emilymxarie
New member
- Joined
- Jun 28, 2020
- Messages
- 11
I've been trying to figure out my MBTI type for years, but even after reading into cognitive functions I haven't been able to type myself. I'd really appreciate it if anyone could scan over my text and state their opinion on the vibe of my writing.
Over the years, I've probably taken every shitty personality test on the internet & received every type as a result but ISFJ, ENFJ and ESFJ. My best friend thinks I might be ISFP, but she's not versed in MBTI typing tbf, while another friend typed me as INTP (which I doubt).
Posted the same text on reddit before, but I only received one reply & this person suggested I might be ENFP, but I guess I'm a bit more of an introvert.
(the questionnaire is from r/MBTITypeMe, sorry for any possible spelling mistakes or weirdly structured sentences, I'm not a native speaker & it was late in the evening when I filled it out)
Over the years, I've probably taken every shitty personality test on the internet & received every type as a result but ISFJ, ENFJ and ESFJ. My best friend thinks I might be ISFP, but she's not versed in MBTI typing tbf, while another friend typed me as INTP (which I doubt).
Posted the same text on reddit before, but I only received one reply & this person suggested I might be ENFP, but I guess I'm a bit more of an introvert.
(the questionnaire is from r/MBTITypeMe, sorry for any possible spelling mistakes or weirdly structured sentences, I'm not a native speaker & it was late in the evening when I filled it out)
• How old are you? What's your gender? Give us a general description of yourself.
I'm a 20 year old girl who appears rather shy & quiet, especially when I'm around new people, but I'm much more open & really playful once I've gotten to know someone. Despite my shyness, I love getting into arguments with others. I try being as authentic as possible when it comes to being who I am (my interests, for example), I hate having to disclose parts of myself in order to fit in somewhere. I love making new experiences, be it through travel or by discovering new music and I do try to enjoy life to the fullest. I have a hard time doing this though at the moment, as I dislike being alone but don't have any sort of close friendships with people in my home town, sadly. I have great online/far-distance friends tho (especially my best friend), but it's not the same as face-to-face-contact. I value humour and definitely use it as a coping mechanism. I feel as if I don't really have an actual sense of identity, so describing myself is a struggle. I can be rather dramatic and end up sinking into self-pity easily. When it comes to my interests, I'd say my main focus in on music (history) & politics at the moment.
• Is there a medical diagnosis that may impact your mental stability somehow? No, but I'm a mess lmao.
• Describe your upbringing. Did it have any kind of religious or structured influence? How did you respond to it?
I was raised as an only child by a working single mother, who never really acted as a figure of authority but rather as a friend, never imposing any strict rules on me. We never had much money, but she still managed to spoil me, which probably had a negative impact on me. My mom had mental health problems before I was born, but when I was around the age of 10 they really started to get worse, after which our relationship got strained. We moved in with my grandma when I was around the age of 6 or 7, and she's been like a second mother to me ever since, but she does have a fair share of psychological problems herself. My grandma & mom never really got along with each other, and they often fought with each other, as they have clashing personalities. I do have contact with my dad (my parents separated when I was around 2 years old), but nowadays he lives on another continent, is married & has a young son, so I don't see him that often. Religion or cultural traditions never played a huge part in my life, my grandma is a christian & I was baptized but never really bought into the concept.
• What do you do as a job or as a career (if you have one)? Do you like it? Why or why not?
I'm in my last year of school right now (I'm from Germany, and it's a vocational school where you graduate school after 13 years) I managed to work at the local cinema for like three days, but I quit because I hated having to stand for 8 hours (had pretty bad arthritis in my knee joints at time, to be fair) & got overwhelmed while working at the snack counter - multitasking isn't a skill I possess, lmao. After school, my current goal is to study psychology at university (my favourite subject), but I'm not sure what career I'd exactly want to pursue.
• If you had to spend an entire weekend by yourself, how would you feel? Would you feel lonely or refreshed?
If I'm at home, I think I'd die from acute boredom or from an existential crisis. I hate having to be all by myself, the feeling of loneliness gets very heavy at some point in time & I tend to place my focus on negative thoughts when no one is around. When I was younger, I actually liked isolating myself (or told myself that I liked it as a coping mechanism, who knows), but nowadays it is pure hell for me. However, if I'm somewhere else, say a city I've never been to, I would probably find a way to entertain myself.
• What kinds of activities do you prefer? Do you like, and are you good at sports? Do you enjoy any other outdoor or indoor activities?
I love visiting new places, discovering new things (music/knowledge/sites etc.), going to concerts as well as listening to music or simply chatting with friends. Sports really aren't my thing, I try to be active for 30 minutes every day & have inserted yoga into my daily routine, but generally I just suck at them lmao, although I do like hiking in mild terrain, as I love being in nature.
• How curious are you? Do you have more ideas then you can execute? What are your curiosities about? What are your ideas about - is it environmental or conceptual, and can you please elaborate?
I'm mostly curious when things interest me to a high extent - but then I'll try to gather every piece of information I can find, be it on a murder case, a psychological theory, a celebrity or something entirely different - If something catches my interest, I really want to grasp it wholly. As for ideas, I tend to have them once in a while, but more often than now, I end up not pursuing them after a certain point. This is especially true for ideas on how I could improve my current situation. I might think about ways I could get into contact with people my age or on how make my life more interesting, do further research on the possibilities and then end up losing motivation or hope in it.
• Would you enjoy taking on a leadership position? Do you think you would be good at it? What would your leadership style be?
Well, if I relate the times I had to act as a group leader in school to this question, I guess I'm rather unfit to be a leader, as I need time to open up to other people, which results in others often seeing me as distant. I think I'd be able to act as a figure of authority pretty well, but as I've mentioned before, I can act rather bossy, so I probably wouldn't be that popular lmao. As for my leadership style, I guess I would try to get everyone in the group to contribute to the cause and, if I had to, enforce my authority. I'd also take a lot of work onto myself because I would be afraid that others wouldn't fit my high standards. I probably didn't answer this question correctly, but I really have difficulty imagining myself in a leadership position.
• Are you coordinated? Why do you feel as if you are or are not? Do you enjoy working with your hands in some form? Describe your activity?
I have the worst coordination ever. Period. Seriously, there has never been an individual as bad as me when it comes to using coordination skils. I can't follow simple dance or yoga instructions, as I'm unable to project what I see onto my own limbs. I even had problems at first while driving due to this fact. Everything I do with my hands ends up being a complete disaster as well, especially when it comes to creative tasks, such as drawing or applying make up. Seriously, my artistic skills seem to be locked at kindergarden-level.
• Are you artistic? If yes, describe your art? If you are not particular artistic but can appreciate art please likewise describe what forums of art you enjoy. Please explain your answer.
I do value the arts very much, but I s u c k at creating them. I do like to draw for fun, like really bad caricatures. I'm currently trying to learn playing bass guitar, if that counts. Creating art and I aren't made for each other. Concering other people's pieces of art, I mostly enjoy music (it is of uttermost importance of me, I don't think I'd manage to be alive without it, but I do like going into galleries as well. I don't know if it counts as a form of art, but I do love decorating things.
• What's your opinion about the past, present, and future? How do you deal with them?
I tend to dwell on the past quite a bit, thinking about missed opportunities and paths chosen wrongly, but more often than not, I'm able to pull myself back into the present quickly. This is where I live mostly, going from day to day. I don't deal with the future at all, as I have no concrete plans for it at all. I don't know how long I'm going to live, so why not enjoy the present while I can? The future is uncertain anyway, as right now we can see how a situation can drastically change in a short amount of time. So planing seems just...unnecessary, I guess?
• How do you act when others request your help to do something (anything)? If you would decide to help them, why would you do so?
When someone requests my help, I tend to give them a hand, although this depends on who exactly is asking. For my friends and family, I would do almost anything. As for other individuals, if I have a positive or neutral relationship with them then yeah, I'll help them out if I can. If I'm in the need of help, I'd be glad if someone responded to my request, so I guess that's my primary motivation for helping out others. If it's something I'm unable to do (well), I'll tell them right away, though.
• Do you need logical consistency in your life?
I think I'm unable to grasp the true meaning of this question to be honest lmao, school doesn't teach you how to explain the (lack of) logic in your decision making in English. I may feel better if I grasp the logic behind things, but sadly, that doesn't mean that I always think first, act later. I wish I did, and I think things through if they're of high importance, but I can be pretty impulsive as well. I guess it sort of depends on my mood, whether I'm in high spirits or fucking exhausted, as well as the way something will impact my life. All in all, I wouldn't say that logic is that important to me.
• How important is efficiency and productivity to you?
It depends. At times if feel terrible if I'm unable to meet the standards I've set for myself, that is if something is of great importance to me. Sometimes, it is better so be a bit less efficient/productive in order to increase the overall quality of your life or your work in general, so I tend to put less work into things that aren't of much relevance.
• Do you control others, even if indirectly? How and why do you do that?
In some situations, I'm guilty of that. I'm not trying to manipulate anyone on purpose (most of the time, that is), but I can be controlling - I like to be in charge of my life, regardless of the situation, and sometimes fear that other people might be unable to do things right on their own. However, I usually don't order people around or anything, but I tend to double-check their work, for example.
• What are your hobbies? Why do you like them?
I love things relating to music - well, to listening to it, anyway. This is why I l o v e visiting concerts, I don't know if it counts as a hobby, but there's nothing as exciting for me than going to a new venue & listen to a band I hadn't discovered before. I love "discovering" new things, exploring new places etc. for the same reason - it's exciting, and you end up broadening your horizon. I've taken on the bass guitar a few months ago, I don't know if I can actually consider practicing playing it a hobby, but I do dedicate an amount of time doing it. I also love thrift shopping, especially for CDs or vinyl, but also clothing - it's exciting & doesn't hurt the environment as much as buying fast fashion does.
• What is your learning style? What kind of learning environments do you struggle with most? Why do you like/struggle with these learning styles? Do you prefer classes involving memorization, logic, creativity, or your physical senses?
I learn best by writing things down over and over again, as well as by applying the material to actual problems. Explaining it to others also helps me gain a better understanding of it. I'm not a big fan of having to learn something while being in a loud environment - I can ignore sounds if I manage to get in some sort of "flow", but otherwise that'll just distract me. As of learning styles, the one I struggle the most with is the auditory one - more often than not, if I hear information about a topic I'm not passionate about, I'll remember like 30% of it afterwards. I can't actually say which classes I prefer, but I always sucked at those where I had to use my senses, like P.E. or art (which sucks, because I really adore art. But if I draw something, it ends up looking as if a drunk 10 year old was the artist behind it), lmao. • How good are you at strategizing? Do you easily break up projects into manageable tasks? Or do you have a tendency to wing projects and improvise as you go?
I'm no chess player, but I think I'm pretty good at dividing tasks into smaller ones, especially concerning school work. Improvising has never lead me to any great results, so I pretty much avoid it if I can.
• What are your aspirations in life, professionally and personally?
I don't really have any concrete ones. All I know is that I want to discover as much as possible about myself & the world (through travelling) during this lifetime. Professionally, right now, what I do want is to finish school with grades good enough to be accepted into psychology at university, but I'm not even 100% that this is the field I want to work in. Other than that, I aspire to have fun while I'm still able to, as youth isn't something that'll last forever. So I guess I do have some "aspirations", but they aren't goals set in stone. I don't have my "perfect" life mapped out in any way.
• What are your fears? What makes you uncomfortable? What do you hate? Why?
I both hate and fear uncertainty - the feeling of being unable to get a confirmation on something is horrible. Tying into this, as I've mentioned before, the thought of losing control over my life, say because of an accident putting me into a vegetative state, is also truly terrifying to me. Another fear I have is the people I care about (as well as my pets) dying or being severely ill.To round things up, I also worry about failing something I've worked hard for, I guess. As for the things I hate, I absolutely hate people who have no spine/courage whatsoever, who never stand up for something they believe in or deny it in order to be accepted. If you have a voice and are able to use it, you should, as there are so many people who don't have that opportunity.
• What do the "highs" in your life look like?
I get overly motivated, inspired and energetic. In such situations, I'll feel glad to be alive. I can get quite a bit of work done in those moments, but most of the time, they don't last that long, I'll always find something to be unhappy about & come down from my "high" lmao.
• What do the "lows" in your life look like?
I end up thinking about how much I'd like to die - that doesn't mean I get suicidal, I just end up being totally sick of living. I'll then proceed to sit on my bed, listen to music and curse my existence. That's something I can do for hours. Another low in my life is when I end up getting aggressive, which often results in me insulting people I care about or otherwise hurting them verbally, as I haven't really got another outlet for my anger.
• How attached are you to reality? Do you daydream often, or do you pay attention to what's around you? If you do daydream, are you aware of your surroundings while you do so?
I pay quite a lot of attention to my surroundings & notice a lot of details. However, at times I tend to feel very detached from reality (guess I might experience some sort of derealisation)and I do manage to get caught up in a daydream every once in a while. If that happens, I tend to space out for a few seconds, but most of the time i snap out of it quickly.
• Imagine you are alone in a blank, empty room. There is nothing for you to do and no one to talk to. What do you think about?
I guess I'd get stuck in thoughts about how much I hate myself pretty quick, which would result in me sinking deep into self-pity, before pulling myself out of it because it is nothing but a waste of time, after which I'd think about how boring the current situation is. Might get into some sort of existential crisis later on.
• How long do you take to make an important decision? And do you change your mind once you've made it?
I can be rather indecisive, but it depends on the situation. Sometimes, I tend tend to rush things in order to just be done with them, if you know what I mean. If something is draining me, I'll try to decide on it rather quickly so I can stop having to think about it. After making a decision, I tend to think about whether it was the right choice or not, but more often than not, I'll stick to it.
• How long do you take to process your emotions? How important are emotions in your life?
Emotions often end up being a hindrance in my life, I guess. But being emotionless has the same result, so it's important to balance it out. I try not to be overly emotional in most situations, but I guess my emotions have much more control over me than I have over them, as I do end up getting emotional rather quickly. I'm not great at processing and understanding my emotions.
• Do you ever catch yourself agreeing with others just to appease them and keep the conversation going? How often? Why?
No, no, no - one should never deny their views in order to simply appease someone else (well, this probably doesn't apply if your life, your job or your freedom depends on it, but speaking of a normal conversation). This isn't the basis of a healthy relationship. If you have to deny parts of yourself in order to "keep the conversation going" with someone, then chances are that they're not worth conversating with.
• Do you break rules often? Do you think authority should be challenged, or that they know better? If you do break rules, why?
I wouldn't say often, no. Once in a while I might, but at this point in my life, there's no point in having to break any rules if none of them restrict me from anything in particular. If I do end up breaking a rule, it's mostly because I simply want to enjoy something which otherwise I couldn't due to restrictions.
One shouldn't blindly follow authorities - every authority and institution consists of humans, who are prone to being biased, as well as making mistakes. It's important to use your critical thinking skills and analyze claims made by authorities, and, if possible, challenge them. Sure, they often have a deeper understanding about a topic, but that still doesn't mean that one has to take everything they say for granted.
I'm a 20 year old girl who appears rather shy & quiet, especially when I'm around new people, but I'm much more open & really playful once I've gotten to know someone. Despite my shyness, I love getting into arguments with others. I try being as authentic as possible when it comes to being who I am (my interests, for example), I hate having to disclose parts of myself in order to fit in somewhere. I love making new experiences, be it through travel or by discovering new music and I do try to enjoy life to the fullest. I have a hard time doing this though at the moment, as I dislike being alone but don't have any sort of close friendships with people in my home town, sadly. I have great online/far-distance friends tho (especially my best friend), but it's not the same as face-to-face-contact. I value humour and definitely use it as a coping mechanism. I feel as if I don't really have an actual sense of identity, so describing myself is a struggle. I can be rather dramatic and end up sinking into self-pity easily. When it comes to my interests, I'd say my main focus in on music (history) & politics at the moment.
• Is there a medical diagnosis that may impact your mental stability somehow? No, but I'm a mess lmao.
• Describe your upbringing. Did it have any kind of religious or structured influence? How did you respond to it?
I was raised as an only child by a working single mother, who never really acted as a figure of authority but rather as a friend, never imposing any strict rules on me. We never had much money, but she still managed to spoil me, which probably had a negative impact on me. My mom had mental health problems before I was born, but when I was around the age of 10 they really started to get worse, after which our relationship got strained. We moved in with my grandma when I was around the age of 6 or 7, and she's been like a second mother to me ever since, but she does have a fair share of psychological problems herself. My grandma & mom never really got along with each other, and they often fought with each other, as they have clashing personalities. I do have contact with my dad (my parents separated when I was around 2 years old), but nowadays he lives on another continent, is married & has a young son, so I don't see him that often. Religion or cultural traditions never played a huge part in my life, my grandma is a christian & I was baptized but never really bought into the concept.
• What do you do as a job or as a career (if you have one)? Do you like it? Why or why not?
I'm in my last year of school right now (I'm from Germany, and it's a vocational school where you graduate school after 13 years) I managed to work at the local cinema for like three days, but I quit because I hated having to stand for 8 hours (had pretty bad arthritis in my knee joints at time, to be fair) & got overwhelmed while working at the snack counter - multitasking isn't a skill I possess, lmao. After school, my current goal is to study psychology at university (my favourite subject), but I'm not sure what career I'd exactly want to pursue.
• If you had to spend an entire weekend by yourself, how would you feel? Would you feel lonely or refreshed?
If I'm at home, I think I'd die from acute boredom or from an existential crisis. I hate having to be all by myself, the feeling of loneliness gets very heavy at some point in time & I tend to place my focus on negative thoughts when no one is around. When I was younger, I actually liked isolating myself (or told myself that I liked it as a coping mechanism, who knows), but nowadays it is pure hell for me. However, if I'm somewhere else, say a city I've never been to, I would probably find a way to entertain myself.
• What kinds of activities do you prefer? Do you like, and are you good at sports? Do you enjoy any other outdoor or indoor activities?
I love visiting new places, discovering new things (music/knowledge/sites etc.), going to concerts as well as listening to music or simply chatting with friends. Sports really aren't my thing, I try to be active for 30 minutes every day & have inserted yoga into my daily routine, but generally I just suck at them lmao, although I do like hiking in mild terrain, as I love being in nature.
• How curious are you? Do you have more ideas then you can execute? What are your curiosities about? What are your ideas about - is it environmental or conceptual, and can you please elaborate?
I'm mostly curious when things interest me to a high extent - but then I'll try to gather every piece of information I can find, be it on a murder case, a psychological theory, a celebrity or something entirely different - If something catches my interest, I really want to grasp it wholly. As for ideas, I tend to have them once in a while, but more often than now, I end up not pursuing them after a certain point. This is especially true for ideas on how I could improve my current situation. I might think about ways I could get into contact with people my age or on how make my life more interesting, do further research on the possibilities and then end up losing motivation or hope in it.
• Would you enjoy taking on a leadership position? Do you think you would be good at it? What would your leadership style be?
Well, if I relate the times I had to act as a group leader in school to this question, I guess I'm rather unfit to be a leader, as I need time to open up to other people, which results in others often seeing me as distant. I think I'd be able to act as a figure of authority pretty well, but as I've mentioned before, I can act rather bossy, so I probably wouldn't be that popular lmao. As for my leadership style, I guess I would try to get everyone in the group to contribute to the cause and, if I had to, enforce my authority. I'd also take a lot of work onto myself because I would be afraid that others wouldn't fit my high standards. I probably didn't answer this question correctly, but I really have difficulty imagining myself in a leadership position.
• Are you coordinated? Why do you feel as if you are or are not? Do you enjoy working with your hands in some form? Describe your activity?
I have the worst coordination ever. Period. Seriously, there has never been an individual as bad as me when it comes to using coordination skils. I can't follow simple dance or yoga instructions, as I'm unable to project what I see onto my own limbs. I even had problems at first while driving due to this fact. Everything I do with my hands ends up being a complete disaster as well, especially when it comes to creative tasks, such as drawing or applying make up. Seriously, my artistic skills seem to be locked at kindergarden-level.
• Are you artistic? If yes, describe your art? If you are not particular artistic but can appreciate art please likewise describe what forums of art you enjoy. Please explain your answer.
I do value the arts very much, but I s u c k at creating them. I do like to draw for fun, like really bad caricatures. I'm currently trying to learn playing bass guitar, if that counts. Creating art and I aren't made for each other. Concering other people's pieces of art, I mostly enjoy music (it is of uttermost importance of me, I don't think I'd manage to be alive without it, but I do like going into galleries as well. I don't know if it counts as a form of art, but I do love decorating things.
• What's your opinion about the past, present, and future? How do you deal with them?
I tend to dwell on the past quite a bit, thinking about missed opportunities and paths chosen wrongly, but more often than not, I'm able to pull myself back into the present quickly. This is where I live mostly, going from day to day. I don't deal with the future at all, as I have no concrete plans for it at all. I don't know how long I'm going to live, so why not enjoy the present while I can? The future is uncertain anyway, as right now we can see how a situation can drastically change in a short amount of time. So planing seems just...unnecessary, I guess?
• How do you act when others request your help to do something (anything)? If you would decide to help them, why would you do so?
When someone requests my help, I tend to give them a hand, although this depends on who exactly is asking. For my friends and family, I would do almost anything. As for other individuals, if I have a positive or neutral relationship with them then yeah, I'll help them out if I can. If I'm in the need of help, I'd be glad if someone responded to my request, so I guess that's my primary motivation for helping out others. If it's something I'm unable to do (well), I'll tell them right away, though.
• Do you need logical consistency in your life?
I think I'm unable to grasp the true meaning of this question to be honest lmao, school doesn't teach you how to explain the (lack of) logic in your decision making in English. I may feel better if I grasp the logic behind things, but sadly, that doesn't mean that I always think first, act later. I wish I did, and I think things through if they're of high importance, but I can be pretty impulsive as well. I guess it sort of depends on my mood, whether I'm in high spirits or fucking exhausted, as well as the way something will impact my life. All in all, I wouldn't say that logic is that important to me.
• How important is efficiency and productivity to you?
It depends. At times if feel terrible if I'm unable to meet the standards I've set for myself, that is if something is of great importance to me. Sometimes, it is better so be a bit less efficient/productive in order to increase the overall quality of your life or your work in general, so I tend to put less work into things that aren't of much relevance.
• Do you control others, even if indirectly? How and why do you do that?
In some situations, I'm guilty of that. I'm not trying to manipulate anyone on purpose (most of the time, that is), but I can be controlling - I like to be in charge of my life, regardless of the situation, and sometimes fear that other people might be unable to do things right on their own. However, I usually don't order people around or anything, but I tend to double-check their work, for example.
• What are your hobbies? Why do you like them?
I love things relating to music - well, to listening to it, anyway. This is why I l o v e visiting concerts, I don't know if it counts as a hobby, but there's nothing as exciting for me than going to a new venue & listen to a band I hadn't discovered before. I love "discovering" new things, exploring new places etc. for the same reason - it's exciting, and you end up broadening your horizon. I've taken on the bass guitar a few months ago, I don't know if I can actually consider practicing playing it a hobby, but I do dedicate an amount of time doing it. I also love thrift shopping, especially for CDs or vinyl, but also clothing - it's exciting & doesn't hurt the environment as much as buying fast fashion does.
• What is your learning style? What kind of learning environments do you struggle with most? Why do you like/struggle with these learning styles? Do you prefer classes involving memorization, logic, creativity, or your physical senses?
I learn best by writing things down over and over again, as well as by applying the material to actual problems. Explaining it to others also helps me gain a better understanding of it. I'm not a big fan of having to learn something while being in a loud environment - I can ignore sounds if I manage to get in some sort of "flow", but otherwise that'll just distract me. As of learning styles, the one I struggle the most with is the auditory one - more often than not, if I hear information about a topic I'm not passionate about, I'll remember like 30% of it afterwards. I can't actually say which classes I prefer, but I always sucked at those where I had to use my senses, like P.E. or art (which sucks, because I really adore art. But if I draw something, it ends up looking as if a drunk 10 year old was the artist behind it), lmao. • How good are you at strategizing? Do you easily break up projects into manageable tasks? Or do you have a tendency to wing projects and improvise as you go?
I'm no chess player, but I think I'm pretty good at dividing tasks into smaller ones, especially concerning school work. Improvising has never lead me to any great results, so I pretty much avoid it if I can.
• What are your aspirations in life, professionally and personally?
I don't really have any concrete ones. All I know is that I want to discover as much as possible about myself & the world (through travelling) during this lifetime. Professionally, right now, what I do want is to finish school with grades good enough to be accepted into psychology at university, but I'm not even 100% that this is the field I want to work in. Other than that, I aspire to have fun while I'm still able to, as youth isn't something that'll last forever. So I guess I do have some "aspirations", but they aren't goals set in stone. I don't have my "perfect" life mapped out in any way.
• What are your fears? What makes you uncomfortable? What do you hate? Why?
I both hate and fear uncertainty - the feeling of being unable to get a confirmation on something is horrible. Tying into this, as I've mentioned before, the thought of losing control over my life, say because of an accident putting me into a vegetative state, is also truly terrifying to me. Another fear I have is the people I care about (as well as my pets) dying or being severely ill.To round things up, I also worry about failing something I've worked hard for, I guess. As for the things I hate, I absolutely hate people who have no spine/courage whatsoever, who never stand up for something they believe in or deny it in order to be accepted. If you have a voice and are able to use it, you should, as there are so many people who don't have that opportunity.
• What do the "highs" in your life look like?
I get overly motivated, inspired and energetic. In such situations, I'll feel glad to be alive. I can get quite a bit of work done in those moments, but most of the time, they don't last that long, I'll always find something to be unhappy about & come down from my "high" lmao.
• What do the "lows" in your life look like?
I end up thinking about how much I'd like to die - that doesn't mean I get suicidal, I just end up being totally sick of living. I'll then proceed to sit on my bed, listen to music and curse my existence. That's something I can do for hours. Another low in my life is when I end up getting aggressive, which often results in me insulting people I care about or otherwise hurting them verbally, as I haven't really got another outlet for my anger.
• How attached are you to reality? Do you daydream often, or do you pay attention to what's around you? If you do daydream, are you aware of your surroundings while you do so?
I pay quite a lot of attention to my surroundings & notice a lot of details. However, at times I tend to feel very detached from reality (guess I might experience some sort of derealisation)and I do manage to get caught up in a daydream every once in a while. If that happens, I tend to space out for a few seconds, but most of the time i snap out of it quickly.
• Imagine you are alone in a blank, empty room. There is nothing for you to do and no one to talk to. What do you think about?
I guess I'd get stuck in thoughts about how much I hate myself pretty quick, which would result in me sinking deep into self-pity, before pulling myself out of it because it is nothing but a waste of time, after which I'd think about how boring the current situation is. Might get into some sort of existential crisis later on.
• How long do you take to make an important decision? And do you change your mind once you've made it?
I can be rather indecisive, but it depends on the situation. Sometimes, I tend tend to rush things in order to just be done with them, if you know what I mean. If something is draining me, I'll try to decide on it rather quickly so I can stop having to think about it. After making a decision, I tend to think about whether it was the right choice or not, but more often than not, I'll stick to it.
• How long do you take to process your emotions? How important are emotions in your life?
Emotions often end up being a hindrance in my life, I guess. But being emotionless has the same result, so it's important to balance it out. I try not to be overly emotional in most situations, but I guess my emotions have much more control over me than I have over them, as I do end up getting emotional rather quickly. I'm not great at processing and understanding my emotions.
• Do you ever catch yourself agreeing with others just to appease them and keep the conversation going? How often? Why?
No, no, no - one should never deny their views in order to simply appease someone else (well, this probably doesn't apply if your life, your job or your freedom depends on it, but speaking of a normal conversation). This isn't the basis of a healthy relationship. If you have to deny parts of yourself in order to "keep the conversation going" with someone, then chances are that they're not worth conversating with.
• Do you break rules often? Do you think authority should be challenged, or that they know better? If you do break rules, why?
I wouldn't say often, no. Once in a while I might, but at this point in my life, there's no point in having to break any rules if none of them restrict me from anything in particular. If I do end up breaking a rule, it's mostly because I simply want to enjoy something which otherwise I couldn't due to restrictions.
One shouldn't blindly follow authorities - every authority and institution consists of humans, who are prone to being biased, as well as making mistakes. It's important to use your critical thinking skills and analyze claims made by authorities, and, if possible, challenge them. Sure, they often have a deeper understanding about a topic, but that still doesn't mean that one has to take everything they say for granted.