[INFP] INFPs who want to be INFJs...

[Kingu Kurimuzon]

This wondering whether one type is better than another really troubles me. Every type is equally good in their own way. We all have to come to terms with our weaknesses, accepting them and learning to use them to our benefit while alternately finding our strengths and learning how to exploit them to their full potential. I've seen a lot of type prejudice both here and on other sites. Sometimes it's against INFP, INFJ, ESFJ, etc. Often the prejudice and negativity against any given type comes from people identified as that particular type -- this self loathing troubles me greatly.

Believe me, there have been many times I wished i could change from INFP to another type.

The worst is when the prejudice surfaces, however subtle, in official type descriptions. I really hate the Keirsey type names in particular. How lame does "Idealist Healer" sound? Idealist Counselor isn't much better. Meanwhile other types are given such cool sounding names as Field Marshall, Mastermind, Inspector, Architect, etc. Couldn't they have thought of something slightly less spineless for the NF family?

I don't even think the prejudice is just against INFPs and INFJs, but against NFs in general. It even seems ENFPs often get it worse than their cousins, often being stereotyped as party animal hippies with shaggy hair and bipolar tendencies in this forum and elsewhere.

seems like SJs get a good amount of it too, with ESFJs bearing the brunt of it.

 

[Stansmith]

[MENTION=19700]Lyedecker[/MENTION]

Lol, the ESFP stereotype is basically a baboon with breasts. NFs probably get the most positive, well-rounded rap.

 

[brainheart]

So much of what people say about INFJ I relate to but I think it's just because they're talking more about e4 than INFJ.

So much of what people say about INFP I don't relate to but I think it's just because they're talking more about e9 than INFP.

 

[prplchknz]

What if you threw up something else e.g. a recently eaten meal?

that's a risk we're all gonna have to take, unfortunately

 

[ndovjtjcaqidthi]

This wondering whether one type is better than another really troubles me. Every type is equally good in their own way. We all have to come to terms with our weaknesses, accepting them and learning to use them to our benefit while alternately finding our strengths and learning how to exploit them to their full potential. I've seen a lot of type prejudice both here and on other sites. Sometimes it's against INFP, INFJ, ESFJ, etc. Often the prejudice and negativity against any given type comes from people identified as that particular type -- this self loathing troubles me greatly.

Believe me, there have been many times I wished i could change from INFP to another type.

The worst is when the prejudice surfaces, however subtle, in official type descriptions. I really hate the Keirsey type names in particular. How lame does "Idealist Healer" sound? Idealist Counselor isn't much better. Meanwhile other types are given such cool sounding names as Field Marshall, Mastermind, Inspector, Architect, etc. Couldn't they have thought of something slightly less spineless for the NF family?

I don't even think the prejudice is just against INFPs and INFJs, but against NFs in general. It even seems ENFPs often get it worse than their cousins, often being stereotyped as party animal hippies with shaggy hair and bipolar tendencies in this forum and elsewhere.

seems like SJs get a good amount of it too, with ESFJs bearing the brunt of it.

So you're an INFJ now?

:lol:

 

[Kingu Kurimuzon]

So you're an INFJ now?

:lol:

Not really. I'm nothing. Just crazy.

 

[ndovjtjcaqidthi]

Not really. I'm nothing. Just crazy.

 

[Kingu Kurimuzon]

 

[ndovjtjcaqidthi]

Hmm?

 

[Kingu Kurimuzon]

Hmm?

 

[prplchknz]

this thread has officially gone creepy *shivers*

 

[Standuble]

Derailment. This thread now sucks donkey balls.

 

[Kingu Kurimuzon]

Derailment.

 

[ndovjtjcaqidthi]

It's funny because you are exactly what this thread is about!

:tonguestickingout:

 

[Kingu Kurimuzon]

p

 

[RosieJones]

Is that true? I haven't seen any INFPs wanting to be INFJs?

Okay to make the INFPs feel better, here are some things that only INFPs do best :

- The INFPs I've met seem more 'pure' somehow than INFJs...like more real and honest and authentic. I always get the sense INFJs care more about how they are perceived (Fe) so are careful about how they present themselves (not always a bad thing btw INFJs )

- Fi is a rational function whereas Ni is an irrational function so actually I think INFPs are likely to be more rational...especially in a debate, INFPs are more likely to argue from a rational standpoint whereas often I have found INFJs can use an emotional method (like guilt tripping) to sway you

- INFJs can be more manipulative if they have unhealthy Fe and less assertive and more conflict avoidant as they have Ti and we have Te, meaning we want to organise things and sort them out there and then

- I like how Fi sticks up for its values no matter what and doesn't conform

- Fi is better at being okay with a little conflict as their feelings are less affected by external environment

- INFPs have a very deep capacity for emotion

- INFPs are way more chilled and laid back - they are very easy to get along with and just go with the flow whereas some INFJ friends have been a little uptight at times - I have seen some INFPs act like ESFPs, letting loose at parties

- We have Inferior Sensing as our tertiary function meaning we are actually more capable of coping in the sensing world (which is 75% of the population so pretty handy)

- Ne means we are quite witty as we can connect ideas very quickly (Ne/Se tends to be funnier than Fe/Te)

- We are happy being our authentic selves and less concerned with how we are perceived

- I've found INFPs have been more compassionate when it connects with their Fi and literally incapable of being mean whereas some INFJs can be quite cold or moody at times

- Everyone says INFPs are more disorganised but actually we have Te, which literally is ALL ABOUT ORGANISING so just work on that and we actually can find organising quite soothing. An INFP with developed Te has seriously got their shit together

- I have found INFPs to be more open to debating than INFJs who have become more easily hurt or emotionally involved in debates

- we typically write better creative complex stories about emotion because Fi allows us to understand our emotions very well

 

[Virgo1987]

You're the devil.





I don't really see much of what you're describing in this forum (INFPs wishing they were INFJs). But unfortunately (and I presume, completely inadvertently) you have worded this in such a way that is (I suspect) going to wind a couple INFPs here up so tightly there'll be no living with them. You might want to hide your immortal soul in a safe place while there's still time.

Really... INFPs here?

I guess I haven't hung around here long enough to realize that.

INFJs here on the other hand...

 

[Virgo1987]

Is that true? I haven't seen any INFPs wanting to be INFJs?

Okay to make the INFPs feel better, here are some things that only INFPs do best :

- The INFPs I've met seem more 'pure' somehow than INFJs...like more real and honest and authentic. I always get the sense INFJs care more about how they are perceived (Fe) so are careful about how they present themselves (not always a bad thing btw INFJs )

- Fi is a rational function whereas Ni is an irrational function so actually I think INFPs are likely to be more rational...especially in a debate, INFPs are more likely to argue from a rational standpoint whereas often I have found INFJs can use an emotional method (like guilt tripping) to sway you

- INFJs can be more manipulative if they have unhealthy Fe and less assertive and more conflict avoidant as they have Ti and we have Te, meaning we want to organise things and sort them out there and then

- I like how Fi sticks up for its values no matter what and doesn't conform

- Fi is better at being okay with a little conflict as their feelings are less affected by external environment

- INFPs have a very deep capacity for emotion

- INFPs are way more chilled and laid back - they are very easy to get along with and just go with the flow whereas some INFJ friends have been a little uptight at times - I have seen some INFPs act like ESFPs, letting loose at parties

- We have Inferior Sensing as our tertiary function meaning we are actually more capable of coping in the sensing world (which is 75% of the population so pretty handy)

- Ne means we are quite witty as we can connect ideas very quickly (Ne/Se tends to be funnier than Fe/Te)

- We are happy being our authentic selves and less concerned with how we are perceived

- I've found INFPs have been more compassionate when it connects with their Fi and literally incapable of being mean whereas some INFJs can be quite cold or moody at times

- Everyone says INFPs are more disorganised but actually we have Te, which literally is ALL ABOUT ORGANISING so just work on that and we actually can find organising quite soothing. An INFP with developed Te has seriously got their shit together

- I have found INFPs to be more open to debating than INFJs who have become more easily hurt or emotionally involved in debates

- we typically write better creative complex stories about emotion because Fi allows us to understand our emotions very well

Amen.

 

[Virgo1987]

Nobody in their right mind "wants" to be an INFJ, if somebody is wanting to be one it's only because they've never had to live as one or they'd be wanting to be an INFP. If I had to choose between those two, I would much rather be an INFP!!! I'm sure most INFJs in fact would rather be an INFP.

Firstly, I don't think INFJs are as rare as we think.

Secondly, I think they're the most commonly mistyped.

Thirdly, I think they're the type most likely to be unhealthy. In other words, it's harder to find an example of a healthy INFJ than any other type (percentage wise to account for their "rareness").

Lastly, INFJs are some of the most emotionally reactive, vindictive, evil little things I've ever met, they're prone to self sabotage, martyrdom, intensely manipulative and self deceived about it and the list goes on. The online saint like descriptions seem to only feed that perception of themselves and make the entire issue worse.

A healthy INFJ is a sight to behold, they're empathetic, upfront, truthful, loyal, flexible, comfortable in their own skin, dynamic, outspoken, motivated, and really spectacular people. I however can count the number of healthy INFJs I know on one hand and don't need the thumb. Most of them "know" what that looks like so they can talk the talk but simply can't walk the walk. Anybody who can't see how Hitler could have been an INFJ has simply never met an INFJ beyond their persona. Anybody who has truly met an INFJ can also see how Jesus, Gandhi, Mother T and MLK were the epitome and embodiment of a healthy INFJ.

I wonder if the darkness within an INFJ is why they are constantly mistyped. I don't know how far back personalities and the such date, but it makes me wonder when I think about society for young people/typical internet goers. IF someone were to log into tumblr they'd find that everyone there was an INFJ... and they'd also find people who could be labeled as "lost souls" or "hyper sensitive" and things of that sort. Now no matter how someone feels, they can google for a reason why. If they are dealing with things, they can google for help. And if INFJs are falling along the lines complete isolation, coldness, fear, etc... it's no wonder they all seem to be everywhere. Just a guess... I have no real idea or hardcore facts other than what I see on tumblr.

I don't think INFJs are helpless people or they're terrible people. I think they're trying people in certain cases (most likely females to be honest -- they just seem extremely emotionally charged which is probably because they're female, but myself as a female INFP can't even react in the ways I've seen INFP females react -- the one male INFJ I've met who is a little older than me is sweetheart though. He's currently the only healthy INFJ I've come across)... trying in the sense of they react in ways that confuse me.

I understand that they need to process things within themselves first, but they're total "shut down mode" is unreal. They can't possibl solve much of anything in their lives, I can imagine, if they don't reach out and tackle conflict at some point or in some way. It's like a human reality to deal with conflict and if they're not dealing with another person... whatever they do on their own is only valid in their own heads... and clearly that must seem to be perfectl okay with some of them.

One thing I do find unfortunate online is reading about INFJs. All that talk about their door slam... and for reasons that I find to be completely uncalled for, just boggles my mind. Their ability to just shut somebody out of their lives on a total whim... total whim for the other person as INFJs were probably thinking about doing such things all along. That doesn't have to be true, but that's how it appears which is ironic that they seem to worry about what other people think about them.

Also how they always tend to be the rarest personality. How they always are misunderstood. How they are such caring people. There's always a reason for why they are the way they are. When it comes to other types it always a reason for why they are the way they are.... in a completely negative light.

I don't believe in the online sainthood of INFJs... not anymore. I tried to for awhile, until I ran into something that had applied so much to one of my INFJs friend I said wait a minute... INFJs aren't saints.

I wish them well, I really do -- but I'm just alright with being an INFP. It's not because I like being unique, it's just because I like having a complete chill factor in my hectic life.

 

[Ghost]

I don't know that I've read this thread, but I'll come back later to address it and [MENTION=27652]RosieJones[/MENTION]'s post.