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[HongDou]

Was that an ENFP description or an ESFJ one?

That was an ESFJ one from my POV. But oop I guess I misread your comment

I was saying I see this in my ENFP very much! But it's when HE feels tense that he uses humor to diffuse. The situation doesn't have to actually BE negative. Even if I tell him, "hey no worries" he wouldn't hear that and he does it to alleviate HIS anxiety (6 wing).

Hmm, but if it's a situation that's giving him anxiety I see how a 7w6 would want to joke around and end things on a light, positive note because then they won't have to face the reality of the situation and the existential problem with him. I was talking more about mediating others, keeping the environment upbeat and happy, etc. So like you said it's when your husband himself feels tense. Whereas if someone is feeling tension from the tension of their surroundings that they feel like they feel compelled to alleviate, I'd chalk that under ESFJ.

As far as the "gimme more dirt comment"

I think (sorry, stereotypes) that the ESFJ's I know have never let their Fe values get in the way of some good gossip.

IME there are quite a few ESFJs who make a point to not gossip due to their values, I wonder how gossip manifests in type or if it's even type-related at all. Not to refute your own experience - I think you could see gossip more in ExFJs because they have the need to seek out validation that their assessment of whatever situation it is is correct. I would say that consensus is important to them related to gossip or not.

 

[HongDou]

What do you think?

oops, i didn't finish writing that comment lmao. i can't remember what i was even writing with that honestly.

Did I explicitly say that they carried no weight? No.

You said they were misplaced assertions...assertions pointing in the wrong direction...

Again, did I explicitly mention your name? No.

I'm dropping this.

What kind of a community adds on confusion to a member's type, especially when it goes against providing "a space to reflect and learn more about themselves"?

Confusion allows people to observe themselves from multiple angles rather than one.

Then shouldn't he ignore you? Or Starry for that matter?

Did you not read about how I did listen to people's suggestions about my type and flipped around? You just have to filter through what you want to listen to and what you don't.

 

[ChocolateMoose123]

That was an ESFJ one from my POV. But oop I guess I misread your comment



Hmm, but if it's a situation that's giving him anxiety I see how a 7w6 would want to joke around and end things on a light, positive note because then they won't have to face the reality of the situation and the existential problem with him. I was talking more about mediating others, keeping the environment upbeat and happy, etc. So like you said it's when your husband himself feels tense. Whereas if someone is feeling tension from the tension of their surroundings that they feel like they feel compelled to alleviate, I'd chalk that under ESFJ

Hmm. Okay. You're seeing a distinction where I am not because I would say the bolded fits in line with ENFP 7w6 as well. I see that tension and reaction to diffuse.

I can see that in ESFJ's also. So it might be an overlapping quality or maybe a quality that leans towards a 6 or 6 wing?

I'm actually trying to separate the ENFPs and ESFJ's I know irl that are tested and there is a busy-bodyish quality with ESFJ's that I don't see in ENFP's. Or maybe it reads different.

I mean that with no neg or pos connotations but ESFJ's want to know, everything. Like social information. It's actually a ExFJ thing. Fe dom thing. At least, that's a distinguishing characteristic for me between FJ and FP.

 

[Starry]

I think this is very NFP. The ESFJ's I know tend to feed into that in a gimme more good dirt kind of way.

omg NOOOOOOOOOOooooooo! She's drunk. she's drunk!!! haha

I can't believe it. I just got back and this was literally the first thing I saw! Here again is why we have no ESFJs (honestly, I have only met one ESFJ that was a gossip and even then she was pretty tame about it.)

[MENTION=25763]Enthusiastic_Dreamer[/MENTION]

I do not get the hostility here regarding your type...especially because you, yourself, don't seem closed off to it (have you been gossiping by any chance? haha). I came back because I was so touched by you having opened up about your story and was going to do the same for comparison but I am not attached to you changing your type and don't want it to seem that way.

I am a little bit attached to you checking out e2 though...just because enneagram offers a great deal more in the way of self-improvement...something you seem dedicated to. Having been mistyped for a decent amount of time and then discovering my correct e-type...I know that feeling of when the confusion is lifted (not saying you will have this experience but it is definitely worth it to see). Being properly e-typed makes a huge difference...so it might be worth it to give e2 a read.

 

[Kierva]

oops, i didn't finish writing that comment lmao. i can't remember what i was even writing with that honestly.

Lol.

You said they were misplaced assertions...assertions pointing in the wrong direction...

It doesn't mean that they don't carry weight. They carry some weight, just misplaced.

I'm dropping this.

Okay.

Confusion allows people to observe themselves from multiple angles rather than one.

No, it fogs up an issue that can be resolved quickly and simply by matter of clear and concise arguments, backed up by sufficient evidence.

Did you not read about how I did listen to people's suggestions about my type and flipped around? You just have to filter through what you want to listen to and what you don't.

And my point is that he shouldn't have to listen to you?

 

[HongDou]

Hmm. Okay. You're seeing a distinction where I am not because I would say the bolded fits in line with ENFP 7w6 as well. I see that tension and reaction to diffuse.

IME ENFPs (7s) aren't so much bothered by conflict (when they're not on the receiving end of it) but rather "inconvenienced" by it as it muddles their previously positive experience and disrupts the fantastical distraction we've set up for ourselves. But I'm also of the opinion that ENFPs are more self-centered and superficial than type descriptions lead on and that ESFJs are a lot less judgmental and "middle aged woman on the phone with her girlfriend about what they've been reading in People Mag" than type descriptions lead on...so I feel like our perspective on the types as a whole differ <- also that's not a dig at your perspective on ESFJs haha I know your view is more balanced/somewhere in between

I'm actually trying to separate the ENFPs and ESFJ's I know irl that are tested and there is a busy-bodyish quality with ESFJ's that I don't see in ENFP's. Or maybe it reads different.

Actually that's a good note, if you read [MENTION=10082]Starry[/MENTION]'s thread that I linked earlier you'll see a post or two I think about how ESFJs can "weird" it up for however long it provides fun and entertainment while the ENFPs get tired around after the 5th or 6th time being asked if they're high

I mean that with no neg or pos connotations but ESFJ's want to know, everything. Like social information. It's actually a ExFJ thing. Fe dom thing. At least, that's a distinguishing characteristic for me between FJ and FP.

I don't know about gossip specifically, but I do know if any type is interested in the manifestation of human nature in the outside world it would be ExFJ (whereas IxFP deals more with the manifestation of human nature from within).

 

[violet_crown]

I think all the ENFPs are really ESFJs.

Also, the idea of [MENTION=5223]MDP2525[/MENTION] being happy drunk somewhere makes the world seem a little brighter.

 

[HongDou]

No, it fogs up an issue that can be resolved quickly and simply by matter of clear and concise arguments, backed up by sufficient evidence.

The "fog" is just another person's POV that people have already validated including ED himself.

And my point is that he shouldn't have to listen to you?

Okay, we'll agree to disagree then. My point is that he'd probably benefit from ignoring those who follow him around and cause him emotional trauma, but since I've only talked to him once or twice about this it's not like I have an agenda to push but rather ideas for him to consider.

 

[ChocolateMoose123]

omg NOOOOOOOOOOooooooo! She's drunk. she's drunk!!! haha

I can't believe it. I just got back and this was literally the first thing I saw! Here again is why we have no ESFJs (honestly, I have only met one ESFJ that was a gossip and even then she was pretty tame about it.)

[MENTION=25763]Enthusiastic_Dreamer[/MENTION]

I do not get the hostility here regarding your type...especially because you, yourself, don't seem closed off to it (have you been gossiping by any chance? haha). I came back because I was so touched by you having opened up about your story and was going to do the same for comparison but I am not attached to you changing your type and don't want it to seem that way.

I am a little bit attached to you checking out e2 though...just because enneagram offers a great deal more in the way of self-improvement...something you seem dedicated to. Having been mistyped for a decent amount of time and then discovering my correct e-type...I know that feeling of when the confusion is lifted (not saying you will have this experience but it is definitely worth it to see). Being properly e-typed makes a huge difference...so it might be worth it to give e2 a read.

Lol. Well, to be fair, when I say gossip...I don't mean they are telling people other people's business. Wrong word maybe. But they are the "sit down and tell me all about hon" types. Like, they want so badly to lend the ear.

I see ENFP's a bit more...there's a boundary there. Like, am I over-stepping? I think they go through more of that.

 

[Kierva]

The "fog" is just another person's POV that people have already validated including ED himself.

Validated, and unused. What's the point?

Okay, we'll agree to disagree then. My point is that he'd probably benefit from ignoring those who follow him around and cause him emotional trauma, but since I've only talked to him once or twice about this it's not like I have an agenda to push but rather ideas for him to consider.

Sure. Let's believe that.

 

[ChocolateMoose123]

I think all the ENFPs are really ESFJs.

Also, the idea of [MENTION=5223]MDP2525[/MENTION] being happy drunk somewhere makes the world seem a little brighter.

I'm out of wine. It's a real problem. It's not ok. <--- I'm actually not mad. He looks really intense. That's not the right emoji. Meh.

 

[HongDou]

I'm out of wine. It's a real problem. It's not ok. <--- I'm actually not mad. He looks really intense. That's not the right emoji. Meh.

if only this were the "post here if you're drunk" thread...who knows how much drama would unfold

 

[ChocolateMoose123]

if only this were the "post here if you're drunk" thread...who knows how much drama would unfold

I know. Lots of censorship! I'm outtie. Be back later. Sorry to interrupt.

 

[HongDou]

Validated, and unused. What's the point?

Not unused, ED himself said he's going to take my and Starry's comments into consideration.

Sure. Let's believe that.

Will you ever stop being passive aggressive?

 

[Starry]

I think all the ENFPs are really ESFJs.

Also, the idea of [MENTION=5223]MDP2525[/MENTION] being happy drunk somewhere makes the world seem a little brighter.

I would give my left ovary to be a ESFJ right about now.


^okay, ovary doesn't seem to have the same exchange value as testicles do. I would give an ovary, my figurative balls which are very powerful and an arm. I'd be willing to give ESFJ a try

 

[Kierva]

Not unused, ED himself said he's going to take my and Starry's comments into consideration.

Code for "bullshit", in the real world, that is. I don't know if he's truly going to use it or not, but you'll have to ask him to really know.

Will you ever stop being passive aggressive?

Was I? Whoops.

 

[HongDou]

I would give an ovary, my figurative balls which are very powerful and an arm.

 

[violet_crown]

I'm out of wine. It's a real problem. It's not ok. <--- I'm actually not mad. He looks really intense. That's not the right emoji. Meh.

Do you have other kinds of alcohol? You could also have it delivered.

Not unused, ED himself said he's going to take my and Starry's comments into consideration.

I would give my left ovary to be a ESFJ right about now.

I just want some confirmed ESFJ to just walk in, side eye everyone and be like.

She doesn't have the range.

 

[HongDou]

I just want some confirmed ESFJ to just walk in, side eye everyone and be like.

Chances are low when I've been waiting for Mariah to walk in and say that to Adele for years now.

 

[violet_crown]

Chances are low when I've been waiting for Mariah to walk in and say that to Adele for years now.

Belting =/= range.