Bullying

[Mole]

China is our biggest trading partner and we have learnt from long experience that China is a bully.

The important thing we have learnt is not to respond emotionally to Chinese bullying which interestingly is mainly rhetoric, instead we calmly stand up to Chinese bullying.

And the Chinese don't just bully us, they specifically and openly bullying countries around them that are smaller than China.

China bullies the Philippines, Vietnam, Japan, Malaysia, Indonesia, Brunei, and Taiwan. When they get away with it, they just increase the bullying.

As I write China is forming an alliance with Russia, who is engaged in bullying the Ukraine - those who bully together, stay together.

Unfortunately narcissists only see personal bullying and are blind to State bullying.

 

[misfortuneteller]

i was bullied and then i became a bully.

 

[MisteurFox]

I hear ya, substitute. I've went through extreme bullying as well and even years later I'm still suffering from it. School was dumb and told me they'd stop if I didn't react. Clearly they just wanted me to suffer through it and save themselves trouble instead of actually dealing with it.

I can say from experience that, sadly, the people who bully enter a closed mindset and only fighting back will result in any kind of progress for you. I remember this kid who wouldn't stop bullying me all the way from junior to high school. The day I lost my temper and pretty much demolished his face is when he completely and utterly stopped. It's sadly the only way that works. There's no talking sense into them because they don't care about authority, common sense or other people's feelings. They only care about themselves... make them realize their own well-being might be in danger if they keep up and they'll stop. I know it's not ideal but if I have ever have kids and they're bullied, I'll tell them to fight back the hardest they can. There's no way in hell I'll tell them to suck it up and accept the unacceptable.

 

[Crabs]

Stop the bullying.

 

[FemMecha]

I experienced some of the passive-aggressive female game playing style bullying, but the worst was seeing my brother get bullied over the years. It makes me less tolerant of behaviors that smack of bullying. I'm not sure how to reach a bully, either.

I can see the problem with labeling children as "bullies" because then it becomes their identity. Giving a child who bullies the opportunity to do something kind and helpful to create a new identity could be effective if done correctly. People learn a sense of empowerment from being kind and helpful rather than from dominating and hurting others. It comes down to identity and empowerment.

 

[Yuurei]

I was bullied in school a lot. All of it was for things I couldn't help.

The kids bullied me because I was pigeon/toed ( my left knee did not grow properly so it turned inward) the teachers and students both made fun of me because the medicine I had to take gave me really bad breath. They mistook it for poir hygeine. When I entered the room everyone would yell at the teacher to open a window and the teacher would agree. The bus ride home was hell because of the same window nonsense, plus the kids would shove me off the seats and I had to sit on the ground...and then kicked.

The teachers told me and everyone else that I was just a bad/lazy kid when the truth is that my medicatin made me very sick all day and I couldn't concentrate.
For me fighting back didn't help. It was the only time teachers paid any attention to me and only further convinved that I was the problem.

I'm a confident adult now. I know a lot of people who were used to be bullied who now have stable jobs and many friends yet they live in the past, obssesed with thier bullies and getting back at them. Whenever I ask why they're so mopey it's because " I was bullied in school." ( they're all in thier late 30's)
Poor pitiful things. I may not have what they do, but I've already gotten my revenge; I can't remember a single one of those bullies name's.

 

[geedoenfj]

I was bullied in school a lot. All of it was for things I couldn't help.

The kids bullied me because I was pigeon/toec ( my left kneedid not grow right so it turned in) the teachers and students both made fun of me because the medicine I had to take gave me really bad breath.

The teachers told me and everyone else that I was just a bad/laxy kid when the truth is that my medicatin made me very sick all day and I couldn't concentrate.
For me fighting back d id 't help. It was the only time teachers paid any attention to me and only further convinved that I was the problem.

I'm a confident adult now. I know a lot of people who were used to be bullied but now have stable jobs and many friends yet they live in the past, obssesed with thier nullies and getting back at them. Poor pitiful things. I've already gotten my revenge; in that I can't remember a single one of thier named.

Respect!!

I believe these grudges and anger are a burden on whoever is holding them against others, it's punishing myself for what others have done to me..
forgiveness frees the person from that burden and help them to start to cure from their wounds..

 

[Poki]

I had a couple people try and bully me. I was a crazy skinny nerd in school. Quiet, kept to myself. The verbal bullying rolled off. It really had a mix of reactions and i used it to judge the people aroind me and not myself. It helps me guide my way through life in regard to good people vs shitty people. Couple physical bully, but i responded in like kind. Not out of anger, but just like physical response. It never escalated beyond the first attempt to bully. I guess they realized it didnt emotionally affect me and it wouldnt go where they want.

There were a few things when i was in first second grade that bothered me, but it wasnt intentional bully, it was ignorant bully which can be just as bad. But i judge person as ignorant and not purposeful. For the most part 99.999% of the time i could careless and i have a natural inclination to consider what i want to do about it. The world has assholes and bullies, you cant take them all on, so unless its big enough in my opinion i ignore.

 

[LightSun]

Bullying: Why is there no stopping bullying in the schools? How is bullying in actuality created?blessblessWho has the responsibility of stopping bullying; education or parenting? What is the benefit of having a third party involved?

 

[Coriolis]

Bullying: Why is there no stopping bullying in the schools? How is bullying in actuality created?blessblessWho has the responsibility of stopping bullying; education or parenting? What is the benefit of having a third party involved?

Everyone is responsible: parents, educators, bystanders, even the victims themselves.

I have read that one of the biggest factors in getting a bully to back down is bystander intervention: the "good man" who does something, so bullying won't flourish.

 

[LightSun]

Everyone is responsible: parents, educators, bystanders, even the victims themselves.

I have read that one of the biggest factors in getting a bully to back down is bystander intervention: the "good man" who does something, so bullying won't flourish.

One of the things I've noticed is the human species has a propensity to compare oneself with others and also judge accordingly according to their frame of reference. Why do we poke fun as adults on late night television to people or celebrities who have the misfortune to making a mistake? I don't find funny the emotional travails of another nor their mistakes in life. As adults we carry on the legacy as children poking fun at their peers by this continuing to laugh at another's misfortune.

 

[LightSun]

I experienced some of the passive-aggressive female game playing style bullying, but the worst was seeing my brother get bullied over the years. It makes me less tolerant of behaviors that smack of bullying. I'm not sure how to reach a bully, either.

I can see the problem with labeling children as "bullies" because then it becomes their identity. Giving a child who bullies the opportunity to do something kind and helpful to create a new identity could be effective if done correctly. People learn a sense of empowerment from being kind and helpful rather than from dominating and hurting others. It comes down to identity and empowerment.

(1) “...experienced… passive-aggressive female game playing style bullying…” “...brother get bullied over… years…” “… less tolerant of behaviors … smack …bullying.”

I too am sensitive to the plight of others.

(2) “... child who bullies the opportunity to do something kind and helpful to create a new identity could be effective if done correctly. “

“... learn a sense of empowerment from being kind and helpful rather than from dominating and hurting others. “

I have advocated empathy skill sets being part of our school curriculum. I envision a type homeroom class where there is a round circle of peers discussing what happened and how it makes them feel in a safe environment. Then the offending party can hear the result of their actions and impact on another human being.

 

[theflame]

Do you have any rules about people that were banned from other forums to follow me here to cause the same type of trouble? I have some people who bothered me at Perc and I came here thinking it would be better to post here and it has been...until they came here, too and are viewing all of my threads and being nosy in my business just as they were on Perc. They're only here because they were banned from that other forum as well for their snark.

 

[rav3n]

Where's the line between learned helplessness and being bullied?

 

[Lark]

Do you have any rules about people that were banned from other forums to follow me here to cause the same type of trouble? I have some people who bothered me at Perc and I came here thinking it would be better to post here and it has been...until they came here, too and are viewing all of my threads and being nosy in my business just as they were on Perc. They're only here because they were banned from that other forum as well for their snark.

I'd say communicate it to the mods and they'll keep an eye on it, they like to police stuff like that in my experience, I only ever felt fobbed off once and it wasnt repeated. Which is good.

To be honest most of the people who prove to be a nuisance or menace to one person are not long before they are to everyone, in my experience you put them on ignore and wait, its not long before they get banned, only known one or two of them not to go that direction.

 

[Lark]

Where's the line between learned helplessness and being bullied?

Its a good question, maybe, depending on the implication, I dont think that someone's vulnerability to bullying should have any sort of baring upon the actions of the bully, they can choose their targets well a lot of the time, but its the bully that's the problem anywhere and always not the people they've choose to victimise.

 

[rav3n]

Its a good question, maybe, depending on the implication, I dont think that someone's vulnerability to bullying should have any sort of baring upon the actions of the bully, they can choose their targets well a lot of the time, but its the bully that's the problem anywhere and always not the people they've choose to victimise.

What's the distinction between disagreement/debate and bullying?

 

[Lark]

What's the distinction between disagreement/debate and bullying?

What would you say it is because it obvious to me and I guess you are suggesting with this question that it is less clear.

Edit: I also wanted to say that equating being a target for a bully with learned helplessness seems like the worst sort of victim blaming.

 

[rav3n]

What would you say it is because it obvious to me and I guess you are suggesting with this question that it is less clear.

Edit: I also wanted to say that equating being a target for a bully with learned helplessness seems like the worst sort of victim blaming.

Since it's obvious and clear to you, can you define it for me?

 

[theflame]

I'd say communicate it to the mods and they'll keep an eye on it, they like to police stuff like that in my experience, I only ever felt fobbed off once and it wasnt repeated. Which is good.

To be honest most of the people who prove to be a nuisance or menace to one person are not long before they are to everyone, in my experience you put them on ignore and wait, its not long before they get banned, only known one or two of them not to go that direction.

She made one or two posts toward me here, but has luckily backed off and isn't as annoying as she was on Perc, but she's still viewing all of my threads as I type this and I just find it creepy how she was banned from the other place only to come here and still sort of indirectly start crap with me and to still view all of the posts that I make here as well...I've told one or two posters who I'm talking about that certain people aren't as they appear or they aren't as "nice" as they try to act here and have showed people their alternate personalities on Perc. I put it in private feedback about my situation but wasn't sure if the mods saw it or not.

It's like I can't make any posts now talking about my relationship stuff because I know she'll be viewing it like she views all of my threads. Doesn't even contribute anything to the threads I make, just views them and starts drama with her posts. It would be one thing if she was viewing my threads to have some helpful input but so far that's not the case here with her. She's just viewing all of my threads to be nosy.