[INFJ] INFJs: Do you find working with people draining?

[sharons]

I noticed a lot of the career recommendations for us are people-oriented professions/working one-on-one with people. I've never had a job like that but just in general when coworkers chat with me a lot during work or interrupt often it's draining after a while,so I can only imagine that those recommended career choices would be draining after so long. When I'm left alone to work my energy is maintained/doesn't drop. What are your experiences?

 

[INTJMom]

I noticed a lot of the career recommendations for us are people-oriented professions/working one-on-one with people. I've never had a job like that but just in general when coworkers chat with me a lot during work or interrupt often it's draining after a while,so I can only imagine that those recommended career choices would be draining after so long. When I'm left alone to work my energy is maintained/doesn't drop. What are your experiences?

Me, too. I love to work alone!

 

[Eileen]

I'm a teacher. It is draining, but I would find solitary work without personal impact more draining. I do think I'd like working one-on-one better, though.

 

[zarc]

I noticed a lot of the career recommendations for us are people-oriented professions/working one-on-one with people. I've never had a job like that but just in general when coworkers chat with me a lot during work or interrupt often it's draining after a while,so I can only imagine that those recommended career choices would be draining after so long. When I'm left alone to work my energy is maintained/doesn't drop. What are your experiences?

I'd assume it's due to Fe which makes it appealing to work with people. OTOH, it eventually becomes straining if we aren't allowed to have space or to get our favourite process Ni its peace and quiet.

One on one is good because we can focus better and direct our energy better one way because too much (while interesting and fun) is eventually, as you said, draining. OTOH again, it's good to be in a (not so) populated place because it helps to further our observations on people and gets us 'out' more, probably. Builds confidence in our environments (Se) and similiar, assuming it's an enjoyable one.

As for 'chatting', I don't much like it if it's superfluous in nature. I don't care for gossip unless it's about people we know and then I get offended, ask it stop or not in my presence--- Even celebrity gossips uspets me b/c it's just taking advantage of sickened individuals and feeding into the machine-- Chatting is a distraction, I'd assume for INxJs, especially at work because there's no direction of it and we can't use it to our advantage or give analysis/observation or care too. Plus, if we're working, we're in our head mostly figuring things out and when someone interrupts it....bye bye thought! It's so easy for me to forget (or to recall) if someone interrupts me and won't shut up-- Chatting with family/friends is different and can be more appreciated, IMO. We wouldn't mind Fe-ing that! It'd be more about 'connection' at that point. But at work, where INFJs appreciate and prefer 'appropriate' behaviour, I'd think, we'd find it somewhat rude for people to not do their jobs and to just idle away chatting. I speak from experience there. It frustrates me when you want to do your job and people would rather slack off. I understand why and sympathise (at my work, though) but still...bothersome and more taxing for me.

So, yes, people are draining but within certain circumstances.

 

[solidstate101]

I work at Lowes atm and its very draining, both physically and socially. At the end of the day I like to be alone for the rest of the evening

I'm currently in school with the hopes of becoming a Counseling Psychologist (one-on-one) after realizing that being an Elementary Teacher would just be too draining.

 

[persianeyes]

my mom is an infj... i think ur right she does seem to find ppl draining, in fact i think most introverts do and need their space from time to time. But my mom is fixed on pleasing ppl and having a respectable role in society, which is really important to her.. but sometimes I see a dark side emerged from all the work she puts into trying to make ppl comfortable.. must be frusterating and draining

 

[cafe]

I worked a job for awhile that was mostly solitary and I found it draining. Working around a lot of people is also draining. Ideally, I think I'd work with people one on one for half to three quarters of my day and spend the other one quarter to one half working alone.

 

[INTJMom]

I noticed a lot of the career recommendations for us are people-oriented professions/working one-on-one with people. I've never had a job like that but just in general when coworkers chat with me a lot during work or interrupt often it's draining after a while,so I can only imagine that those recommended career choices would be draining after so long. When I'm left alone to work my energy is maintained/doesn't drop. What are your experiences?

As I already said, I love to work alone. But I have also worked with one other person, and I liked that, too.
I don't like having to interact with a lot of people. It drains me real fast.

I don't mind waiting on customers where you're only waiting on one at a time.

 

[chippinchunk]

my mom is an infj... i think ur right she does seem to find ppl draining, in fact i think most introverts do and need their space from time to time. But my mom is fixed on pleasing ppl and having a respectable role in society, which is really important to her.. but sometimes I see a dark side emerged from all the work she puts into trying to make ppl comfortable.. must be frusterating and draining

I'm like your mother. And I agree with all introverts being the same way in that type of situation. Introverts need the time alone, it's like a cell phone running low...CHARGE ME! lol.

 

[misha vainberg]

I agree, some social interaction can be enjoyable, but the more people to have to pay attention to, the more draining the interaction. Also with more distant relationships I am a lot more guarded, but at the same time feel I have to be more aware, which adds to the strain.

 

[nightning]

I am okay mostly with one-on-one interactions... or small groups (under 4 ppl) for extended periods of time assuming there's not too much idle chatting going on. Basically put me on a task that requires my concentration and I'm good with it.

Dealing with a bunch of people at once is draining though. Elementary kids for example... I can handle a few hours. To teach them day in and day out? No thank you!

 

[faith]

I noticed a lot of the career recommendations for us are people-oriented professions/working one-on-one with people. I've never had a job like that but just in general when coworkers chat with me a lot during work or interrupt often it's draining after a while,so I can only imagine that those recommended career choices would be draining after so long. When I'm left alone to work my energy is maintained/doesn't drop. What are your experiences?

Chit-chat is draining for me, as is working with a group of people. Working alone is fun if I'm interested in the work. Working with one or two others is ideal.

 

[ladypinkington]

I really prefer to work alone- I like to do my own thing and I guess it is a little bit more because I am a control freak then anything,lol. I don't like telling people what to do and I just work faster and better by myself- I like having the freedom of being able to do things my way in my time. When working in a group I end up being more focused on being a hostess type person and worrying about how everyone else is doing that I can't focus and be free to do what I need and want to do.

Acting is the only exception- that is the only project and work I like doing in a group.

 

[Kiddo]

That's why I want to be a social worker. Most PSR (psychosocial rehabilitation) work is one on one. And PSR is what most social workers do nowadays.

 

[runvardh]

I find that the only time I feel drained is when the people themselves become draining, at which point there only needs to be one.... ><

Edit: never mind

 

[cascadeco]

I really prefer to work alone- I like to do my own thing and I guess it is a little bit more because I am a control freak then anything,lol. I don't like telling people what to do and I just work faster and better by myself- I like having the freedom of being able to do things my way in my time

Actually I can relate to this. In a corporate work environment, I really just want to be left to my own devices, because I can get things done pretty efficiently and other people slow me down. I always *hated* group projects in school for this very reason. Some of it too might be that I *know* I can do it, and I don't necessarily trust that other people will be able to deliver.
I also don't like giving people instructions, and I'd say the thing I hate the most is training other people. I just hate it. And a lot of it is that it is draining...just having to be 'on' the entire time, having to be in presentation mode and answer questions and give direction....ug.

Group interaction involving leading, as well as chit-chatty stuff, does tend to drain me.

I'm definitely better 1:1, but even 1:1 can drain me, if I'm fulfulling more of a listening/supportive/counselor type role (which I often do) and I'm primarily in listening mode for several hours (and, I do have one friend who does talk quite a lot...so she can wear me out), because when I'm engaged in another persons' experience, I'm really engaged. So I can get really tired. And it's not that I don't want to be there, and I'm not enjoying the interaction..because I am. But 1:1 can be pretty intense for me, because I'm really giving the person 100% of my attention...so it can tire me out. It's why I don't think I could ever do the social work/psych type work that is recommended for INFJ's...I just think it would sap everything out of me. I can, and do, interact well 1:1 with people, but doing it 8 hrs/day as a career...I really don't think I could do it.

Smaller doses? Absolutely.

 

[zarc]

I always *hated* group projects in school for this very reason. Some of it too might be that I *know* I can do it, and I don't necessarily trust that other people will be able to deliver.
I also don't like giving people instructions, and I'd say the thing I hate the most is training other people. I just hate it. And a lot of it is that it is draining...just having to be 'on' the entire time, having to be in presentation mode and answer questions and give direction....ug.

Group interaction involving leading, as well as chit-chatty stuff, does tend to drain me.

I can attest to the group work thing. Although, if I knew (as I'd already observed beforehand in order to know who's preferable) that people in my group were competent, I'd figure out who should do what and "offer" it to people nicely on if they'd want to do it. Then I'd let them work on it and not interfere as I'd be doing my own thing. I'd check in only if I sense people slacking or the 'time' is approaching for deadline. I'd only help those who were deficient in some regard or they asked (which is taxing but I'd do it to help anyway )

Training sucks. I'd point people out on what they could do and let them do it or not--Their choice. Leading is fine as I've mostly been "put" or just assumed that position or I take it if I think I should. But my leading is what I aforesaid with the groups. Let the individual do their own thing contributing to the group harmonously as they follow my/group vision. I have taken 0% (resentfully) on group projects where people were unreasonable, there was no production/set vision and if the teacher wouldn't allow me a replaced individual one.

(and, I do have one friend who does talk quite a lot...so she can wear me out), because when I'm engaged in another persons' experience, I'm really engaged. So I can get really tired.......

Smaller doses? Absolutely.

Yea, I find people leech, intentionally or not, on my empathy for their situation as I'm fully engaged and I also let them(have learned to limit that over time)-- Sometimes bias results initially as I just 'feel' for them. Sometime during discussion it occurs to think of the "other person/group" and try to get them to think about it. Successfully or not--

 

[Jae Rae]

Generally I can work with people and stay on task, but I prefer to work by myself near others who are also working.

A few weeks ago I helped with a school mailing. Some of us worked while chatting a little, others were chatting and working a little. The most extreme example of the latter was a woman who stamped the return address where the postage was supposed to go. Someone else had to go through and find every single envelope she'd done, stick a label over the return address, then stamp the correct corner.

A friend and I discussed this morning how little we like meetings and committees because the same problems keep arising, with the same suggestions being offered. I find it tiring to point out that a certain solution has been tried but failed, and have others suggest this time it will be different. Businesses, govt. bureaucracies and volunteer organizations all seem prone to this problem.

Jae Rae

 

[INTJMom]

Generally I can work with people and stay on task, but I prefer to work by myself near others who are also working.

Me, too.

A few weeks ago I helped with a school mailing. Some of us worked while chatting a little, others were chatting and working a little. The most extreme example of the latter was a woman who stamped the return address where the postage was supposed to go. Someone else had to go through and find every single envelope she'd done, stick a label over the return address, then stamp the correct corner.
...

That happens to me when I'm doing something physical like that. I can get distracted and make a mistake. I hate that!

 

[wedekit]

Living in a Residence Hall with thin walls means being around people 24/7. Sometimes I go to my car in the parking garage just listen to music by myself and stuff. >___<