Snickie types an average of probably 70wpm

[existence]

I think you're a SLI for soiconics. You clearly have very very strong Si.

A bit overanalytical for an SLI.

 

[existence]

I happen to love writing about my personality and then never posting it, and then feeling frantic because I want someone besides myself to read it and reassure me that I'm a normal human being, and ending up stripping the post and rewording it to make it sound like I really am a normal human being because while I want people to know me, I don't really want them to know me. I'm a walking bag of bones and contradictions.

The only way I can talk to strangers comfortably is when I'm rambling about something I'm very knowledgeable and passionate about in a casual setting (ask me to write and give a speech on it, however, and I will mess up every time). I don't like large crowds although I have no problem performing clarinet in front of them in a recital-type setting. When interacting closely with anyone I don't really know very well I need a "mediator", someone I know and trust, to keep me grounded. One-on-one interactions are great when I'm comfortable with the other person, but I'm okay with being around two others if I'm comfortable around both of them and they're not fighting or anything. In case you can't tell I'm quite introverted and have some social anxiety.

I'm ridiculously detail-oriented, often to the point of perfectionism, and this inhibits my executive function sometimes. I have a hard time starting and finishing... well, anything, really. Essays, presentations, compositions, practice sessions, outlines, cooking, crochet, cleaning my room... unless of course I have a pattern or a schedule to follow. Then if the pattern is inefficient in some way I obsess over fixing the pattern itself. I procrastinate if the task seems too daunting or undesirable. If it's bad enough I'll even do something else that's on the daunting-but-not-as-daunting list. One time I had a presentation due and I was pulling an all-nighter to finish it and I got distracted by the room, so at 4am I was cleaning and organizing everything on my side. I fell asleep afterwards and ended up not finishing it the way I wanted it to be finished. When I get started on something it's easy for me to hyperfocus and be overly meticulous. Recently I organized my T-shirt drawers. Everything got refolded, stacked according to size and content, and neatly stacked in my closet. It's kind of ridiculous.

I am normally a good student though. I'm pretty good at absorbing information, although I often have a hard time seeing the forest for the trees. I can regurgitate information but it's difficult to apply it to projects...

I'm also incredibly lazy. I'm that person who wonders why she has to make the bed if she's just going to get back in it and would rather watch a movie with commercials than get up to put it in the DVD player. (Besides, commercial breaks are convenient snack and bathroom breaks lol.)

Emotionally, I don't even know what I am. I have a very hard time feeling without making myself feel. The most natural feelings I get are agitation, mild humor, and obsession. I know I become obsessed easily so I try to avoid things I think I'd obsess over. Sadly it hasn't worked.... Star Trek has taken over my life in the past month and it's [name]'s fault. lol I warned her that's what was going to happen! Now I'm offtopic and I'm at a loss of where else to go with this paragraph. I guess I should say that I relate better to my cats than I do my own parents. My relationship with my dad is basically we sit in the same room and ignore each other but it's great.

So, uh, yeah.

That's my personality in a grossly oversized nutshell.
Everything up there still holds true except my current media obsession is Steven Universe instead of Star Trek.

About making the bed, pretty typical INTP reasoning. A lot of the rest is INTP and/or asperger-ish traits. And yes, in Socionics quite some focus on Si, I can understand why you are looking at the SLI option but the focus can be explained by Si HA of LII just fine. A question to determine that, how confident are you in sensing your physical states? How easily do you figure out what you are feeling in a Si sense and what caused you to feel that sensation?

Even the Reinin dichotomies match my views more than the LII. My biggest concern is Socionics Ti vs Te, though there's probably some bias thrown in from their MBTI quasi-counterparts.

Reinin is not valid.

What is the issue with Socionics Ti? Please say more on this.

 

[existence]

Back. What I've seen with the ISTJ type is a "What? Me worry?" attitude about things such as finals exams. Not stress.

ISTJ is Socionics LSI. Not Si-base there.

 

[Snickie]

A bit overanalytical for an SLI.

(Jk. ....sort of.)

About making the bed, pretty typical INTP reasoning. A lot of the rest is INTP and/or asperger-ish traits. And yes, in Socionics quite some focus on Si, I can understand why you are looking at the SLI option but the focus can be explained by Si HA of LII just fine. A question to determine that, how confident are you in sensing your physical states? How easily do you figure out what you are feeling in a Si sense and what caused you to feel that sensation?

I should mention I wrote that blurb back when my understanding of MBTI was really only dichotomies and I was also deep into my Asperger's obsession.

Well I know I have a little bit of nerve crosswiring because I noticed that scratching a very specific spot on my thigh caused a very specific spot on my torso just under the ribs to.... feel like someone was poking me lightly there with a needle, and the sensation doesn't go away until I scratch there. That spot is now gone, but I was scratching around the sternum earlier today and the same spot on my torso lit up just like before. Not sure why that happens. Sometimes there'll be three spots. I'll scratch one, then another spot lights up, and when I scratch the second spot a third one lights up, and so I scratch the third, but now the first one itches again because I never quite got done scratching it, so I scratch it again and it happens all over again.

On the other hand, I'm completely unaware of my own bodily tension when playing clarinet -- I apparently have a strong tendency to raise my shoulders when playing clarinet and I don't notice until my studio professor pushes them down and then it just feels weird. Also I tend to walk hunched over and my mother has been known to grab my shoulders and put them into place.... it feels very weird when she does that and I get stiff very quickly from trying to walk with my shoulders like that.

Reinin is not valid.

Reinin is what. Why did I ever get involved in socionics. Nothing is valid. Nobody knows what is valid. Aaaaauuuuugh!!!

What is the issue with Socionics Ti? Please say more on this.

Actually the issue is with Socionics Te because of MBTI Te even though JCF Te ¬= . Stigma with ISTJ which as you've probably seen I am not.
I use both and well enough I suppose.

ISTJ is Socionics LSI. Not Si-base there.

LSI is which is more ISTP than ISTJ (but by definition it is ISTj so...).
I do not use well. o_o
I am not a Beta. xD
(Unless my understanding of the quadras is also wrong in which case I'm going to go out and jump off of my roof. )


----


I very briefly considered ISFJ the other day after a conversation with my dad (INTP) about how he thinks my people skills (which I tend to tie to Fe) aren't as bad as my mother likes to make them out to be. Then my rarely-used e4 started whining about how if I were ISFJ, then I'd be... common, and that hurts my self-image as an Extremely Unique Individual, one of a rare few female IxTPs (INTPs and ISTPs). (This side doesn't come out of me enough for me to be INFJ though. I'm a snowflake, but I'm only mildly special. ) Then disintegrated e3 (I've had a few symptoms of e9 disintegration to e3 thanks to finding out what kind of millennial I am which was a serious blow to my ego) and Si reminded me that I've been presenting myself as a Ti-dom and Ti-doms should not be feeling this way this is what Fi users do right? (or maybe it's some kind of internalized Fe grip in which case who cares, it'll go away). Also I remember reading on the forum here somewhere that having 4w3 is more Fi than 4w5 (which is more Fe apparently). Which is also Si. Possibly Ne too since I came up with the last part (Ti-dom onward) in the span of about five minutes while I was writing this post.

(For timeline's reference, the millennial discussion was on Saturday and the social thing was either the following Monday or Tuesday.)

My dad and I briefly discussed it again this evening. He knows I have problems - I don't stand out in a crowd and I make it pretty obvious when I'm tired of interacting with people. But my interactions with people behind counters is great apparently.
Also people standing really close to me when we're talking make me really self-conscious. Like what if I smell funny? Your face is less than a foot from mine and I'm at least six inches taller than you, why are you so close to me?

 

[existence]

(Jk. ....sort of.)

Lol!

I should mention I wrote that blurb back when my understanding of MBTI was really only dichotomies and I was also deep into my Asperger's obsession.

Well I know I have a little bit of nerve crosswiring because I noticed that scratching a very specific spot on my thigh caused a very specific spot on my torso just under the ribs to.... feel like someone was poking me lightly there with a needle, and the sensation doesn't go away until I scratch there. That spot is now gone, but I was scratching around the sternum earlier today and the same spot on my torso lit up just like before. Not sure why that happens. Sometimes there'll be three spots. I'll scratch one, then another spot lights up, and when I scratch the second spot a third one lights up, and so I scratch the third, but now the first one itches again because I never quite got done scratching it, so I scratch it again and it happens all over again.

On the other hand, I'm completely unaware of my own bodily tension when playing clarinet -- I apparently have a strong tendency to raise my shoulders when playing clarinet and I don't notice until my studio professor pushes them down and then it just feels weird. Also I tend to walk hunched over and my mother has been known to grab my shoulders and put them into place.... it feels very weird when she does that and I get stiff very quickly from trying to walk with my shoulders like that.

Okay, forget Si ego.

Reinin is what. Why did I ever get involved in socionics. Nothing is valid. Nobody knows what is valid. Aaaaauuuuugh!!!

The basics of it that are jungian principles put into an information processing framework aren't bad.

Actually the issue is with Socionics Te because of MBTI Te even though JCF Te ¬= . Stigma with ISTJ which as you've probably seen I am not.

Oh fuck the confusion over notation, wish they would never have used the same labels.

LSI is which is more ISTP than ISTJ (but by definition it is ISTj so...).
I do not use well. o_o
I am not a Beta. xD
(Unless my understanding of the quadras is also wrong in which case I'm going to go out and jump off of my roof. )

I'm sorry, but LSI with is not MBTI ISTP! At all!

I'm living proof for that.

I very briefly considered ISFJ the other day after a conversation with my dad (INTP) about how he thinks my people skills (which I tend to tie to Fe) aren't as bad as my mother likes to make them out to be. Then my rarely-used e4 started whining about how if I were ISFJ, then I'd be... common, and that hurts my self-image as an Extremely Unique Individual, one of a rare few female IxTPs (INTPs and ISTPs). (This side doesn't come out of me enough for me to be INFJ though. I'm a snowflake, but I'm only mildly special. ) Then disintegrated e3 (I've had a few symptoms of e9 disintegration to e3 thanks to finding out what kind of millennial I am which was a serious blow to my ego) and Si reminded me that I've been presenting myself as a Ti-dom and Ti-doms should not be feeling this way this is what Fi users do right? (or maybe it's some kind of internalized Fe grip in which case who cares, it'll go away). Also I remember reading on the forum here somewhere that having 4w3 is more Fi than 4w5 (which is more Fe apparently). Which is also Si. Possibly Ne too since I came up with the last part (Ti-dom onward) in the span of about five minutes while I was writing this post.

Reading your train of thought here makes me think of some ILIs I know. That one fitting you at all? I mean, if you have a problem with LII for some reason.

 

[Snickie]

Okay, forget Si ego.

Alright then. Not ego and not ego. That means I'm or . Progress!

The basics of it that are jungian principles put into an information processing framework aren't bad.

I don't know why but that almost sounds Ti ish to me. I like it.

Still though. I wish I knew where they really came from (I asked Jeremy about it in that dedicated thread and his response post was just so dense it might as well have been written in Old French... for all I know he was completely BSing but what do I know).

Oh fuck the confusion over notation, wish they would never have used the same labels.



I'm sorry, but LSI with is not MBTI ISTP! At all!

I'm living proof for that.

*tries so very very hard not to nitpick the grammar of that first bit (don't worry it's only a very minor offense)*

Again. Notation confusion suckage. Also when I asked about shadow functions (prior to coming here) I was referred to Socionics, in particular LSI (I was still touting the ISTP label at the time), which I thought weird because, well, that's ISTj and I'm not ISTJ but why also is it Ti Se this is so backwards. Love notation.

Reading your train of thought here makes me think of some ILIs I know. That one fitting you at all? I mean, if you have a problem with LII for some reason.

The second time I took the test on sociotype.com I got ILI-3Te. It sounded pretty close but I couldn't decide between SLI and ILI which one really sounded more like me. That and I'm far too judicious to be a Gamma (they value ). Oh wait, that's Reinin; is my statement even valid?

I want to be LII. I just don't think my brain likes it much. But what do I know. I guess I'll have to reread the information on it all again.



One of these days I WILL settle on a type.

 

[existence]

Sorry, I forgot to check back for a while.

Alright then. Not ego and not ego. That means I'm or . Progress!

Yeah that's something.

I don't know why but that almost sounds Ti ish to me. I like it.

That is Ti, actually, yes. Socionics Ti, anyway.

Still though. I wish I knew where they really came from (I asked Jeremy about it in that dedicated thread and his response post was just so dense it might as well have been written in Old French... for all I know he was completely BSing but what do I know).

Reinin, a socionist, playing around one day for fun with trying to do maths on some Socionics stuff is where they came from.

*tries so very very hard not to nitpick the grammar of that first bit (don't worry it's only a very minor offense)*

I'm not really worried - I'm not even a native speaker of English. If I write in this way it's because it's not a dissertation but an informal forum post.

Again. Notation confusion suckage. Also when I asked about shadow functions (prior to coming here) I was referred to Socionics, in particular LSI (I was still touting the ISTP label at the time), which I thought weird because, well, that's ISTj and I'm not ISTJ but why also is it Ti Se this is so backwards. Love notation.

The second time I took the test on sociotype.com I got ILI-3Te. It sounded pretty close but I couldn't decide between SLI and ILI which one really sounded more like me. That and I'm far too judicious to be a Gamma (they value ). Oh wait, that's Reinin; is my statement even valid?

Break it down a bit more about SLI vs ILI if you want.

I want to be LII. I just don't think my brain likes it much. But what do I know. I guess I'll have to reread the information on it all again.

One of these days I WILL settle on a type.

...any luck with this?

 

[Snickie]

Sorry, I forgot to check back for a while.

No worries. I've been taking a hiatus from TypeC anyway. I actually got on tonight for a different reason but happened to see this along the way.

That is Ti, actually, yes. Socionics Ti, anyway.

Me gusta.

Reinin, a socionist, playing around one day for fun with trying to do maths on some Socionics stuff is where they came from.

I will say I had a lot of fun looking at how the numbers lined up between the dichotomies and the types. Even if the numbers there are just yes/no representatives.

I'm not really worried - I'm not even a native speaker of English. If I write in this way it's because it's not a dissertation but an informal forum post.

I wouldn't have guessed that unless I really latched on to the rather formal manner in which you've been communicating (a common occurrence with speakers of second languages since often they aren't familiar with all of the slang and colloquialisms). Knowing that now, you might have meant something different that what a native speaker might have meant. (A native speaker's grammar can be terrible. XD)

Break it down a bit more about SLI vs ILI if you want.




...any luck with this?

What is left to break down between SLI and ILI? leading or leading, which are painted as very different things based on their position in the model A, and somehow you have determined that I don't exhibit the behavior of leading.

So I'm either leading creative or leading and creative. Alpha and Gamma are obviously very different worlds too. We could look at the lower functions? Like I place some value onto (or my understanding of which at this point needs a refresher) but I'm terrible at using it. On the other hand, I value the things I'm good at, which seems to include .

Yeah, I need to reread on this.



I wasn't planning on breaking my hiatus now but I have more evidence for my 954, especially 9 core. I'd talk more about it now but it's midnight and I have a headache and another 13h day ahead of me.

 

[Snickie]

It appears I never came back to post about that e9 breakthrough. I don't remember what it was now. Oh well.

In the meantime, I found this questionnaire which apparently tells you what it thinks you think are the three most important strands of your personality. It gave me rationality, shyness, and (surprise surprise) aggression.

Self-Knowledge Questionnaire
Below the surface everyone is pretty complicated. Based on your answers, we think the following three traits are important strands in your personality:

RATIONALITY​

You like clarity and intelligent simplicity and you get frustrated at messy thinking. This can make you seem unreasonably pushy to some, but it is actually a virtue: you are motivated by a horror at pointless effort and a longing for precision and insight into how things and people work. Your ability to synthesise and bring order is essential in producing thinking which is truly helpful.

SHYNESS​

Part of you is gripped by the fear that you’ll launch into something and completely mess it up. The upside of this is wise caution: people are indeed often too rash, whereas you know, by instinct, that holding back can save you. Probably, you feel shame and self-disgust a bit too much. But when you do feel in your element, you act with a wisdom and sensitivity never found in people with thicker skins.

AGGRESSION​

One part of your character is anger in all its forms: frustration, outrage – and when anger is suppressed – bitterness, grumpiness, and bodily aches. Fundamentally, frustration comes from hope: you get upset because you expect your life will be more than a valley of tears. One way to deny aggression is to direct it inwards, as self-criticism. But you’re at your best when you acknowledge anger, and act it out clearly and in a focussed way, with honour.

I'm kind of still trying to figure out how I got aggression. Maybe it's tied to my being an e9 core?

-=-=-=-=-

I'm working on another questionnaire. And by "working on" I mean staring at it blankly until I finally get the drive to actually fill it out.

 

[existence]

No worries. I've been taking a hiatus from TypeC anyway. I actually got on tonight for a different reason but happened to see this along the way.

Another delay, sorry...

Me gusta.

What did you like about it?

I will say I had a lot of fun looking at how the numbers lined up between the dichotomies and the types. Even if the numbers there are just yes/no representatives.

Err what numbers?

I wouldn't have guessed that unless I really latched on to the rather formal manner in which you've been communicating (a common occurrence with speakers of second languages since often they aren't familiar with all of the slang and colloquialisms). Knowing that now, you might have meant something different that what a native speaker might have meant. (A native speaker's grammar can be terrible. XD)

I don't think I'm any more formal here than in my native language.

Also, I can be a LOT more formal than this.

Btw, where you say I might have meant something different, what are you referring to? And what was my grammar mistake?

What is left to break down between SLI and ILI? leading or leading, which are painted as very different things based on their position in the model A, and somehow you have determined that I don't exhibit the behavior of leading.

So I'm either leading creative or leading and creative. Alpha and Gamma are obviously very different worlds too. We could look at the lower functions? Like I place some value onto (or my understanding of which at this point needs a refresher) but I'm terrible at using it. On the other hand, I value the things I'm good at, which seems to include .

Er. You value what things that you think are about you being good at ?

I still wonder about ILI for you. Se seeking not fitting you?

How do you relate to ?


Finally, one (well, two) more question(s). How do you relate to setting goals and to pursuing goals with a direction?

 

[Snickie]

Err what numbers?

I took the dichotomies for all types and assigned them to a binary. For example in thinking vs feeling, thinking=1 and feeling=0. Then I threw them all in a spreadsheet and tracked all the binaries. Maybe it was the way I ordered them (by quadra) but it was cool how they came out. When I'm back at my laptop I'll post a screenshot.

I don't think I'm any more formal here than in my native language.

Also, I can be a LOT more formal than this.

Btw, where you say I might have meant something different, what are you referring to? And what was my grammar mistake?

I think I said that because I read your stuff in a very similar voice as I do my own stuff, and I generally see my writing style as slightly more formal than your average American.

The grammatical thing was use of the conditional (would have) instead of a subjunctive (had, which is the same as indicative in English but shhhh). In Spanish this would translate to "habría" rather than "haya" or "hubiera" depending on the tense of the opening clause. (I don't know what your second language is; Spanish is my second language so that's why I referenced it.)

Er. You value what things that you think are about you being good at ?

I still wonder about ILI for you. Se seeking not fitting you?

How do you relate to ?


Finally, one (well, two) more question(s). How do you relate to setting goals and to pursuing goals with a direction?

From what I read (which may or may not be completely wrong), users tend to place a lot of value on aesthetics and comfort. In me this manifests at least somewhat in my proficiency for visual art (amateur at best but still) and music. It's one of the same reasons I keep flip flopping back and forth between ISTP and INTP.


I dislike both and . They are necessary evils.

Fi as Mobilizing Function

The individual longs for establishing stable personal relationships with other individuals based on mutual trust and understanding where deeper and private feelings and experiences can be easily shared. However, the individual lacks the initiative to establish such relationships and usually expects others to make gestures in that area, admiring those who do so. In the context of extroverted ethics (Fe) as a vulnerable function, it should be emphasized that these types especially value emotional bonds where feelings go unsaid between partners, and are simply "understood."

Fi as Role Function

The individual recognizes the existence and importance of personal relationships, so he is usually cautious at first about offending others if he does not know them well. To minimize this risk he adheres somewhat simplistically to the relevant social conventions (e.g. political correctness). However, if taken too far this produces stress, as it inhibits his natural introverted logic (Ti) inclination to voice exactly what his thoughts are on a given issue or situation, with the expectation that others will appreciate his straightforwardness, rather than accusing him of being insensitive. This caution gradually disappears as he gets to know people better. He prefers to develop relationships indirectly with others based on open conversation and common activities, and only reveals his innermost personal feelings to those he has known for a long time. He may become confused and suspicious if they are directly solicited by others.

Fe as Vulnerable Function

The individual tries hard to never let himself "come apart at the seams" emotionally or even let out strong feelings publicly, because displays of passion do not come naturally and make him feel self-consciousness and vulnerable to painful criticism. This makes the individual generally seem emotionally neutral and politely indifferent to excitement and agitation around him. The individual deeply dislikes attempts by others to get him to "cheer up" or "join the fun", especially in the context of group activities with loud emotional expression.

Fe as Suggestive Function

The individual often becomes engrossed in serious work, which leads him to neglect his complementary need for fun and emotional release. He also feels vulnerable expressing himself spontaneously in public, which allows bad emotions and stress to build up, leading to depression or sudden hostility. He enjoys being around people who make him feel comfortable expressing himself, and who can make every day new and exciting. Although he may present a hard exterior in the company of strangers, he is likely to not be serious at all with people who know him better. His behavior changes radically - a calm and serious structured person will suddenly become jovial and warm.

Se as Suggestive Function

The individual is often characterized by his inertia. If left to his own devices, he may choose to do relatively little to interact with the outside world. When he does interact with the outside world, he often finds his activities to be empty and unfulfilling. To this individual, life is often characterized by periods of stimulation. For him, however, true stimulation is often spontaneous, and interludes between periods of stimulation are often characterized by tedium, inertia, and apathy. He is often not very adept at finding new areas of interest, and may seek to continue to reproduce past experiences instead of moving on to new things. In order to break out of this cycle, he requires an outside stimulus of spontaneity and activity. With such a degree of spontaneity introduced into his life, the tedium and perceived meaninglessness is replaced by a constant state of activity in which he can experience new things and escape from the confines of his own mind.

He is additionally very indecisive. He may lack the ability to make important decisions, especially with regards to his own future. He may know what he wants to achieve out of life in a broad or long term sense, but will find it very difficult to set and finish the short term projects leading to it. In order to be able to act, he needs a tangible and definite stimulus from somebody well grounded in external reality and who has a clear picture of what must be done in a certain situation.

Se as Ignoring Function

The individual prefers to guide others by providing individual rewards and helping satisfy the needs of specific important people rather than through direct leadership or issuing directives. He avoids confrontation and collisions, but becomes fierce and unbending for brief periods of time if they are inevitable. He does not resonate with the idea of overcoming challenges or beating the competition, but prefers to listen to his internal desires and care for his own physical, emotional, and psychological well-being rather than doing what the outside world seems to demand or require of him.

He is adept at perceiving fights over power of a confrontational nature around him and is very able to resist them or even actively participate in them if that is seen as unavoidable, but he sees no point in giving them priority over a sense of comfort and well-being. Participation in violent physical activities where such fights may take place, as in some sports, are motivated not by those fights themselves but by the stimulating sensations those activities generate.

Se as Vulnerable Function

The individual tends to overreact to aggressive or confrontational behavior, taking it as a personal threat when it may only be a knee-jerk reaction or the result of a bad mood. He tends to avoid intruding on others' space or engaging in behavior that may be perceived as coercive, and tries hard to handle his needs by being disciplined and well-prepared himself - rather than relying on others to do things for him. If these strategies fail, his efforts at dealing with the resulting conflict make him look actively pushy in a way that appears awkward and unnatural to others. This opens him up to painful criticism and feelings of weakness and helplessness.

He is able to moralize and instruct others about what they should do and why, but he is not prepared for others' active resistance or refusal to do as he says. In his mind, this would require him to put aside reason and good feelings and simply make the other person do what is necessary. This is extremely difficult, if not impossible, for him to do.

 

[existence]

I took the dichotomies for all types and assigned them to a binary. For example in thinking vs feeling, thinking=1 and feeling=0. Then I threw them all in a spreadsheet and tracked all the binaries. Maybe it was the way I ordered them (by quadra) but it was cool how they came out. When I'm back at my laptop I'll post a screenshot.

Okay, post if you still have it.

I think I said that because I read your stuff in a very similar voice as I do my own stuff, and I generally see my writing style as slightly more formal than your average American.

The grammatical thing was use of the conditional (would have) instead of a subjunctive (had, which is the same as indicative in English but shhhh). In Spanish this would translate to "habría" rather than "haya" or "hubiera" depending on the tense of the opening clause. (I don't know what your second language is; Spanish is my second language so that's why I referenced it.)

My second language is English. I don't know any Spanish at all =)

Anyway, I see the problem with the grammar, well, I never really got used to that kind of grammar (the kind used with "if only" etc type of phrases, didn't know it was called "subjunctive"). You could say I'm half used to it, I "feel" it well but can skip over it if I go too quickly. I used to test well with these nuances in English exams back then though

From what I read (which may or may not be completely wrong), users tend to place a lot of value on aesthetics and comfort. In me this manifests at least somewhat in my proficiency for visual art (amateur at best but still) and music. It's one of the same reasons I keep flip flopping back and forth between ISTP and INTP.

That on its own isn't enough of a reason to type as Si ego.

How much of a physical person do you see yourself in general?

Still interested: how do you relate to setting goals and to pursuing goals with a direction?


As for the Fi/Fe/Se quotes... what do the bolded and the italicized parts mean?

 

[Snickie]

That on its own isn't enough of a reason to type as Si ego.

How much of a physical person do you see yourself in general?

I physically exist? XD Um
Running is a faster means of getting places but it also wears me down pretty quickly. I'm not particularly strong or flexible. I do try to keep my weight under a certain point because I hate pants shopping. In the morning I don't usually spend a lot of time on my hair and I only wear makeup on special occasions. My clothes generally match well enough. I play musical instruments. That's pretty physical, right? Back in high school I was in the marching band and freshman year I expressed interest in only attending a university with a marching band, a sentiment which I held in opposite light once I actually got around to applying for colleges senior year.

What else...?

Still interested: how do you relate to setting goals and to pursuing goals with a direction?

Oh God.
I need a physical reward system that I can stick to, something I actually care about or can't do without for an extended period of time. I can set goals all I want (usually only happens when the topic is a complete novelty or about to enter dire straits territory, like the 13 page book report I wrote in just one day). Pursuing them needs more of a push. Usually from Urgent to Dire. Or something else is urgent and this is not important at all. #procrastinatorsunitetomorrow

As for the Fi/Fe/Se quotes... what do the bolded and the italicized parts mean?

Bold - I relate
Italic and bold - I strongly relate

 

[existence]

I physically exist? XD Um
Running is a faster means of getting places but it also wears me down pretty quickly. I'm not particularly strong or flexible. I do try to keep my weight under a certain point because I hate pants shopping. In the morning I don't usually spend a lot of time on my hair and I only wear makeup on special occasions. My clothes generally match well enough. I play musical instruments. That's pretty physical, right? Back in high school I was in the marching band and freshman year I expressed interest in only attending a university with a marching band, a sentiment which I held in opposite light once I actually got around to applying for colleges senior year.

What else...?

I know a lot of N types who play musical instruments. LIE, LII, ILE, IEI etc.

What I was asking about is, in general how much of your focus is on all these physical aspects. Though we discussed this a bit earlier already and I'm not particularly seeing you as such a physical person in terms of that either. You don't seem as grounded as 4D Si types (ISxx), either.

Oh God.
I need a physical reward system that I can stick to, something I actually care about or can't do without for an extended period of time. I can set goals all I want (usually only happens when the topic is a complete novelty or about to enter dire straits territory, like the 13 page book report I wrote in just one day). Pursuing them needs more of a push. Usually from Urgent to Dire. Or something else is urgent and this is not important at all. #procrastinatorsunitetomorrow

Bolded sounds like strong Ne. Though, I read a bit of your OP now, and I think I can see Se dual seeking.

All in all... you do come off as Irrational Ip-ish to me, and your ironical style could be seen as the Ni version of irony.

Bold - I relate
Italic and bold - I strongly relate

OK, how do you interpret this: "it should be emphasized that these types especially value emotional bonds where feelings go unsaid between partners, and are simply "understood.""? Why do you relate to this?

Also this: "The individual deeply dislikes attempts by others to get him to "cheer up" or "join the fun", especially in the context of group activities with loud emotional expression."


...though overall I'm not really seeing a problem with ILI for you. I think unless there is something that's a glaring mismatch, I'll stick to ILI for you. But you can still answer the above for clarification

 

[Snickie]

I know a lot of N types who play musical instruments. LIE, LII, ILE, IEI etc.

What I was asking about is, in general how much of your focus is on all these physical aspects. Though we discussed this a bit earlier already and I'm not particularly seeing you as such a physical person in terms of that either. You don't seem as grounded as 4D Si types (ISxx), either.

Then I guess I misunderstood the question. Obviously when I practice clarinet I have to focus a lot on the physical aspects of playing - making sure my embouchure (mouth) is conducive to the tone I'm trying to produce, no blips between notes (finger dexterity), air support (abs), make sure my articulation (tongue and air) is clean, etc. A lot of these are sound cues though, and I tend to pay more attention to that than the feel of playing (although resistance of the mouthpiece and reed are very much physical/tactile? to me when there's a lot of resistance). I tend to lean backwards when I'm running low on air due to some stubborn instinct to finish the phrase in one breath instead of actually stopping to take even a catch breath. If I'm not focused on it or particularly stressed, I also tend to raise my shoulders when breathing, which is an all around bad habit.
Shaping (adding expressivity through dynamic (volume) and subtle tempo changes) does not come as naturally to me. That is to say, I have a tendency to sound like a robot when sounding like a robot is not appropriate for the piece.

Bolded sounds like strong Ne. Though, I read a bit of your OP now, and I think I can see Se dual seeking.

All in all... you do come off as Irrational Ip-ish to me, and your ironical style could be seen as the Ni version of irony.

Please explain to me what you mean by irony.
(A lot of people misuse the word so I want to make sure I understand your intended meaning.)

OK, how do you interpret this: "it should be emphasized that these types especially value emotional bonds where feelings go unsaid between partners, and are simply "understood.""? Why do you relate to this?

Also this: "The individual deeply dislikes attempts by others to get him to "cheer up" or "join the fun", especially in the context of group activities with loud emotional expression."

The first one:
Actually I'm not sure what past!Snickie was thinking when she bolded that. She could have been referring to things like friends intrinsically understanding when something is a joke even though it could have been taken as really insulting? Or the mutual understanding of... feelings? that are read rather than explicitly stated. Like I said, I'm not sure. XD
It's interesting how I made friends here at uni - they basically dragged me in and infested my life. One literally refers to herself as mold - she attached herself and grew on me. I was legitimately surprised when she told people we were best friends, but I didn't have anybody else to fill that role at the time and she didn't repulse me obviously, so I just rolled with it. My other best friend invited me to sit with her group at their table one day and somehow that led to us becoming really good friends. It just kind of... happened.
And yes, it probably would have "just happened" even if my grandmother were in the room watching. Lol inside joke
Does that even begin to answer your question?

The second one - I know past!Snickie was thinking specifically of times when she was pissed off or otherwise upset at something and people were trying to get her to just let it go or whatever.* Don't tell me to "cheer up" when I clearly don't feel like being cheery. Let me feel the feels that I'm apparently already allowing myself to feel so that I can process, and then I'll cheer up.
Also Snickie defines herself to be very introverted, so invitations to "join the fun" are usually met with internal disdain because, frankly, if I wanted to join the fun then I'd have done it already, right? (Wrong, if my self esteem is particularly low that day. Then I want people to ask so I can say no (or rarely yes) but also comfort myself with the fact that people actually cared enough to invite me. Cue internal conflict because now what if people see me as someone who likes to wallow and never invites me to do anything ever again ever.)

* A specific incident comes to mind - I was in preschool (so I didn't really know how to squash down emotions yet because 4yo...) and I was late to circle time so as soon as I set my chair down they picked it up and put it away, and afterwards we had a dance party. I was so upset about having been essentially kicked out of the circle that I just stood there self consciously in the middle of the dance party, probably crying. One girl Destiny tried to get me to dance with her but I was not having it. I have this on tape somewhere. Hated dancing for years afterward. That also damaged the way I saw myself and lived life for years, even to this day (though less so now as I've learned that putting myself out there isn't always a bad thing).

...though overall I'm not really seeing a problem with ILI for you. I think unless there is something that's a glaring mismatch, I'll stick to ILI for you. But you can still answer the above for clarification

Uhhh okay. XD

 

[existence]

Then I guess I misunderstood the question. Obviously when I practice clarinet I have to focus a lot on the physical aspects of playing - making sure my embouchure (mouth) is conducive to the tone I'm trying to produce, no blips between notes (finger dexterity), air support (abs), make sure my articulation (tongue and air) is clean, etc. A lot of these are sound cues though, and I tend to pay more attention to that than the feel of playing (although resistance of the mouthpiece and reed are very much physical/tactile? to me when there's a lot of resistance). I tend to lean backwards when I'm running low on air due to some stubborn instinct to finish the phrase in one breath instead of actually stopping to take even a catch breath. If I'm not focused on it or particularly stressed, I also tend to raise my shoulders when breathing, which is an all around bad habit.
Shaping (adding expressivity through dynamic (volume) and subtle tempo changes) does not come as naturally to me. That is to say, I have a tendency to sound like a robot when sounding like a robot is not appropriate for the piece.

Yeah I recall you said before that you forget to pay attention to your body while doing all this.

Pretty sure my NF sister also had to pay attention to these aspects you describe when she was practicing clarinet

The last part is reminiscent of xLI stuff

Please explain to me what you mean by irony.
(A lot of people misuse the word so I want to make sure I understand your intended meaning.)

Irony as I use it means you are saying the opposite meaning of what you actually mean or when you point out / pick on such things.

I would call it sarcasm only when there is a bit of extra meanness in it and I didn't see that with you yet.

Btw this isn't decisive for typing but I did enjoy some of this stuff.

The first one:
Actually I'm not sure what past!Snickie was thinking when she bolded that. She could have been referring to things like friends intrinsically understanding when something is a joke even though it could have been taken as really insulting? Or the mutual understanding of... feelings? that are read rather than explicitly stated. Like I said, I'm not sure. XD
It's interesting how I made friends here at uni - they basically dragged me in and infested my life. One literally refers to herself as mold - she attached herself and grew on me. I was legitimately surprised when she told people we were best friends, but I didn't have anybody else to fill that role at the time and she didn't repulse me obviously, so I just rolled with it. My other best friend invited me to sit with her group at their table one day and somehow that led to us becoming really good friends. It just kind of... happened.
And yes, it probably would have "just happened" even if my grandmother were in the room watching. Lol inside joke
Does that even begin to answer your question?

Reminds me of another xLI with Fi HA.

The second one - I know past!Snickie was thinking specifically of times when she was pissed off or otherwise upset at something and people were trying to get her to just let it go or whatever.* Don't tell me to "cheer up" when I clearly don't feel like being cheery. Let me feel the feels that I'm apparently already allowing myself to feel so that I can process, and then I'll cheer up.
Also Snickie defines herself to be very introverted, so invitations to "join the fun" are usually met with internal disdain because, frankly, if I wanted to join the fun then I'd have done it already, right? (Wrong, if my self esteem is particularly low that day. Then I want people to ask so I can say no (or rarely yes) but also comfort myself with the fact that people actually cared enough to invite me. Cue internal conflict because now what if people see me as someone who likes to wallow and never invites me to do anything ever again ever.)

Bit stereotypical Fe PoLR...

Uhhh okay. XD

Hope it helps a bit.

 

[Snickie]

I'm back and... I have almost nothing to say.

Except

Reading this brings back all the conflicting thoughts (NESI OR SENI WHY CAN'T I GET THIS). Also, ISFJ keeps creeping up on my radar and I hate it because obviously Ti-doms are super smart and don't paint things for the sake of painting for themselves and can solve all the world's problems and what am I doing but doing very F type things. Obviously Fs are the only ones who can actually express happiness that isn't related to world or workplace domination (TJs) or some sarcastic quip and solving a Rubik's cube (TPs).

It's disgusting! XD
When did I get to be in such a good mood? Since when did I actually start liking people??? XD

My friend who's in Abnormal Psychology suggested I might have cyclothymia, which is a mood disorder like bipolar II but even less disruptive. 'Highs' aren't quite hypomania (I'm too well aware of my faults to let myself get caught up in the endless self-esteem that comes with actual hypomania) though depressions can still get pretty dark. It would explain my long duration mood swings over the years. Last year sucked. This year has been mostly good, especially since around Christmas. It feels good to feel good.

Basically I've gone from melancholic to some brand of sanguine (but always appears a bit phlegmatic because introvert).

Not sure how it affects my productivity levels. Two weeks ago I was inordinately productive. Last week was on the better side of normal. This week I can already tell is going to be bad. I can't focus on anything academic right now (possibly hecause of my Very Important senior recital happening this weekend?). I might just have to take over a desk at the library for the week. I can usually get at least some work done there.

Anyway, another example of how I am capable of making good habits... just not for more than a week at a time, and with a disappointingly long cooldown period.

Why am I making a mental health ish post? Because maybe it explains (or adds to) why I'm reading through my old posts here and going, "Jeez, what a nutter. Why'd I have to write so much?" but not from a self-deprecating stance like I had been before and will inevitably do again. Even though I'd probably write just as many walls of text if I were to write these questionnaires nowadays.

Critical Parents Pi are disturbingly cheery lately. Like "lol, go to lunch with [name], say you're going to work but end up doing random crap instead. Sure, you'll fail and hate yourself later for it, but as long as you're having fun now, right? *grins too wide and eye twitches*" The underlying "you dumbass" and self hatred bubbling quietly under a blanket of smiling flowers that will eventually just die and reveal the miserable beast I am inside.

Hey, what does it mean for my stack that my maternal instincts are trying to flare up? Is that a 'Fe wants someone to care about (i.e. a baby)' thing or is it just a 'I'm a woman in the prime of her childbearing years' thing?