When you have a crush, does it last for a long or short unit of time?
Ok, this one is hard to explain, in that I don't actually have crushes on people, infact I am oblivious to men until they begin to pursue me or make their interest known, at which point I will either be into it or not. The last time I had a crush on someone I was 14, and I couldn't bear to be anywhere near the boy responsible for causing butterflies in my stomach as it seemed so out of control a feeling, and I didn't like it.
I may think a man is attractive, funny, smart, but I don;t develop crushes that I am aware of. I admire from a far, but not in the same way as a crush in which girls are like "I really realy like him, I want to ask him out"
However once (through being made aware) you have my attention and a crush (if you want to call it that) develops for me, it truthfully varies as to how long it lasts, I could lose interest rapidly, as sad to say my interest is only a match to what I am being shown. (the poem below describes my love/crush)
Do you view your crush as an idealized version of her/himself, oblivious to the real person? Or is it just that you're so forgiving that you don't care about the faults that you see existing?
I have only ever idealised/forgave/empathised with one man in my life, my ex husband, everybody else I lost interest in within a few months as I refuse to be rejected/hurt and would dump anyone at the first sign of not matching up to what I idealised, I didn't allow myself to form attachments so it was easy.
With my ex husband, that was when I became the ultimate idealist, projecting my feelings onto him, confusing myself that they were reciprocated in the exact same way. So it's not that I didn;t see the flaws or the faults, it's that I empathised with his past and the reasons he was the way he is, hence I forgave often hoping to heal him through the power of my love lol (naive)
How much does this crush influence your decisions? (As an NT, I think it influences my feelings but not my final decision. It just makes the decision-making-process take longer b/c of all the feeling getting in the way.)
It heavily influences my decisions, I seriously prayed to allah/god to remove my feelings for him completely, I prayed for that often, as it would have made leaving that much easier. Fi is phooey at times you know lol
If You Forget Me
I want you to know
one thing.
You know how this is:
if I look
at the crystal moon, at the red branch
of the slow autumn at my window,
if I touch
near the fire
the impalpable ash
or the wrinkled body of the log,
everything carries me to you,
as if everything that exists,
aromas, light, metals,
were little boats
that sail
toward those isles of yours that wait for me.
Well, now,
if little by little you stop loving me
I shall stop loving you little by little.
If suddenly
you forget me
do not look for me,
for I shall already have forgotten you.
If you think it long and mad,
the wind of banners
that passes through my life,
and you decide
to leave me at the shore
of the heart where I have roots,
remember
that on that day,
at that hour,
I shall lift my arms
and my roots will set off
to seek another land.
But
if each day,
each hour,
you feel that you are destined for me
with implacable sweetness,
if each day a flower
climbs up to your lips to seek me,
ah my love, ah my own,
in me all that fire is repeated,
in me nothing is extinguished or forgotten,
my love feeds on your love, beloved,
and as long as you live it will be in your arms
without leaving mine.
Pablo Neruda
That is how my desire goes.