Keirsey's soulmates: ENFJ/INTP

[Limonali]

It would be great to find more INTPs - the ones I've dated/been involved with were cosmic. Talk about instant karma. Whatever it is, it's like being boiled in oil and liking it. You just instinctively want to knock them down and sit on them, grinning like a Cheshire Cat. (Granted, that happens to me with both NTP types.) The first guy I was violently attracted to was INTP and it was mutual.

Loved it so dragged it out here in the open again (page 3 lol).
btw, say hi to your new ENFJ!

 

[MacGuffin]

The ENFJ-INTP pairing seems pretty rare. INTPs appear to hook up with ISFJs and INFJs by several magnitudes more than ENFJ.

 

[airjaw]

When INTP's find someone to share their lives with who truly gets them. It's amazing how much they want their partner to truly understand them...and that my friend is not easy for everyone to do. It's not explicit demands they are implicit.

It's also about an INTP's partner being alright with themselves..they have to be...and I don't mean in a physical sense...(he's off at the computer or work or in his head and I'm at this party alone) I mean being sure of themselves and not needing alot of demonstration of their partners feelings....that requires something...that places a demand on an INTP's partner right there. Not a bad demand..but a demand

Does that make sense?....

I think this is accurate. (INTP here). Well, I won't speak for all INTPs just for myself. Fellow INTPs can chime in whether my experiences are true for them as well.

I want my partner to understand me, to mindmeld with me, on par with a Vulcan. That is not easy and is very high maintenance mentally. It's a great fear of mine to be misunderstood. Dealing with that insecurity takes emotional energy and skill.

Not to mention needing your partner to be so emotionally mature that she/he can have the confidence to be your mate without needing constant reaffirmations of love like an ISFJ needs.

Not to mention needing that partner to come right back around when the INTP needs the ENFJ.

Not to mention needing the partner to view you as her soulmate, to view you as special, to be crazy about you. I can't date anyone who doesn't feel that way about me, just my insecurity at not being "special". That's a huge demand that about 95% of females can't meet, as they need to be the "special, desired" one.

Not to mention needing the ENFJ to make the first move as the INTP frequently won't - yet another demand on the partner.

It's pretty much a miracle INTPs ever find love at all. Just something you come to realize as you grow up.

FWIW I'm still single but the 3 best matches for me I've ever met were ENFJs. I never had a chance with them. Still waiting for that 4th. If you (INTP) find a good one (ENFJ) don't give her/him up.

 

[justadbag]

INTPs with any type other than their "dual", the ESFP

are headed for a real rough hell-of-a ride (into hell)


because, no other type can truly understand the INTP like the ESFP can, and vice versa.

this goes for all Duals.


ESFP + INTP
ESTP + INFP
ENFP + ISTP
ENTP + ISFP

ENTJ + ISFJ
ENFJ + ISTJ
ESTF + INFJ
ESFJ + INTJ

all Perfect matches.


trust me. I have loads of real-life-evidence. It's un-arguable.

 

[justadbag]

ps, I am dating an INTP (AWESOME)

and my 4 best friends, are all INTPs.

and my other best friend is ENTJ.


I'm pretty much in (gamma quadra) heaven.

and we all get along ridiculously well. like, think- telepathic communication.

 

[Fravashi]

I haven't read the entire thread, but just wanted to record here that I am a female INTP, and I simply adore ENFJs. I have had at least four very powerful male ENFJs in my life, and although only one was a lover (briefly), all are so close to me that I know that if I were on my death bed, they would all come and visit to pay last respects if they could. That's how tight we are.

If I could bottle the ENFJ personality and carry it around with me for instant encouragement, I would. For me, they are my mentors and teachers and brothers. I have also been a mentor to at last one of them . . . but they are more my tutors and they do in fact activate me, just as Keirsey suggests. It's true. They bring out the best in me and they love me, genuinely love me like a sister. I feel their sincere admiration and their desire to be around me, just as a natural outcome of our mutual adoration. We are a mutual adoration society.

I spent Thanksgiving this year with one of my oldest ENFJ friends. I was getting a coffee and he was in the car, waiting for me. He was sitting at the wheel and as I approached with the coffee, I felt this incredible surge of emotional security seeing him in the car, patiently waiting . . . and I knew I was safe with him. Does that make sense? Even though we are not lovers, we love each other like family.

ENFJs seem to be interested enough in art and far out theories to make the INTP perfectly happy in conversation with them. They stabilize my wilder theories and keep me grounded, and I pester them enough about my stranger thoughts that they will respond -- willingly, openly, not as though I am some weird specimen (as so many other men do), but with respect and simple admiration.

One dark thread that runs through three of my four ENFJs is alcohol addiction. Two are active alcoholics, one is in recovery, and one never drank or did drugs at all. Of course, INTPs are known for their addiction problems as well, so I'm not pointing fingers here. In fact, I talked to one old ENFJ friend tonight and he was very tipsy . . . and I didn't mind at all. I just felt love for him, even in his diminished state.

Also, a very interesting tidbit here: I am much more psychically attuned to my ENFJ friends. We are psychically aligned, even over long distances. And that's highly unusual just of itself.

I'm still single, so even though my ENFJ guy friends are all married now (and every one of them had big crushes on me when we were all younger . . . now that I think about it) . . . I am going to make a point of trying to find an ENFJ husband. Time and distance and the reality of the phenomenal impact these men have had on my life makes this a no-brainer, even though I've always thought I wanted an extraverted NT. Maybe the ENFJ is the perfect guy for me after all, after all these years, and I just couldn't see it! I'm actually happy about this idea and now all I need to do is figure out where ENFJ men hang out, where I can find them.

 

[akck]

I am a 51 year old ENFJ female that is dating an INTP that I met in high school, and started dating over 30 years later. We have been seeing each other for over a year and things are going very well! I can't answer why my INTP boyfriend is interested in me but I do know what I like about him; he is intelligent, fiercely loyal, caring, laid back and honest. He's straight-forward as am I yet we have a great time joking around. I think in "any" relationships it's important to know strengths and weaknesses of each person which is why these personality threads can be a great tool. Having similar values and a mature perspective will go along ways in any relationship. No relationship is going to be perfect and both people if they are sensitive to the partner will grow and learn from them. We have not even had 1 argument or one time where voices were raised and we are going very strong. Hopefully we can compliment each others personality traits and look more at the positives than the negatives. Knowing what makes us each tick can only be a positive in how we respond to each other. I would be rather interested to experience a negative but if they are are this few and far between it tells me that everything else is a plus and worth it in the end. So far my partner has met my emotional needs which is very important to an ENFJ which I know can be a stretch for him sometimes. On the other hand, I know I have strong opinions and in some areas it's better to take more care how I word things. ENFJ's care and want to help people and so I hope I did just that! If you truly love the person, you'll both find a way to have win-win situations as long as you both can discuss things openly and honestly Celebrate your positives while being mindful of the differences!

 

[á´…eparted]

I don't put stock into these "idea" dating pattern things. Largely because there is potential for any type match up. Type doesn't make it any better or worse.

That said, I don't think I could ever date an INTP (if I found one I had a ton of chemistry with I'd truly be surprised). I can get along with them fine in person so long as they are a good person with their ego in-check. I have yet to get close with one though. In groups I enjoy them, but one on one there is just... nothing to talk about, and what is talked about usually become some sort of debate type thing which just leaves me annoyed and not want to engage with them anymore. Communication styles are so different.

A big portion of them tend to think I am a joke as well, which is really off-putting. They also tend to think I am stupid which is also, really off-putting.

 

[WALMART]

i'll be the intp to someone's enfj

 

[animenagai]

It's a really weird feeling to see a thread you've created years ago resurfacing on a forum