[MBTI General] The ENFP and The ISFP

[JunkFood]

even though INTJs are supposed to be the ENFPs natural partner or whatever, i personally feel for me it's ISFPs i love everything about ISFPs! i'm not really a person who harmonizes well with J types after a long period of time. I feel like this pairing is rarely talked about. Whether it be about romance, sex & intimacy, or just friendship and plain interaction in general. so i invite all ENFPs and ISFPs to come and share their experiences with one another...mwahaha. Or even if you're not one of these two types and you have gotten the opportunity to get an outsiders perspective, i also invite you to share your knowledge yo!~ Also, i really wanna make some ISFP friends since i don't know any in real life ;___;

 

[Foxxi]

The ENFPs I know are wonderful! The two I know are very chill and laidback, but have quite the silly side to themselves. We are able to talk about many different things and voice our opinions openly and without judgement to each other. One thing I do find a little tough though is that the two ENFPs I know seem to never want to talk about more "private" subjects, such as their romantic feelings/things like that. My one very good female ENFP friend will hardly say anything about her boyfriend to me unless I specifically ask, even though I know she adores him.
Otherwise, you all are a very fun bunch C:

 

[citizen cane]

Thanks, I guess?

 

[JunkFood]

The ENFPs I know are wonderful! The two I know are very chill and laidback, but have quite the silly side to themselves. We are able to talk about many different things and voice our opinions openly and without judgement to each other. One thing I do find a little tough though is that the two ENFPs I know seem to never want to talk about more "private" subjects, such as their romantic feelings/things like that. My one very good female ENFP friend will hardly say anything about her boyfriend to me unless I specifically ask, even though I know she adores him.
Otherwise, you all are a very fun bunch C:

thank you for sharing~ i found this response very interesting :3 i know that for me if you get me to talk the deeper things, that's sometimes all i want to talk about lol. i love talking about and sharing feelings! haha. especially when my thoughts and feelings arent being judged. or my opinions arent being made out to be wrong just because they arent similar to the persons i'm talking to. i guess it just depends on who i'm sharing them with? i have to be really comfortable with you because it's like allowing you into a whole different universe and if you violate anything it'll be really hard for me to bounce back from that...you know? if that makes since? lol. i feel things very intensely! but i find this to be really cool because i would have thought that the roles would have been reversed? haha. surprises. surprises.

Thanks, I guess?

awww did i come off as creepy? too much flattery?! haha. sorry~



btw, thanks for replying you guys lol

 

[Thalassa]

I love ENFPs as friends, especially women, I feel very close to them. Well, some of them. I can think of at least one I'm not terribly fond of.

As for romantic partners I tend to be attracted to SJs and NTJs. I've had flings with ISTPs but they don't last.

I actually am very suspicious of ENFP menfolk, find them flaky. I don't think NF men are "solid" enough for me, in general. Just a personal preference, no offense to NF men in general, who can be lovely people (though some of them are irritating, just like any type can be).

 

[mmhmm]

I love ENFPs as friends, especially women, I feel very close to them. Well, some of them. I can think of at least one I'm not terribly fond of.

oooh whooo. names! gossip. i like.

 

[Foxxi]

thank you for sharing~ i found this response very interesting :3 i know that for me if you get me to talk the deeper things, that's sometimes all i want to talk about lol. i love talking about and sharing feelings! haha. especially when my thoughts and feelings arent being judged. or my opinions arent being made out to be wrong just because they arent similar to the persons i'm talking to. i guess it just depends on who i'm sharing them with? i have to be really comfortable with you because it's like allowing you into a whole different universe and if you violate anything it'll be really hard for me to bounce back from that...you know? if that makes since? lol. i feel things very intensely! but i find this to be really cool because i would have thought that the roles would have been reversed? haha. surprises. surprises.

Haha, I would have expected the roles of my ENFP friend and I to be reversed (privacy wise), too! I think the problem we do have about talking about private things and such is that the guy she is dating now was interested in me before he knew that she was interested in him. We both had no idea he was interested in me until he told me, and then I told her because I knew she liked him. Not long after though, they started dating so it worked out very well. C: Quite an awkward thing going on there, but we all three are still very good friends.

 

[JunkFood]

I love ENFPs as friends, especially women, I feel very close to them. Well, some of them. I can think of at least one I'm not terribly fond of.

As for romantic partners I tend to be attracted to SJs and NTJs. I've had flings with ISTPs but they don't last.

I actually am very suspicious of ENFP menfolk, find them flaky. I don't think NF men are "solid" enough for me, in general. Just a personal preference, no offense to NF men in general, who can be lovely people (though some of them are irritating, just like any type can be).

thanks for responding!~ i'm glad to hear that you have at least some ENFPs in your life that you can tolerate lol. and i can see where you might get the whole flakiness vibe from. i'm not a 100% consistent person. i'm definitely a person who just disappears sometimes. but what exactly do mean by flaky? do mean like emotionally or not being in the relationship 100%? like monogamy? i'm highly curious if you don't mind me asking thank you for your very fresh response!

Haha, I would have expected the roles of my ENFP friend and I to be reversed (privacy wise), too! I think the problem we do have about talking about private things and such is that the guy she is dating now was interested in me before he knew that she was interested in him. We both had no idea he was interested in me until he told me, and then I told her because I knew she liked him. Not long after though, they started dating so it worked out very well. C: Quite an awkward thing going on there, but we all three are still very good friends.

i can definitely see why discussing her romantic life with you may awkward now lol. especially if her boyfriend still finds you attractive or she doesn't know that you are 100% not attracted to him or something. it probably might make her feel tense or uncomfortable? i don't know haha. it is very alarming (in a fresh way) that the roles are reversed, isn't it? unless that's all she is choosy about when it comes to sharing and communicating. i feel like i've learned something new! lol.

 

[Thalassa]

thanks for responding!~ i'm glad to hear that you have at least some ENFPs in your life that you can tolerate lol. and i can see where you might get the whole flakiness vibe from. i'm not a 100% consistent person. i'm definitely a person who just disappears sometimes. but what exactly do mean by flaky? do mean like emotionally or not being in the relationship 100%? like monogamy? i'm highly curious if you don't mind me asking thank you for your very fresh response!

Oh I have ENFPs I more than tolerate I have ENFPs that I adore.

But I need my men to be solid. I want TJs, mostly, or SFJs that have back-bone. I'm independent and feisty, but I'm also traditionally feminine in some ways, and I am attracted to men who are either dominant teachers or who are caretakers. I also need someone who can "handle" me with facts, reason, logic...even an SFJ can throw facts at me. It's hard to explain, but I just ...yeah.

 

[Foxxi]

i can definitely see why discussing her romantic life with you may awkward now lol. especially if her boyfriend still finds you attractive or she doesn't know that you are 100% not attracted to him or something. it probably might make her feel tense or uncomfortable? i don't know haha. it is very alarming (in a fresh way) that the roles are reversed, isn't it? unless that's all she is choosy about when it comes to sharing and communicating. i feel like i've learned something new! lol.

I think it does make her feel a little uncomfortable when we are all three together, and then it makes me feel uncomfortable and we all end up acting rather awkwardly. Despite all that, he and her are very attached to one another. C:
Haha, I agree! I've found that the most private people in my life, besides myself as an ISFP, are ENFPs and ISFJs :3

 

[Elfboy]

Oh I have ENFPs I more than tolerate I have ENFPs that I adore.

But I need my men to be solid. I want TJs, mostly, or SFJs that have back-bone. I'm independent and feisty, but I'm also traditionally feminine in some ways, and I am attracted to men who are either dominant teachers or who are caretakers. I also need someone who can "handle" me with facts, reason, logic...even an SFJ can throw facts at me. It's hard to explain, but I just ...yeah.

due to our exceptional communication skills and understanding, lots of NF males (but certainly not the majority) can develop a bit of a superiority complex, especially NFJ males. they're nice at first, but sometimes they think they're the friggin Messiah or something.

 

[Thalassa]

I think it does make her feel a little uncomfortable when we are all three together, and then it makes me feel uncomfortable and we all end up acting rather awkwardly. Despite all that, he and her are very attached to one another. C:
Haha, I agree! I've found that the most private people in my life, besides myself as an ISFP, are ENFPs and ISFJs :3

I can seem very private and want to be left alone in person, but I've always been a performer, I'm kind of an exhibitionist, and I talk about my life openly on the Intertardz. I iz storyteller.

Probably why people think I'm ESFP.

 

[Thalassa]

due to our exceptional communication skills and understanding, lots of NF males (but certainly not the majority) can develop a bit of a superiority complex, especially NFJ males. they're nice at first, but sometimes they think they're the friggin Messiah or something.

Yeah I don't like the smug superiority complex that comes across as more counselor than teacher or concrete caretaker. I like that SFJs are concrete caretakers and TJs are more like teachers, though they can be caretaking in practical ways if they want to be.

I don't like the feeling I'm being counseled, I don't like the feeling I'm being attended to for my spiritual growth, I don't want that kind of relationship with my sexual partner. I also don't like men who are fruitier than I am. I'm fairly fact-based, though I can be whimsical and impulsive. Like I enjoyed JTG's sense of humor and playfulness, but also his curmudgeonly common sense and predictability. My ESFJ ex that I was with for six years was a concrete caretaker, like he literally looked after my physical needs, or he was fun to talk to and play with, and also had a kind of curmudgeonly common sense about him, when he wasn't acting all emo and having a crazy day. Both of them also had very well developed aesthetic senses and showed me things. All of the NTJ men I've liked have taught me things, and the ENTJ kind of looked after me, in a practical, non-gushy companionable sort of way. He was really a great person to talk to and hang out with.

I hate to stereotype all NF men but I really have yet to meet one that I was strongly attracted to, to the point of wanting to be with them.

 

[Elfboy]

Yeah I don't like the smug superiority complex that comes across as more counselor than teacher or concrete caretaker. I like that SFJs are concrete caretakers and TJs are more like teachers, though they can be caretaking in practical ways if they want to be. I don't like the feeling I'm being counseled, I don't like the feeling I'm being attended to for my spiritual growth, I don't want that kind of relationship with my sexual partner.

seriously. that shit is annoying. some of the most controlling people I've ever met tried to come at me with the counselor/"spiritual guide" angle. if you fall into that role naturally throughout the course of the relationship, that's one thing, but generally when someone tries to push such a dynamic early in a relationship, I tend to think egotistical and controlling.
that said, TJs are great information sources, but teachers? no. teaching requires empathy, understanding and being able to communicate in a way that is easy for the pupil to understand. there are exceptions, but, for the most part, teaching is the domain of NFs.

I also don't like men who are fruitier than I am. I'm fairly fact-based, though I can be whimsical and impulsive. Like I enjoyed JTG's sense of humor and playfulness, but also his curmudgeonly common sense and predictability. My ESFJ ex that I was with for six years was a concrete caretaker, like he literally looked after my physical needs, or he was fun to talk to and play with, and also had a kind of curmudgeonly common sense about him, when he wasn't acting all emo and having a crazy day. Both of them also had very well developed aesthetic senses and showed me things. All of the NTJ men I've liked have taught me things, and the ENTJ kind of looked after me, in a practical, non-gushy companionable sort of way. He was really a great person to talk to and hang out with.

I certainly am not attracted to "fruity" but I could go with a guy with a bit more of an emotional side. I can be a bit cold and icy, so I could use someone a bit more "human" on the other end of the relationship

I hate to stereotype all NF men but I really have yet to meet one that I was strongly attracted to, to the point of wanting to be with them.

we're not for everyone

 

[Thalassa]

seriously. that shit is annoying. some of the most controlling people I've ever met tried to come at me with the counselor/"spiritual guide" angle. if you fall into that role naturally throughout the course of the relationship, that's one thing, but generally when someone tries to push such a dynamic early in a relationship, I tend to think egotistical and controlling.

Yeah. And if I do want any of that, as what a girl friend should be doing. As in my platonic female friends or sister. Or mom.

that said, TJs are great information sources, but teachers? no. teaching requires empathy, understanding and being able to communicate in a way that is easy for the pupil to understand. there are exceptions, but, for the most part, teaching is the domain of NFs.

I like the way NTJs teach, some of them. Some of them are douchey. I also like the way some NTPs teach. It really depends on the individual. Like I knew a guy who used to call me "little girl" who is this ENTP computer programmer, and he kind of got on my nerves. I think his wife is an INFJ.

But I know an INTP guy, who I was just platonic friends with, who was an excellent teacher to me when I was younger. As I got older, though, and he got older (he's like early 40's now) his Fe agenda started to grate on me, and I'm not longer acquainted with him.

I certainly am not attracted to "fruity" but I could go with a guy with a bit more of an emotional side. I can be a bit cold and icy, so I could use someone a bit more "human" on the other end of the relationship

Yeah, I'm the emo one. I need someone else to be the rational thinking judgey person.

we're not for everyone

Well you're gay, so it doesn't matter to me, I like you as a friend.

 

[Elfboy]

Yeah. And if I do want any of that, as what a girl friend should be doing. As in my platonic female friends or sister. Or mom.

I can be a wonderful therapist to friends, but I don't have that "take you under my wing" approach that NFJs seem to use a lot. I'm there to offer advice to any of my friends, but that doesn't mean I'm going to treat them like hatchlings and insult their intelligence.

I like the way NTJs teach, some of them. Some of them are douchey. I also like the way some NTPs teach. It really depends on the individual. Like I knew a guy who used to call me "little girl" who is this ENTP computer programmer, and he kind of got on my nerves. I think his wife is an INFJ.

NTs make everything too complicated. they usually are not good at simplifying things the way NFPs are good at. occasionally they make good teachers, but generally not without learning to understand people better. I dunno, perhaps it's just my style. for me, teaching is somewhat of an intimate procedure where you really get to know the person and find the best way for them personally to understand the information. I suppose this wouldn't work for more pragmatically oriented training though, I can't imagine what it would be like if my sales manager was like this LOL

But I know an INTP guy, who I was just platonic friends with, who was an excellent teacher to me when I was younger. As I got older, though, and he got older (he's like early 40's now) his Fe agenda started to grate on me, and I'm not longer acquainted with him.

yes, those can get quite annoying

Yeah, I'm the emo one. I need someone else to be the rational thinking judgey person.

I am a rational person with mushy tendencies. I need a mushy person with rational tendencies.

Well you're gay, so it doesn't matter to me, I like you as a friend.

I wasn't talking about me.

 

[Thalassa]

I can be a wonderful therapist to friends, but I don't have that "take you under my wing" approach that NFJs seem to use a lot. I'm there to offer advice to any of my friends, but that doesn't mean I'm going to treat them like hatchlings and insult their intelligence.


NTs make everything too complicated. they usually are not good at simplifying things the way NFPs are good at. occasionally they make good teachers, but generally not without learning to understand people better. I dunno, perhaps it's just my style. for me, teaching is somewhat of an intimate procedure where you really get to know the person and find the best way for them personally to understand the information. I suppose this wouldn't work for more pragmatically oriented training though, I can't imagine what it would be like if my sales manager was like this LOL

Actually Simulated World is a great teacher, but he has had to grow into it. He's still a tiny bit rough around the edges, but he's got teaching in him, and he's an ENTP. He'll probably be best in his 30's and beyond.

My INTJ math professor was an incredible person. He taught me so much about Russian history, culture, and language, and also just about personal stuff. Not to mention that he's the first math professor I'd had since the 9th grade who I think actually taught me math, and I got it. I consider him one of THE BEST teachers I've ever had...and he was also my friend. It's ironic because so many of his students saw him as creepy, weird, odd, or just quiet and not especially approachable.

I've also learned from some of the NTs on forums. Others I would like to take over my knee and spank.

I am a rational person with mushy tendencies. I need a mushy person with rational tendencies.

I'm the opposite of that.

I wasn't talking about me.

I know, but you said "we" are not for everybody, so I guess I was just clarifying that I do like some NF men as friends and as people, obviously, including yourself.

 

[Kurt.Is.God]

The people I've been obsessed with have all been ISFPs, ISTPs, and INTJs. I like them in a very idealized way because they're different from me--whereas for INFPs or ENTPs I've met I've just gotten close to them really fast. I eventually got close to an INTJ and an ISTP friend but the ISFPs I've liked have always just stayed these remote objects of worship.

I think have a hard time dealing with their coolness (or the coolness of SFPs in general). It makes me feel self-conscious. I don't mind my style of interacting with people, which involves playing with a lot of what they say ("I can't sleep either. I'm not trying very hard to sleep. Are you trying?" (ESTJ friend says "No, I'm not.")), and my N friends and STP friends can return it, but it usually ends conversations with SFs. I really don't know why.

 

[JunkFood]

I think it does make her feel a little uncomfortable when we are all three together, and then it makes me feel uncomfortable and we all end up acting rather awkwardly. Despite all that, he and her are very attached to one another. C:
Haha, I agree! I've found that the most private people in my life, besides myself as an ISFP, are ENFPs and ISFJs :3

i actually found this to be true for me too! it's something about these three types that seems like they keep a certain amount of themselves held or kept to themselves. like they have a certain part of themselves that no one else has access to. i know i do! haha. but, hopefully the awkwardness between you three will break soon and you all will be able to relax and just enjoy each others company

Oh I have ENFPs I more than tolerate I have ENFPs that I adore.

But I need my men to be solid. I want TJs, mostly, or SFJs that have back-bone. I'm independent and feisty, but I'm also traditionally feminine in some ways, and I am attracted to men who are either dominant teachers or who are caretakers. I also need someone who can "handle" me with facts, reason, logic...even an SFJ can throw facts at me. It's hard to explain, but I just ...yeah.

aaaah~ i see where you're coming from and i understand your preference
some people like certain things for certain reasons. thank you for sharing this with me.
i get where you are coming from now.

we're not for everyone

there is definitely some truth to this...well when it comes to me i think there is.

The people I've been obsessed with have all been ISFPs, ISTPs, and INTJs. I like them in a very idealized way because they're different from me--whereas for INFPs or ENTPs I've met I've just gotten close to them really fast. I eventually got close to an INTJ and an ISTP friend but the ISFPs I've liked have always just stayed these remote objects of worship.

I think have a hard time dealing with their coolness (or the coolness of SFPs in general). It makes me feel self-conscious. I don't mind my style of interacting with people, which involves playing with a lot of what they say ("I can't sleep either. I'm not trying very hard to sleep. Are you trying?" (ESTJ friend says "No, I'm not.")), and my N friends and STP friends can return it, but it usually ends conversations with SFs. I really don't know why.

i really can relate to this in a weird way. i really don't even understand why i just have this huge draw to ISFPs and i haven't even met one in real life yet. but the ones i've ever befriended online, i just can't get enough of their personalities haha. it's kind of like the description in socionics. ENFPs and ISFPs are supposed to be Semi-Duals. they describe their partnership as a "moth being drawn to a flame" but then some one gets burnt and it puts them right back to were they started and the cycle repeats itself. but i haven't been burnt yet xP can you explain to me what you meant by ISFPs staying these "remote objects of worship." haha. and awww your sense of humor is probably cute~ maybe they just don't get it?

 

[Kurt.Is.God]

i really can relate to this in a weird way. i really don't even understand why i just have this huge draw to ISFPs and i haven't even met one in real life yet. but the ones i've ever befriended online, i just can't get enough of their personalities haha. it's kind of like the description in socionics. ENFPs and ISFPs are supposed to be Semi-Duals. they describe their partnership as a "moth being drawn to a flame" but then some one gets burnt and it puts them right back to were they started and the cycle repeats itself. but i haven't been burnt yet xP can you explain to me what you meant by ISFPs staying these "remote objects of worship." haha. and awww your sense of humor is probably cute~ maybe they just don't get it?

Actually one of my friends whom I typed as an ISTP might be an ISFP. ISFPs usually value similar things as I do (Fi?), and even want to do similar things in life--road trips, meet people, music festivals. But the ones I've been obsessed with are all ridiculously smooth and nice to me in a way that makes me feel inadequate. We also can't talk about very much because even if we share common interests, the way we approach them differs a lot--I'm usually talking to my ENTP friend about the aesthetics behind certain samples in songs, or visual symbols in movies, and this doesn't work with ISFPs for some reason. One ISFP told his friend that he didn't see how anyone could hate me, so apparently he didn't think I was that bad. But it's almost like we're on different wavelengths. My ENTP friend gets along with them really well, though his upbringing has given him amazing social skills, while my social skills are crap--I wonder if this is part of it.