Short Rant- people telling people they're too skinny

[cascadeco]

Actually, some chick I was seated beside on a plane the other day commented on my choice of snack [a South Beach Diet whipped chocolate almond bar] - "OMG you don't need to eat THAT- you're skinny enough!!! Want any of these?" She offered me some peanut M&M's or Cheez-It's.
I guess she was trying to be nice, but why should I have to explain that I just LIKE the taste of the bar, & a whole box of them were on sale? Why can't someone at a healthy weight make a slightly healthier choice in chocolatey food and not be looked at like they're starving themselves, or doing something wrong? If an overweight person was eating my snack, people may nod in approval at th

Yeah... that can be annoying.

Similar happened in the office in Minnesota... there were commonly donuts, or breakfast treats now and then, which I pretty much always declined. I really just don't want to eat that stuff. I've always aimed to eat healthier, and I guess having not had a lot of these types of foods over the years, and not being a snacker, I don't 'miss' it or crave it.

Whenever that sort of comment was made to me, I would internally think, 'yeah, well, PART of why I'm thin is *because* of my eating habits/ the fact I exercise.' Ones' eating choices = a lifestyle; I don't understand the mentality or belief (a lot of it is propagated by advertising/the industry, I suppose) that you only eat well for that set period of time you're trying to lose weight, and then once you reach your ideal weight you can suddenly eat and do anything? It makes no sense.

 

[1487610420]

Yeah... that can be annoying.

Similar happened in the office in Minnesota... there were commonly donuts, or breakfast treats now and then, which I pretty much always declined. I really just don't want to eat that stuff. I've always aimed to eat healthier, and I guess having not had a lot of these types of foods over the years, and not being a snacker, I don't 'miss' it or crave it.

Whenever that sort of comment was made to me, I would internally think, 'yeah, well, PART of why I'm thin is *because* of my eating habits/ the fact I exercise.' Ones' eating choices = a lifestyle; I don't understand the mentality or belief (a lot of it is propagated by advertising/the industry, I suppose) that you only eat well for that set period of time you're trying to lose weight, and then once you reach your ideal weight you can suddenly eat and do anything? It makes no sense.

Yep. People and their accepted belief systems. It's a big energetic mental co-dependency they aren't capable/willing to give up on.

 

[cascadeco]

Yep. People and their accepted belief systems. It's a big energetic mental co-dependency they aren't capable/willing to give up on.

Well I don't know about the co-dependency thing, as I do think a lot of it is how most diets are presented, and rampant mis-information/messaging and cultural norms in a particular region, as tied to diet, behavior, lifestyle, all of that. I just think that, for whatever reason (which I don't understand), a lot of people think that a 'Diet' - a change to their lifestyle/habits, if you will - is only a temporary thing, to lose weight. When in reality it's really an indefinite/permanent thing, if you want the weight to stay low.

 

[1487610420]

Well I don't know about the co-dependency thing, as I do think a lot of it is how most diets are presented, and rampant mis-information/messaging and cultural norms in a particular region, as tied to diet, behavior, lifestyle, all of that. I just think that, for whatever reason (which I don't understand), a lot of people think that a 'Diet' - a change to their lifestyle/habits, if you will - is only a temporary thing, to lose weight. When in reality it's really an indefinite/permanent thing, if you want the weight to stay low.

Agreed, it's likely tied to the feel-good & lazy blend of propaganda. My referencing was more towards the awareness and willpower of the recipient, regardless of the external environment, but the two often go hand-in-hand.

 

[skylights]

The frustrating thing for those of us who aren't so skinny, though, is as kids a lot of our skinny friends DID eat whatever the hell they wanted. And lots of it. And at 8 you're not really cognitively well-equipped to think, well, I recognize the inherent differences in metabolism that can exist between two bodies and I understand that even though it feels injust, I really need to avoid Oreos even though my best friend can scarf down half a box and still be the little willow that she is. So inequalities develop in weight and eating habits early, and by the time you realize you need to adjust your habits, you've been eating the way you have for at least 12 years, and that's going to be pretty hard to change.

This holds true both for heavier kids and skinny kids who become heavier adults, and even just for skinny kids who eat junk food all the time. If I'm a parent someday, I plan to be somewhat strict and very upfront about food and nutrition - teaching kids what types of food are best, how much food is appropriate, and keeping sweets as a treat and not a regular occurrence. If individuals want to deviate later, that's their personal call, but it seems better-advised to raise your kid to eat healthily and set them in the right habits to begin with.

 

[Tigerlily]

Actually, I would love for someone to tell me I'm too skinny.

 

[entropie]

Be glad you dont look skinheadly

 

[greenfairy]

Be glad you dont look skinheadly

How does one look skinheadly?

 

[Tigerlily]

How does one look skinheadly?

hahaha! I asked him the same thing. I think he meant to say "skinheady", instead of "skinheadly", aka Skinhead. Either way, poor example.

 

[Lexicon]

Ones' eating choices = a lifestyle; I don't understand the mentality or belief (a lot of it is propagated by advertising/the industry, I suppose) that you only eat well for that set period of time you're trying to lose weight, and then once you reach your ideal weight you can suddenly eat and do anything? It makes no sense.

Yeah, I think the fad diet industry plays a significant role in perpetuating that skewed perception of 'how to eat,' so to speak. Along with our culture's generally impatient, IMMEDIATE RESULTS, Polaroid Instamatic expectations. Everyone wants a quick fix, and the industry is more than happy to feed it to them.

 

[sprinkles]

The frustrating thing for those of us who aren't so skinny, though, is as kids a lot of our skinny friends DID eat whatever the hell they wanted. And lots of it. And at 8 you're not really cognitively well-equipped to think, well, I recognize the inherent differences in metabolism that can exist between two bodies and I understand that even though it feels injust, I really need to avoid Oreos even though my best friend can scarf down half a box and still be the little willow that she is. So inequalities develop in weight and eating habits early, and by the time you realize you need to adjust your habits, you've been eating the way you have for at least 12 years, and that's going to be pretty hard to change.

This holds true both for heavier kids and skinny kids who become heavier adults, and even just for skinny kids who eat junk food all the time. If I'm a parent someday, I plan to be somewhat strict and very upfront about food and nutrition - teaching kids what types of food are best, how much food is appropriate, and keeping sweets as a treat and not a regular occurrence. If individuals want to deviate later, that's their personal call, but it seems better-advised to raise your kid to eat healthily and set them in the right habits to begin with.

When I was a kid I'd eat a whole pack of Oreos, but that was because it had been a year or two since I had one and would be another year or two before I'd see another one.

 

[Such Irony]

I got this now and then (or some version of it) while living in Minnesota, as the working world in Minnesota is filled with a pretty large proportion of people who are, if not overweight, at least out of shape; being very thin is not much of a norm there.

However I haven't gotten it a single time now that I'm living in Colorado - because tons of people here are thin / in shape.

I've read Minnesota is actually a pretty fit state overall. Maybe it depends where in Minnesota. This study ranks Minnesota as the 6th fittest state.

Colorado is #4.

http://www.webmd.com/diet/ss/slideshow-fattest-and-fittest-states

 

[Society]

i don't think i've seen a picture of [MENTION=15773]greenfairy[/MENTION] - but if you want to know why people do it:

possibility -1: they genuinely think you would be more attractive if you had more weight, and having had plenty of people calling them too fat, they indulge in the opportunity to see someone who "suffers" from the opposite problem.

possibility 0: they are doing so tongue in cheek as a compliment shaped as an insult, and you are Fe-failing to notice the tone <- pretty much what i tend to do.

possibility +1: they wish they could loose weight as easily, and - to not of your fault - experiencing your very physical presence as a reminder of their flaw, subconsciously want to take revenge on you making them feel bad about their physical self by doing it to you verbally.


bottom line is: yes, it is exactly like calling fat people fat, and yes, when you are fat people are going to constantly call you fat, so why expect otherwise on the other end? welcome to society, it judges you.

 

[Chaotic Harmony]

My SIL deals with this on a daily basis. She's 5'6" and weighs 95 lbs. She eats way more than I do. She's just got metabolism through the roof like most of her family did when they were her age and younger. Plus she has a very small frame.

 

[greenfairy]

i don't think i've seen a picture of [MENTION=15773]greenfairy[/MENTION] - but if you want to know why people do it:

http://www.typologycentral.com/forums/showthread.php?t=23261&page=91&p=1886847#post1886847

possibility -1: they genuinely think you would be more attractive if you had more weight, and having had plenty of people calling them too fat, they indulge in the opportunity to see someone who "suffers" from the opposite problem.

I'm sure this is the case with some people. But it's still rude and none of their business what I look like.

possibility 0: they are doing so tongue in cheek as a compliment shaped as an insult, and you are Fe-failing to notice the tone <- pretty much what i tend to do.

This might happen some of the time...

possibility +1: they wish they could loose weight as easily, and - to not of your fault - experiencing your very physical presence as a reminder of their flaw, subconsciously want to take revenge on you making them feel bad about their physical self by doing it to you verbally.

That's my suspicion a lot of the time; and they have no right to do it. It's pretty immature and hypocritical.

bottom line is: yes, it is exactly like calling fat people fat, and yes, when you are fat people are going to constantly call you fat, so why expect otherwise on the other end? welcome to society, it judges you.

Bottom line is it's not acceptable behavior, and people need to stop. And I would be justified in showing them what they're doing if they do it to me.

 

[Society]

http://www.typologycentral.com/forums/showthread.php?t=23261&page=91&p=1886847#post1886847

i think we can officially eliminate possibility -1.

But it's still rude and none of their business what I look like.

yep.

It's pretty immature and hypocritical.

right again.

and people need to stop.

...why would they? people are rude, mean, immature and hypocritical to each other all the time - to you, to each other - if one of them stops doing crap like that, they will still get other people being mean towards them. you can judge how ugly it looks from afar, but take another step back and you'll see that for every punch someone gives is a punch they got somewhere else, like a really bad economy with an interest rate for every exchange as people 1up each other in cruelty, each singular feeling they got it from "them" and feeling justified in giving it back to "them", despite rarely being the same person.

And I would be justified in showing them what they're doing if they do it to me.

exactly.

 

[greenfairy]

...why would they? people are rude, mean, immature and hypocritical to each other all the time - to you, to each other - if one of them stops doing crap like that, they will still get other people being mean towards them. you can judge how ugly it looks from afar, but take another step back and you'll see that for every punch someone gives is a punch they got somewhere else, like a really bad economy with an interest rate for every exchange as people 1up each other in cruelty, each singular feeling they got it from "them" and feeling justified in giving it back to "them", despite rarely being the same person.

I guess it's just my Fe giving me faith in humanity.

Another productive 2 post exchange! Perhaps this is the XNTP dynamic.

 

[greenfairy]

Fo shizzle.

 

[Ivy]

I like that!!!

 

[Chaotic Harmony]

I have to say, for some reason women are way more vicious to other women than men are towards other men. Like the image you posted above... Some chubbier girls call skinny girls too skinny, and some skinnier girls call chubbier girls too fat. It seems that women are way more likely to judge other women than men are to judge other men!