[ENFP] ENFP are we annoying? Be honest. What do you really think?

[Lunar Light]

That's probably a fair concern, especially with less mature ENFP's. I used to get myself into a LOT if trouble by unwittingly telling secrets that I had no idea were secrets. We're just so open that we assume everyone else is the same way and honestly don't realize our mistake.

It was very difficult for me when I was younger to have people I cared for upset with me and not really understanding why. It was a process to learn what was OK to share abs what was off limits.

I think this would generally be more common with ENFPs who have soc as an instinct in their stacking.

Personally, this is exactly me. Exaaactly. The "WAIT-so-not-everyone-is-that-open?!?!" thing has been a problem for me, and I always feel terrible for it. I mean, that's an exaggeration; obviously people have different boundaries and it's generally pretty clear when certain situations call for discretion. But in general, I don't have a really great feel for boundaries other than those I can immediately identify with myself... and I barely have any anyway so... :/.

I hate upsetting people and I'm always like when something like this happens, because I get it, but I just don't immediately remember most of the time with my poor Si. I have a good memory, but I just don't really have a good internal sense of what happened and its meaning in the moment. It only really hits me after the fact, which is unfortunate.

side note: I came onto this thread expecting very little since there was obviously going to be a lot of generalizing, but am happily surprised that I found this and could relate so well

 

[Lunar Light]

I do find ENFPs moodiness difficult to maneuver sometimes.

Yeah, I think that's understandable. I feel like my ISTP friend and ex saw the moodiness as illogical. Not in a general sense, but what I was moody about and how I wasn't really straightforward about both talking about it or doing something about it.

Inability to "own your shit" would be top of my list. It's difficult to get an enfp to admit fault or they made a wrong choice. I think this is because if they think their intentions were good then the means justify the ends.

This can be a slippery slope to selfishness and "la-la-la. I'm not hearing you!" *fingers in ears* type behavior. I guess admitting fault can feel shame-inducing for the ENFP, which sends them into a weird pity party style moping.

At first I was going to contend your point, but I have to admit I'm guilty of having trouble completely owning up to something when I feel like my intentions are good. I think 2 in image for enneagram will contribute quite a bit to this :/.

For me, it's hard to accept that even with my good intentions, I have hurt someone. TBH, I'd say I'm honestly quite good at admitting my faults when it gets really serious, but otherwise it is indeed hard. I think I get overwhelmed and hurt because I never meant to upset anyone and it's devastating to feel like even though I'm sorry, everything is not magically okay. It is shame-inducing because I feel like I should be better than I was.

It also gets more complicated when I feel like my good intentions should still be appreciated even if ultimately it contributed to something negative.

This has been my experience with ENFP. I just think that part is too bad. I wish I could give them a thicker skin and/or give them a stronger ability to see shame or guilt doesn't have to come from inadvertently hurting someone.

Fault and blame don't taste the same.

Wise words.

 

[Forever]

Actually I think I'm more annoying to some ENFP's than they think of possibly be themselves lol

 

[chickpea]

yes, but the more important question is do they care if they're annoying?

 

[Boogie man]

So what do you think? ENFP's?...

... lol

 

[captainbandicoot]

I'm often told that my ENFP-ness gets very, very annoying when I'm drunk... Mostly I tell everybody why I love them SO MUCH. Once, a few months after graduating high school, I was drunk and jokingly told 'This is all a dream. Tomorrow you'll wake up and have to go to school again.' I burst into hysterical tears and ugly sobbing for about half an hour, which my friends found very annoying.

I'm also constantly being told to lower my voice, because I never realise when the ENTIRE ROOM CAN HEAR WHAT I'M SAYING AND THEY DON'T WANT TO LISTEN. I am also terrible at keeping secrets (especially my own), and always give TMI.

Another major one: I respond badly to criticism. One small reprimand can lead to 'OH MY GOD I'M GETTING FIRED' in about two seconds. Cue internal meltdown, frantic text messages to my best friend, and overworking myself to rectify a problem that isn't that big. People never actually see the meltdown, but they often sense my massive overreaction.

 

[captainbandicoot]

So what do you think? ENFP's?...

... lol

Yes, this is me. I admit it. Although, with that bad of a reaction I typically only keep it up for a few minutes before realising I've crossed the line...

 

[SweetFantasea]

I am super-dee-duper sensitive.. I don't like roasting or mean things. There's always other ways to be funny or laugh at things that are funny but not tacky. I don't understand the majority of the world like talking crap about how celebrities dress or how others look or choose to dress. So, people might get annoyed with that about me as well because I'm always in preach mode if I'm not sharing ideas or being extremely goofy.. People have told me that I was obnoxious and I agree that I am. I also like to troll sometimes but in a funny/prankster way.. Not in a way that might hurt someone's feelings but more-so get on their nerves like making loud annoying and obnoxious noises in the library or on the bus in the wee hours of the morning. I also get up early in the morning and dance around with high energy.. I do rant as well because I like speaking my mind and I figure if someone doesn't like it they can always leave or put earplugs in. I do get judged as 'attention seeking' though because my Enneagram 4 is so blunt with my weird/flamboyant style and I leave the house not looking like my surroundings. But if I lived out in California or maybe Vegas I would fit right in. It also sucks that I cry in public if something is wrong and I suffer from certain disorders.. (mainly ones that affect my mood.) I am unapologetically me.. So if you think I'm annoying all I can tell ya is to stay away.

PS - I AM flaky but I will tell ya that up front.

 

[SweetFantasea]

I don't find the ENFPs I know to be loud. Or, at least that trait doesn't stand out as bothersome. I kind of like boisterous people.

I do find ENFPs moodiness difficult to maneuver sometimes.

Inability to "own your shit" would be top of my list. It's difficult to get an enfp to admit fault or they made a wrong choice. I think this is because if they think their intentions were good then the means justify the ends.

This can be a slippery slope to selfishness and "la-la-la. I'm not hearing you!" *fingers in ears* type behavior. I guess admitting fault can feel shame-inducing for the ENFP, which sends them into a weird pity party style moping.

This has been my experience with ENFP. I just think that part is too bad. I wish I could give them a thicker skin and/or give them a stronger ability to see shame or guilt doesn't have to come from inadvertently hurting someone.

Fault and blame don't taste the same.

It's extremely easy for me to admit I'm wrong and that I was wrong in a situation so I don't really identify with that part. Maybe it's because I worked on doing that since an early age because I don't understand pride when it's not what we're truly feeling or what the truth is. I prefer to just get straight to the bottom line and admit I was wrong so everything will be done with.

 

[PotatoPeeler68]

Personally, I find ENFPs far more tolerable than... nearly every other personality type. You are always
talkative, but not too talkative, and have a great sense of humor and are fun to be around. Unlike some
types, you don't overthink some things, and press too hard on us. Two of my best friends are ENFPs so
you definitely are not annoying.

 

[Rosie]

When I meet and ENFP, I get along with them like a house on fire however the less mature ones can be so flaky and I find myself getting annoyed (even though I myself understand). However, I find myself forgiving them the next time I see them because they are so fun to be with. Could never date one though... haha I definitely find myself being attracted to INTJ/INFJs.

 

[beach765]

Hey guys. I am in trouble with typing one ENP right. Is it typically for ENFP to talk very much and very much about himself/herself? Well, I know one, who is just talking about herself. Very charismatic, and I like her, but I don't feel a direct connection when we meet - it's more like a monolog.

And, second question. I am no american, and I tried to translate the word "flaky". Can you tell me about some situations, you experienced with ENFPs. Maybe especially about ENFPs, you see the first time.

I think you are talking about an ESFP. They are the worst at doing horrible monologues. Unbearable!

 

[Kingu Kurimuzon]

potentially no more annoying than any other extrovert.

 

[RedAmazoneFriendZone]

potentially no more annoying than any other extrovert.

What the hell does that mean ?

I disagree with you but I do agree with Chuang Tzu 100%...

 

[Yuurei]

Depends on the person.

I tend to use the word 'Exasperating." I'm not at all equipped to deal with emotional drama.

Of course, I also don't buy into MBTI stereotyping. I've met more than a few ENFP's who have their shit together.

 

[Dreamer]

Depends on the person.

I tend to use the word 'Exasperating." I'm not at all equipped to deal with emotional drama.

Of course, I also don't buy into MBTI stereotyping. I've met more than a few ENFP's who have their shit together.

This makes a huge difference in how I interact and get along with others in the long term, let alone fellow ENFPs. Everyone has their inner battles and I’m always willing to help out a good friend, but what makes it ok for some people to think they’ll just freely vomit their emotional drama all over strangers to their hearts content if they aren’t going to actively look for ways to resolve their issues down the road? Then I start to wonder how much they’re actually wishing to change, and ultimately, the validity in their words.

 

[tomatoe]

We can be annoying to authorities and when we are told what to do. (At least for me)
But no, generally I do not consider myself to be annoying. We think deeply and actually have much more emotions than the façade we show others.

 

[Coriolis]

Annoying? Not really, at least not usually. I am more likely to find them frustrating due to lack of follow-through and ability (willingness?) to make and keep commitments. Catch them in the moment, though, and they are some of the most enjoyable, stimulating, and insightful people one can encounter.

 

[Tengri]

No, really the opposite. I've known some remarkable ENFPs and really enjoyed their quirks, unintentional honesty, and effervescent energy. My younger brother is one and he and I get get along effortlessly, partly because of our differences. They can seem distractable and lacking follow-through (mostly immaturity), but their other charming qualities overshadow quibbles like that.

 

[Mojo Jojo]

I occasionally find them a bit nonsensical, but not annoying, no. They are quirky and I appreciate that.