[sx] Why are sx-doms so common in typology communities?

[Red Memories]

I suppose I'll try to explain using my own dominant core as an example.

In a sense this is the very basic root covering of the variants.

Self-preservation, Social, and Sexual all walk into a room. Self-preservation stares around the room seeing if this room will meet their needs. Is it warm? Is there food? What is needed to make it fit said needs? Are the people within it people I feel safe with?
Social looks around at the other groups in the room. Do they fit? Belong? Do they feel they can mold into the group? What group will give them the most belonging or power? They will notice the hierarchies. They tend to avoid intimacy to a degree, in a sense of forming very deep personal connections.
Sexual is looking for the intensity in the room. A person? An activity? What is going to stimulate an intensity? They will associate whether they feel they belong with the person or not as they are less indulged in the idea of hierarchies. They become obsessed with the person or thing which creates the intensity.

In a sense every variant can be selfish. and to a degree is selfish.

To core roots:
Self-preservation may be too focused on persevering themselves to care about others needs, or to share their wealth.
Social can use their ability to see and understand social standings to get into a power role by "using" people. It can also morph itself into the image desired which is dishonest.
Sexual can become so obsessed with one person or thing they neglect those who need them more or value them more. Sx may also be reckless in seeking intensity and therefore hurt themselves and not care how the people they love are affected by their negative intensity seeking.

So all of these variants can be very negative in use. But on a good scale
Self-Preservation can make sure a room is adjusted well for company. It can create a sense of safety and warmth that other types may not be attuned to. Sp makes you more responsible, so while you have whims you also have balance.
Social can acknowledge the hierarchy but also choose to help include those left out so everyone has a group. Their desire for belonging can make them more likely to adjust a maladaptive behavior because they want to be one with the group or setting. It can be valuable.
Sexual can create exhilarating experiences for others and offer a deep connection others may not be willing to give. A deepest sort of loyal devotion.

I personally type myself as Sx dominant for a distinct thing that stands out about Sx dominance...

Self preservation instincts look out for themselves and their protection, they find comfort in things moreless.
Social instinct looks at the group and finds comfort in a sense of belonging.
Sexual instinct is looking outside themselves for this missing piece they cannot seem to find, that...thing. That person. That one thing that is going to complete them. That feels like the whole issue of my life, looking for something to complete me outside of myself and struggling to find it. This I think is what sets an Sx dom out from other variants. That they'll risk and hurt themselves and everything for some missing piece they don't know how to find...
[MENTION=35920]Ixaerus[/MENTION] since tis was semi reply to your conjecture. XD

 

[Luminous]

From what I have seen, it seems most people confuse what so is with what sx is.
So wants to merge with everyone and make a lot of connections. It feels connected to everyone. Merging is easy and frequent. It is very performative and knows how to play into the broader imagery of things like sexual appeal in a way sx/sp at least doesn't because it is social blind.
Sx is sensitive to connection. It's always looking for the connection, the soulmate or the one true love or true calling/passion or whatever (because as I said it can also be about a calling or something else). And it is the soulmate or whatever as well. That is all it can be. It is the seeker, always yearning. It is filled with disappointment and it doesn't understand why no one fits most of the time or how people can so insensitively pursue others almost arbitrarily and casually. Without merging and without awareness of the magnitude of what it is to do so, something not to be taken lightly. It filters from the moment it interacts with another.

Sx/so is kind of the mix of both. It has the insensitivity of so in approach to trying to merge with everything but it is also able to recognize how disappointing and "not it" that merging is. Sx/Sp is the most sensitive and most selective about merging so it doesn't do that.

Absolutely perfect.

 

[Red Memories]

also I want you to know I was suggesting a conjecture as I have heard some people find Sp or So unideal for reasons and I was stating how Sx appears to be the most idealized one to be therefore most people desire to be it.

I speak from an Sx stand point here. You don't want the feeling of just...seeking this...thing...you cannot find. Whether it be your life purpose or the soulmate of your being... I am worried you all think I am saying I- myself- feel So or Sp is selfish. I do not. I merely think people outside seem to find them selfish for whatever reason and in that sense all the variants are misunderstood. I am not singling them out as selfish. All can be selfish in their forms.

 

[cascadeco]

To answer the actual thread title, I dunno, to give the benefit of the doubt, maybe everyone who types as sx-dom IS sx-dom. I don't think it would be unheard of for sx-doms to hone in on psychology forums with a desire to find an uber-connection or more than one connection.

But it's definitely true sx is idealized, so I'm sure there are mistypes. But fwiw as a potential sx-last I can't tell you how many times I read so-last threads and relate to *almost everything*. I guarantee there will be lots of other sx-lasts who will relate to quite a lot of what's written in these threads, re not particularly liking group events, preferring 1:1, not belonging to or wanting to belong to any clubs or organizations, having an aversion to politics or team maneuverings/hierarchies, not wanting to be friends with or date 'just anyone',wanting to find people they really connect with, not wanting a bunch of acquaintances, not really loving chit chat, wanting a meaningful life, all of that stuff. So if all of this automatically makes one sx dom or aux, then that's that. But if it doesn't, then more than half of the problem is that everyone who IS sx dom or aux is writing of things that apply to sx-lasts too, and they're not actually talking about sx-dom or sx-aux.

 

[1487610420]

From what I have seen, it seems most people confuse what so is with what sx is.
So wants to merge with everyone and make a lot of connections. It feels connected to everyone. Merging is easy and frequent. It is very performative and knows how to play into the broader imagery of things like sexual appeal in a way sx/sp at least doesn't because it is social blind.
Sx is sensitive to connection. It's always looking for the connection, the soulmate or the one true love or true calling/passion or whatever . And it is the soulmate or whatever (because as I said it can also be about a calling or something else) as well. That is all it can be. It is the seeker, always yearning. It is filled with disappointment and it doesn't understand why no one fits most of the time or how people can so insensitively pursue others almost arbitrarily and casually. Without merging and without awareness of the magnitude of what it is to do so, something not to be taken lightly. It filters from the moment it interacts with another.

Sx/so is kind of the mix of both. It has the insensitivity of so in approach to trying to merge with everything but it is also able to recognize how disappointing and "not it" that merging is. Sx/Sp is the most sensitive and most selective about merging so it doesn't do that.

 

[Lady Lazarus]

Well, the non-cynical or not completely cynical version at least.

 

[Peter Deadpan]

Well, the non-cynical or not completely cynical version at least.

Ignore him.

 

[1487610420]

Well, the non-cynical or not completely cynical version at least.

what's that be

 

[Peter Deadpan]

Sp has a wall around it with windows and a locked door. It's observing the outside from within (even moreso for introverts and withdrawn e-types) and screens everyone before letting them in.

So has a permeable membrane in which the desire is equal flow in and out. It wants reciprocation so that it neither feels it's giving or taking too much, but rather that there is not too much pressure on either side of the membrane.

Sx has a magnetic shell with a positive and negative side. This shell is similar to a compass in that it seeks out a complimentary attraction, but unlike a compass, it's not fixed and can rotate at will, choosing to repel when desired.

Also, Sp and So are more common in general and that probably ties with the basic human needs of safety and community, so no... most forumers are not Sx.

 

[wolfnara]

Perhaps because they lack in one to one relationships with another person.

 

[Population: 1]

All the cool kids are sx first.

 

[Earl Grey]

I suppose I'll try to explain using my own dominant core as an example.

[MENTION=35920]Ixaerus[/MENTION] since tis was semi reply to your conjecture. XD

[...] also I want you to know I was suggesting a conjecture as I have heard some people find Sp or So unideal for reasons and I was stating how Sx appears to be the most idealized one to be therefore most people desire to be it.

Thanks for the addition. Unlike enneagram, there's no in-depth site for variants themselves which describe them in their negatives as well as positives.

I do not see them as unideal on their own. But I consciously reject / do not value sx for myself. To clarify; I do not see it as bad, but I do not see its negatives as being worth the positives, and I do not see the positivies as desirable or a priority in any way.

I speak from an Sx stand point here. You don't want the feeling of just...seeking this...thing...you cannot find. Whether it be your life purpose or the soulmate of your being... I am worried you all think I am saying I- myself- feel So or Sp is selfish. I do not. I merely think people outside seem to find them selfish for whatever reason and in that sense all the variants are misunderstood. I am not singling them out as selfish. All can be selfish in their forms.

I understand. You are not wrong, my post was 'conjecture' in the sense that I used my own information as a hypothesis of how variants behaved, accurate or not; however, it is not a conjecture in the sense of wanting to spread misinformation, thus I thank you for adding information for us to read and expanding on my post. That is the purpose of this forum.

As for not wanting that feeling, I'm not sure. All variants, like other things, have their negatives and positives. I am spared the pain of that kind of seeking, but at the same time I am void of intimate relationships and everything else that makes sx desirable.

 

[rav3n]

From what I've observed, too many confuse sx with sexuality.

 

[Venus Rose]

I don't know, I am someone who wants to give people benefit of the doubt, so I don't automatically assume mistype (referring to comments saying SX doms might appear more common than they are). Here's the thing though, enneagram is not based on some sort of exact science, and what it talks about with the three different instincts (in reality I am sure we, as human beings, have several behaviors that would qualify as intincts, maybe even as a sort of sub-category of these enneagram 'instincts') is extremely human. As it concerns SX, everyone is concerned with attraction and mating and such things, and everyone has insecurities around it, feels extremely heartbroken over romantic/sexual rejection etc. It's all human. Same for the other two instincts.

I do think that those drawn to communities such as these are intelligent and passionate to begin with. And I think those that are outspoken and passionate may get more attention, giving the false impression that such individuals are more common than they actually are. It's just that they give off a strong impression and we remember them. A lot of people can in fact be passionate, but SX-types are likely to engage in the same thing (this forum for instance) or any topic for very long periods of time, in a fully immersed and captivated way, which may be also why you might see a lot of them.

 

[Metis]

Because we don't want to pester the people we want to "bond" with IRL?

 

[Avocado]

I don't know, I am someone who wants to give people benefit of the doubt, so I don't automatically assume mistype (referring to comments saying SX doms might appear more common than they are). Here's the thing though, enneagram is not based on some sort of exact science, and what it talks about with the three different instincts (in reality I am sure we, as human beings, have several behaviors that would qualify as intincts, maybe even as a sort of sub-category of these enneagram 'instincts') is extremely human. As it concerns SX, everyone is concerned with attraction and mating and such things, and everyone has insecurities around it, feels extremely heartbroken over romantic/sexual rejection etc. It's all human. Same for the other two instincts.

I do think that those drawn to communities such as these are intelligent and passionate to begin with. And I think those that are outspoken and passionate may get more attention, giving the false impression that such individuals are more common than they actually are. It's just that they give off a strong impression and we remember them. A lot of people can in fact be passionate, but SX-types are likely to engage in the same thing (this forum for instance) or any topic for very long periods of time, in a fully immersed and captivated way, which may be also why you might see a lot of them.

I still wonder if I’m Sp/Sx or Sp/So...Sp is such an overwhelmingly important thing to me it overshadows the other two.

 

[Mind Maverick]

Just like 4's, and just like INFJ's. A lot of people are mistyped as them. If someone claims to be INFJ 4w5 sx-dom on an internet forum, I call bullshit until very much proven otherwise.

Agreed on the fact that many mistype as Sx Dom, but INTJ seems like a more common mistype than INFJ IME, same with 5s rather than 4s.

 

[Venus Rose]

I still wonder if I’m Sp/Sx or Sp/So...Sp is such an overwhelmingly important thing to me it overshadows the other two.

Why do you think So over Sx? Conversely, what about Sx, over So?

 

[Avocado]

Why do you think So over Sx? Conversely, what about Sx, over So?

The same answer for both—I employ the tactic most likely to enhance my comfort, security, and material wellbeing, and it is situational.

 

[Froody Blue Gem]

I have heard that sx is the least common stacking so I am guessing that they are more common on the internet, as Ns are. Sx is also a variant many people want to be especially those new to instincts/the enneagram so that could have something to do with it too. It is possible there are mistypes but there is some weight to them being more common in internetworld than in day-to-day encounters.

Sxes want to connect, weather that be with another person or an activity. I suppose they would jump down the rabbit hole with their intense interest. From my experience, those blind to sx can potentially develop in-depth hobbies and obsess but just throwing that in the hat because that is one thing associated with sxes that could be a reason why so many people type that way within the community. They seek out to find people who they find interesting.