What do people say of you?

[pure_mercury]

HEY! We could totally be bffs! But only if you're gay cuz my husband probably wouldn't like me hangin out with a hetero guy.

I am not gay, but I can pretend pretty well. All those Morrissey and Suede and Pet Shop Boys records. . .

 

[Tigerlily]

All those Morrissey and Suede and Pet Shop Boys records. . .

Don't forget DM, New Order and Pulp!

Sorry Santtu. *exits to the fluff zone*

 

[Ghost of the dead horse]

I was constantly talked about being intelligent (and almost only that) when I was 12-22, almost to the point of annoyance.

Nowadays I look like a completely different person, but a similar pattern is seen.

My highly introverted, socially challenged, equally intelligent friend gets this kind of feedback, and I accept that for him. It's a way for us to encourage him. Still I know it's a law of nature; should I start being socially inept, I would receive recognition of my intelligence as well Now, it's covered under my silliness, extroversion and general normal appearance, apart from occasional jokes and such.

 

[substitute]

I was constantly talk about being intelligent (and almost only that) when I was 12-22, almost to the point of annoyance.

Nowadays I look like a completely different person, and a similar pattern is seen.

My highly introverted, socially challenged, equally intelligent friend gets this kind of feedback, and I accept that for him. It's a way for us to encourage him. Still I know it's a law of nature; should I start being socially inept, I would receive recognition of my intelligence as well Now, it's covered under my silliness, extroversion and non-challenging topics I talk about.

Absolutely. Same here - I used to be always told I was intelligent, until I got sick to death of it and wanted to be seen as more than a brain on legs. It was the only compliment I ever got, as though I had no other qualities. It used to irritate me cos I didn't really care that much for being a smart person, I wanted more to be a good person. It's not as though I tried to be smart.

Similarly, I learned to channel my intelligence into humour and enthusiasm and use it that way to reach people, rather than dry sorta intellectual stuff. And also like you, since doing that I've had less recognition of my intelligence, and I get assumed to be 'shallow' sometimes, more traditional academic types tend not to take me seriously until they get an acid demonstration of the wits they doubt the existence of!!

 

[cascadeco]

Absolutely. Same here - I used to be always told I was intelligent, until I got sick to death of it and wanted to be seen as more than a brain on legs. It was the only compliment I ever got, as though I had no other qualities.

It's really all I got in school as well (along with quiet and sweet)-- all my peers viewed me as such, as well as teachers, and of course my parents. It's a primary reason I felt compelled to start out in engineering - because that's just what 'smart people' do. My Dad certainly 'encouraged'/pushed me in that direction. Ultimately it proved to be a bad fit - I hated it.

 

[Ivy]

Another thing I get a lot is "diplomatic" (and I sometimes get the impression it's code for "avoids conflict like the plague"). People seem to think this about me to the point that, at a recent meeting of my local womens' group, we got into a heated debate over something and afterwards people kept asking me if I was okay. I was fine- I had enjoyed it greatly, actually, but they weren't used to seeing me argue a position passionately since typically I am the one who sees both side and facilitates. They were actually seeing a truer me than they were accustomed to seeing- and they didn't recognize it as me.

 

[disregard]

Patient.. laid back.. fun..

 

[Ghost of the dead horse]

Sorry Santtu. *exits to the fluff zone*

LOL

 

[cafe]

smart, quiet, spacey, chatty, loyal, good listener, opinionated, educated, involved parent, messy, moody, distracted, picky, sharp-tongued, cute, sweet, nice, articulate, stuck up, friendly, funny

Edit: I am amused by the apparent contradictions in the way people perceive me, especially since I can see the truth of even the contradictions. The nice thing is that people usually do not tell me the bad things. I can think of enough on my own and I'd usually rather not think about it.

 

[substitute]

something I just put in another thread but which I guess belongs here too, people often remark on my confidence - or what they perceive as confidence - it's actually a combination of obliviousness and preoccupation, as in I'm too preoccupied with whatever hairbrained idea I'm currently developing, to notice whether/how other people are looking at me or reacting to me or whatever. The phrase someone used was that I behave as though the world is my bedroom - that level of relaxedness, at home, sorta confidence you feel in your own room, they say I show that wherever I am.

 

[proteanmix]

Positives: silly, funny, smart, curious, thorough, well-dressed, gives good advice, and once somebody told me I was analytical

Negatives: moody, impulsive/impetuous, argumentative, cynical, bossy, defensive

Neutral: political, should be a lawyer or teacher (but never a doctor, astronaut, or pastry chef ), talkative, bourgie (I'm quite proud of my buppiness)

 

[Totenkindly]

Sounds like a rather wide-angle view of you, with many aspects covered. Do you think you're being WYSIWYG to promote that kind of insight into you? Do you get these evaluations in a short or a long time of interaction?

Well, the therapist told me her perceptions a year into my therapy... but it was specifically her "first perceptions" of me based on my initial 2-3 sessions, and she said it was borne out over time.

Is there any personality trait that people fail to comment on you, leaving you wonder if they don't notice it?

Most people would see my creativity/music first. They'd learn about my thinking abilities only if I had an opportunity to talk with them, so some people were never aware of how deeply I thought about things.

Normally my persona to people on first meeting is "quiet, not offensive, friendly" if I'm not neurotic, and otherwise "skittish, anxious, and withdrawn" if I am. (Unless they're N's; then they immediately get to see me come to life.)

Another thing I get a lot is "diplomatic" (and I sometimes get the impression it's code for "avoids conflict like the plague"). People seem to think this about me to the point that, at a recent meeting of my local womens' group, we got into a heated debate over something and afterwards people kept asking me if I was okay. I was fine- I had enjoyed it greatly, actually, but they weren't used to seeing me argue a position passionately since typically I am the one who sees both side and facilitates. They were actually seeing a truer me than they were accustomed to seeing- and they didn't recognize it as me.

That's fun, isn't it? Especially because all along you knew "you" were in there, but they had no idea.

I have to admit the first few times I saw you passionately argue something [with me], I actually thought you were mad at me (because you facilitate so well, so if you STOP facilitating, then the assumption is that you're upset)... then later realized it was nothing of the sort.

 

[miss fortune]

what I usually get

- smart, a bitch, a very loyal friend, the person you call to fix something that's gone wrong, the girl with all the answers, the last person you want to cross, the best drinking buddy you could have, a cool guy in a girl's body, the must have party guest

 

[Ghost of the dead horse]

people often remark on my confidence - or what they perceive as confidence - it's actually a combination of obliviousness and preoccupation, as in I'm too preoccupied with whatever hairbrained idea I'm currently developing, to notice whether/how other people are looking at me or reacting to me or whatever.

That makes perfect sense! Who could afford to be preoccupied if they were insecure about their immediate surroundings?

 

[alcea rosea]

I'm confusing to people or I am good in changing my behavior with people because I have said to be:
- restless
- calm
- friendly
- intimidating
- very business like
- very laid back
- brainless
- intelligent
- logical
- unlogical
etc.

One thing I have never been called is being serious and I am never unemotional. So most of time I'm smiling or laughing (which must be very annoying for serious people. )

 

[Seanan]

Well, isn't this an embarrassing one? I'm going to view it as a challenge.

I must preface it with... I don't, necessarily, agree with most of the descriptions. The inaccuracy/accuracy lies with the person describing and, the descriptions that have come to me, I've found very humorous actually. I've also wished I was a fly on the wall at times.

* If you have a problem, go see/call ---- (me.)
* From both sexes... she's more like a man. The good ole boys call that "aggressive" and the gals call that "confusing."
* shy/snobbish/self-confident/classy
* intelligent/nerdy/profound/wise
* logical/objective/flakey(?)
* wishywashy/resolute/stubborn/strong
* philosophical/spiritual/psychic/looney/spooky(?)
* scattered/focused
* compassionate/cold

Obviously, none of those thinking of me in these ways knows me very well... especially the good ole boys. The only person who does... hubby... just says "I've never known anyone else like you." That's open to speculation. I asked him what that meant once and all he could come up with was "You're unique" or "You're special." Nice. I think.

 

[Tigerlily]

One thing I have never been called is being serious and I am never unemotional. So most of time I'm smiling or laughing (which must be very annoying for serious people. )

Shiny and happy, yeah!

 

[Atomic Fiend]

People do talk about me, I know because I've been told that much, but I have no idea what they say.

 

[alcea rosea]

Shiny and happy, yeah!

Happy maybe but shiny - no way!

 

[Tigerlily]

Happy maybe but shiny - no way!

*sulks and skips back to the fluff zone where she will no doubt be confined to if she enters this thread as an ESFP again*