This seems interesting, everyone on this forum thinks I am an ENFP, my friends and family think I am an ISFP, I wonder what you'll think up, I am in.
Essay: On Joy!:
Abstract: Internal happiness doesn’t come from the world but by meditating on God’s word, worshipping God, and praying. Living a life of thanksgiving, and commitments, thinking about yourself in Gods light, how not to waste your life, and focusing on God’s will for your life. This is what I have been slowly learning over the last couple of years. It is about being in peace with yourself, loving yourself by first loving God.
People tread through the woods imagining the time of sir Arthurs round table, and the battles of those greats’ knights. With fists clenched they tread forward like the brave prophets of the desert quenching for spiritual food and water. Seeking strength in stoicism and spirituality in the love of the Lord and loving the Lord, where are they going, where are they treading towards, towards what stream, towards what oasis, when only there are mirages, the palm trees, evergreen forests, water that can only fill their quench being an improbable possibility. Will they ever be satisfied, or will they continue moving in unison like soldiers, the holy martyrs, the nuns, the monks, the simple people of simplicity seeking hope in that which is outside of themselves. Seeing spirits in the trees, the houses, in fighting the good battle, in the sun, the clouds, the birds, the fish, the animals and especially in the herbs and the mushrooms. Hunting evermore for a satisfying meal, in light, in darkness, in the evermore wonder of the imagination, but can it satisfy the soul. Is happiness to be found in these places, in this state of consciousness, in life, in death, in timelessness, or is it an ever vanishing creature, a giant in which the ancient Ukrainians believed in and the fable told that the only way of escape is through confusion, by acting like the buffoon, to put your pants on backwards, and the shoes pointing in different directions as if they were Jerusalem’s Jesters. I believe that we must fight the good fight, to seek truth in internal happiness, this is the question that I have been pondering on. I feel as if I am possessed by a messenger, an angel while the spirit of Jezebel lurks in my shadow, promising delights in the spirit of Baal, in masochism towards the unclean spirits, finding God in idols, delight in the darkest of shadows, in the sadism of pain and relieve, Jezebel is the whore of the grim reaper killing for no reason only in the objectivity, delight of possession and power, the promises of Ayn Rand. The tyrants of old and new, as the prophets weep and seek strength in God, the dictators’ lust for status, fear and the promise of the whore of Babylon, the conquering of nature and death. I have no reason for fear, for status, for power yet we all have the propensity for evil, as the Russian mystics have put it learning from the Jews, the 20th century was the century of Baal, no I have no need for these thought experiments, in finding the spirit through new porn industries, in finding the spirit in any form of Baal, in the hatred of Beelzebub, I do not want to be a slave to darkness, as only corruption is to be found in the death of the soul, in the philosophy of progress through scientism and the mechanistic way of thinking, we are all androids seeking to be human, to be natural but falling into social norms, in different ways of thinking, while we try to kill the God that left us with the paradoxical questions of life. I seriously ponder if this way of thinking is where truth is to be found or if it is poshlust? I have sought truth in this form of thinking but have only found that it only displays half of the picture of the truth. The belief that God is a mythical being outside of science has become the new stance of many of the new greats, forgetting humanities past, and even the remembrance of the instinct to worship the beautiful, the majestic, is considered to be a product of the gene fallacy, as if it was ingrained in us by the Neanderthals, the cave men that beat women with a stick over the head to prove their love for them as they dragged them home and made them sign a wedding agreement. No I believe in science, I believe in human ingenuity, and I believe that the way forward is through learning more in the sciences, science is not something that is simply believed in but is an unquestioning fact of reality, it is the study of reality, but what if I was to tell you that what we know as reality is a transcending dream, an illusion, a cradle between two abysses, and solely relying on it will only prove to use mechanisms and not agency, everything may be the bioproduct of game theory, algorithms, but there is an eternal, an infinite that displays these numbers, the Fibonacci is simply a rhythm to the orchestral background, the God behind the curtains of the thin veneer between the timelessness that the prophet stumbles upon and nature which the scholars seek. God is the infinite in the finite. Join me as I push on forward with both fists clenched, unto the promise of internal happiness.
Internal happiness doesn’t come from the world but by meditating on God’s word, worshipping God, and praying. Living a life of thanksgiving, and commitments, thinking about yourself in Gods light, how not to waste your life, and focusing on God’s will for your life. This is what I have been slowly learning over the last couple of years. It is about being in peace with yourself, loving yourself by first loving God.
Internal happiness comes from the multiverses coming together under one picture frame, the whisper of the trees melting the heart as the sunset looks over you at the beach and the doves fly over you in all of their majestic beauty. Yet this can be argued for external happiness as well, one coming from an inner joy at the face of beauty, and the other being the beautiful that brings a smile on that rose cheeked face as you see the spring blossoms grow in the end of winter, the transitioning of seasons, as Vivendi plays in your mind, the transcendence of beauty in the mundane, but is this all there is to it. This happiness is fleeting, one minute we are gazing at the face of the eternal and the next we are pondering on work, school or something else that occupies our mind, our neuron transmitters can only be open for a duration of time before we become to overthink and allow our lives to cloud the eternal. What are we wondering about, what illusions are taking over our mind when we escape the present, is there more to happiness? Is it found in being estranged to the worldly, in the nostalgic as Lots wife looks back at the pillar of burning fire, turning her into a pillar of salt? Is it found in experimenting and discovering for self, rather it be hedonism or existentialism in the gaze of nihilism as King Solomon did? He discovered that all is vanity and only God can bring joy. He lived a complex life, a life of wisdom and riches, a life of prosperity, a life that prosperity preachers can only wish to live only to find that it is vanity, rebelling in pride and lust, Job rebelled in pride and sorrow, and the prophets fell in sorrow as they saw that Gods word was being ignored, even though they found happiness in God as the birds of the sky fed them, God visited them, but we cannot control happiness and cannot stare it at its face as it would kill us as Moses discovered when he was only able to look at Gods back. God is holy, we fall short of holiness, we grovel like the pig in the mud avoiding pearls or the dog that goes back to its vomit. The holy fool being portrayed as an enforcer, a rapist and a pyro in the minds of sinners as they cheat on their wives thinking that the devil is right and that Elijah was nothing more than a mad man. They fall into internal masochism, into alcoholism, opiate users, and lost in clouded judgement as they try to discover their own joys, without God I don’t believe internal happiness can be found. We may be able to describe all of nature, the universe, the multiverse, the tree of life, the multiple branches of time being seen in the beehive but we are not happy. There is more to it than this, joy is defined according to Rick Warren as: “Joy is the settled assurance that God is in control of all the details of my life, the quiet confidence that ultimately everything is going to be alright, and the determined choice to praise God in every situation,†and by Gregory Skovoroda as “Knowing thyself,†a life of self-reflection. I believe that that they come hand to hand in holy matrimony towards the bigger picture on what internal happiness is.
Favorite songs:
YouTube
YouTube
Favorite Movie Director: Quentin Tarintino
Favorite Short Story: My favorite short story concerning myself is the first time I got high and saw raccoons, I wanted to catch them and get them high, end of story.