Friendly Loners?

[sciski]

What is it when you like the ambiance of people but you get really mad when they try to talk to you?

In need of the Cone of Silence?

 

[Haphazard]

The Unfriendly Loner. I'm sorry.

Aww...

My bad mood doesn't start until someone's dumb enough to open their mouth.

For friendly loners: INFJ, INTP, ISFP. I would say ISFJ but they usually aren't very much 'loners,' actually.

 

[aguanile]

I have been called a loner before. And I do like being alone, but I always attributed that to being the only child.

I also love being with friends as well. I would prefer being with friends over being alone. But I would prefer being alone to having to make small talk with strangers or acquaintances even.

Yeah that's the order:

Friends
Alone
Strangers/Acquaintances

I am an ISTP, btw.

For me, I just get bored easily when people (strangers or people i am not interested in knowing) small talk. It sounds snobbish (and I don't mean to be). I try to look interested and I am always polite. But I am sure people can see that I am really thinking, "I would rather be doing something else right now."

Guess I am the Unfriendly Loner.

 

[nolla]

Yes, I am a friendly loner. I have this order too:

Yeah that's the order:

Friends
Alone
Strangers/Acquaintances

 

[Mondo]

I'm not sure if you can relate, but I think there is a misconception that Extroversion is conducive with a constant need to be around people. Instead I argue that Extroversion means deriving and expressing ideas for, and within an observable reality.

I would agree with this.

A reason why I brought this up is actually because I know a lot of Introverts (IXFX types especially) who seem to strongly dislike the idea of being independent and truly alone.
However, the reason why I would call them Introverts is because they are very selective about who they hang out with. They do not treat all people the same but rather are extremely open with their friends and extremely reserved around strangers. These are not people you think of when you describe a loner.
Something else I noticed is that Introverts do everything in their power to not engage in group conversations. I have some Introverted friends and I often find if we all get together that it turns into many one-on-one conversations happening at once- no one else seems to care about what the others have to say but rather what is going on in the specific conversation. I thought I was simply less socially assertive than many of the Introverts I know but I simply see that it is more so a desire to have less people in a conversation as possible..

I would say that Extraverts would get more pleasure from leading others and making things happen than Introverts.

My closest friends in college are probably those of my fraternity but besides that I have a lot of acquaintances here and there who I talked to on a regular basis last year and still see some of them often. They don't know much about me but we can talk about a wide range of topics with ease.
I'm scared of intimacy and don't think I can ever actually achieve the overpowering intimacy that many others take pleasure in.

 

[ZiL]

I'm the friendliest loner I know. I'm not very lonely or "alone" per se, I just don't feel very attached to more than a couple people. To others, I'm friendly, but only to a point, as a way of drawing invisible boundaries. I don't feel the need to become extremely close to many people, though I like having options.

 

[Hang]

Hmmm... INFJ, INFP, INTP

 

[Lexlike]

It's me

I generally like to be alone, but when I am with people I love and trust, I'm friendly and fun.

My friend Sean was actually disappointed that I didn't want to become a primary school teacher.

I know myself better, thankfully.

and which career did you actually pursuit??

 

[colmena]

and which career did you actually pursuit??

Well hello fellow X.

It might come as no surprise to you that I didn't pursue an actual career.

I've recently wanted to become an Occupational Therapist, but the Holland Code thing seems to think I'd be fucking mental to do that.


So I'm teetering between that and anything that might drastically alter my personality/fix anxieties.

(How about you? Any life success at your end?)

 

[Lexlike]

well, now i´m doing now social service in a home for handicapped people (instead of military service ) ... i study law and will propably try to finish it... still very unsure if its the right path i have chosen, anyway i´m a good planner but not a great finisher i would say ( but i have to learn to finish...)... do you think law is good for such INxP types like
us?
back to the topic: not so surprisingly i m a friendly loner too ... its quiet interesting that people often see/ judge or percieve me in very different ways: from egoistic, lazy, unfocused, (socially akward propably too) to a deep, intelligent person...
but yesterday at this home where i "work" there was a 5- year old child from a therapist. At the end of the day the child seemed was really bound to me and liked my friendlyness. The day after his mother told me that her child is bullied because of his darker skin colour and he is always searching for friendly people with whom he can become friends...

 

[Mondo]

My theory was that ET types would be considered the friendly loners.. however, it seems that it is mostly NP types that are calling themselves out.

That makes sense.. Ne makes a person interested in the outside world but so focused on ideas that the person can gain satisfaction from being alone.. this is likely why the ENXP types are considered the introverted extraverts and INXP types with good use of Ne feel the same way.

A probable exception to the rule is the INFJ.

 

[The_Liquid_Laser]

My theory was that ET types would be considered the friendly loners.. however, it seems that it is mostly NP types that are calling themselves out.

That makes sense.. Ne makes a person interested in the outside world but so focused on ideas that the person can gain satisfaction from being alone.. this is likely why the ENXP types are considered the introverted extraverts and INXP types with good use of Ne feel the same way.

A probable exception to the rule is the INFJ.

INFJ's are a bit different. The other friendly loners are friendly because they actually like you. The INFJ is often just being polite, but you aren't supposed to know that.

 

[colmena]

well, now i´m doing now social service in a home for handicapped people

How are you getting on with this? Obviously it sounds not dissimilar to Occupational Therapy, so your take on it interests me. I suspect it's difficult not to derive a sense of satisfaction from altruistic work, but do you enjoy the day-to-day stuff?

i study law and will propably try to finish it... still very unsure if its the right path i have chosen, anyway i´m a good planner but not a great finisher i would say ( but i have to learn to finish...)... do you think law is good for such INxP types like
us?

Well I have a passionately love of justice, and a love to be impassioned by injustice; that mixed with an investigative personality, a good memory bank when required, and a playfulness with words makes law sound very appealing. If you can get through the procrastination, and not give up when it comes to what seems as trivial information - I think it could be almost perfect.

not so surprisingly i m a friendly loner too ... its quiet interesting that people often see/ judge or percieve me in very different ways: from egoistic, lazy, unfocused, (socially akward propably too) to a deep, intelligent person...

Oh my, same here! I think it's because I respond to people differently, and I like to compensate in social situations (if no one's quiet - I'm quiet, if no one's loud, I'm loud etc.). I come into my own one-on-one with someone I care about, trust, and respect.

but yesterday at this home where i "work" there was a 5- year old child from a therapist. At the end of the day the child seemed was really bound to me and liked my friendlyness. The day after his mother told me that her child is bullied because of his darker skin colour and he is always searching for friendly people with whom he can become friends...

Aww. I bet he relishes coming to see you. I have a second cousin called Lewis (the little one in my profile picture), apparently he talks about me a lot despite seeing me only once a year. It's interesting how the inxp might come into it: I get an almost self-actualising satisfaction out of being a positive influence, but I do this mainly through teaching; helping him to see the world in a more complex light, enjoying music together, etc. But I appreciate my cousins most for bringing out my sense of play, something which is natural to me, but is suppressed.

Perhaps I would be best off working with children, just so long as I could return to solitude at the end of the day (even though that sounds a little judgmental and sucky to me, I guess it would be my way of keeping up my professionalism and being the best I can be). I do know that you can branch off into pediatrics from Occupational Therapy, though, and Horticultural Therapist sound nice, too.

 

[LucrativeSid]

I'm a loner, and it's not something I've ever been ashamed of. Even though I'm a loner, I'm still pretty "cool" whenever I'm around people. One more to fit your theory.

 

[Venom]

I'm a loner, and it's not something I've ever been ashamed of. Even though I'm a loner, I'm still pretty "cool" whenever I'm around people. One more to fit your theory.

we've been seeing lots of ENTPs in this thread! the intoverted extrovert is a term i often hear for ENXPs

 

[Kristiana]

I'd fit that description pretty well.

 

[Ghost of the dead horse]

What types would be considered 'friendly loners'?

This is what I think I am.

I am nice and friendly with others and enjoy companionship BUT I have trouble with intimacy and definitely am my own drummer. I strongly believe in being independent and that sort of makes me aloof around others. I am the guy that knows everyone on campus but only a few people really well.

As with most things ENTP say, I can say this applies to me almost totally, except for the bolded part.

On a side note, MBTIcentral have been extremely helpful in letting me find my type by the virtue of like-minded people, esp. ENTP.

So like-minded, I wonder how I've ever thought to have been another type.

 

[ygolo]

I think most people are friendly. Many people are loners too.

So I would say ISJs are the most likely friendly loner since they are the highest percentage introverts.