ever felt I wasn't good enough for. I worried I'd end up like Tess, abandoned by her Angel, for being a mere mortal. He really was pretty damned perfect though *sighs*.

Wow, we're on the same page to a large extent.

I still vividly remember a couple months after meeting my current wife ...... having lunch with a great friend. I was discussing "the gal I'm currently dating", and while talking at length about how wonderful she was, I also said "but in a way she scares me and I'm not confident in what I offer her in a relationship." Exact words, I still remember them.

I was literally ready to abandon the relationship because of these fears. That's a damn tough transition for a typical INTP to make .... but from experience, it's worth it (thank God I did).

I've heard this more than once from INTPs.

 

[Jack Flak]

Being devoured is so bad? What if you come out alive? Never total annihilation.

Several quotes from the movie Unforgiven come to mind. Namely "Yeah. F*** that noise." LOL.

 

[MacGuffin]

Fact: ENFJs are insane.
Fact: INTPs are curious.
Fact: Crazy mixes with curious.

 

[booyalab]

(3) Once this happens, each partner has a healthy respect for the other. There's also a healthy respect for each other's individuality. But they DON'T want to change each other. I think each personality type is among the types that are most accepting of others.

ENFJs are among the most accepting of others?

 

[Domino]

Well, I recall the fear in the eyes of an INTP I dated years ago. It was... alien to me. The fear of losing oneself. I feel nearly impossible to alter, by force or persuasion, at least as far as my "me-ness". It's indelible. It doesn't come off. He was really terrified of losing himself. Good thing I'm not a clingy person. I need space. I think that alleviated some of the panic.

I've never run up against that fear with ENTPs. The ones I've been involved with couldn't assimilate me fast enough. What do you think the difference is? Ne before Ti?

 

[Jack Flak]

I've never run up against that fear with ENTPs. The ones I've been involved with couldn't assimilate me fast enough. What do you think the difference is? Ne before Ti?

They're louder and less contemplative.

 

[Domino]

ENFJs are among the most accepting of others?

Are we? I took NFPs for that job?

 

[Domino]

They're louder and less contemplative.

Louder maybe. Less contemplative - you mean they don't think over their next move to the same extent as the I? I just took it for being decisive.

 

[Jack Flak]

Louder maybe. Less contemplative - you mean they don't think over their next move to the same extent as the I? I just took it for being decisive.

They don't analyze as much. Act more, think less. Slightly more reckless.

 

[Domino]

They don't analyze as much. Act more, think less. Slightly more reckless.

So according to this statement, an ENTP is an INTP off it's chain?

 

[Jack Flak]

So according to this statement, an ENTP is an INTP off it's chain?

Yeah, and bashed about the skull a few times.

 

[INA]

Are we? I took NFPs for that job?

hell naw!
Not if MBTIc is any indication. And not in my limited IRL experience with them.

 

[MacGuffin]

hell naw!
Not if MBTIc is any indication. And not in my limited IRL experience with them.

NFPs or NFJs?

 

[INA]

NFPs or NFJs?

NFPs. Maybe I've been lucky with the ENFJs so far. The most loudly critical and condemnatory IME have been the Ps.

 

[MacGuffin]

NFPs. Maybe I've been lucky with the ENFJs so far. The most loudly critical and condemnatory IME have been the Ps.

You'd expect to clash more with the Js.

Hmm... need to figure this one out.

What about INFs?

 

[Jack Flak]

"The most loudly critical and condemnatory IME have been the Ps."

That's just the J kids not wasting all their time on the Tubes.

 

[INA]

You'd expect to clash more with the Js.

Really? I know the Js have a rep for trying to change people, but maybe they are simply more skilled at the approach. There may be disagreement, but there's less "that's because you're messed up and for this I hate you forever" as with some Ps. It seems most Js take it less personally. It's mighty big of them.

What about INFs?

What about them? The contrast isn't as marked out yet.

That's just the J kids not wasting all their time on the Tubes.

 

[MacGuffin]

Really? I know the Js have a rep for trying to change people, but maybe they are simply more skilled at the approach. There may be disagreement, but there's less "that's because you're messed up and for this I hate you forever" as with some Ps. It seems most Js take it less personally. It's mighty big of them.

In my experience, Ps are usually more laid back. Admittedly, I have most of that experience with SJs.

What kind of P "hates forever"?

 

[Salomé]

What kind of P "hates forever"?

i do - it takes too long.

 

[MacGuffin]

i do - it takes too long.

Make sense!