[INTJ] Why do people hate INTJs?

[chubber]

I can easily say what I don't like (bottom line), but trying to define what I do like is difficult, because I know, that I might like it now and later on dislike it or it could be taken out of context and so I keep thinking on how to explain in which situation I might actually like it.

 

[Tinyclaws]

I don't know. I've never met an INTJ that I hate. They're cool. Or perhaps I haven't met enough of them.

Maybe there's something to do with their austere posture? Considering ESFPs the easiest and quickest to like.
But honestly, INTJs I know are pretty fluffy, especially female ones. I don't know why people would miss that.

 

[Dyslexxie]

I adore INTJs, but they're a total mindfuck to deal with. Biggest heartbreakers around.

 

[Virtual ghost]

Biggest heartbreakers around.

Can you be more specific ? (I am really curious)

 

[Dyslexxie]

Can you be more specific ? (I am really curious)

Totally based on personal experiences but I always fall for INTJs and they're always too cold and distant to ever really reciprocate in the way I would want it reciprocated.

 

[Virtual ghost]

Totally based on personal experiences but I always fall for INTJs and they're always too cold and distant to ever really reciprocate in the way I would want it reciprocated.

Well, based on your type I would surely give you a chance.


Anyway if this is a problem that continues and you really like INTJs I suggest that you try with INTJs that are not stereotypical 5s. (however I am not sure if you would see such individuals as INTJs)

 

[chubber]

Well, based on your type I would surely give you a chance.


Anyway if this is a problem that continues and you really like INTJs I suggest that you try with INTJs that are not stereotypical 5s. (however I am not sure if you would see such individuals as INTJs)

8 or wing 8 would be a nice fit.

 

[Virtual ghost]

8 or wing 8 would be a nice fit.

Actually 8 fix could be enough.


five with an eight fix:
least intellectual, though perhaps the most mentally intense.
unsettled by occasional fits of temper,
sudden outbursts. affixed to notions of power;
attitude of resigned realist. quietly guarded and
insistent, may put others ill at ease.

 

[uumlau]

Totally based on personal experiences but I always fall for INTJs and they're always too cold and distant to ever really reciprocate in the way I would want it reciprocated.

From what I've seen, MBTI appears to correlate at least a bit to "Love Languages". Home | The 5 Love Languages® | Improving Millions of Relationships… One Language at a Time. It's the same idea at any rate: different people communicating on different levels, and thus not completely appreciating each other.

As a general principle, I've noticed that most people tend to look for love on their own terms and seem to instinctively object to the idea that they might need to adapt to and cooperate with another human being. It's kind of ironic: we're quite happy to adjust to our friends' and family's needs and wants, but no, our romantic partners have to conform to our needs and wants.

 

[Tilt]

Hahaha. I am always slightly paranoid that IXTJs especially INTJs are going to pick apart everything I say and eat me alive with their mad argumentation skillz But then they usually tolerate me... and occasionally like me...

 

[Forever]

As a general principle, I've noticed that most people tend to look for love on their own terms and seem to instinctively object to the idea that they might need to adapt to and cooperate with another human being. It's kind of ironic: we're quite happy to adjust to our friends' and family's needs and wants, but no, our romantic partners have to conform to our needs and wants.

Sounds like an INFJ's as well.

 

[Felix5]

Totally based on personal experiences but I always fall for INTJs and they're always too cold and distant to ever really reciprocate in the way I would want it reciprocated.

It's all a facade, we all wear masks. I think INTJs see if as a defense mechanism, emotion is our kryptonite.

 

[giorgaros2]

The only problem i have with INTJ's is that many of them think they are better than they actually are and some of them think they are strong when they arent lol(inferior Se?). But generally INTJ is one of the most interesting types for me.

 

[AphroditeGoneAwry]

 

[Dyslexxie]

From what I've seen, MBTI appears to correlate at least a bit to "Love Languages". Home | The 5 Love Languages® | Improving Millions of Relationships… One Language at a Time. It's the same idea at any rate: different people communicating on different levels, and thus not completely appreciating each other.

As a general principle, I've noticed that most people tend to look for love on their own terms and seem to instinctively object to the idea that they might need to adapt to and cooperate with another human being. It's kind of ironic: we're quite happy to adjust to our friends' and family's needs and wants, but no, our romantic partners have to conform to our needs and wants.

The Love Languages is something I've been looking at for a long. There's definitely a correlation and somewhere on this forum there's a link to a study that links what each type wants and how they want it communicated.

Like everything else, love is also a selfish thing, and often becomes a projection of what we want, not what the other person is offering. Can't say I know how to fix it, but it's something that occurs far too often.

 

[Femi_fabio]

I can think of a few reasons why people would hate INTJs but a lot of them would be based on assumptions made (maybe because of our cold exterior) that most INTJs don't really care about clarifying. We may also come across as condescending but thats just a Dom/aux Te thing

 

[Felix5]

The only problem i have with INTJ's is that many of them think they are better than they actually are and some of them think they are strong when they arent lol(inferior Se?).

No we don't. Why do people try to justify these stereotypes by using functions?

I've met my share of narcissists from just about every personality type. I know an ISTJ who literally brags about himself every day, we joke around by calling him Super Brad or the Amazing Bradley.

 

[uumlau]

The Love Languages is something I've been looking at for a long. There's definitely a correlation and somewhere on this forum there's a link to a study that links what each type wants and how they want it communicated.

Like everything else, love is also a selfish thing, and often becomes a projection of what we want, not what the other person is offering. Can't say I know how to fix it, but it's something that occurs far too often.

You fix it in yourself first. (We all do it.) Then it is easier to spot those potential partners with a similar mindset and avoid those who are still craving someone to fulfill their desires. Of course, that's easier said than done.

Take a look at "The Four Agreements" (Google it) to get an idea what it might look like. Also, look up the TED talk Brene Brown gives on "vulnerability". There is a huge degree of self-honesty required, and that level of emotional work scares most people.

 

[Forever]

The Love Languages is something I've been looking at for a long. There's definitely a correlation and somewhere on this forum there's a link to a study that links what each type wants and how they want it communicated.

I want HUGS. Type that. *mumbles and murmurs*

 

[uumlau]

I want HUGS. Type that. *mumbles and murmurs*

Touch.

Inferior Se.