I can understand what you mean. I think as an INFP who is extremely shy at times, and so concerned with what other people think, I can relate to what you're saying.
I don't think it's a dysfunctional thing, more of a survivalist domtert mentality/attitude resulting from being overwhelmed by the world, and as a 4w5, I can relate to that as well.
Except as an INFP, my domtert is Fi-Si which means that I hold onto intense feelings of the past through a negative detailed view of reality in the past. And through this domtert, I became even more likely to shut off a certain individual or person who exhibited certain features, and maybe even had predisposed hateful thoughts toward them because they acted like a negative character from my past. Oddly enough, one thing that cured me of negative past thoughts was to listen to music and apply it to my own past. It worked and developed my auxiliary Ne for some weird reason. I think it was because whenever I listened to music, I would always use my imagination to dream up false fantasies regarding myself that concerned other people expectations of how other people expected me to act, - like by imagining a situation where I was singing in front of people in a high school, that I was glad to have transferred from. i was clearly keeping these fantasies so i could keep my hopes up as to one day letting the negative people from the past know who i truly am. I'm theorizing that even though I viewed this as a gateway from the harshness of reality, a constant repeating dependency on negatively stimulated thoughts concerning other people's expectations (especially people from my past) actually let the domtert attitude flourish (as it connected old feelings and old memories - FiSi)
I'm not saying do the same thing, but maybe there is something that is driving the mentality that is making you feel negative now. And judging by my own experience, maybe it's related to some area of your life you find comfort in, or some area of your life that your mind goes to to get away from reality. What my mind did was lessen other people's expectations, to accumulate false fulfillment over fantasized realities which where actually connecting up negative views of the past and hence, a negative loop. What I'm saying is not easy and my viewpoint could be very subjective, but give it a try, because as a 4w5 I think I can majorly connect with this issue you're having.
And btw, there's absolutely nothing wrong with the way you feel/think as much as you think it out to be, it's all probably due to the introverted lens you are taking. Like I heard another person on this typeC say, introverts think reality is a reflection of themselves. The truth is that is exactly what makes them clear introverts. the thing is, most people consider that contemplation a strength, mainly because they can't allow themselves to think like you do, it's just the fact that you haven't been in their shoes to realize that fully. We're all a part of society whether we like it or not, and I think introverts like you and me have a unfair advantage because we can accumulate a perception of reality without even having to fully pay attention and gain energy from outside occurrences like an extrovert does. We have s major drive, and we don't even realize that.
Sorry if the iPad screwed some words over aha.
hopefully it didn't get in the way of my pointless rambling.
