Lady Lazarus
Permabanned
- Joined
- Jun 30, 2014
- Messages
- 2,147
- MBTI Type
- INFJ
- Enneagram
- 9w8
- Instinctual Variant
- sx/sp
1) Context:
a) What is your age range and general location (Country so that cultural values can be taken into account)? Do you have any impairments that may affect the way that you answer this questionnaire? Any religious or political beliefs (or anything else along those lines) that also might have an effect?
I am 23 years old and American. I do not have any such impairments. I don’t care about politics and am Christian.
b) Which types are you currently considering? Why are you considering them and why haven’t you decided on one?
ISFJ 9w8, 9w1, sx/sp and sp/sx.
I am certain on my MBTI. But I am too controlling, assertive, and competitive to be 9w1. Yet, I am too refined, un-physical, and conservative to be 9w8. Also, my IV components are really close.
2) What do you deem as your purpose in life?
To overcome myself. I feel like I want to become the most perfect version of myself. It is a high of sorts and it is full of pain, but I have never hated pain.
Also, to seek and find whatever or whoever will satisfy and complete me. Although sometimes I begin to think this isn’t possible.
Essentially, I would like to reach the highest peak in a way that is unique to myself and whoever or whatever pertains to myself.
3) Of the seven deadly sins, which one(s) do you relate to the most and the least and why?
Most: Sloth, Wrath, Pride, Envy, Lust.
Least: Gluttony and Greed.
With regards to the one’s I relate to least, I generally don’t care too much about things like money and I am too discriminating to be a glutton. Quantity does nothing for me.
Is it bad that I relate to so many...
4) Analyzing your relationships with others, briefly describe:
a) The type of people you are drawn to
I like people who don’t try too hard and are perceptive in terms of knowing how to interact with others (not in the social rules sense though, those are also emotionally unintelligent). Because I’ve noticed with some people it’s as if they aren’t interacting with you but rather just running their gamut. Which is irritating. I love people who are raw and unique.
b) The type of people who are drawn to you
My mother used to like saying I draw in men who are weaker than I am on the inside despite seeming stronger on the outside. I do feel like I draw in the lost, weak, and needy.
Although I have affection for a select few among those and actually want to help them. I just lose my patience sometimes, I don't know why it must always be me people stick to like leeches. Indiscriminately. It makes me a little angry sometimes even though I realize there is more to it because I'm not dumb. I just want people I feel connected to do that but ugh, whatever.
c) The type of people you are repulsed by
People who can’t/won’t take responsibility for their actions.
5)What are the traits in others that you admire but you cannot emulate yourself? Elaborate.
I wish I were one of those people who can give everyone advice and I wish I were someone who was more inclined to feel some sort of desire to change the world instead of being someone who just forces their way through things callously.
6) Describe your relationship with the following:
a) Anger
My anger cannot be mitigated or stopped in any way. Once I am on it is almost guaranteed I will not stop until I have revenge. Though people I love, I have forgiven after some time. I am different when angry. I feel agitated up and as if I do not know what I will do. I sincerely want to hurt people when I am angry. And I will not be satisfied otherwise. People often remark that I go too far in anger although I have much more control over myself at this point and I can’t bother with stupid things on the usual. But when I do bother, I will win no matter what.
b) Shame
I think shame is what drives me to attempt to accomplish so much and makes me liable to departing from my comfort zone in most respects. I feel insufficient in the social so I am harsher and more independent in order to convey the message of something like selectiveness or self-sufficiency. It’s like a counterintuitive and blind attempt at seeming attractive. Like, I cannot be mainstream so I regard it as repulsive and find another way to seem sufficient.
c) Fear
When fear exists in me, it will gnaw at me so much that I will eventually confront it.
d) Love/passion
I merge with the object of my affection. In general I am a passionate person but I require a hit of high in other to make that overt. Otherwise I am numb and disinterested. I don’t feel anything/ significant interest for most people but I sometimes feel taken in by some people and I will even irrationally walk into situations that can only bring me detriment in order to become closer with them. I feel most clarity and drive and purpose when I merge, like what I do has meaning. I am a very focused person in my affections and of course, incredibly romantic. But in a real and personalized manner. Or else what sort of point would there even be to it. There is no show and there is no fanfare, everything is the object of my affection and I am probably all too rude in my tapering style. But I have no attention, no patience, no interest in anyone else. So it does not matter whether others find me rude in style.
e) Conflict
I can be avoidant of conflict when it is too much work over something ridiculous but I don’t have a problem fighting for what I believe to be important. I am a relentless and strong-willed person. And more than willing to destroy myself in order to destroy you. I kind of like fighting because it’s never a half-measure, it is all or nothing. For me anyway.
7) What are some of the themes that have played a prominent role in your life (ie. A struggle you’ve been unable to conquer, ect)?
Reinventing myself. It’s more like the opposite of an insurmountable obstacle.
8) Answer only one of the following:
a) [College aged and above] What is your area of work/study? Why did you choose this and would you change it? If so, what would be your ideal?
The one for masochists, I believe. But there is nothing I would rather pursue.
b)[Under college aged] What do you plan on studying/working as in the future? How did you go about deciding this? If this is not your ideal area of pursuit, what would be?
This isn’t applicable to me, obviously.
9) When meeting a new person, what do you tend to focus on?
Vibes and whether or not we click. I also think of how different we are.
10) How do you feel about humanity as a whole? What do you feel are some of the biggest problems the human race faces and why?
I feel like humanity is difficult to generalize.
Donald Trump is the biggest problem the human race faces. You know why.
11) What are some of your hobbies and interests?
Literature, music, fashion, philosophy, psychology.
13) How do you usually “hang out†with your friend(s)? When answering, think about what activities you tend to choose, whether you hang out with one person at once or many, whether or not you initiate the interaction.
Drinking. I hate hanging out with a group really and unless they’re going to offer me something literally stimulating I don’t even see the point. I want true friends, but I haven’t found any. And I realize I am to blame for this as well. I am pretty much an incorrigible loner.
14) What is more important, actions or words? Why?
Both are important, they communicate most clearly when taken together and even if you are partial to one you are of course juxtaposing it against the other anyway.
15) Oh dear, you’ve been cursed by a witch! It’s ok though, you get a choice on which curse you will receive. Will you choose….
a) To never be able to experience the sensation of taste
b) To be immortal
c) To lose your memories
d) To be poor for the rest of your life
e) Or to never experience passion
Elaborate on why!
To never be able to experience the sensation of taste, I don’t care about taste too much. And it could be useful in messed up ways.
16) What do you hope to avoid being? If it helps, describe a person who embodies what you avoid/you as a villain, ect.
Influenced by everyone else, comprehensible and complacently in agreement with reality or the majority. Ordinary and without vividity.
A sycophant. Submissive. Weak.
17) How do you relate to obsession? Do you tend to "merge" with others or your interests? How do you feel about the idea of doing this?
My mind only seems to be capable of operating on obsession. My thoughts are very focused and I have driven myself crazy several times throughout my life. However, I never perform or signal this (because why) so it is probably not obvious.
I always merge. I like it. But it’s rare and I don't want to do it with almost everyone. I can't, actually.
18) Organized or messy? Plans and blueprints or impulse and surprises? What are you preferences and tendencies?
In the middle and impulse.
19) How do you subjectively view comfort and how do you create comfort in your life and surroundings?
Sleep, food, wine, aesthetics.
a) What is your age range and general location (Country so that cultural values can be taken into account)? Do you have any impairments that may affect the way that you answer this questionnaire? Any religious or political beliefs (or anything else along those lines) that also might have an effect?
I am 23 years old and American. I do not have any such impairments. I don’t care about politics and am Christian.
b) Which types are you currently considering? Why are you considering them and why haven’t you decided on one?
ISFJ 9w8, 9w1, sx/sp and sp/sx.
I am certain on my MBTI. But I am too controlling, assertive, and competitive to be 9w1. Yet, I am too refined, un-physical, and conservative to be 9w8. Also, my IV components are really close.
2) What do you deem as your purpose in life?
To overcome myself. I feel like I want to become the most perfect version of myself. It is a high of sorts and it is full of pain, but I have never hated pain.
Also, to seek and find whatever or whoever will satisfy and complete me. Although sometimes I begin to think this isn’t possible.
Essentially, I would like to reach the highest peak in a way that is unique to myself and whoever or whatever pertains to myself.
3) Of the seven deadly sins, which one(s) do you relate to the most and the least and why?
Most: Sloth, Wrath, Pride, Envy, Lust.
Least: Gluttony and Greed.
With regards to the one’s I relate to least, I generally don’t care too much about things like money and I am too discriminating to be a glutton. Quantity does nothing for me.
Is it bad that I relate to so many...
4) Analyzing your relationships with others, briefly describe:
a) The type of people you are drawn to
I like people who don’t try too hard and are perceptive in terms of knowing how to interact with others (not in the social rules sense though, those are also emotionally unintelligent). Because I’ve noticed with some people it’s as if they aren’t interacting with you but rather just running their gamut. Which is irritating. I love people who are raw and unique.
b) The type of people who are drawn to you
My mother used to like saying I draw in men who are weaker than I am on the inside despite seeming stronger on the outside. I do feel like I draw in the lost, weak, and needy.
Although I have affection for a select few among those and actually want to help them. I just lose my patience sometimes, I don't know why it must always be me people stick to like leeches. Indiscriminately. It makes me a little angry sometimes even though I realize there is more to it because I'm not dumb. I just want people I feel connected to do that but ugh, whatever.c) The type of people you are repulsed by
People who can’t/won’t take responsibility for their actions.
5)What are the traits in others that you admire but you cannot emulate yourself? Elaborate.
I wish I were one of those people who can give everyone advice and I wish I were someone who was more inclined to feel some sort of desire to change the world instead of being someone who just forces their way through things callously.
6) Describe your relationship with the following:
a) Anger
My anger cannot be mitigated or stopped in any way. Once I am on it is almost guaranteed I will not stop until I have revenge. Though people I love, I have forgiven after some time. I am different when angry. I feel agitated up and as if I do not know what I will do. I sincerely want to hurt people when I am angry. And I will not be satisfied otherwise. People often remark that I go too far in anger although I have much more control over myself at this point and I can’t bother with stupid things on the usual. But when I do bother, I will win no matter what.
b) Shame
I think shame is what drives me to attempt to accomplish so much and makes me liable to departing from my comfort zone in most respects. I feel insufficient in the social so I am harsher and more independent in order to convey the message of something like selectiveness or self-sufficiency. It’s like a counterintuitive and blind attempt at seeming attractive. Like, I cannot be mainstream so I regard it as repulsive and find another way to seem sufficient.
c) Fear
When fear exists in me, it will gnaw at me so much that I will eventually confront it.
d) Love/passion
I merge with the object of my affection. In general I am a passionate person but I require a hit of high in other to make that overt. Otherwise I am numb and disinterested. I don’t feel anything/ significant interest for most people but I sometimes feel taken in by some people and I will even irrationally walk into situations that can only bring me detriment in order to become closer with them. I feel most clarity and drive and purpose when I merge, like what I do has meaning. I am a very focused person in my affections and of course, incredibly romantic. But in a real and personalized manner. Or else what sort of point would there even be to it. There is no show and there is no fanfare, everything is the object of my affection and I am probably all too rude in my tapering style. But I have no attention, no patience, no interest in anyone else. So it does not matter whether others find me rude in style.
e) Conflict
I can be avoidant of conflict when it is too much work over something ridiculous but I don’t have a problem fighting for what I believe to be important. I am a relentless and strong-willed person. And more than willing to destroy myself in order to destroy you. I kind of like fighting because it’s never a half-measure, it is all or nothing. For me anyway.
7) What are some of the themes that have played a prominent role in your life (ie. A struggle you’ve been unable to conquer, ect)?
Reinventing myself. It’s more like the opposite of an insurmountable obstacle.
8) Answer only one of the following:
a) [College aged and above] What is your area of work/study? Why did you choose this and would you change it? If so, what would be your ideal?
The one for masochists, I believe. But there is nothing I would rather pursue.
b)[Under college aged] What do you plan on studying/working as in the future? How did you go about deciding this? If this is not your ideal area of pursuit, what would be?
This isn’t applicable to me, obviously.
9) When meeting a new person, what do you tend to focus on?
Vibes and whether or not we click. I also think of how different we are.
10) How do you feel about humanity as a whole? What do you feel are some of the biggest problems the human race faces and why?
I feel like humanity is difficult to generalize.
Donald Trump is the biggest problem the human race faces. You know why.
11) What are some of your hobbies and interests?
Literature, music, fashion, philosophy, psychology.
13) How do you usually “hang out†with your friend(s)? When answering, think about what activities you tend to choose, whether you hang out with one person at once or many, whether or not you initiate the interaction.
Drinking. I hate hanging out with a group really and unless they’re going to offer me something literally stimulating I don’t even see the point. I want true friends, but I haven’t found any. And I realize I am to blame for this as well. I am pretty much an incorrigible loner.
14) What is more important, actions or words? Why?
Both are important, they communicate most clearly when taken together and even if you are partial to one you are of course juxtaposing it against the other anyway.
15) Oh dear, you’ve been cursed by a witch! It’s ok though, you get a choice on which curse you will receive. Will you choose….
a) To never be able to experience the sensation of taste
b) To be immortal
c) To lose your memories
d) To be poor for the rest of your life
e) Or to never experience passion
Elaborate on why!
To never be able to experience the sensation of taste, I don’t care about taste too much. And it could be useful in messed up ways.
16) What do you hope to avoid being? If it helps, describe a person who embodies what you avoid/you as a villain, ect.
Influenced by everyone else, comprehensible and complacently in agreement with reality or the majority. Ordinary and without vividity.
A sycophant. Submissive. Weak.
17) How do you relate to obsession? Do you tend to "merge" with others or your interests? How do you feel about the idea of doing this?
My mind only seems to be capable of operating on obsession. My thoughts are very focused and I have driven myself crazy several times throughout my life. However, I never perform or signal this (because why) so it is probably not obvious.
I always merge. I like it. But it’s rare and I don't want to do it with almost everyone. I can't, actually.
18) Organized or messy? Plans and blueprints or impulse and surprises? What are you preferences and tendencies?
In the middle and impulse.
19) How do you subjectively view comfort and how do you create comfort in your life and surroundings?
Sleep, food, wine, aesthetics.
