What are the objective hall marks of greatness these days anyway?
What was it that had people convinced it was not great as it was?
In the good olden days we flew jet fighters emblazoned with Budweiser logos while gloriously bombing brown people into freedom
President Presley invented rock and roll and we sent Rambo to finish the Vietnam War
Andrew Jackson personally beat every Indian brave in MMA style combat.
Lindbergh flew to the moon and back, stopping to burn USSR flags for a live television audience before flying back and writing the screenplays to Top Gun and Iron Eagle
President Jason Robards personally ended segregation and signed a bill guaranteeing liberty forever
Ted Nugent bravely killed an army of communist bunnies when they invaded his freedom ranch where he wasn’t actually ranching, but rather working on his formula for ranch flavored lite beer
After Rambo singlehandedly ended communism in south east Asia, his brother Rocky Balboa went to Moscow and defeated Gorbachev and the ghosts of Lenin and Stalin in a boxing match.
Reagan and his VP Pat Boone released a Christmas album featuring rap covers of old holiday standards.
The color pink was determined to be legally gay
Our British allies elected James Bond to parliament and he became prime minister, helping to defend our freedom on the European front