[Traditional Enneagram] Enneagram Type Me Thread

[miss deceit]

Main Questions

1. What drives you in life? What do you look for?
- Being on top, I'm very competitive and always want to win. I work best when I'm calling the shots and leading a team.

2. What do you hope to accomplish in your life?
- I want to make some much needed changes to the education system which would help a lot of people out and I want to be recognised for doing so. I want to be rich.

3. What do you hope to avoid doing or being? What values are important to you?
- I hate losing, so winning is important to me. I'm very out of touch with my own feelings so describing my values would be hard.

4. What are your biggest fears (not including phobias)? Why?
- My biggest fears are failure and boredom (in that order). Failure is extremely embarrassing to me.

5. How do you want others to see you? How do you see yourself?
- I want others to see me as successful but also a helpful friend.

6. What makes you feel your best? What makes you feel your worst?
- I feel best when I'm winning and getting shit done, I feel worst when I stagnate and go into a slump.

7. Describe how you experience each of: a) anger; b) shame; c) anxiety.
A) I have had some issues with anger in my life, I don't usually let it get the best of me though. I definitely have a feisty streak though and if someone comes for one of my friends I will stick up for them.
B) Shame is a big factor in my life, I avoid situations that could embarrass me and make me look bad and I like to take charge of groups/teams in order to avoid the shame of failure/inferiority.
C) The main relation to anxiety I have is FOMO (Fear of Missing Out). I don't want to miss out on a good opportunity so I will try to take on more than I can sometimes handle.

8. Describe how you respond to each of: a) stress; b) unexpected change; c) conflict.
A) When I get stressed 2 things happen, firstly I become manipulative and exploitative and then I fall into pure apathy and withdraw.
B) Unexpected change doesn't bother me, I'm a very adaptable person and can successfully handle change.
C) Conflict doesn't usually bother me, I know how to handle it in a way that has me coming out looking better.

9. Describe your orientation to: a) authority; b) power. How do you respond to these?
A) I don't usually like authority but I will "kiss up" in a sense and lie/scheme if it gets me to where I want to be.
B) Power is something I am drawn to. I want to be in control, I like to be perceived as a good leader and I am good at delegating roles to people to make things more efficient.

10. What is your overall outlook on life and humanity?
My life of course has ups and downs, but I intend to win the game of life as I am not afraid to take action that allows me to achieve what I want to achieve. I am quite a sociable person, I have no issues networking, leading to create a certain image of myself that will benefit me the most. I am good at sizing people up, seeing through their bullshit.

Optional Questions

11. Discuss an event that has impacted your life significantly; more importantly, how you responded to it.
- Well very recently I received an unconditional offer for university which lit a "spark" in my life and got me out of an apathetic slump, I am now very motivated to succeed with flying colours at my Sociology degree when I go to university!

12. Comment on your relationship with trust.
- I'd describe myself as trusting to an extent, I'm not paranoid but I am aware that people may not always be what they say they are. I wouldn't say I have trust issues however, I generally know who to trust and who not to.

13. List some of the traits you: a) like; b) dislike most about yourself.
- I like how good I am at socialising with others, I like how I can adapt to situations and go after what I want.
- I dislike how I can sometimes disintegrate into apathy and how I often fall into "fake it till you make it".

14. What do you see or notice in others that most people don't?
- I notice when people are being phony and using people (probably because of my history with doing this myself).

15. If a stranger insults you, how do you respond/feel? What if they compliment you?
- If they insult me, I won't outwardly show I'm bothered but inside I do care what people think of me. If people compliment me, I'll compliment them back of course. Build that rapport.

16. What's something you are: a) thankful you have; b) wish you could have? Why?
A) Opportunities to succeed - because these will allow me to accomplish everything in life that I want to
B) More money - they say money is power, and power allows one to rise to the top. So yeah, I'd be able to achieve even more with more money.

 

[RadicalDoubt]

Based on this alone, you sound like a 3 core (probably 378 in that order; You don't elaborate much on things, so it's tough to see wings anywhere). Disintegration to 9 seems to make the most sense considering your tendency to fall into apathy and adaptable image style (which also relates to 3). This questionaire makes you sound sort of sx blind, but again, it might just be the lack of information.

A) What does power mean to you? How about failure?
B) You say you avoid emotions to a degree, but how introspective would you consider yourself as a whole? Why do you avoid it? What situations will make you introspect?
C) What would happen if you couldn't be rich or if you were forced to be in a situation where you were put in poverty? What would this mean to you, what are the biggest effects this would have.

 

[miss deceit]

[MENTION=34313]RadicalDoubt[/MENTION]
A) Power means being seen as a good leader, and being seen as the best. Oh and telling people what to do lol.
B) Most of my introspection is done retroactively, as I'm often thinking on strategizing based on external factors. When I have these huge apathetic dips, that's what pushes me to introspect to light that spark.
C) If I was forced into poverty - I'd either start cheating the system in a way to get me out of poverty or I would form connections with those in a similar situation to me. Alas, if I could find another way to win - the poverty probably wouldn't bother me too much. If I started to gain the reputation of a "loser" in that circumstance, that would either cause me to want to break out of it or perhaps more likely, find a way to turn lemons into lemonade and use that loser status to my advantage.

About my variants, I could be wrong but Sp 3s seem to conduct themselves with a lot more integrity and "hard work" than I do. I'm very much willing to cut corners and "cheat" to be on top. I don't think I'm sx blind because even if I'm not always vocal about it there is that side of me that genuinely does value those intense connections with others. That being said, in terms of the 3 descriptions for each subtype I relate in this order: social 3 > sexual 3 > self pres 3. Not sure if that provides anymore insight

 

[Saturnal Snowqueen]

Let's see, from this alone, definitely 3. Your wing sometimes I can see both cause you're pretty self searching at heart despite not being too emotionally invested, but I wanna lean two at least based on here. Like it seems like your image is based less on authenticity for the most part and rather what looks good, plus being people oriented by delegating roles and just wanting to be helpful and useful. But yeah, you just scream 3. The adaptability, the wanting to the best, and this could be influenced by MBTI but 3s aren't too in touch with their feelings since they're a competency type and focus on goals before feelings. You show 9 disintegration by withdrawing and becoming apathetic when down. I'd say triple assertive, you're a assertive triad meme. 7 fix because of not wanting to miss out and not minding change and avoiding boredom by taking up a variety of things. 8 because you don't mind conflict much and power means a lot to you and not like wishy washiness it seems. So yeah, 378, but I think Kray asked some pretty good questions so I'll look at those.

 

[miss deceit]

Let's see, from this alone, definitely 3. Your wing sometimes I can see both cause you're pretty self searching at heart despite not being too emotionally invested, but I wanna lean two at least based on here. Like it seems like your image is based less on authenticity for the most part and rather what looks good, plus being people oriented by delegating roles and just wanting to be helpful and useful. But yeah, you just scream 3. The adaptability, the wanting to the best, and this could be influenced by MBTI but 3s aren't too in touch with their feelings since they're a competency type and focus on goals before feelings. You show 9 disintegration by withdrawing and becoming apathetic when down. I'd say triple assertive, you're a assertive triad meme. 7 fix because of not wanting to miss out and not minding change and avoiding boredom by taking up a variety of things. 8 because you don't mind conflict much and power means a lot to you and not like wishy washiness it seems. So yeah, 378, but I think Kray asked some pretty good questions so I'll look at those.

That's true, I'm not too focused on authenticity. Goals do come before feelings, absolutely. That being said I have no issue faking emotions to get what I want.

 

[RadicalDoubt]

About my variants, I could be wrong but Sp 3s seem to conduct themselves with a lot more integrity and "hard work" than I do. I'm very much willing to cut corners and "cheat" to be on top. I don't think I'm sx blind because even if I'm not always vocal about it there is that side of me that genuinely does value those intense connections with others. That being said, in terms of the 3 descriptions for each subtype I relate in this order: social 3 > sexual 3 > self pres 3. Not sure if that provides anymore insight

According to countertype theory, that would be correct [I'm not sure if it holds for every supposed countertype though, I've seen sp3 descriptions that edge towards the typical cutting corners, the focus is just on the self). A 3 is always a 3 though, at average levels of health, I don't think integrity would be a key trait of any 3, even sp3. I was going by traditional variant definitions, as sp priorities the self (ie. needs, desires, goals etc) and, with 3, would be focused on material gain (ie. sp3 wants to be comfortable in it's resources, wealth, the car of their desires, etc etc). Sx blinds also desire intense connection with others and value that. Nonetheless, unless I see else wise, I'll trust your judgement on your IV. I think Soc definitely comes first, as it was the most obvious.

A) Power means being seen as a good leader, and being seen as the best. Oh and telling people what to do lol.
B) Most of my introspection is done retroactively, as I'm often thinking on strategizing based on external factors. When I have these huge apathetic dips, that's what pushes me to introspect to light that spark.
C) If I was forced into poverty - I'd either start cheating the system in a way to get me out of poverty or I would form connections with those in a similar situation to me. Alas, if I could find another way to win - the poverty probably wouldn't bother me too much. If I started to gain the reputation of a "loser" in that circumstance, that would either cause me to want to break out of it or perhaps more likely, find a way to turn lemons into lemonade and use that loser status to my advantage.

Yeah, definitely soc dom 3. Your reasoning behind seeking power is still image based and you seem like a competency type due to your emphasis on calculation as well as adaptability. I'm leaning towards w2 at the moment, but I don't see much evidence for either.

Sorry, some more questions just to see if I can gauge wings:

D) How far are you willing to change yourself to reach your goals, where do you set the line if at all? Do you have an ideal self that you work towards becoming and if so what is the basis of the traits that you tend to acquire?
E) What's more important, to be helpful and useful to others as well as yourself (ie. an integral part of whatever your working with) or to distinguish yourself as the best with an image that you idealize? The answer can both, but why?
F) Do you focus more on what you do good or on what you could do better? Why?

 

[miss deceit]

According to countertype theory, that would be correct [I'm not sure if it holds for every supposed countertype though, I've seen sp3 descriptions that edge towards the typical cutting corners, the focus is just on the self). A 3 is always a 3 though, at average levels of health, I don't think integrity would be a key trait of any 3, even sp3. I was going by traditional variant definitions, as sp priorities the self (ie. needs, desires, goals etc) and, with 3, would be focused on material gain (ie. sp3 wants to be comfortable in it's resources, wealth, the car of their desires, etc etc). Sx blinds also desire intense connection with others and value that. Nonetheless, unless I see else wise, I'll trust your judgement on your IV. I think Soc definitely comes first, as it was the most obvious.


Yeah, definitely soc dom 3. Your reasoning behind seeking power is still image based and you seem like a competency type due to your emphasis on calculation as well as adaptability. I'm leaning towards w2 at the moment, but I don't see much evidence for either.

Sorry, some more questions just to see if I can gauge wings:

D) How far are you willing to change yourself to reach your goals, where do you set the line if at all? Do you have an ideal self that you work towards becoming and if so what is the basis of the traits that you tend to acquire?
E) What's more important, to be helpful and useful to others as well as yourself (ie. an integral part of whatever your working with) or to distinguish yourself as the best with an image that you idealize? The answer can both, but why?
F) Do you focus more on what you do good or on what you could do better? Why?

D)In terms of reaching a goal, there is no line that I set where it's like "That's the farthest I'd go", or at least it hasn't come up in my life yet. In terms of an ideal self - I mean there's lot that I want to achieve but it would be hard for me to describe what I'd want my ideal self to be like.
E) Both to an extent, but I'd lean more towards being seen as helpful as I think it is, if nothing else, more beneficial to perceived that way and there is part of me that genuinely does want to make societal changes that will benefit everyone.
F) I look at both, but moreso what I could do better as I want to be constantly getting better at what I do whatever that may be. For example, I play a lot of video games to put my competitive streak to use and I'm always looking up what the "pros" are doing that I could use to get better at the game. Also another point in terms of video games that comes to mind actually - I like to learn the "exploits" or "glitches" in a game that I can use to my advantage and if I know I'm going to be playing a game for the first time I will try and look into tips/strategies for said game. I will utilise whatever I have to to win - whether that be in game exploits or engage in a little psychological "warfare" with my opponents to throw them off.

 

[RadicalDoubt]

D)In terms of reaching a goal, there is no line that I set where it's like "That's the farthest I'd go", or at least it hasn't come up in my life yet. In terms of an ideal self - I mean there's lot that I want to achieve but it would be hard for me to describe what I'd want my ideal self to be like.
E) Both to an extent, but I'd lean more towards being seen as helpful as I think it is, if nothing else, more beneficial to perceived that way and there is part of me that genuinely does want to make societal changes that will benefit everyone.
F) I look at both, but moreso what I could do better as I want to be constantly getting better at what I do whatever that may be. For example, I play a lot of video games to put my competitive streak to use and I'm always looking up what the "pros" are doing that I could use to get better at the game. Also another point in terms of video games that comes to mind actually - I like to learn the "exploits" or "glitches" in a game that I can use to my advantage and if I know I'm going to be playing a game for the first time I will try and look into tips/strategies for said game. I will utilise whatever I have to to win - whether that be in game exploits or engage in a little psychological "warfare" with my opponents to throw them off.

I'd probably go with 3w2 over 3w4 then. The 2 wing tends to accentuate the adaptability that 3 already brings to the table. 4 has a closer connection to the self, while willing to mold and adapt can only go so far before they reach a point where they're too deviated from the self (or at least the idealized self). Being within the idealism triad, 3w4 tends to have a stronger idea of what it considers to be the ideal self. Considering you are Ni, I think this would be more prominent if you were a 4 wing. You've mentioned desiring deep connection and having a desire to be helpful and useful to others, as well as incite social change, which I think aligns pretty well with social 2. In terms of "vibe" (not that this is always the best indicator), but you come across more "fiery" and engaging then "icy" and cutthroat, which is typically what differentiates 3w2 and 3w4 on a personal basis, although since this tends to get obscured with, way 3w4 378 and 3w2 315, I didn't know if I could trust that initially, but you seem to follow that trend decently.

 

[miss deceit]

I'd probably go with 3w2 over 3w4 then. The 2 wing tends to accentuate the adaptability that 3 already brings to the table. 4 has a closer connection to the self, while willing to mold and adapt can only go so far before they reach a point where they're too deviated from the self (or at least the idealized self). Being within the idealism triad, 3w4 tends to have a stronger idea of what it considers to be the ideal self. Considering you are Ni, I think this would be more prominent if you were a 4 wing. You've mentioned desiring deep connection and having a desire to be helpful and useful to others, as well as incite social change, which I think aligns pretty well with social 2. In terms of "vibe" (not that this is always the best indicator), but you come across more "fiery" and engaging then "icy" and cutthroat, which is typically what differentiates 3w2 and 3w4 on a personal basis, although since this tends to get obscured with, way 3w4 378 and 3w2 315, I didn't know if I could trust that initially, but you seem to follow that trend decently.

That makes sense, fiery is true (I do admit, I'm very much into "femdom" lol - might be just coincidental but I notice a trend with sx types being into BDSM?). I can definitely be cutthroat in that I will absolutely make some ruthless "power plays" to get to my goal (however, being ENTJ I guess that is par for the course ahah). Would you say then that 3w2 so/sx is a fit?

 

[RadicalDoubt]

That makes sense, fiery is true (I do admit, I'm very much into "femdom" lol - might be just coincidental but I notice a trend with sx types being into BDSM?). I can definitely be cutthroat in that I will absolutely make some ruthless "power plays" to get to my goal (however, being ENTJ I guess that is par for the course ahah). Would you say then that 3w2 so/sx is a fit?

Yeah, I think 3w2 so/sx would work well

 

[miss deceit]

Yeah, I think 3w2 so/sx would work well

Thanks for helping me out

 

[Lord Lavender]

Going by this questionnaire I would say 3w2 (balanced wings though like 55% 2, 45% 4) as you do seem to use 2 a lot here to serve your 3 (helping out, getting others approval) but you have that 3w4ish tendency to try and find a identity . Very heart core with all the focus on how others see you and how you relate to others. I would say a 8w7 fix for second and unlike you4 3 I have no doubt you are a 7 winger I don't see any 8w9ish desire for peaceful control or fear of separation. I don't have anything in depth regarding your 7 wing but its more the absence of any 9 and strong 7 energy that made me go for w7. Your head fix seems last from this questionnaire but its still pretty clearly a 7 fix with all the fear of missing out and fear of stagnation which points to a fear of depervation.

Additional notes:
Assertive triad is very evident here with your expansiveness, craving power and strong outward energy towards the world. I also see a lot of So here (image core and So can look similar but I think you display both) and I can even see So/Sp from this questionnaire due to more focus on self comfort than relationships but as Kray said I don't think a questionnaire can show your full personally and you are pretty intense in person . Your IVs are the one thing I cant seem to pin down for you as all 3 seem present in you and not lacking in any IV. Id incline So dom of some stripe though at a glance.

 

[miss deceit]

Going by this questionnaire I would say 3w2 (balanced wings though like 55% 2, 45% 4) as you do seem to use 2 a lot here to serve your 3 (helping out, getting others approval) but you have that 3w4ish tendency to try and find a identity . Very heart core with all the focus on how others see you and how you relate to others. I would say a 8w7 fix for second and unlike you4 3 I have no doubt you are a 7 winger I don't see any 8w9ish desire for peaceful control or fear of separation. I don't have anything in depth regarding your 7 wing but its more the absence of any 9 and strong 7 energy that made me go for w7. Your head fix seems last from this questionnaire but its still pretty clearly a 7 fix with all the fear of missing out and fear of stagnation which points to a fear of depervation.

Additional notes:
Assertive triad is very evident here with your expansiveness, craving power and strong outward energy towards the world. I also see a lot of So here (image core and So can look similar but I think you display both) and I can even see So/Sp from this questionnaire due to more focus on self comfort than relationships but as Kray said I don't think a questionnaire can show your full personally and you are pretty intense in person . Your IVs are the one thing I cant seem to pin down for you as all 3 seem present in you and not lacking in any IV. Id incline So dom of some stripe though at a glance.

Just gonna list some points:
- I agree with the 3w2 core and probably the 7w8 head fix

- After reading about 8, I'm very unsure about whether I have an 8 fix or not for a few reasons

• I'm not that reactive
• I'm pretty sure I'm too competency to just be single.
• I have a rather perfectionist streak
• It doesn't seem likes an 8 would use the "ass kissing" methods I do

.

- In terms of what you said about variants, comfort isn't something that matters to me. As I've said, the sp 3 description is by far the least relatable 3 to me. So/Sp would be contra flow and it would seem my strategies of achieving my 3 goals are more syn flow.

 

[RadicalDoubt]

Just gonna list some points:
- I agree with the 3w2 core and probably the 7w8 head fix

- After reading about 8, I'm very unsure about whether I have an 8 fix or not for a few reasons

• I'm not that reactive
• I'm pretty sure I'm too competency to just be single.
• I have a rather perfectionist streak
• It doesn't seem likes an 8 would use the "ass kissing" methods I do

.

- In terms of what you said about variants, comfort isn't something that matters to me. As I've said, the sp 3 description is by far the least relatable 3 to me. So/Sp would be contra flow and it would seem my strategies of achieving my 3 goals are more syn flow.

I could buy a 1 fix, but I don't think you're gut over head. Your 7 and 3 fixes seem to be clearest in terms of your fears and behaviors (ie. you are definitely an expansive type, you fear failure and boredom most of all, 1 on it's own is focused on integrity and has a superego edge that I don't really see in you). You come off relatively cerebral as well for a head last and, in terms of wings, you don't come across as a clear 2. Usually, when people have doubled up wings (especially adjacent to the core), it becomes difficult to differentiate the fix in which the doubling occurs. You are clearly 3 over 2 and your wings weren't super obvious, so I'd say if you double up like that, gut is probably last. 31x, even with 7, as a certain rigidness to it that you don't have.

 

[miss deceit]

I could buy a 1 fix, but I don't think you're gut over head. Your 7 and 3 fixes seem to be clearest in terms of your fears and behaviors (ie. you are definitely an expansive type, you fear failure and boredom most of all, 1 on it's own is focused on integrity and has a superego edge that I don't really see in you). You come off relatively cerebral as well for a head last and, in terms of wings, you don't come across as a clear 2. Usually, when people have doubled up wings (especially adjacent to the core), it becomes difficult to differentiate the fix in which the doubling occurs. You are clearly 3 over 2 and your wings weren't super obvious, so I'd say if you double up like that, gut is probably last. 31x, even with 7, as a certain rigidness to it that you don't have.

Funny you say that given I was super confused whether I was a 2 or a 3 not too long ago actually.

 

[RadicalDoubt]

Funny you say that given I was super confused whether I was a 2 or a 3 not too long ago actually.

I see. What about e1 do you relate to then? In terms of interacting with you in general, I still see more 7 than 1.

 

[miss deceit]

I see. What about e1 do you relate to then? In terms of interacting with you in general, I still see more 7 than 1.

I hope you do, because I see the shit e1s get in this community (stick in the mud - which I can be, the kinda "naggy teacher" stereotype which I also can be) lol.

That being said - I relate to wanting to control and "reign in" any anger rather than expressing it like a reactive 8 would. I relate to being very perfectionistic and I can be very self critical - always want to be improving and I absolutely do have that "these are the rules" side to me and will use those rules to get what my 3 wants (eg. "kissing up" and telling people what they want to hear).

 

[RadicalDoubt]

I hope you do, because I see the shit e1s get in this community (stick in the mud - which I can be, the kinda "naggy teacher" stereotype which I also can be) lol.

Hahaha yeah, that was one of the reasons I mistyped as a 1 fixer honestly [Although 3 tends to do that too so that ended up being my confusion] I don't think 1s are too bad, but they definitely get railed in the community (although not as bad as some other types).

That being said - I relate to wanting to control and "reign in" any anger rather than expressing it like a reactive 8 would. I relate to being very perfectionistic and I can be very self critical - always want to be improving and I absolutely do have that "these are the rules" side to me and will use those rules to get what my 3 wants (eg. "kissing up" and telling people what they want to hear).

That makes sense, I can see you as a 1w2 fixer honestly even without the explanation, the two constantly get confused for one another anyways. The one thing that confuses me is 1 > 7. I think there's a couple things I'll ask just to clarify I guess to make sure that's correct.

1) What does perfectionism mean to you? How well are you able to "kiss up" to other people in reality (ie. how often do they seem to be convinced)?

2) When problems get in your way and you are restrained (more metaphorically, like lifewise), what are your strategies for dealing with that? How do you respond when that doesn't work?

 

[miss deceit]

Hahaha yeah, that was one of the reasons I mistyped as a 1 fixer honestly [Although 3 tends to do that too so that ended up being my confusion] I don't think 1s are too bad, but they definitely get railed in the community (although not as bad as some other types).



That makes sense, I can see you as a 1w2 fixer honestly even without the explanation, the two constantly get confused for one another anyways. The one thing that confuses me is 1 > 7. I think there's a couple things I'll ask just to clarify I guess to make sure that's correct.

1) What does perfectionism mean to you? How well are you able to "kiss up" to other people in reality (ie. how often do they seem to be convinced)?

2) When problems get in your way and you are restrained (more metaphorically, like lifewise), what are your strategies for dealing with that? How do you respond when that doesn't work?

1) Very well, it always works in my favour. The best example at my age is school/college - consistent reports home that I'm a delight to teach etc. and this has worked out perfect for me given that due to this lockdown teachers are gonna be somewhat deciding our grades this year. Perfectionism to me means being the best at what you specialise in. I'm a fan of RuPaul's Drag Race so I'll use this as an example - if you're a drag queen and you're on the show, don't end up in the bottom 2 and not learn the words to the lip sync.

2) Hmm, it's hard to really say any particular problems that get in my way as it's situational. But when they do come up I deal with them calmly, but there is always that focus on my image if that makes sense. In two ways:
A) What would make me look best?
B) What would benefit everyone/make everyone feel good? (Even if this is sometimes selfish on my behalf)

Btw, the point I was trying to make with the first point about 1s getting shit on is that being a core 3 I don't wanna come off like that so I accentuate my 7 side in these communities whereas IRL my 1 side benefits me more (and as such is, in a way is more natural to me) so I will accentuate that. I mean I could see either order given that 1s don't tend to be into cutting corners and such but that's usually healthy core 1s and whatever order mine is in I'm a core 3w2 so that "do whatever I have to do to win" will always be my core mindset.

Hope that made some sense lol.