A part of me doesnt want to share my passions with others or "taint it" with money. I never really wanted to pursue far-off "dreams" like being a poet or fine artist or whatever appealed to me since childhood. I honestly dont feel like I owe anything to anyone, but that is a feeling I usually keep private. My public stance is that an ideal world would allow everyone to contribute their best by being allowed to cultivate their individual potential, which likely would be related to natural aptitude and interests. But it is not an ideal world, and I need to eat
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So all I've really wanted is to feel engaged by, confident in, and adept at what I do. In choosing an industry, this meant that I needed some level of enjoyment and a realistic level of aptitude and skill so that people would be willing to pay me to do it. I think when we are "naturally" good at something, it feels more enjoyable, which is why I didnt want to pursue stuff I may be good at but do not "identify" with. I wanted to focus on developing skills in an area I already felt some aptitude for, that felt "natural" to me. I also feel like your marketability is less likely to become obsolete if you focus on your natural talents because I think you will evolve more easily in those areas. You can stay up to date because you will learn quickly, out of natural ability and enthusiasm.
Generally, as long as my work provides a flexible work environment, allows me some creativity (of the arty variety) and a pretty high level of autonomy, and has a reasonable amount of variety, then it may be good enough for me.
As with most areas of life, I look to cultivate themes, not specifics. That is pretty much what my "values" are - themes or concepts.
The reality is that I am probably intelligent enough (no humblebrag here....just a regular ol' brag) to do many things well enough to make a living if I bothered to apply myself. My weakness is bothering to apply myself
. I do admit that mentally stimulating things motivate me more, so that task work is something I am really bad at; it is not because I am "above" certain work. I think work that is challenging but not frustrating is ideal. For example, even though I can enjoy teaching, being an actual teacher may have too many frustrating and draining elements (as the job really is more than just the act of teaching).
So for me, it is about managing to find something I am interested in/care enough about to bother exerting energy for and that feels rewarding because I am good at it. Since money is not my main priority in life, then the way I make money doesn't have to be the thing I am willing to exert the most energy for. I only need to be invested enough in it to exert enough energy to make the money I need.
