[Type 6] Enneagram 6s, why don't I like you as much as I should?

[Thalassa]

I usually get along fine with 9s. I hate 8.

Are you a 9w8 by any chance? With a strong 8 wing a good counterphobic 6 could probably piss you right the fuck off.

 

[Thalassa]

Glenn Beck, Sean Hannity, and Rush Limbaugh -- all 6s. Think about that.

Yeah I was writing in my Live Journal one day and realized I sounded like a liberal, female Rush Limbaugh. I had a good laugh about it, because I fucking hate that guy.

 

[SilkRoad]

I think the "6s spend all their time coming up with conspiracy theories and stockpiling food" thing is a myth. Yes, it could sometimes take that form but more often not. I doubt everyone who engages in that type of behaviour is a 6.

There seems to be a tendency to automatically put the megalomaniacs and unpleasant people in the 6 category. Boo!

 

[Thalassa]

I think the "6s spend all their time coming up with conspiracy theories and stockpiling food" thing is a myth. Yes, it could sometimes take that form but more often not. I doubt everyone who engages in that type of behaviour is a 6.

There seems to be a tendency to automatically put the megalomaniacs and unpleasant people in the 6 category. Boo!

There seem to be some very paranoid people who are not 6s, or perhaps they mistype themselves, ha.

Also, this completely fails to take into account Counterphobic 6.

The reason why people like Rush Limbaugh and Glenn Beck are 6s is not because of meglomania or unpleasantness, but because they are POLARIZING. 6s can be viciously political, that's one of the forms the 6s tenacious beliefs in trusting something external can take.

Reactivity is a common trait of the 6, as is the strong relation to authority - love, hate...usually a mix of the two within the same person.

 

[ICUP]

I think the "6s spend all their time coming up with conspiracy theories and stockpiling food" thing is a myth. Yes, it could sometimes take that form but more often not.

I'm the type. I do this some, but not all the time.
I don't think all sixes do this......
wtf is wrong with being into conspiracy theories and stockpiling food anyways lol
? sounds like the thing to do

 

[Speed Gavroche]

Yeah I was writing in my Live Journal one day and realized I sounded like a liberal, female Rush Limbaugh. I had a good laugh about it, because I fucking hate that guy.

Glenn Beck Rush Limbaugh are 6w7 Sp/So and Sean Hannity is a 6w7 So/Sp. But I have ever realised that I was really a sort of libertarian masculine Ann Coulter, wich does'nt surprise me because I find her energy very appealing. Plus we share many controversial ideas, some of he most provocative quotes were very smilars with things I said even when I did'tn know her at all. In many other sides, we are completely different though.

 

[King sns]

Maybe it's because we're all like 'hey! watch out for the man!' when you'd rather just ignore the man entirely.

I don't understand the 6 authority thing. I don't see that many people walking around being really super aware of authority figures as one of their main traits. how does this manifest?

 

[ChocolateMoose123]

There seem to be some very paranoid people who are not 6s, or perhaps they mistype themselves, ha.

Also, this completely fails to take into account Counterphobic 6.

The reason why people like Rush Limbaugh and Glenn Beck are 6s is not because of meglomania or unpleasantness, but because they are POLARIZING. 6s can be viciously political, that's one of the forms the 6s tenacious beliefs in trusting something external can take.

Reactivity is a common trait of the 6, as is the strong relation to authority - love, hate...usually a mix of the two within the same person.

I'm either 5w6 or 6w5. Counterphobic either way. I just go back and forth and seem to have even traits. sx/sp.

The last sentence I can relate to a lot. The reactivity is not a broad reactivity. At least to myself. It is specific to what or who is in front of me at the moment and WHO is in a position of authority over me. If I respect them I will do what they ask with no issues even if I don't like them. If I do not respect them (and this is usually because they have a "do as I say not as I do" attitude) I will almost always dig my heels in to whatever plans they enact. It's an automatic rebelliousness that I don't realize I do but I am aware of it sometimes.

I don't understand the broad conspiracy theory stuff or everyone is out to get me, the world is ending type of thinking. I just can't even fathom that. I do however think that the further we get away from human craftsmanship and those skills and the more trust we put into computers we will as a society lose something essential to us. That idea is less fear based "woe is us" mentality. Rather it's a nostalgic quality, "it's a shame these skills will be lost to future generations". So I'm not sure if that's a 6 trait or a 6 stereotype.

I always take into account what can go wrong in a situation but it's usually concentrated on something specific that I'm dealing with. Or like someone said back there, hearing some idea and seeing the possible flaws or what could go wrong with their idea. It's not to poo-poo all over it for the sake of doing so. It's to make the idea stronger and not waste energy the first time around not taking details into account that could hold that idea back from working seamlessly.

 

[skylights]

I think the "6s spend all their time coming up with conspiracy theories and stockpiling food" thing is a myth.

myself as well. at least, not your average 6. of course some very unhealthy ones will. i mean, both myself and my dad, also a 6, have a tendency to keep things around "just in case". he's sp-first and more outwardly concerned - he'll carry around pepper spray on him, i just keep it in my car. stuff like that.

I don't understand the 6 authority thing. I don't see that many people walking around being really super aware of authority figures as one of their main traits. how does this manifest?

at least for me --

it's pretty hidden. i'm also not sure how much i can differentiate it from sx. you know how people have energy? like "vibe"? certain people have more intense vibe. this can be intense in an attractive or repulsive way, and it can also be in a way that makes me feel like they are an important figure. the funny thing, of course, is that i decide who is and isn't. for example, i really respect one admin at my university. he's very much an authority figure to me. i am very hyped-up in awareness in terms of what i say to him, what he thinks of me, etc. this is because i know he has influence - and also because i think he's really cool, and i want him to like me. but i knew this almost instantly upon meeting him, even though now it's years later. sometimes you can just feel it. but with my supervisor at work - she realistically is my authority, but i don't grant her authority... it turns out she's ineffective and disorganized, and not very in charge - but i knew that on some level in the beginning, even before i knew that. does that make sense? to me a big part of being a 6 is being able to feel out people like that. i usually have a very good sense of who is influential and who is not, even if it's not clear. i don't really know how... i think it's got to be something about the way they interact with others. something about their "energy".

i was like that even as a young child... very deferential to some authority figures, but also kind of a rebel sometimes. i was terrified of my 2nd grade teacher, who had to have been like... maybe an ENFJ 1w2... she "shaped" students... except this one time when she told me i was doing a math problem "wrong" because i got the answer a different way, and i stood up in front of the classroom at the board and explained why my way was faster and easier than hers! lol. still makes me laugh to think about. i had trouble sleeping for a long time after that. teachers' opinions of me have always been A Big Deal in my mind. my parents' opinions. the opinions of those i respect. i think sometimes it can be a very good thing, and sometimes it can be a very bad thing.

but as for how that manifests - it's like everything is amplified oddly. like marm said, it's really all in the reactions. like with my work supervisor, i kind of ignore her sometimes. or will be very forthright in terms of speaking out when i think things are wrong or unfair. i don't really have what i would consider a "healthy fear" of her, basically, even though technically she has my job security in her hands. i am less deferential to her than the situation calls for; the reactions are skewed. whereas with my university admin, he really doesn't have any tangible direct impact on my life right now, but i'm still very careful of what i say to him and try to present myself in the best light, etc. i am more deferential to him than the situation calls for. i have more fear of him than i probably should have. like if i said something stupid or if he seemed to disapprove, i'd probably emotionally freak out over it (as quietly as possible) for a long time until i "set things straight" again. with my supervisor, when she disapproves or if i do something stupid in front of her, i tend to get angry at her or myself (respectively). it's a strong fear-anger divide.

but those are polarities... for most people i feel in-between, and swing between poles. for instance, my old boss was an ESTJ 1, and we had a hard time getting along sometimes because our work styles were very different. i am free, open, seeking, procrastinating, and creative. she is dedicated, focused, productive, task-oriented, and practical. we actually shared very many of the same values, though, and she knew i was very good at my job and i knew she was very good at her job. i still kind of both love her for her values and ideals and vision and ability to get things done, and hate her for the way she can be so pedantic and rigid and socially unaware. or with a significant other... i can be really bad sometimes. like let's say they've been cooped up for a while lately, and sort of ignoring me (as NJs tend to do, and i tend to fall for NJs) - and i try to ask them something, and they ignore me - well then i start to get nervous that something's going wrong, that i did something wrong, that the relationship isn't okay - so i'll try to be extra sweet and whatnot, but if that doesn't work, i might confront them because i've been freaking out for days while they haven't been talking to me... and they'll be like
and i'll be all
and if they don't understand me then they will also be like (react to my reaction)
and then of course i will react and it will be
and then they will
and i will be left alone like


but if they understand me they will be
and i will be
and they will be
and i will be
and they will reassure me that they are just working on some brainy Ni problem
and maybe i can even help them lighten up a little
and then we will be


was that... what you meant...

 

[Thalassa]

I don't understand the 6 authority thing. I don't see that many people walking around being really super aware of authority figures as one of their main traits. how does this manifest?

I was extremely deferential to authority as a child, REALLY wanted to please adults and do the "right" thing, then suddenly became totally disullusioned with it because of some personal experiences, then becaume extremely rebellious as an adolescent.

As an adult this primarily manifests as me avoiding all corporate structure authority if possible, and getting into heated arguments with any individual who attempts to dominate me needlessly (i.e. unless I can see an objective purpose for it).

On the other hand, some of my political beliefs mirror what people would call "nanny state" because of my 6-ish need for security and group order. This could appear to some people as definitely siding with authority.

Sexually I also tend to fetishize the idea of being dominated, but not to an extreme, because I'm too feisty and Counterphobic to be truly submissive. It's more like I have a challenge where any man I'm with must be strong enough and dominant enough to "handle" me, yet not so authoritative that I feel like he's trying to control me without my permission.

I also have a weird underlying sexualization of extremely authoritarian cultures, and the idea of absolute power, but if I were actually faced with it in reality, I'd fight tooth and nail with violence to destroy it.

And this is the love/hate relationship that most 6s have with authority, but in the case of Counterphobic 6s you'll see much more rebellion or feistiness in reaction to what we perceive as anyone trying to dominate us without our permission. Still, the 6ish need for security is the underlying motive, so we still need and desire authority. All 6s want something to believe in that is bigger than themselves: this can manifest as politics, religion, family, or whatever. Phobic 6s are more likely to appear "obedient" or aligned strongly with authority, though.

 

[SilkRoad]

I don't entirely understand the 6/authority thing myself, which was one reason I've wondered if I truly am 6. However, it seems to be normal for a phobic 6 (which I definitely am, though I have counterphobic aspects like a good sense of fun and adventure) to not have big authority "issues".

I believe that rules and obedience are generally a good thing as long as you don't violate deeply held principles because of them (I'm thinking of the early apostles saying "we must obey God as ruler rather than men", although where it didn't contravene God's laws they wanted to follow secular laws for sure.) But in a way I'm more into social conventions and respect (Fe) than rules - not the same thing, though in some ways related.

 

[Mal12345]

I don't understand the 6 authority thing. I don't see that many people walking around being really super aware of authority figures as one of their main traits. how does this manifest?

Knowing and respecting one's place in the social hierarchy.

Edit - I should add that there is a distinction in attitude toward authority between the 6w5 and 6w7. They can more or less borrow from their respective wings' attitude toward authority. The 5 is indifferent to authority while the 7 is rebellious. Therefore, unless completely brainwashed, the 6 cannot be considered an obedient robot, but holds back some kind of personal regard toward authority that does not always make its presence known to others.

 

[Randomnity]

Knowing and respecting one's place in the social hierarchy.

Edit - I should add that there is a distinction in attitude toward authority between the 6w5 and 6w7. They can more or less borrow from their respective wings' attitude toward authority. The 5 is indifferent to authority while the 7 is rebellious. Therefore, unless completely brainwashed, the 6 cannot be considered an obedient robot, but holds back some kind of personal regard toward authority that does not always make its presence known to others.

hadn't heard this before. It fits for me as a 6w5 - I'm totally indifferent until they start abusing their job, which happens all too often in the case of say, cops. Not rebellious at all. Maybe a little disdainful, if they deserve it.

edit: I think I like the idea of authority in theory but in practice, it depends on the person in the position of authority.

 

[Thalassa]

I don't entirely understand the 6/authority thing myself, which was one reason I've wondered if I truly am 6. However, it seems to be normal for a phobic 6 (which I definitely am, though I have counterphobic aspects like a good sense of fun and adventure) to not have big authority "issues".

I believe that rules and obedience are generally a good thing as long as you don't violate deeply held principles because of them (I'm thinking of the early apostles saying "we must obey God as ruler rather than men", although where it didn't contravene God's laws they wanted to follow secular laws for sure.) But in a way I'm more into social conventions and respect (Fe) than rules - not the same thing, though in some ways related.

The authority/security thing is how I knew I was absolutely a 6 and not a 4. When I finally understood the core motivation of 6 it's undeniable that it's what I am, and unsurprisingly 6w7s frequently confuse themselves with either 4w3 or 3w4...especially since 6 disintegrates at 3, and I'm an FP, which lends itself to 4-ish qualities, anyhoo.

 

[SilkRoad]

hadn't heard this before. It fits for me as a 6w5 - I'm totally indifferent until they start abusing their job, which happens all too often in the case of say, cops. Not rebellious at all. Maybe a little disdainful, if they deserve it.

edit: I think I like the idea of authority in theory but in practice, it depends on the person in the position of authority.

I think this could apply quite well to me too.

Plus, what I said above about obedience to rules except where it would violate deeply held principles, that also implies obedience to the deeply held principles, of course. And security and feeling safe, mainly emotionally and in terms of having certain fundamental things nailed down in my life, are big for me.

 

[King sns]

I see, thank you Marm, Sky, Mal. It makes more sense to me now, it's almost a discovery for me though. For me, people matter or they don't matter. Like Sky said, vibes and stuff. But it's not intense. I didn't realize that people had these intense inner percieved authority battles until I read about sixes (and there are supposedly a lot of sixes?) It's rather fascinating. I'm sure the manifestation is slightly different in everybody, like you guys seem to be saying, it has to do with what one percieves to be an authortity figure and "social heiarchy"- which makes more sense to me now.

 

[skylights]

I see, thank you Marm, Sky, Mal. It makes more sense to me now, it's almost a discovery for me though. For me, people matter or they don't matter. Like Sky said, vibes and stuff. But it's not intense. I didn't realize that people had these intense inner percieved authority battles until I read about sixes (and there are supposedly a lot of sixes?) It's rather fascinating. I'm sure the manifestation is slightly different in everybody, like you guys seem to be saying, it has to do with what one percieves to be an authortity figure and "social heiarchy"- which makes more sense to me now.

you're welcome

and yeah. it's equally weird to find out that everyone doesn't feel the same way. i always wondered when i was little how other kids dared be so flighty and disrespectful. how they, for example, were comfortable in the houses of other kids when the other kids' parents were around. i was always very on edge about that.

 

[rav3n]

Counterphobic 6's if out of control, can be rather frightening. They taunt authority with passive-aggressiveness or aggressiveness and then cry victim when the aggression is returned. It's a marvelous way to cry victim.

If you apply The Karpman Drama Triangle Theory, the victim holds the most power. When an out of control cp6 plays victim, it can get to the level of perceived martyrdom. Truly frightening.

 

[InvisibleJim]

And that's when disagreements start, it's strange. Supposedly 6s and 9s are very complimentary types, maybe I just don't get 6s enough.

Au contraire. 6's go best with 1's and 8's! See the irony?

 

[InvisibleJim]

If you require more insight into exactly what goes on with type six I recommend reading this link:

http://www.eclecticenergies.com/enneagram/type6.php

Helen Parker took it a step further by proscribing that the 5 is a 'technical/logical exclusive' analyst, the 7 is a 'socially exclusive' analyst whereas the head space of the 6 is preoccupied by both the politic and the technical/logic therefore being anxious as a consequence of seeing where all of these factors trip up or succeed.