[NT] "Your intelligence is quite attractive..."

[Ginkgo]

"Your intelligence is quite attractive."
"Oh yeah? Well you should see my penis!"
"OH MAN IS THAT THE TIME WELL ITS BEEN GREAT"
"No, seriously, it's not where you'd expect it..."
"*intrigued*"

I say go for it.

 

[The Ü™]

So here's how it went:

She: Your intelligence is quite attractive.

Me: It is, isn't it?

She: Yes.​

I think it was like 3 days ago or something like that when this went down. Haven't spoken since, because I was in a coma.

 

[Entropic]

Well, I wouldn't know how to respond to this either because I'm terrible at responding to compliments but it is a compliment. Take it as such. You should be happy she's complimenting you at all although I personally prefer relationships with little or no compliments being delivered. Just makes for a less awkward situation.

 

[violet_crown]

I've got the benefit of experience to know that I'm attractive enough to have pretty much whatever I want however I want it, but I've always gone for brains over beauty. The disparity between my standards for looks and those for I hold for intelligence and achievement is pretty much a running joke among my friends and family. Smart is sexy enough to me that it's pretty much the whole ball game when someone's really got it. Toss in equal parts swagger and sensitivity in for good measure, and you pretty much have me at hello.


But, feel free to ignore all that, Uber. I'm with [MENTION=13260]Rasofy[/MENTION] on this one. The bitch is after your kidneys.

 

[Coriolis]

Well, I wouldn't know how to respond to this either because I'm terrible at responding to compliments but it is a compliment. Take it as such. You should be happy she's complimenting you at all although I personally prefer relationships with little or no compliments being delivered. Just makes for a less awkward situation.

There is a fine line between compliments, and appreciation, and positive feedback. In any case, I prefer it to have substance and detail. That makes it both more credible and more useful. The closer I am to someone, the more interested I am in knowing how they see me, and what they value in me. This shows me how well they understand me, reassures me as to the basis for our relationship, and also gives me insight into what they think is important. I can use that to make sure I am contributing to the relationship in ways that will be meaningful to them.

 

[Rasofy]

So here's how it went:

She: Your intelligence is quite attractive.

Me: It is, isn't it?

She: Yes.​

She gave you a compliment, and you basically dismissed the compliment by implying that what she said is oh, so obvious that doesn't even need to be mentioned.

Thus, she probably a) felt stupid for having mentioned that and b) concluded that you're arrogant.

 

[Entropic]

There is a fine line between compliments, and appreciation, and positive feedback. In any case, I prefer it to have substance and detail. That makes it both more credible and more useful. The closer I am to someone, the more interested I am in knowing how they see me, and what they value in me. This shows me how well they understand me, reassures me as to the basis for our relationship, and also gives me insight into what they think is important. I can use that to make sure I am contributing to the relationship in ways that will be meaningful to them.

In other words, you are looking for feedback?

 

[netzealot]

Reading too far into people's comments is a pitfall. You are prone to cling to what tears you down just as much as a compliment.

 

[Coriolis]

In other words, you are looking for feedback?

I may not be deliberately looking for it, but I find constructive feedback more useful than vague compliments or empty flattery.

 

[Entropic]

I may not be deliberately looking for it, but I find constructive feedback more useful than vague compliments or empty flattery.

I would find that more relevant if it is an area I would seek expertise in. I don't see the problems with compliments being vague but more that I often fail to see what it is that would lead someone to express such a thing.

 

[The Ü™]

She gave you a compliment, and you basically dismissed the compliment by implying that what she said is oh, so obvious that doesn't even need to be mentioned.

Well...isn't it obvious?

 

[Rasofy]

Well...isn't it obvious?

Would you rather have a polite or an honest answer?

Although to be fair, it's high likely that you have some sort of autism, so maybe you deserve a discount when it comes to human interactions.

 

[Il Morto Che Parla]

Agree with what [MENTION=195]Jaguar[/MENTION] said.

...that is what she said to me. She said nothing about me being OCMâ„¢ or anything along those lines, which I was a bit offended by, considering that is the aspect of myself I was working on the most (for at least two years, I think), but anyway, the nature of this comment sent to me is very difficult to respond to. How would you respond to similar comments? Would you say "Thanks" or something more?

Well, the "compliment" made me mostly angry at myself, because it tells me that if she's not complimenting my looks, I have yet to reach PürOCM™, and if she's not complimenting me on something I want to be complimented on, it would be an insult, would it not? I know I'm exceptionally intelligent, and she's merely stating the obvious.

Oh yeah, and how would you respond to it?

You sound like a woman dude. That is your problem right there, it's nothing to do with looks.

 

[The Ü™]

Of course, human interactions don't really count when it comes to intelligence.

 

[Il Morto Che Parla]

What I meant was that people aren't usually honest when they compliment you on your personality or intelligence. They just seem to be looking for something positive to say.

This is true for men's compliments to women.

But women are less likely to compliment a guy they like in the first place, because they know we will take it as a blatant invitation. So it doesn't apply so much.

 

[The Ü™]

Would you rather have a polite or an honest answer?

Why? What was your honest answer gonna be?

 

[Nicodemus]

Well...isn't it obvious?

I would go so far as to say that if a girl compliments your intelligence, you should be suspicious.

 

[Rasofy]

Why? What was your honest answer gonna be?

Your consistent pattern of asking questions and disregarding answers summarily eliminates "obviously intelligent".

As for "intelligent", you seem to have a preference for shallow discussions about yourself - e.g. "wish me happy birthday", "today is my xº anniversary in this forum"," do I need a plastic surgery", "how can I get more attention", which suggests an average intelligence at most.

 

[The Ü™]

Your consistent pattern of asking questions and disregarding answers summarily eliminates "obviously intelligent".

As for "intelligent", you seem to have a preference for shallow discussions about yourself - e.g. "wish me happy birthday", "today is my xº anniversary in this forum"," do I need a plastic surgery", "how can I get more attention", which suggests an average intelligence at most.

What does a 140+ IQ suggest?

 

[Coriolis]

Your consistent pattern of asking questions and disregarding answers summarily eliminates "obviously intelligent".

As for "intelligent", you seem to have a preference for shallow discussions about yourself - e.g. "wish me happy birthday", "today is my xº anniversary in this forum"," do I need a plastic surgery", "how can I get more attention", which suggests an average intelligence at most.

Plus a persistent need for external affirmation.