[ENFJ] ENFJ - ENTP friendships...

[onemoretime]

...don't seem too friendly to others (constantly calling each other idiots), but are based on a nucleus of common respect. Agree?

 

[EcK]

Nah, I'll eventually bring all of them down

 

[Nocapszy]

you can't base hatred on respect.

that's the kind of irrational nonsense notoriously perpetrated by the ENFJs.

and i'm wondering about omt's type now...

 

[Unkindloving]

Pardon? Don't make me glare at you, fellow Jerseyan

I'm not sure if i know any ENTPs, actually.

 

[BlueFlame]

I don't know any ENTPs either - at least not well enough to have them typed.
But I can't imagine ever calling anyone an idiot constantly and still having a nucleus of respect underneath it all. If I respect you, I'm not likely to bring much light to your negatives at all. But who knows? Maybe I'll go hunt down an ENTP and find out for ya!

 

[EcK]

to the op: if i bother talking to somebody out of a benefit oriented relationship it means I respect them.
It's pretty apparent when I don't give a shit as I don't try to hide it, and as to REALLY hating somebody I wouldn't do that. I either care or don't care, hatred if really meant, is a weakness in my books.
and now, *drums* cardio time !
g'nite/day folks

 

[SUPER]

...don't seem too friendly to others (constantly calling each other idiots), but are based on a nucleus of common respect. Agree?

I disagree.

You have the wrong idea.

 

[fill]

Not really. I have a good ENFJ friend. We both sort of get irritated by our way of doing things, but we a). don't tell each other this, and b). put it in the back-burner because we love to carry on long conversations. Plus we're really good at cheering each other up - which has been invaluable the past few days for me.

Oh, just a side note: at the beginning of our friendship, the clash between our getting-shit-done-styles was hard to get used to, but when we actually sat down and talked, we had a lot to say.

Edit: The first two words of my post was supposed to be, "Yeah, really." After further thought of the OP's words and my own, they do match up better than I'd originally thought.

 

[Domino]

...don't seem too friendly to others (constantly calling each other idiots), but are based on a nucleus of common respect. Agree?

Absolutely.

First of all, I don't base ANY relationship on pure hatred. That's exhausting, pointless and stupid. People you hate are called "enemies" and that's an entirely different category.

Second of all, my closest friends understand *inherently* one basic thing: Respect. Don't call me "bitch". Ever. Don't blow me off for someone else. Don't take me for granted. Apologize when you're wrong. Talk it out. No hitting below the belt. I hold to these tenets, and so do they. I don't get into disagreements with them to be right - it's your job to remain open and respectful while asserting your position, and to never denigrate the other party.

Unfortunately for me I've never met any female ENTPs ( major ), but the males I know get along with me with such ease that it's almost creepy. I liken our dynamic to "His Girl Friday". You know each others' parameters. You can cut up and hoodwink each other and be nuisances, but ONLY when it's playtime. If it's not a mutual exchange (and I do mean mutual) and respectful no matter how silly it gets, then it's no fun and not for me.

Then again, I seem to be alone in that opinion in this thread. This forum has proven over and over that it doesn't reflect what happens to/around me in real life. *shrug*

 

[Kasper]

Unfortunately for me I've never met any female ENTPs ( major )

This is most exceptionally unfortunate! I do fear however, that if you joined forces with an ENTP female, together, you would take over the world and unless I'm part of the world-taking-over duo I would have to object and defeat you both through vial and unethical techniques such as making you laugh in the middle of important and most sombre speeches! Maybe it's for the best =/

 

[Qre:us]

Nope. One of my best friends is an ENFJ, and out of all my friends, she seems most like my "soul mate".

She's tenacious in that she doesn't let up in arguing with me.

She gets irritated by me, when I insult the Fe. Trivialize that she cares so much about what people may think...purely to get a reaction from her......which she predictably gives......then realizes she took the bait. Then, she's off on a hunt to hurt me, which ends with her exasperated at me, yet, cannot help but laugh.

She picks up quite quickly when I'm trying to play with her by trying to get a rise out of her, as it's my more "childlike" Fe trying to manipulate her fully-grown one. So, she's quite forgiving, and finds it endearing, in a way (if not a bit exhausting sometimes).

However, we can both be very, very stubborn, but, she comes around faster than me, full of hot contempt. And, we duke it out, and, it's like everything is cleansed (negative energy). It's pretty cool.

From my end, I offer her Ti-perspectives on things, which she likes a lot. She likes how "simple" I make issues (break it down), without overanalysis of emotional stuff. The bare bones of things.

What I gain from it - she's pretty much the only person that I want to bounce-off of, in order for me to explore my emotions. I think it's the power of the Fe(backed up by Ni). Others who try to get emotions out of me, I find either irritating, irrelevant and thus flippantly dismiss it and them. Or, close down.

However, if I'm ever in turmoil about grasping (trying to) some feeling, she's the only one I can think of to unload on. All the confusion surrounding what I may or may not feel; with her, I can let my guard down, and know she'll guide me to find the answers for myself. She's a pretty secure safety net for exploring the nuances of my feelings, which I rarely do. So, when I need it/it happens, I'm thankful for that (and her).

And, Ne and Ni are constantly amazed and amused by each other, so, +.

In social situations, we hold court, and love playing off each other. It's a fabulous teamwork. Exchanging sly glances with each other, as we make inside jokes about things (& people being silly) in the social situation without needing to say a word to each other.

It's one of the most effortless relationships I've experienced.

 

[onemoretime]

Maybe it's different for men and women. I'll call out this one buddy of mine for when he's just getting completely over the top with the Fe-ishness (missing T, perhaps?), and he'll make a nice dig when I'm out in the ether somewhere. Neither of us get offended, though it seems like neither of us understand where the other person is coming from (though in a sense, we do, it's just that it doesn't seem as real or important to us).

So yeah, to others, it may not seem amicable, but in fact it is - we'll compliment each other's accomplishments, and when that person gets knocked down a peg, we'll build them back up (since we'd rather take shots at each other when we're at our best - that's the fun part!)

 

[sculpting]

there's something to this combo. I recently started working with the only real ENFJ I have known again. (Why dont you just give me a list of what you want done and I will just directly answer back, yes I can or no I cannot do that. Stop trying to make me feel like I am failing the group by not doing tasks when I am resourced at 400%then inviting me to meetings on the sly and issues subtle hints that I am now responsible for a task. Guilt? no I wont feel guilty.)

lalalalala....I really like domino though.

Anyways, this entp does have odd interactions with the few entps I have seen her with. It looks loud and slap happy on the surface, kinda like the three stooges. I dunno, just an observation.

 

[visaisahero]

I have a close ENFJ friend who I perhaps spend more time with than is healthy for two heterosexual males. We sit around till the wee hours talking about pretty much anything! We have conflicting motivations, perhaps, but we can both see where each other is coming from- almost every single time. More often than not we find fulfillment in the same things, taking different roads to get to the same destination and learning from each other's approach along the way.

If we were rivals or adversaries or something dramatic, perhaps then the OP's statement would apply perfectly.

 

[visaisahero]

Maybe it's different for men and women. I'll call out this one buddy of mine for when he's just getting completely over the top with the Fe-ishness (missing T, perhaps?), and he'll make a nice dig when I'm out in the ether somewhere. Neither of us get offended, though it seems like neither of us understand where the other person is coming from (though in a sense, we do, it's just that it doesn't seem as real or important to us).

So yeah, to others, it may not seem amicable, but in fact it is - we'll compliment each other's accomplishments, and when that person gets knocked down a peg, we'll build them back up (since we'd rather take shots at each other when we're at our best - that's the fun part!)

This!

 

[Cypocalypse]

One of my closest friends is an ENFJ girl.

I'm an ENTP with a strong desire to be sociable, and if there's an archetype that can provide me with the best leverage for that, it's ENFJ.

For one, she understands my N quirkiness (because she's quirky herself), but out of all the intuitives out there, her type is the best one that can act xSFx in public. It's really amazing. I wish I have that much flexibility.

Not to mention that she flirts really subtly and smart, so that's add a whiff of romanticism in the friendship.

This effortless innate charisma of hers makes her doubt if people (especially girls) are really honest towards her (she can easily makes girls, especially ESFx) jealous. She caters to a very broad range of social demographics but she doubts the sincerity of about a half of them.

Possibly, I'm among the few that she really trusts. That's because I told her that I know how her charisma works (yeah, Ti getting over analytical, as always), and yet I still end up liking her character (though no real plans of pursuing things further).

 

[Ace_]

ENTP-ENFJ relationships are like ENFP-ENTJ relationships, usually effortless if both people are sane. These relationships can be very fruitful and fulfilling.

ENTPs work even better with INFJs, just like ENFPs work even better with INTJs.

 

[Venom]

to the op: if i bother talking to somebody out of a benefit oriented relationship it means I respect them.

socionics actually categorizes ENTp/ENFj as a relation of benefit. The ENTp is the benefactor and the ENFj the beneficiary. The ENFj apparently sees the ENTp as needing help in some areas (probably making eccentricity something socially acceptable/advantageous!...or maybe its dealing with feelings?) and is more than willing to give it for nothing in return at first. Eventually (can be a long time though), either: the ENTp grows suspicious and weary (why is this person being so helpful etc?); or the ENFj grows resentful and weary (why am I doing this, when I get less in return?). The relationship can continue positively then only if the ENTp continues to provide something the ENFj "needs" and thus balances the asymmetric relationship. Presumably, it could be as simple as the ENTp providing an outlet from always having to be "on" or intuitive conversation.

Thats all just socionics speculation though. who knows . Do any of you ever feel your ENTP/ENFJ relation is a relation of asymmetry?

From my end, I offer her Ti-perspectives on things, which she likes a lot. She likes how "simple" I make issues (break it down), without overanalysis of emotional stuff. The bare bones of things.

See this Ti experience is what I'm missing. My truly electrically charged friendships with EPs often comes down to their ennea 7 being a positive influence on my ennea 1. I often narrow down their type to being either ENTP or ESFP (both informing, initiating, pragmatic). I always end up deciding that they are ESFP due to motive over structure. Its that lack of Ti that finally tips me off (rather than merely equating extrovertedly silly male-brained females with ENTP).

Would you ENTPs say that you ever share "your crazy systems" or logical thoughts with the ENFJ? What tends to be the only thing that keeps me from "really" getting along with ESFPs long term is this lack of systematizing. They are plenty zany, extroverted, care free, creative and fun...but they lack the NT flavor.

Point is...I'd like to experience this ENTPness...preferably a hot female one.

 

[Cypocalypse]

Purely on needs? No trace of romanticism whatsoever. *smirk*

 

[Esoteric Wench]

ENTP-ENFJ relationships are like ENFP-ENTJ relationships, usually effortless if both people are sane. These relationships can be very fruitful and fulfilling. ENTPs work even better with INFJs, just like ENFPs work even better with INTJs.

As an ENFP, I have noticed that I do get along effortlessly with my ENTJ friends. I find it strange that this match isn't discussed more often on this forum. <Insert pause while Esoteric Wench thinks fondly of her ENTJ friends.>

I wouldn't say that ENFPs get along better with INTJs than INFJs.... I feel like I get along with both equally well. But the experience is very, very different. INTJs help me self-correct becoming overly emotional. INFJs take me to emotional heights I've dreamed of reaching my entire life. I think that as I've gotten older, and been more able to tap into my T side, I've come to appreciate the ENFP-INFJ dynamic more than the ENFP-INTJ dynamic.

When I'm with an INFJ, I sort of take on the T role and find myself ENTP-like (except without the soulless manipulative bastard part. LOL!)