Crazy people and MBTI[c]

[nolla]

don't suppose you'd care to elaborate?

Well, you say you consider that you might meet people who you talk to online and actually do meet a lot of them. I don't see myself considering meeting someone like that. RL, it's different since I see the person and the attitudes and such, so I tend to trust to almost anyone (if they dont seem weird or angry or something). Online I don't trust to people the same way. I kinda trust the anonymity here. I can say things I normally wouldn't, but I haven't thought about meeting anyone, or considering everyone a potential friend.

It is these two categories. The one is good for certain stuff and I don't expect more of it. Reading your post made me think of how artificial the line between them is. I just hadnt thought about it.

 

[substitute]

Wow, far out. Yeah, another world!

 

[entropie]

I make no difference between RL and chat. There is that great difference given through the lack of all interpersonal things but I try to compensate.

I am here to understand the MBTI better, because I am not a psychic and not to inclined with medical matters.

There are quite a few people here, I have grown to like. Hardly know someone I can say I dislike in this forum.

The main flaw of MBTI is that categorizing thing. It is not illogical that you can characterize people. But doing so, puts em down. It can when done to hard, destroy the very nature of an overall sane human being from the start.

There is input granted on the forums. Due to there are only 4 functions, you can relate nearly every input to yourself. Input is subjective. And it is drawn from sources beyond ones own comprehension.

I like to chat. Then chat develops. After chat has developed, a possible point comes when you can dig deeper into some things. And if even that third step is crossed, then everything is possible.

But I do not give my heart away tto just anyone.

 

[nolla]

Well, to me it just isn't what I do. I guess it creeps me that I don't know really ANYTHING about the person. When I look at people on the street I see a lot more stuff that says to me something about the person than the stuff I can get through just text.

 

[entropie]

agreed

 

[substitute]

agreed but with reservations - people can often be wrong in their judgement of another person's character. Just because you THINK you can see things about a person when you meet them face to face, doesn't mean you're necessarily right, just like the things you think you learn about a person through the internet aren't necessarily wrong just because you've no physical cues to back it up.

take my mom for example, who is happy to let someone move into her house as a lodger on the basis that when she meets them, they 'seem nice'. Yet she's an appalling judge of character, and has been taken in so many times it's not funny, by someone who's clean and tidy, well-spoken and polite and composed generally in person, and later turned out to be an asshole (wife beater in fact, on two counts - not beaten her I mean, but their own wives that they'd recently left). She'd be much better off IMO, interviewing these people online first so that she can get an idea of their personality without that 'nice appearance' to fool her.

a person's words and behaviour over a longer period of time in an online community can tell you more, and be more reliable (cos it's there in black and white and can't be glossed over or pretended it was otherwise later, like verbal communications), a greater sample if you will, than that intuitive once-over that we NP's are prone to relying too much on sometimes, IMO. And worse, people whose Ne isn't even very good

 

[cascadeco]

I think most people who are drawn to personality/psychology stuff, and specifically forums, are those who have felt 'different' enough growing up, or have had issues relating with and communicating with others, that they have looked into possible reasons why. So I think everyone on some level has or has had issues with dealing with some element of the real world and real-world interaction. Pick an element, any element. I think otherwise most of us wouldn't be on here and we'd all be living completely in the real-world, doing tangible things with real people and accomplishing things 'out there'. I know I'm one of the only one of my friends who does stuff like internet foruming (and most of my friends are N's, so it's not an N-specific thing..well duh, obviously, since we have S's on this forum!! - and I think there's a reason for that.

To be honest I think I've been drawn to internet forums over the years mostly because of social anxiety -- it's simply easier. But also, for me, I think it's in a sense an excuse - and it's one reason I try to minimize my time on here. I'll hop on the non-PC wagon and say I've thought off and on that a site such as this would tend to retain a much higher % of those with personality disorders than would be found in a non-net/non-personality-interest-specific sampling.

 

[Jeffster]

I dunno casca, I think I was drawn to it very coincidentally. I wasn't really looking for communication tips. But now that I've read all this stuff, when i get the opportunity to introduce the whole concept to people, and hit them with the real life application of it for real people they know or celebrities or athletes or whatever, its a frickin RUSH, I'm all fired up I'm like opening people's minds up and stuff. It's awesome, my body temp is rising just thinking about it!

 

[cascadeco]

I dunno casca, I think I was drawn to it very coincidentally. I wasn't really looking for communication tips. But now that I've read all this stuff, when i get the opportunity to introduce the whole concept to people, and hit them with the real life application of it for real people they know or celebrities or athletes or whatever, its a frickin RUSH, I'm all fired up I'm like opening people's minds up and stuff. It's awesome, my body temp is rising just thinking about it!

Yeah, I'm not saying it applies to everyone!! And I agree it's kinda fun to segue the topic into the real world - I've done it myself, and people can respond to it pretty well!

But I still stand by some of my general statements...

 

[nolla]

Just because you THINK you can see things about a person when you meet them face to face, doesn't mean you're necessarily right, just like the things you think you learn about a person through the internet aren't necessarily wrong just because you've no physical cues to back it up.

Yeah, you are right, but it does really affect my trust in the person, so it is very real difference to me. For example, If I had met you in person somewhere and though you are nice enough, you could be around here and call if you need a place to crash, and this would be based on few hours of us hanging out. You get a sofa and I will sleep tight. So that's me trusting some stranger who I met at some lets-get-drunk-and-throw-up-a-lot festival. It'd be a whole different case if I only know your name online...

a person's words and behaviour over a longer period of time in an online community can tell you more, and be more reliable (cos it's there in black and white and can't be glossed over or pretended it was otherwise later, like verbal communications), a greater sample if you will, than that intuitive once-over that we NP's are prone to relying too much on sometimes, IMO. And worse, people whose Ne isn't even very good

This is so not me... I guess I pay a lot of attention into the observing. I don't see myself going through threads for clues into someones lies.

 

[Jeffster]

Yeah, I'm not saying it applies to everyone!! And I agree it's kinda fun to segue the topic into the real world - I've done it myself, and people can respond to it pretty well!

But I still stand by some of my general statements...

Hey, rock on. Don't just stand by 'em, point to em with both hands and say "YEAH!!"

 

[nolla]

I dunno casca, I think I was drawn to it very coincidentally. I wasn't really looking for communication tips. But now that I've read all this stuff, when i get the opportunity to introduce the whole concept to people, and hit them with the real life application of it for real people they know or celebrities or athletes or whatever, its a frickin RUSH, I'm all fired up I'm like opening people's minds up and stuff. It's awesome, my body temp is rising just thinking about it!

Yeah, I remember when I was going on about self-actualization (they don't teach it around here, have to order the book from U.S.) Its nice to get people so hyped about self-improvement

 

[substitute]

This is so not me... I guess I pay a lot of attention into the observing. I don't see myself going through threads for clues into someones lies.

well no, I don't either!! I just mean that over a period of time you get to know someone and any inconsistencies in their behaviour start to show up, you don't have to be looking for them.

By the way I also put up strangers in my house too and I base the trust on my intuitive grasp of their character too. But my criteria are very different from my mom's (ESFJ) and yet she's been conned and tricked many times and I've never had any serious problems. I mean I've put up bums and alcoholics and drug dealers in my house that she was horrified about, certain they'd axe murder the kids in the night or something but I was totally confident they could be trusted, these particular individuals, and I was vindicated every time. And yet she goes through agencies and gets references and looks at resumes and interviews and all that malarky, and yet has a track record of about 70% lemons!!

I think sometimes people focus on obvious criteria that aren't necessarily as helpful as they think they are - things like always telling the truth about stuff like your name, your background or whatever or looking you in the eye - I don't think these things tell you whether a person will physically harm you or not, or whether they'll steal from you or not, or gradually manipulate you like a psychopath or whatever. They just tell you whether they're easy to understand or not. A person not being easy to understand doesn't make them a bad person in my book. I'm willing to put in the effort to understand a person... some people are happier to write off 'complicated' people as dishonest somehow because well, maybe they don't see why they should make the effort to understand why a person might feel the need to hide parts of themselves.

So many of the people I've met who've been written off by society as being untrustworthy have turned out to be the best, most supportive and sincere friends I've had... I've learned not to base my trust on conventional 'checklists'.

I guess we all pick the risks we're willing to live with and go with it

 

[entropie]

agreed but with reservations - people can often be wrong in their judgement of another person's character. Just because you THINK you can see things about a person when you meet them face to face, doesn't mean you're necessarily right, just like the things you think you learn about a person through the internet aren't necessarily wrong just because you've no physical cues to back it up.

If I am allowed to make a asumption at this point, I think you do think like I think, but I thought this way some time ago.

I definitely understand the point that it is important to show people the fine line of conversation. That means to bring them near that you can talk about anything, as long as they try to speak your language until some very easy reachable point. That means that they show, they respect you and when you speak to them that they respect your feelings to some extent and after that the conversation can become really nasty in all sorts of intellectual ways, it was just important for you to know, they do respect you.

There is the other thing, you see something is going wrong and you want to share your view with other people. But they cant grasp what you are talking about. The thing is they do grasp it sometimes, but you are not satisfied. You need them to know what you FEEL.

----

Like 5 years ago or so I was that real bad gothic. Not emo, we gothics used knives to kill other people, not ourselves. I was trapped in a constant wish to make anyone understand what I think. Cause this is what ENTP's do. We make other people believe.

Imagine that ability. Not working right. You want to show other people just this little tap on the back what makes them see that their partner in conversation has just the same feelings as they do. Why would you do that ? Why would you try to change someone ?

Why do you have the idea of turning anyone towards the mysery that you are facing.

Over the years I eventually came to recognize the fact that in most times, I made a problem, it was me having problems. Today I cant tell, I am free of problems, but my behaviour in society has grown more adult. I have accepted the fact that there are different worlds out there and I have started to point my intrests into exploring them.

For, if you know the foreign world and if you speak its language, then you finally can relate to the things you really wanted to say.

 

[nolla]

I mean I've put up bums and alcoholics and drug dealers in my house that she was horrified about, certain they'd axe murder the kids in the night or something but I was totally confident they could be trusted, these particular individuals, and I was vindicated every time. And yet she goes through agencies and gets references and looks at resumes and interviews and all that malarky, and yet has a track record of about 70% lemons!!

So many of the people I've met who've been written off by society as being untrustworthy have turned out to be the best, most supportive and sincere friends I've had... I've learned not to base my trust on conventional 'checklists'.

I don't really "know" what is it that makes someone trustworthy in my books. I guess it is some feeling. Sometimes it is a feeling of coldness in their persona, sometimes I just dont like them. Its not like I have a formula for this...

 

[Metis]

...

 

[entropie]

THAT...

was...

....

I wont comment on this, to proud for that, I am out

 

[entropie]

You are SO out !!!

*turning the back towards bad of may*

 

[Metis]

Um, really? Just for coming on to you?

Damn.

 

[entropie]

You could post something about startrek.