[ENFJ] Advice regarding ENFJs from ENFJs

[Domino]

Just out of curiosity, what's your Enneagram type, Heather?

 

[Neutralpov]

Enn. 1 so/sx/sp like Protean. I have tested 1 every time with a 2 wing. Really high EJ ( and sometimes Te in third place on the cognitive function orders) but make no mistake I am NF squishy in my personal life and thoughts without a doubt.

 

[Domino]

I was wondering why you reminded me of Protean! *laughs*

Lucky girl - my Te is floating face down in the bottom of the pool.

 

[Neutralpov]

Te does jack for me in my personal life, I think it is more because of graduate school, work, etc. It is overrated. and I relate to you so much in threads sometimes too. The being too much, fiery, and negativity tank, some old stuff I was like Someone Gets IT! Also could be life experiences; since I haven't had the experiences you had I wonder if I am just Domino on delay?

 

[MacGuffin]

I was wondering why you reminded me of Protean! *laughs*

Lucky girl - my Te is floating face down in the bottom of the pool.

 

[Neutralpov]

Oh MacGuffin, I just read the entire mindmate thread on INTPCentral yesterday because I met one IRL. You are all over it! Very very enlightening thread

 

[Domino]

Yes, he spreads his sewer clown bacteria in many places. After all, petri dishes are lined with sad sad clown tears.

 

[Domino]

Te does jack for me in my personal life,

How so? *curious* I ask because one of my best friends is an ENTJ and expresses the same dismay over her Te.

I think it is more because of graduate school, work, etc. It is overrated. and I relate to you so much in threads sometimes too. The being too much, fiery, and negativity tank, some old stuff I was like Someone Gets IT! Also could be life experiences; since I haven't had the experiences you had I wonder if I am just Domino on delay?

Oh no no, I think all ENFJs have a common thread, for certain. *nods* There's an essential part of our being that we all share, which makes us into the Almighty Society that is ENFJdom. (Almighty!) I doubt very much that you'd turn into the freakshow I've become (us 4s aren't always that stable emotionally) but I would very much like to know you as a 1 better. Ones seem like monoliths to me, stronger and taller against the sky.

 

[Neutralpov]

I will have to think about the Te part and get back. The second is in a PM if you think it should be posted let me know.

 

[Domino]

I want to know how other enfjs cope with being fully known and then rejected. How do you respond?

As a 4, I wear a series of masks. Someone made a thread recently about being a 4 and having 5's try to "unmask" them, but I've found that any type will attempt this with me, mostly out of curiosity, sometimes out of malicious intent. Unmasking me is something akin to dragging a turtle out of it's shell and expecting it to live.

Being fully known is a rare experience, and one fraught with danger. To be handed back, for any reason, after such a moment would be horrifying.

How do you cope?

 

[SilkRoad]

Ok, I just posted this in "common ENFJ issues" but realised this might be a more up to date thread. Thanks!

I haven't read through all this thread (though I'm going to). But I really get the impression that ENFJs and INFJs are very similar. Not surprising I guess, considering the functions...but still more so than I would have expected. Then again, I'm a pretty Fe-heavy INFJ. I'm a more SJ-like INFJ than an NT-like INFJ and I sometimes test as an extrovert, though I know for a fact I am not.

Any comments on major differences between INFJs and ENFJs? Even ENFJs seem to comment about needing a good deal of time alone, etc.

It's just, I relate so much to a lot of the comments about processing emotional hurt and that sort of thing.

 

[Lily flower]

From what I've read, ENFJ's are the most introverted of E's and INFJ's are the most extroverted of I's. As an INFJ, I often wonder if I would have been an ENFJ if I had been raised in a different environment.

I'm an INFJ and have several friends who are INFJ and ENFJ. The big difference I've noticed is that the INFJ's tend to really focus on a couple of key people that they are devoted to and develop friendships with. The ENFJ's tend to make a new friend everywhere they go. Otherwise, we are all very simpatico in our beliefs and leanings.

Also, the INFJ's seem to do most of the work as far as initiating contact, whereas the ENFJ's just seem to respond to whoever is in front of them at the moment. I have also noticed that the ENFJ's are more charasmatic. They have more "followers." I wish I were more charismatic, but then maybe it would be annoying having people "following" me.

Finding other INFJ/ENFJ friends has been a great blessing in my life. It's so nice to finally have people who think the same way.

 

[SilkRoad]

From what I've read, ENFJ's are the most introverted of E's and INFJ's are the most extroverted of I's. As an INFJ, I often wonder if I would have been an ENFJ if I had been raised in a different environment.

I'm an INFJ and have several friends who are INFJ and ENFJ. The big difference I've noticed is that the INFJ's tend to really focus on a couple of key people that they are devoted to and develop friendships with. The ENFJ's tend to make a new friend everywhere they go. Otherwise, we are all very simpatico in our beliefs and leanings.

Also, the INFJ's seem to do most of the work as far as initiating contact, whereas the ENFJ's just seem to respond to whoever is in front of them at the moment. I have also noticed that the ENFJ's are more charasmatic. They have more "followers." I wish I were more charismatic, but then maybe it would be annoying having people "following" me.

Finding other INFJ/ENFJ friends has been a great blessing in my life. It's so nice to finally have people who think the same way.

That all makes sense, especially the new friends everywhere thing.

Honestly...I get the impression it could be rough being ENFJ. I find it kind of rough being INFJ, I know it's been a bit of a rough year but honestly...it's feeling things really hard and taking hurt really painfully, feeling misunderstood, all that emo stuff I almost get the impression that ENFJs are very similar, but they feel things even more intensely, and in a similar prolonged/obsessive way to INFJs! And maybe people understand their need for alone time less because they're extroverts.

However, I'm considering the possibility that ENFJs feel things at a very similar level to INFJs but they just EXPRESS THEMSELVES more intensely. Sometimes when I read posts by someone like Domino, I really really relate, but it's like a super-intensity of expression, very dramatic. Not insincere, at all. Just dramatic. I think it's sort of the way I would like to express myself, but I would feel too exposed and like I was over-dramatizing.

I have one good friend who is almost certainly ENFJ, and...yeah. She feels things super-hard and expresses herself so intensely about them. I'll be really feeling for her, but also kind of thinking "whoa, don't say too much! Don't overstate it! Don't overexpose yourself!"

It's good though, because it makes me feel less alone, I think. Even with other INFJs, sometimes you know they totally understand your pain and why you feel that way but as far as expressing it with each other, there's usually a certain reserve, even if you're very close to each other. In a weird way, it's nice to interact with others who don't feel too reserved or shy, or less so, about discussing bone-crushing emotional agony and all the rest. At least, if I'm reading that right.

 

[jixmixfix]

ENFJ's you are some cool mofo's but I don't understand you guys at all. You can go from to in 0.5 seconds flat.

 

[Sparrow]

[MENTION=7063]SilkRoad[/MENTION] I can totally relate to everything you said! I tend to feel things to the core....the other night I was dealing with a conflict between two friends and it became wayyy too much. I was overwhelmed with their feelings, and pretty much became one with what they were feeling. I finally tool a step back and did some breathing techniques, "Breath in the calm, and breath out the negative.", I also preoccupied myself by looking at cute puppies on the internet lol. The breathing and keeping myself preoccupied REALLY helped for me to become centered again. ENFJ's are really passionate about anything we feel strongly about I guess, which can make us very charismatic OR overly dramatic lol!

 

[Sparrow]

ENFJ's you are some cool mofo's but I don't understand you guys at all. You can go from to in 0.5 seconds flat.

Cross the line...and BAM! wink wink

I have posted this ENFJ poster here a few times, cute ey <3!

 

[jixmixfix]

I noticed, chucky is another example of a misunderstood ENFJ.

[YOUTUBE="Kfo9nx6mcdA"]Childs Play 1- Chucky Attack [/YOUTUBE]

 

[Sparrow]

I noticed, chucky is another example of a misunderstood ENFJ.

NOT!!!!!! Scary! Chucky was a little bitch lol!

 

[Adasta]

Dear ENFJs,

What is endearing to you? I thought I knew, once upon a time, but now I'm not sure I do.

It can't all be security and 5-year plans...can it?

 

[Sparrow]

Dear ENFJs,

What is endearing to you? I thought I knew, once upon a time, but now I'm not sure I do.

It can't all be security and 5-year plans...can it?

The sweet little things! A compliment, a picnic, quality time, effort, appreciation, understanding, laughter, relating...stuff like that .