Your Psyche, Manners and Etiquette

[Mole]

We have a large diplomatic corps from all over the world and we formally teach them etiquettte, manners and protocol.

At school I attended manners class. Have you have attended manners class?

Do you think manners and etiquette are important?

How do you think the practice of manners and etiquette changes your psyche?

And how do you think being without manners or etiquette changes your psyche?

 

[Galena]

I have not attended manners lessons, but I did commit to study them myself after life taught me the hard way what they are for. Once you learn them, they are hard to stop doing. Harder than I would like.

They keep things running smoothly, but lessen in relevance as people get more intimate and earn real respect from one another. When that stuff guides you, you don't need to remember any rules to treat the other humanely; it comes instinctively.

 

[Mole]

I have not attended manners lessons, but I did commit to study them myself after life taught me the hard way what they are for. Once you learn them, they are hard to stop doing. Harder than I would like.

They keep things running smoothly, but lessen in relevance as people get more intimate and earn real respect from one another. When that stuff guides you, you don't need to remember any rules to treat the other humanely; it comes instinctively.

Yes, Jane Austin said, anything spoken with manners is easy to forgive.

 

[ndovjtjcaqidthi]

 

[WALMART]

I dreamt just now I was out, and had to eat carefully, for my natural inclination is to devour all food before me.

I am a barbarian, John the Savage.

 

[Coriolis]

[MENTION=3325]Mole[/MENTION]

At school I attended manners class. Have you have attended manners class?
No, but my mother was very picky about it.

Do you think manners and etiquette are important?
Manners moreso than etiquette.

How do you think the practice of manners and etiquette changes your psyche?
If anything, it likely causes you to pay more attention to other people and what their expectations are. [Not sure this is what you mean by the question.]

And how do you think being without manners or etiquette changes your psyche?
Everyone has manners. Some are good; others poor. Manners is a subset of behavior, focusing more on how we do things rather than what we do. (Our "manner" of doing it.) Etiquette especially seems externally focused, and is often arbitrary or at least artificial. Manners, by contrast, can be more internally based.

 

[Fluffywolf]

We have a large diplomatic corps from all over the world and we formally teach them etiquettte, manners and protocol.

At school I attended manners class. Have you have attended manners class?

Do you think manners and etiquette are important?

How do you think the practice of manners and etiquette changes your psyche?

And how do you think being without manners or etiquette changes your psyche?

I've been to a course for social skills as part of the education to become a professional bus driver. Overall, the class was fairly lame, much of it was pretty obvious. But it focused greatly on treating everyone as unbiased as possible and not to make assumptions. Although that already comes natural to me, I thought the focus of that at least was quite important.

I believe manners and etiquette are very important. Although I won't lie that I ultimately work for myself and my company, and the drive for my manners and etiquette are rooted in an ultimately selfish need. It is a fact that I spend a lot of time in the service of customers. I keep them happy, they keep coming back, I earn more money. I can be extremely flexible and will go to great lengths achieving this. Manners and etiquette opens up many ways of communication in general and in customer relations that is paramount.

The practice of manner and etiquette have not changed my psyche much though. At least not in the sense of radical change. But due to my mannerisms and etiquette, I am be exceptionally good at my work and that brings happiness and stability to my life.

If I did not have the will to 'put up with' customers using manners and etiquette, I would probably have failed the company many years ago and end up working some low end crappy job in which I would not have any individual worth or other ambitions. I'd probably be depressed and angry.

 

[miss fortune]

I grew up in a polite family in a polite region of the country... manners were always considered important and I got in trouble if I forgot it. I took an etiquette course in college as well, but that mostly focused on things like which fork to use for which course during formal dining.

What I have noticed, since I moved to the city and interact with a lot of people who weren't raised with the same emphasis on politeness, is that manners matter in ways that I'd never realized growing up. I use my pleases and thank yous and end up getting a lot better service than those who do not. I also get positive reactions when giving criticism (which is part of my job) instead of making people angry because I phrase things in a polite manner. Of course it helps that, as a coworker told me, I have a rather soft voice as well. I get people thanking me for thanking them

From my experience, etiquette is the rules that society imposes to keep things running smoothly. Manners are a more personal thing, more of an expression of personal consideration for others. When you use proper etiquette you are showing that "you were brought up in a 'good' family." When you use proper manners you are showing that you recognize the humanity of those with whom you are interacting... a little something that makes bitter pills a bit easier to swallow. Something about practicing good manners becomes engrained and it makes it just a little harder to forget that it's people that you are dealing with.

 

[Mole]

I grew up in a polite family in a polite region of the country... manners were always considered important and I got in trouble if I forgot it. I took an etiquette course in college as well, but that mostly focused on things like which fork to use for which course during formal dining.

What I have noticed, since I moved to the city and interact with a lot of people who weren't raised with the same emphasis on politeness, is that manners matter in ways that I'd never realized growing up. I use my pleases and thank yous and end up getting a lot better service than those who do not. I also get positive reactions when giving criticism (which is part of my job) instead of making people angry because I phrase things in a polite manner. Of course it helps that, as a coworker told me, I have a rather soft voice as well. I get people thanking me for thanking them

From my experience, etiquette is the rules that society imposes to keep things running smoothly. Manners are a more personal thing, more of an expression of personal consideration for others. When you use proper etiquette you are showing that "you were brought up in a 'good' family." When you use proper manners you are showing that you recognize the humanity of those with whom you are interacting... a little something that makes bitter pills a bit easier to swallow. Something about practicing good manners becomes engrained and it makes it just a little harder to forget that it's people that you are dealing with.

Jane Austin would love you.

And as we all love Jane Austin, we love you too.

 

[Mole]

I've been to a course for social skills as part of the education to become a professional bus driver.

All of our buses are connected to satellites and the internet, and whenever we get off the bus, everyone, and I mean everyone, says, thank you.

Perhaps we might call it high-tech etiquette.

 

[garbage]

Manners and etiquette set up social expectations. Sometimes, they are important and/or useful; sometimes, they aren't. Why they are performed is more important to learn than how to perform them.

The 'rulesets' that revolve around general courtesy and that are rooted in empathy have significance. People like to feel appreciated, and paying it forward helps us all out. Collective 'proper' etiquette can be detrimental to empathy, in fact, as it persuades us to put up fronts, thick shells that hide us from one another.

Additionally, well -- I lack patience. As such, strict and prolonged adherence to the nuances would be exhausting for me, and so I tend to avoid environments where it's a necessity.

I've never taken a class in the stuff, though I would do so out of curiosity.

 

[prplchknz]

I have manners I just don't always use them

 

[baccheion]

I never cared about these things, but I'm usually polite. It just worked out that way. What annoys me about things like these are people that obsess about them. Anything that's even a little bit off is offensive and something to get worked up about. And they wonder why the people around them are suffocating and can't wait to get away.

 

[rav3n]

Have you have attended manners class?

No.

Do you think manners and etiquette are important?

Only knowing them is important so they're reflexive in polite company.

How do you think the practice of manners and etiquette changes your psyche?

They don't but they can help during social engagements.

And how do you think being without manners or etiquette changes your psyche?

No impact internally but externally, expect to be judged as barn born and raised.

 

[Lady_X]

my grandmother had all of us attend etiquette classes.

i'm not sure how much i retained...but my parents made sure i always sat up straight and spoke properly.

they were funny lil aristocratic hippies.

 

[Galena]

Jane Austin would love you.

And as we all love Jane Austin, we love you too.

This sounds like a character from a 50s TV western. Jane Austin: Cowgirl Scribe.

 

[Mole]

my grandmother had all of us attend etiquette classes.

i'm not sure how much i retained...but my parents made sure i always sat up straight and spoke properly.

they were funny lil aristocratic hippies.

The English Aristocracy has a tradition of eccentricity.

And as Australia was founded after 100 years of the Aristocratic Ascendancy, we have inherited some of the tradition of eccentricity.

However it is an eccentricity that does not preclude good manners and etiquette.

And hippies are eccentric and mannered.

And I believe that as we move deeper into the Electric Age we will become more mannered and value etiquette.

Australians are formally informal and mannered quite like Americans of the South.

 

[Mole]

I never cared about these things, but I'm usually polite. It just worked out that way. What annoys me about things like these are people that obsess about them. Anything that's even a little bit off is offensive and something to get worked up about. And they wonder why the people around them are suffocating and can't wait to get away.

It is worthwhile caring about manners and etiquette until they become second nature and we can forget about them.

Manners and etiquette are a bit like learning to play the piano. First we practise our scales until they become second nature and we can forget about them.

So those who have to remember to practise manners and etiquette come across as awkward, without grace or charm, as someone without manners or etiquette.

 

[baccheion]

It is worthwhile caring about manners and etiquette until they become second nature and we can forget about them.

Manners and etiquette are a bit like learning to play the piano. First we practise our scales until they become second nature and we can forget about them.

So those who have to remember to practise manners and etiquette come across as awkward, without grace or charm, as someone without manners or etiquette.

What does this have to do with my post?

 

[Mole]

The essence of manners and etiquette is that they are unconscious, so we do not think of carrying out manners and etiquette. It is only bores who consciously think of manners and etiquette.

And manners and etiquette become second nature, or unconscious, by practice.

And so when manners and etiquette are second nature, we can take them for granted in any situation, and we are free to be as charming and amusing as we wish.

If we have to start remembering manners and etiquette, it is too late, we will have lost the pass, and we will be seen as awkward bores.