[ENTJ] ENTJ question

[betterthandead]

How do the ENTJ's in this forum behave when they find someone interesting?

 

[Maverick]

How do the ENTJ's in this forum behave when they find someone interesting?

I'm a male ENTJ. I'm straightforward and have little interest in "games". I act naturally and don't start behaving in ways to get my other partner to feel something. If I'm interested in someone, I obviously smile more to the person, make more jokes, and ask them more questions about themselves. I'll ask the person out. If it's no, it's no and I'll move to someone else.

In any case, the reaction she gave you is rude and clearly avoidant. If she really had the hots for you, she would have jumped on the occasion. Also, if she doesn't like looking at you in the eyes, then there's probably a problem.

 

[Lindaxo]

EDIT: It really depends on the maturity level or level of intuition I uphold on how I deal with social situations. When I am interested (in general) I communicate with ease. Because I can relate and share my experiences... and such. I usually don't feel comfortable around the people I am attracted to though because I feel like I often have a lot to lose in those situations. I become extremely shy and quiet. When I'm interested I like to listen to the other person talk because I find them extremely fascinating and I want to know more!

 

[meanlittlechimp]

Would it be possible that maybe she was interested and just got nervous because she thought you weren't interested? Not saying that was the case, since there is not enough information to really assess this.

Do the ENTJs here ever get nervous around someone they like and actually act shy? I've seen an ENTJ friend do the exact same thing I'm describing (freeze up out of fear of rejection), but they are indeed typically direct about this sort of thing.

Maverick, your avatar is perfect for an ENTJ - scary.

 

[Rasputin]

Yes, when I am interested in someone, I can get pretty shy, because it opens me up to becoming vulnerable to someone (draws on Fi). I'm married, but how I got started interacting with my wife was actually to argue with her (I worked with her) and flirt with her. I'm a naturally argumentative and competitive person, but I guess I'd say that when I'm interested in someone, I bring those qualities out in a flirtatious manner.

Not all ENTJs are scary. That's a stereotype, and I don't like stereotypes. It's hard to be physically intimidating when you're 6'2" and an ectomorph.

 

[hotmale]

I'm a male ENTJ. I'm straightforward and have little interest in "games". I act naturally and don't start behaving in ways to get my other partner to feel something. If I'm interested in someone, I obviously smile more to the person, make more jokes, and ask them more questions about themselves. I'll ask the person out. If it's no, it's no and I'll move to someone else.

In any case, the reaction she gave you is rude and clearly avoidant. If she really had the hots for you, she would have jumped on the occasion. Also, if she doesn't like looking at you in the eyes, then there's probably a problem.

HA! I should set you up with my sister.

 

[Maverick]

Do the ENTJs here ever get nervous around someone they like and actually act shy? I've seen an ENTJ friend do the exact same thing I'm describing (freeze up out of fear of rejection), but they are indeed typically direct about this sort of thing.

Maverick, your avatar is perfect for an ENTJ - scary.

It's rarely happened that I really like somone. When I did, I became even more self-confident, calm and assured. The reason being that I had an objective in my mind to pursue that person and was going to take the time to do it the best way posssible. When I was dating my current girlfriend, I was very patient and observant in the beginning. It was as if everything was going to fall into place anyway.

I became more tense around the ones I didn't like because they annoyed me and I was not planning on staying with them.

Not all ENTJs are scary.

Exactly. I'm not intimidating physically at all. I'm tall, but have got an average complexion. Neither too thin nor too big.

But apparently I do scare people when I'm not smiling. They often comment that I look angry when I have a neutral expression.

HA! I should set you up with my sister.

An ENTJ, right

 

[Maverick]

Okay, whoa, that's reassuring to hear! This is the approach my ENTJ is currently taking with me and we've discussed the "slowness" of pace as a natural progression to getting serious as time goes on and we get to know one another further. Makes sense, but damn if it ever shows he has an immense amount of self-control!

Yes, when I started dating my gf of 8 years (who is ISFJ btw), she was also surprised of this. But it was because I felt in sync with her and trusted how things would turn out. I had the utmost respect towards her. When I became in love with her, I took things easy - but made sure to enjoy every moment we spent together.

 

[sammy]

Yes, when I started dating my gf of 8 years (who is ISFJ btw), she was also surprised of this. But it was because I felt in sync with her and trusted how things would turn out. I had the utmost respect towards her. When I became in love with her, I took things easy - but made sure to enjoy every moment we spent together.

I was wondering, were there ever moments where you were really busy and too stressed out to want to see her (while you guys were first starting out together)? Not, necessarily that you didn't want to see her, but you wanted to see her when in a less-stressed frame of mind so that you could keep all your interactions on a more positive note?

And if that happened in your situation, if she expressed her concern at not seeing you during these stressed out/busy periods, how did you handle the problem?

 

[Maverick]

I was wondering, were there ever moments where you were really busy and too stressed out to want to see her (while you guys were first starting out together)? Not, necessarily that you didn't want to see her, but you wanted to see her when in a less-stressed frame of mind so that you could keep all your interactions on a more positive note?

No

 

[Rasputin]

My wife is an ISFJ. I wonder if we are seeing a pattern, here? When I started dating her, I was quite out of character, because we started to fall in love quickly, and wanted to be together as much as possible. So, things started pretty fast for us. Normally, I would have taken things much more slowly. Falling in love with her was the crucial factor for me.

 

[Rasputin]

What are the grounds on which you and your ENTJ connect?

 

[MerkW]

My wife is an ISFJ. I wonder if we are seeing a pattern, here?

Definitely. But this is not at all surprising:

According to Socionics (another personality system based of Jung, very similar to MBTI), a socionic ENTj is most compatible with ISFj, followed by ESFps, INTps, other ENTjs, and INFjs. Socionic types usually correlate to MBTI types (occasionally flipping the J/P [in socionics known as irrationality/rationality] dichotomy). Thus the following types would most likely convert into such (Socionic types are indicated by a lowercase J or P):

ENTj = ENTJ
ESFp = ESFP
INTp = INTP or INTJ
INFj = INFJ or INFP
ISFj = ISFJ or ISFP

This is why there seem to be so many IxFJ/ENTJ couples.

 

[betterthandead]

I disagree with Merkw's assertion that a specific personality type works well with another specific personality type. Why bother limiting yourself with one type of personality that is perceived to be "the best" even in Dual relationships fail ultimately because a personality type is not cookie cut since it is dependent on not only socio-economic differences but also gender as well. I'm sure there are some personality types that should not mix with the one you have. You definitely want to be with someone that offers a different point of view and allows you to grow as a person.