[INTJ] Why do people hate INTJs?

[danseen]

er.. whatever, that wasn't related to my point. Just saying why I dislike INTJs, which is the purpose of the thread.

Seemingly the opinions of others threaten you, but then that's not my issue.

 

[danseen]

lol

what's funny? your Asperger's and/or your lack of social comprehension?

 

[chubber]

what's funny? your Asperger's and/or your lack of social comprehension?

I'm a little teapot, short and stout
Here is my handle (one hand on hip), here is my spout (other arm out straight)
When I get all steamed up, hear me shout
Just tip me over and pour me out!
(As song ends, lean over and tip arm out like a spout.)

I'm a clever teapot, yes it's true
Here's an example of what I can do
I can change my handle to my spout (Switch arm positions and repeat tipping motion.)
Just tip me over and pour me out.

Bravo danseen! You are so clever. YAY!

 

[danseen]

eh? meh, i don't care. you threw a fit about an honest opinion, yet so presumably you cannot handle the basic fact others hold opinions....

If some stranger on the Web has Asperger's so be it, get treatment.

 

[chubber]

eh? meh, i don't care. you threw a fit about an honest opinion, yet so presumably you cannot handle the basic fact others hold opinions....

If some stranger on the Web has Asperger's so be it, get treatment.

Your lack of understanding amuses me. Maybe one day you will understand, what just happened.

 

[danseen]

eh? i don't care what you say. is there a reason why I must?

 

[chubber]

Yeah because I think you are wrong about INTJs only valuing people for their intelligence. The people I get along with, doesn't necessarily have high IQs in what is measurable terms of intelligence. We are practical people. It is mostly for, what works for now, nothing is permanent.

 

[Concur_Withall]

For friends, my favoured type would be an ENTJ (I respect drive) or an ESFP (I respect fun/freedom and ESFPs and INTPs both like to problem-solve and think outside the box a lot).

Don't forget the ISFJs! Someone has to do the boring work...

 

[aliattcm]

response to your question

I am close friends with a INTJ. I am an INTP and she is the closet personality type to mine I know so I don't see her in that way. I think that people describing INTJs or any type will change depending on the person judging them's type. I can see why people would devlop this assumption simply becuase INTJs are very intellectual and present themselves with a lot of poise, are very seruois or generally take charge and command what they are talking about. They are right a lot of the time and are very intimidating if they do not like you or are not comfortable around you. does this help? ask me if you have more questions

 

[Coriolis]

I am close friends with a INTJ. I am an INTP and she is the closet personality type to mine I know so I don't see her in that way. I think that people describing INTJs or any type will change depending on the person judging them's type. I can see why people would devlop this assumption simply becuase INTJs are very intellectual and present themselves with a lot of poise, are very seruois or generally take charge and command what they are talking about. They are right a lot of the time and are very intimidating if they do not like you or are not comfortable around you. does this help? ask me if you have more questions

I'll ask one. Just what makes INTJs seem intimidating, especially online where all we have is each other's typed words? This may seem obvious, but it isn't. It is more like an assumption, a stereotype people throw around but never justify with detail or example.

 

[highlander]

I'll ask one. Just what makes INTJs seem intimidating, especially online where all we have is each other's typed words? This may seem obvious, but it isn't. It is more like an assumption, a stereotype people throw around but never justify with detail or example.

A few things come to mind here. I think it may be a combination of some of these which are various times take on different levels of importance with different INTJs exhibiting more or less of these characteristics:
- Brevity and directness of communication style
- A tendency to confront when we disagree
- The context shift, which involves bringing up a different point of view
- A tendency to not acknowledge what the other person is saying
- If 10 things are said and we disagree with 1 point in 10, that's what we focus on; people don't realize we actually agree on those 9 points
- A failure to explain our thinking or reasoning

That outward communications style can mislead people into thinking we're not open to or listening to what they are saying.

 

[Coriolis]

That outward communications style can mislead people into thinking we're not open to or listening to what they are saying.

So you think the perceived lack of openness is the root of the feeling of intimidation?

 

[highlander]

So you think the perceived lack of openness is the root of the feeling of intimidation?

I do. It also helps to explain why when people get to know us better that this dissipates. It's sort of fascinating really because as a dominant perceiver and an intuitive, you're always looking for more information to form and refine a point of view, whereas others perceive you as exactly the opposite. What adds to this is the fact that INTJ is a pretty uncommon type so not only do they not know you personally but they don't know others like you, providing little basis or past history with similar thinking and communication styles, thus leading to misunderstanding.

 

[Coriolis]

I do. It also helps to explain why when people get to know us better that this dissipates. It's sort of fascinating really because as a dominant perceiver and an intuitive, you're always looking for more information to form and refine a point of view, whereas others perceive you as exactly the opposite. What adds to this is the fact that INTJ is a pretty uncommon type so not only do they not know you personally but they don't know others like you, providing little basis or past history with similar thinking and communication styles, thus leading to misunderstanding.

I have always been able to understand the misunderstanding part much better than the intimidation factor. Why, when people misunderstand us, don't they instead find us rude, or weird, or stupid, or even laughable rather than intimidating? Intimidation implies an element of fear or threat, which seems to go well beyond simple misunderstanding. Do people really feel threatened, and if so, by what??

 

[highlander]

I have always been able to understand the misunderstanding part much better than the intimidation factor. Why, when people misunderstand us, don't they instead find us rude, or weird, or stupid, or even laughable rather than intimidating? Intimidation implies an element of fear or threat, which seems to go well beyond simple misunderstanding. Do people really feel threatened, and if so, by what??

Because we fear what we don't understand?

Edit: Oh and many times they do find us rude, weird or stupid

 

[Coriolis]

Because we fear what we don't understand?

I know that is often the case, but there's got to be more to it than that. I have a hard time understanding ESFs, for instance, but I hardly find them intimidating.

 

[chubber]

I do. It also helps to explain why when people get to know us better that this dissipates. It's sort of fascinating really because as a dominant perceiver and an intuitive, you're always looking for more information to form and refine a point of view, whereas others perceive you as exactly the opposite. What adds to this is the fact that INTJ is a pretty uncommon type so not only do they not know you personally but they don't know others like you, providing little basis or past history with similar thinking and communication styles, thus leading to misunderstanding.

Because we fear what we don't understand?

Edit: Oh and many times they do find us rude, weird or stupid

That sums it up nicely.

I know that is often the case, but there's got to be more to it than that. I have a hard time understanding ESFs, for instance, but I hardly find them intimidating.

Why do you have a hard time understanding them? Can you give us an example?

 

[Coriolis]

Why do you have a hard time understanding them? Can you give us an example?

Speaking, of course, only of the ones I have interacted with directly: I cannot understand why they make the choices they do, how they like what they like, how they even get by in life sometimes. On a more immediate level, often it seems like we are just talking past each other, as if they didn't even hear much less understand what I said. This is even with straightforward logistical matters, not deep or esoteric topics. For instance, we could be planning a social event, and the other person expresses concern that the coffee won't be ready on time because the large coffee urn takes so long to brew. I will point out that this won't be a problem if someone arrives 30 minutes early to start it, and even offer to do so myself, but the other person will just keep saying, "the coffee won't be ready on time". I just want to shake some sense into them, but usually just give up in frustration and leave them to their own devices.

 

[mhc]

They seem to be viewed as narcissistic elitists by many people of other types (or perhaps even by some within their own type), and I'm wondering how accurate these perceptions really may be, or why people actually develop them to begin with.

maybe, people do not liked to be judged, as they prefer to think they know who they are based on their own judgements? also, maybe in introversion, ones feelings are expressed in the motives of ones actions, wether they are hidden in logic or not? causing the introvert to not understand why others have been emotionally moved by a seemingly logical action?

then perhaps, the only way for the cycle of hate and judgement to be broken, would be for the one judging to realise one has judged and been hated, and the one who has hated to realise that one has hated for being judged?

and further i add, would personality typing be relevant if everyone practiced acceptance, for why would one judge, causing introversion, if one had not been judged in the first place? as above all, any being will seek out acceptance or acknowledgement, by any means possible. after all, what greater fear is there than that of being alone?

 

[RaptorWizard]

maybe, people do not liked to be judged, as they prefer to think they know who they are based on their own judgements? also, maybe in introversion, ones feelings are expressed in the motives of ones actions, wether they are hidden in logic or not? causing the introvert to not understand why others have been emotionally moved by a seemingly logical action?

Hmm, perhaps an introverted focus could make one more detached from the feelings of others, possibly leading to actions that promote negative feedback.

then perhaps, the only way for the cycle of hate and judgement to be broken, would be for the one judging to realise one has judged and been hated, and the one who has hated to realise that one has hated for being judged?

Well, I don't think the problem is in the judgment, so much as it's in the lack of receptiveness to criticism and the acceptance of individuality.