Thinking about dropping out of college

[mintleaf]

I'm a few weeks into my freshman year of college and I'm starting to think that this might not be for me. This might seem like an overreaction to the initial anxiety and disorientation of a new experience, but I've tried (probably too hard) to keep a positive attitude, and I've been thinking it through, and I don't think that this is what I want right now. The alternate plan I'm considering is to move by myself to a large city, working minimum wage jobs and volunteering until I have a better idea of how I want to spend the next phase of my life.

To clarify, this might just mean taking a gap year or two, not necessarily forgoing college altogether.

Here's an abridged version of my reasoning:

• Even though I've met some awesome people here, I’m really not enjoying campus life in general, and I don't see myself acclimating to it anytime soon.
• This college plan sounds thrilling to me, while college has always seemed, and now feels more overwhelming than exciting.
• Student debt and the pressure to choose, before I have significant real-world experience, a major which might not be useful for my future career
• I've always been mostly self-educated and I don't think that the structure and pressure of higher education would be helpful or necessary, unless I knew for certain that I was interested in something that would require a pre-professional track (I don't really know how else to explain what I mean...in other words, I know I'm not going to be a lawyer, educator, or medical professional, etc.)
• And if I change my mind, I can always go back to school later.
• This would force me out of my comfort zone and force me to work as hard as I can
• I love independence and adventure and even college life, so far, feels stifling (frat parties don't count as adventure for me)
• I don't have a car, so access to public transport would be great

Plans (?):

• Move to a larger city in the Midwest.
  Why a large city: The transportation thing, all of the reasons everyone gives for moving to a big city
  Why the Midwest: It's not too far from home, and I like it
• Possibilities: So far I've only looked into Omaha and Lincoln, Nebraska. From what I've read, both are thriving, and I've been wanting to visit Nebraska for a while. Somewhere in Colorado might also be a good idea even though it's not in the Midwest. I have family friends in Colorado Springs, and living within a few hours from them would make my parents more comfortable. Madison sounds interesting too.
• Use graduation money on bus fare and first rent payments (my family would be able to support me, too, but I'd rather cover as much as I can on my own)

Cons:

• I would be wasting the money I've already spent on this university
• I might get lost in the shuffle living in a city on my own -- I don't know how I'd meet people my age if I wasn't going to school
• I'm having a relapse of depression and anxiety, which were never completely dealt with anyway. Not sure of the degree, but it's at least not severe. No self-hatred, no suicidal thoughts...just tiredness, flatness, moments of not being able to breathe properly, and feelings of hopelessness. I feel stuck and I know it's not purely situational, but I feel like this could be a really good thing. Also, if I did drop out and move, I'd see my doctor beforehand and probably ask to be put back on an antidepressant just in case.

Some things I need to know:

• Whether this is stupid and unfeasible
• How much I should pay for a studio apartment (probably furnished) if I'm working a minimum wage job
• What cities do you recommend?
• What do I need to know about personal finance in order to do this?
• Could I get good job without a college degree (what I'd consider a good job is somewhat more clearly defined here)
• Probably a lot of other stuff that isn't coming to mind at the moment

I want to talk to my academic advisor about this, but I wanted to run it past some strangers before I waste her time with a potentially insane idea.

Thank you!

 

[ThatsWhatHeSaid]

College can be really alienating, especially for introverts who don't warm up to people fast. It's like everyone else is part of a club (greek society) and you don't qualify. That's how I felt at least.

Eventually I made friends with my roommates and with one person who hung out at the arcade playing puzzle games. He had some seriously foul language that I enjoyed, and he was smart. I got conversation with him that I didn't really get elsewhere, despite it being a college environment.

From my sophomore year and on, I became close with my housemates and neighbors. Met some guitarist at a party one day and we became close friends. Still friends to this day.

I guess my point is, you usually end up making friends in unexpected ways and eventually you carve a bizarre, amorphous niche that only accommodates you and your friends. But it eventually feels like home and you start to build...yourself, your life, your mind, your relationships... To me, that's a big part of what college is, a massive socialization experiment. It's not a bad thing imo.

I don't know you. Maybe you'd be better off in the end quitting college or taking a break. That wouldn't work for me because I'd probably get too lazy to return. But, if what you're experiencing stems out of a sense of disorientation and loneliness, then maybe give it a little more time.

 

[Honor]

i absolutely loved college and even i didn't feel at home until the end of the second semester of freshman year. you are having a normal reaction. it is a major life transition. you are moving away from all the bonds you made throughout your childhood and you may be in a place far away from where you grew up. way too early to throw the towel in. it's time to find some people/activities that you like.

ideas:
greek life
campus religious groups
RA teams

join something where you feel like you fit in and where people make you feel like you belong.

 

[mintleaf]

College can be really alienating, especially for introverts who don't warm up to people fast. It's like everyone else is part of a club (greek society) and you don't qualify. That's how I felt at least.

Eventually I made friends with my roommates and with one person who hung out at the arcade playing puzzle games. He had some seriously foul language that I enjoyed, and he was smart. I got conversation with him that I didn't really get elsewhere, despite it being a college environment.

From my sophomore year and on, I became close with my housemates and neighbors. Met some guitarist at a party one day and we became close friends. Still friends to this day.

I guess my point is, you usually end up making friends in unexpected ways and eventually you carve a bizarre, amorphous niche that only accommodates you and your friends. But it eventually feels like home and you start to build...yourself, your life, your mind, your relationships... To me, that's a big part of what college is, a massive socialization experiment. It's not a bad thing imo.

I don't know you. Maybe you'd be better off in the end quitting college or taking a break. That wouldn't work for me because I'd probably get too lazy to return. But, if what you're experiencing stems out of a sense of disorientation and loneliness, then maybe give it a little more time.

The bolded is at least part of it. About how much time would you suggest?

Thanks for the response -- it was helpful

 

[Honor]

Stay!

i love concise-ness.

 

[netzealot]

I think you made thread because on some level you know you should stay, but you can't reconcile the problem you're having so you're looking beyond yourself for reasons not to give up.

I'm having a relapse of depression and anxiety, which were never completely dealt with anyway.

I think this is probably the root of your issue. What's important to remember is that this will be the case no matter where you are. True, college can be an intimidating environment, especially at first, and this exacerbates an existing problem. However, you must acknowledge how depression is mis-coloring your perception, and you will see things through this tainted view no matter where you go.

The best way to get a hold of reason beyond how you feel now about the difficulty you're facing is to focus on fixing the real problem, not the symptoms, and not the things which make the symptoms worse. Believe it or not, resolving the root issue will probably fix the problems you're having faster and leave you without the mess of uprooting yourself. Also, college offers you more in terms of long-term opportunity to give balance to your life. I know moving to a city seems attractive, but consider how isolated you will be. You'd only be running from the real problem which is not college or your environment.

"Wherever you go, there you are"

 

[figsfiggyfigs]

You'll find it difficult finding a job. Most job applications ask for Bdegrees and experience.

 

[highlander]

Definitely talk to the advisor. I'm no expert but it seems like when people are depressed, they lose motivation so that might have something to do with it.

 

[kyuuei]

If you WANT to go to college, there is no reason why you should not. Mid-west's cost of living is much lower than other parts of the US, and student debt is definitely a reason to change your strategy.

But I don't see why you aren't marrying these plans together. There is nothing stopping you from both.

- Apply to a non-stressful job in the city of your choice.
- Get it and move there, getting an apartment not far away.
- Find the nearest community college, and take classes part time. Not overwhelming, and you'll still be moving forward. Pell grants cover the costs entirely of community college classes and books so there's no money out of pocket. Especially with this being your freshman year.. That's quite a lot of money you are spending living on campus and going to school, paying campus costs for the SAME classes. It's English 101 whether you're at a 30k college or a 2k one. CC will get you the same education for a fraction of the cost. State colleges will offset the cost even more, and unless you're going for a prestigious career field (like MD status or something) the student loans are not worth it. With some careful planning and saving, you could have your entire bachelor's degree paid for. It might take you longer getting it than others staying at the college, but look at it this way: They go to college for 4 years, and spend the next 10 paying off loans. You go to college for 8 years, and your education hardly costed you anything.

Community colleges are more flexible with work schedules, have mini-semesters that can keep you from falling behind, and they have work certification programs as well so if you wanted a job that didn't suck right away, you could detour and spend a year or two getting a certification before you went forward in your studies.

My personal warnings based on experience:
Don't move until you have a job lined up. It helps with getting an apartment a lot. And maybe you'll feel more motivated knowing you are trying to make that happen while you're waiting.
Don't use your grad money for rent. Put it into savings--things ALWAYS happen.. you lose jobs, you get tickets, shit happens. Having an emergency fund could be a huge asset to you, and it is worth waiting a while to save money for rent.
Especially with community college.. Drop money and pay for the classes outright even though you'll be getting financial aid. Let the financial aid reimburse your funds. CCs tend to be more disorganized on their paperwork due to the load of students they have. It is way less stressful to register early, pay, and let the funds hit the bank later (and let them float to the next semester so you're only out of pocket once.)
Scout out your cities. Seriously, it is worth taking the money for a small trip over to them. Just stay the weekend, looking around and taking notes all over different parts. Ask around to people who live there. I would have thought Paris a miserable place to live before I went there--and now that I went I can tell why people love living there and don't mind the 1000E price tag on tiny ass apartments. (You might already be familiar with these cities, but if not, it's good to mention anyways.)
Pick an area that has everything you need close by. Even if you have public transportation, not having things like subways and such can make for an annoying dilemma every time you want to go somewhere. You might end up with some real cabin fever if every place you want to go to is a 25 minute bus ride + the 15-20 minutes of potentially waiting too. It's worth paying an extra $100 in rent if you can get to anywhere you like going on foot within 20 minutes.


Whatever you decide to do, good luck with it. I will say that not having a Bachelor's degree in something has held me back from several jobs I really wanted before.

 

[mintleaf]

I think you made thread because on some level you know you should stay, but you can't reconcile the problem you're having so you're looking beyond yourself for reasons not to give up.



I think this is probably the root of your issue. What's important to remember is that this will be the case no matter where you are. True, college can be an intimidating environment, especially at first, and this exacerbates an existing problem. However, you must acknowledge how depression is mis-coloring your perception, and you will see things through this tainted view no matter where you go.

The best way to get a hold of reason beyond how you feel now about the difficulty you're facing is to focus on fixing the real problem, not the symptoms, and not the things which make the symptoms worse. Believe it or not, resolving the root issue will probably fix the problems you're having faster and leave you without the mess of uprooting yourself. Also, college offers you more in terms of long-term opportunity to give balance to your life. I know moving to a city seems attractive, but consider how isolated you will be. You'd only be running from the real problem which is not college or your environment.

"Wherever you go, there you are"

Wasn't anticipating how quickly my question would turn from whether I should drop out to how I should treat my depression and anxiety. I'm not ruling it out, but I'm going to schedule appointments with my advisor and school counselling center first.

Thanks to everyone who responded.

 

[mintleaf]

If you WANT to go to college, there is no reason why you should not. Mid-west's cost of living is much lower than other parts of the US, and student debt is definitely a reason to change your strategy.

But I don't see why you aren't marrying these plans together. There is nothing stopping you from both.

- Apply to a non-stressful job in the city of your choice.
- Get it and move there, getting an apartment not far away.
- Find the nearest community college nearby, and take classes part time. Not overwhelming, and you'll still be moving forward. Pell grants cover the costs entirely of community college classes and books so there's no money out of pocket. Especially with this being your freshman year.. That's quite a lot of money you are spending living on campus and paying campus costs for the SAME classes. It's English 101 whether you're at a 30k college or a 2k one.

You can take classes on the weekend days and still have most of weekend afternoons and evenings to yourself, and still have a relatively low stress lifestyle in a city close to family.

That might be a good idea. I like the school I'm going to now, but it's not worth 10k a year. I don't see why I was set on a liberal arts school to begin with.

I just don't know how I would choose a city, and I'm kind of biased against community colleges...does anyone have any experience with them?

 

[Beorn]

[*]I would be wasting the money I've already spent on this university

This should not be a factor in your decision. It's purely emotional to consider the money you've spent. There's no rational reason to consider past costs when making decisions about the future. This is what is called a sunk cost. If you spent four years and thousands of dollars on a finance degree you would be aware of this and be able to make other forum members aware of this as well even if you never used that degree to get a job.

If you're questioning whether you want to be there and have no clear purpose for being at college I would say go ahead and leave. This early you may get a full tuition refund or at least a high percentage returned.

I hope you can see a doctor soon. I can tell you from personal experience trying to get your medications straight during first semester can be really hard.

 

[kyuuei]

That might be a good idea. I like the school I'm going to now, but it's not worth 10k a year. I don't see why I was set on a liberal arts school to begin with.

I just don't know how I would choose a city, and I'm kind of biased against community colleges...does anyone have any experience with them?

That's literally all the experience I've had with college so far. I'm trying to get into a university currently and I am finding it a nightmare in comparison to my current CC. What is the bias against them? That they're cheaper, and thus less effective? I assure you the education you receive at them is no more or less than at a higher university. What you personally put into your own education is what you will take away from it. You can have a bad professor at either.

A liberal art's degree at 10k/year.. I'm assuming that's without your dormitory expenses, food, etc? Or maybe so? Even so.. 10k/year x 4 is a LOT of debt racked up in a very short amount of time. And will you have a nice paying job in the field you were educated in after 4 years? The chances are slim.. and even if you do land a job you love in that field, it takes time to earn the money necessary to live comfortably while paying off those loans.

As I have stated before on this forum in other places, college is a business transaction. You need to know what you need from it before getting yourself into it, or you will surely fail. (Maybe not classes, but overall.) If you want education for the sake of education, do it as cheap as possible. If you want a job in a field, do it as cheaply and efficiently as possible. And if you want prestige and experience, choose a career that will pay back that prestige without killing yourself in the process.

If you're not even sure what city you really want to be at, then I highly advise you to stay put where you are. Take some serious effort into calculating what you're getting yourself into, and whether you ought to stay at home and do CC + work (which I highly recommend) or if you're set on moving to a city to be on your own (in which case, I agree with the large city choice.) and nothing will sway you.

You sound a little to wishy-washy on the subject to just up-and-move now though. Talk to your parents, or a trusted friend, and figure out what is really going to make you happy. It is important to go to college--but if you would have been happier going to half-classes and living a little in the process, no one is going to blame you.. and better to know now, than when you're destroying your own GPA because you realize you can't handle 4 college classes at once.

 

[HongDou]

JW, when did you start school? It's gonna be my third week here on Thursday and I'm not really having any problems anymore. It did allow me to reconsider my type though. Switched from sx/so to so/sx.

My friend wanted to drop out as well and I'd be lying if I said I didn't at least think of it (or consider community college near home). It wasn't til her fourth week I think until she started making friends and having a bit more fun. She even has her own fuck buddy now. But things are getting better and now I'm starting to appreciate the freedom of being away from my family and being independent. If you need someone to talk about this with you can always send me a PM. Going through a new experience with someone else makes things a lot easier.

 

[mintleaf]

That's literally all the experience I've had with college so far. I'm trying to get into a university currently and I am finding it a nightmare in comparison to my current CC. What is the bias against them? That they're cheaper, and thus less effective? I assure you the education you receive at them is no more or less than at a higher university. What you personally put into your own education is what you will take away from it. You can have a bad professor at either.

A liberal art's degree at 10k/year.. I'm assuming that's without your dormitory expenses, food, etc? Or maybe so? Even so.. 10k/year x 4 is a LOT of debt racked up in a very short amount of time. And will you have a nice paying job in the field you were educated in after 4 years? The chances are slim.. and even if you do land a job you love in that field, it takes time to earn the money necessary to live comfortably while paying off those loans.

As I have stated before on this forum in other places, college is a business transaction. You need to know what you need from it before getting yourself into it, or you will surely fail. (Maybe not classes, but overall.) If you want education for the sake of education, do it as cheap as possible. If you want a job in a field, do it as cheaply and efficiently as possible. And if you want prestige and experience, choose a career that will pay back that prestige without killing yourself in the process.

If you're not even sure what city you really want to be at, then I highly advise you to stay put where you are. Take some serious effort into calculating what you're getting yourself into, and whether you ought to stay at home and do CC + work (which I highly recommend) or if you're set on moving to a city to be on your own (in which case, I agree with the large city choice.) and nothing will sway you.

You sound a little to wishy-washy on the subject to just up-and-move now though. Talk to your parents, or a trusted friend, and figure out what is really going to make you happy. It is important to go to college--but if you would have been happier going to half-classes and living a little in the process, no one is going to blame you.. and better to know now, than when you're destroying your own GPA because you realize you can't handle 4 college classes at once.

I definitely don't want to live at home. I just don't know how to decide where else to live. I'm from easternmost Ohio, so I'm not familiar with the real midwest. (Just knew I didn't want to go south or too far west, and I've heard the cost of living in New England is pretty high. And I'm not ruling out Pennsylvania until I do more research.) As far as touring random cities -- again, I wouldn't know where to start, and that would be a lengthy trip.

And it's 10k total, but yeah, it's way too much. They have excellent job placement rates, but I doubt I'll go into a lucrative field, so I'd still have serious debt for years.

 

[kyuuei]

I definitely don't want to live at home. I just don't know how to decide where else to live. I'm from easternmost Ohio, so I'm not familiar with the real midwest. (Just knew I didn't want to go south or too far west, and I've heard the cost of living in New England is pretty high. And I'm not ruling out Pennsylvania until I do more research.) As far as touring random cities -- again, I wouldn't know where to start, and that would be a lengthy trip.

And it's 10k total, but yeah, it's way too much. They have excellent job placement rates, but I doubt I'll go into a lucrative field, so I'd still have serious debt for years.

Most colleges can get a student *a* job. But getting them one that's $40k a year? Not likely in your field. And $20k/year means years of interest payments that will make you cry at night. (Ask me how I know.)

Start online! Look up cities with the best public transportation since that's super important. See what weather you want to live in--do you like mild weather, snow, heat, etc? See which cities are friendly to students (lots of student discounts, free events, etc.). There are plenty of places that qualify in all of those categories.. So maybe pick the one closest to home so you aren't so far removed from family, and Bam! Visit *that* city in person to make your decision for you. No need to visit tons of cities.. just to tour the one you choose first to make sure it is the right decision for you.

 

[skylights]

My 2 cents as someone who went through college, got a degree that was interesting but not a passion, spent a couple years out of school working minimum-wage jobs, and is now working and going to school for her 2nd degree:

I think you should finish up at least this semester. It seems the transition to college is hard and alienating for the vast majority of people, even if many of them do a good job of concealing it. When it hit me, I holed up in my room and cried for an entire weekend. Virtually everyone I know has gone through some variety of feeling ambivalence about college a few weeks in.

There's no rational reason to consider past costs when making decisions about the future. This is what is called a sunk cost [...] This early you may get a full tuition refund or at least a high percentage returned.

This is generally true - but unfortunately at this point I'm afraid most schools have gotten past drop-add and most schools will not refund the money. Though of course it is worth checking with the specific school in question.

If it's true that your money is non-refundable, [MENTION=17424]decrescendo[/MENTION], you might as well get the credits you've already paid for. That, plus finishing out the semester will give you time to figure out if it's more acclimation trouble or if it's more that college isn't right for you at this point. If you're feeling unstimulated and worried about finances, you could look into an on-campus job, or a really low-key job nearby. You might as well challenge yourself to get into it and do as well as you possibly can - at very worst you'll end up with a semester's worth of good-grade credits - and getting into another school as a transfer student with a transcript of As is much easier than with a transcript of Ws. Consider it 5 months of trial and error in exchange for 4 years of certainty. You also never know what you might learn about yourself during those 5 months. College has a peculiar way of delivering life lessons in pretty parcels at your feet.

As for the other path, being in the "real world" (a phrase I thought stupid and overblown until I actually experienced it) and working a minimum-wage job you're not passionate about is a huge smack in the face, and it really sucks. I'm not saying don't do it - I think it's a hugely valuable perspective shift - but it really, really sucks. I had a depressive period after I was out of school for a while, and getting a minimum-wage job actually helped pull me out of that, giving me a social life and an externally-enforced reason to raise the bar, but it's hard. Customers/clients are fickle and petty; managers are demanding and cocky; policies are idiotic and convoluted, and people who will stand up for you are few and far between. It can be exciting and empowering, but it can also be soul-sucking and unforgiving. I thought with only five 8-hour days a week that I would have plenty of free time, but then I started coming home every day absolutely exhausted, feet hurting, back hurting, neck hurting, and later started being asked to stay more and more after I got promoted. You also may or may not make enough money to actually save up. I went into my "break" from school thinking I'd be saving up, and while I'm pretty proud that I'm mostly self-sufficient and paying my own way through post-bac school, my budget is fairly tight. Moving into your own place, especially in a new area, has a lot of "start-up" costs. Like how I just dropped $60 on bathroom cleaning supplies. Ugh.

Something that I was not at all aware of, also, is that when you get into the minimum-wage workplace you're going to have to actively fight the inertia tendency - lots and lots and lots of people go into minimum wage jobs thinking they'll be there for a short time and then a decade later they're wondering what happened. I'm not talking about uneducated people, either - these are people who were at the top of their class in high school, got their bachelor's, got their master's, used to be accountants or teachers or business owners. One aspect of that is as time goes by, going back to school becomes a more daunting prospect - at first you have very little to lose; you're not rooted anywhere. It also feels like you're still at the beginning. Once you're a few years into a job, and you've become skilled and experienced and you have a certain quality of life thanks to your income and status, the notion of starting at square one all over again becomes way less appealing, even if it's for something you're passionate about. And later you may have more commitments - a serious significant other, hobbies that you're not interested in dropping, and even pets, kids, or parents to take care of. You also do "lose" time in the sense that if you go ahead with school now, in 6 years you could be 2 years into your career and 20% of the way done with paying back your loans. It's painful for me to look at my friend who back in college went the same path I'm on now. She'll be starting on her second year of her career soon, while I'm hoping to be out of school by 2016. Like me, if you work for two years and then go to school, in 6 years you will just be graduating. The amount you make after getting your degree will probably outstrip the amount you make prior to getting it, so when you look at the net sum, you are effectively losing money. (Which accounts for her new house and shiny new sports car.)

Of course, this is not true if you graduate with a degree that you will not use. So if you get through the semester and decide that you want to wait and work, then I think you should go for it, but really, truly understand what you are getting into. It's not pretty out there, and it's increasingly hard to escape it. My final piece of advice from experience is that I went through school assuming that my career would choose me, instead of vice versa. I'd heard so much about people "finding their callings" that I thought I just had to wait on mine and pray to the career gods. No surprise, it never "hit" me. So I would definitely recommend focused career exploration, and starting early on. If your school has a career advising center, you could even get started now and see what they have to say about your future options. You might want to look at internships - paid internships especially are fantastic.

I think speaking to your school advisor is a good idea, too, and this is not a crazy thought. It's wise provided that you have sufficiently thought it through and understand exactly what you are choosing and what your plan is. If you decide to leave, @kyuuei's advice is excellent. You could work on a fairly low-key certification of something interesting to you at a community college and pursue a trade that would give you better pay and better prestige in a year or so, too, regardless of whether you eventually decide to return to a university or not.

 

[Metamorphosis]

I'm a few weeks into my freshman year of college and I'm starting to think that this might not be for me. This might seem like an overreaction to the initial anxiety and disorientation of a new experience, but I've tried (probably too hard) to keep a positive attitude, and I've been thinking it through, and I don't think that this is what I want right now. The alternate plan I'm considering is to move by myself to a large city, working minimum wage jobs and volunteering until I have a better idea of how I want to spend the next phase of my life.

To clarify, this might just mean taking a gap year or two, not necessarily forgoing college altogether.

Here's an abridged version of my reasoning:

• This college plan sounds thrilling to me, while college has always seemed, and now feels more overwhelming than exciting.
• I love independence and adventure and even college life, so far, feels stifling (frat parties don't count as adventure for me)

Some people here have already offered good advice, so I'll just say this...If you think that college feels stifling and is more overwhelming than exciting, good luck surviving on a minimum wage job.

 

[FemMecha]

There are some good online programs that are accredited and connected to a university. That might work better for you, although it has its own set of difficulties.

I would be sure to close, within driving distance, of someone you are close to and you know loves and supports you. If you move to a new city, can you get a roommate or someone you know to move there also? It isn't a good idea to be completed isolated when feeling depression and anxiety.

Edit: I will say that not all environments have the same effect on a person who is struggling with depression/anxiety. I was away at a school during my late teens where i had no close friend, and that horribly exacerbated the problem. I do not recommend that at all. There needs to be someone whom you can cry in front of or can get you help if you need it. I was at college with my sister for a few years and that made all the difference. As far as living costs, having roommates, living with a relative, or as a home care helper for the elderly, or as a nanny for children, are all ways to cut down on housing costs. Being enrolled in school - at least in online courses can help continuing progress, so if there comes a point you feel more stabilized, you could transfer credits back into a traditional degree program. Or if in a traditional program, you could go part-time. It is important to stay reasonably busy, but with activities that are very low stress and not physically, emotionally, or intellectually too intense.

 

[Sunny Ghost]

College can be really alienating, especially for introverts who don't warm up to people fast. It's like everyone else is part of a club (greek society) and you don't qualify. That's how I felt at least.

Eventually I made friends with my roommates and with one person who hung out at the arcade playing puzzle games. He had some seriously foul language that I enjoyed, and he was smart. I got conversation with him that I didn't really get elsewhere, despite it being a college environment.

From my sophomore year and on, I became close with my housemates and neighbors. Met some guitarist at a party one day and we became close friends. Still friends to this day.

I guess my point is, you usually end up making friends in unexpected ways and eventually you carve a bizarre, amorphous niche that only accommodates you and your friends. But it eventually feels like home and you start to build...yourself, your life, your mind, your relationships... To me, that's a big part of what college is, a massive socialization experiment. It's not a bad thing imo.

I don't know you. Maybe you'd be better off in the end quitting college or taking a break. That wouldn't work for me because I'd probably get too lazy to return. But, if what you're experiencing stems out of a sense of disorientation and loneliness, then maybe give it a little more time.

I second this.

I feel like passing up on college is passing up on a wonderful experience. It just doesn't seem that way at first. I was incredibly timid and shy and constantly anxious, and often wanted to run to the nearest restroom stall and cry, and possibly actually really did do that at least once. But after a while, I did find my place in the mix and came to love the experience. The classes, the professors, the dorms, my friends, the first taste of freedom outside of my parents home, the parties, and so forth.