Caravel
New member
- Joined
- Jul 30, 2015
- Messages
- 12
I've been more interested in my Socionics/MBTI type for the past couple of years but I've finally resolved that. I dismissed Enneagram because none of the descriptions seemed to resonate with me or if they did, I would quickly find that one of the core fears or motivations did not work with me even if some of the behaviors or other core features did. I initially typed as 3w2 but then met a real one and realized I was not image-focused. I then typed as 1w9 for several years but I don't relate to repressing my anger or having a higher ideal as a driving force behind my actions. I've been playing with six but I don't attach myself to people or become loyal to them. I feel like some of the core motivations are things I just make up or half-ass to fill up space. I could stop being uncertain, pessimistic, etc. if I stopped being stupid. I don't put enough thought into being skeptical. Most of my skepticism is half-assed worrying and catastrophizing for stupid, toxic reasons. I related to the contrarian and testing part but then I realized it was because I was bored/for social reasons and that's the only way I could talk to some of my teachers was that way weirdly enough. I do think six is at least my head type. I don't know anything about my heart triad and I believe the third fix in a tritype is pretty useless and it's only the first two that matter. My core and gut types are up for grabs.
And since my typing journey intro has been introduced, without further ado, here is a questionnaire stolen from PerC I answered:
​
1. How would an author describe you in a book? Write the paragraph that would introduce you in a novel.
I would hope that the author wouldn't write an outright description of me but rather slowly describe me through my actions. Classic and almost cliche "show not tell" sentiment.
But that's not the intention of the prompt.
My voice naturally travels far and if there is a discussion going on I would participate in it. People describe me as loud. However I think I have a quiet presence in a broader sense. I prefer to spend most of my free time at home even if I am outgoing at work/school. I do not like going out with friends or engaging in social events. When people invite me to one-time social events or irregular events, I get slightly anxious because I prefer long time commitments/habitual meet-ups. I do not mind trying something I know is long term but there's a sense of meaningless that comes from random events. Doesn't feel focused and some times I do not know the rules and I know I won't learn the expectations because it's one time. I also prefer to be independent in my work and hobbies even if I will chat with my superiors for hours and happily sass them out. I don't think I make deeper connections with people around me or engage them on a deeper level. They are there for me to chat with and nothing more. I guess I am very assertive and engaged when it comes to my things only but outside of me I do not go deep. I struggle with relating characters and enneagram descriptions. I am introverted socially but don't act like it. I'm impersonally friendly.
Authors seem to be primarily interested in the relationships between characters if they are any good, no? I imagine that's how they would define my relationships with others.
Oh, the past year or so I think I've grown sassy because of boredom and as an attempt to be more social. Even if I don't connect with the person, at least I can try to be witty or insulting. I don't like it though because it feels like cheap communication. I should try to banter less and engage in more focused conversation. Which reminds me that I'm described as focused, organized, sweet, trollish, and energetic. I can have bouts of laziness but overall I tend to be on the more driven side where I get stuff done even if it is not expected of me.
2. Think over the past day or week and make a mental list (you can also write it here) of ways other people have annoyed, angered, or otherwise bothered you - any situation where people have done one thing, while you wished they would have done another. Look at each of these instances and answer (you can make a list or make note of general patterns - an example is good):
a. How would I characterize the trait that bothered me?
b. Why did it bother me
c. How did I react?
d. How do I wish I would have reacted?
e. If there was a discrepancy between c. and d., why did it come up?
-Generic, bland, optimistic speeches with too many assumptions you have the correct foundation in life already in place. I read The Opposite of Loneliness and the intro annoyed me. Overusing short sentences and repeating the same happy idea sounds like brainwashing to me. She literally described community and then said it wasn't community, because she wanted to create a transcendent feeling. People making assumptions. Someone said the writing was beautiful and was like #Goals. I thought to myself that if her writing was goals then she was going to write shallow and mediocre writing most of her life.
-Nihilism is beginning to annoy me because I engage in it too. It's kind of addictive, but kind of toxic. But repeating "I want to die" in my head all the time does not exactly fix anything. I understand if you are truly suicidal, you can't help it (I used to be depressed so I know cycling thoughts and thoughts just popping up) but I'm not. I should stop with a bad, pessimistic, and hopeless attitude when I am well enough to think otherwise. I shouldn't project my annoyances at myself onto others but I do and I get annoyed when people say "I want to die." I do get annoyed because it helps me reject nihilism and get it out of my system.
-Someone blew off this meaningful advice activity coming from professional writers and responded sarcastically to it. I felt like it was arrogant and lazy and unproductive. I kept silent about it because someone else was speaking and I suspected that it was a physiological reaction and not something I would habitually get angry over. This person was my friend and I understand she does not care for writing and that is her own initiative.
-Failing to do something when I ask them to because they disagree with my request or think it is a bad thing. When I ask about them later, they then tell me it is bad and quickly leave. It bothered me because their criticism was valid but they would rather leave me in the dark. I did not react at all.
Again, I have shallow and mostly impersonal interactions with the people around me so I don't think I engage with people enough to make a huge list. I stay off of most social media so I can't rant about stupid things people say. I don't hear what most people say.
3. What holds you back in life? This can be an internal or external force. If that thing were gone, what would be different? What would you do?
Lack of discipline and focus. If I focused more, I would be able to achieve more. And then I would feel more competent in my abilities or understand things more deeply. I've been messy and vague about my direction and if I was more specific with myself and actually followed through with my plans I would not be so fearful over my ability to acheive. Knowing I had the mindset and practice to overcome any challenge put in front of me would be nice. Also knowing the most effective way at improvement/growth would be nice. A system is better than keeping the goal half-way in your mind. I don't expect I will achieve great things but I think in order to have a satisfying life you need to be competent, be paid well, and have a flexible schedule that is under your control. Having the lifestyle I want where I can be independent, have a meaningful job that gets things done, and live in prosperity means needing to achieve right now and until I retire. I grew up in academia and I want to stay there because I enjoy working in lab but if I don't achieve, I won't be able to.
I also wish I could relate to things better. I use sass and humor to cover up my lack of concrete and personal interests. I am interested in things like work and school but you know... that isn't very personal. I should start reading again or watch shows but it's hard for me to stay with the story. I am jealous of people who connect with characters or descriptions because I read everything and it's just like "this part would make a good synthesis essay." I'm an emotional person and I am expressive but attaching feelings to things is hard.
Related to that I wish I would not be so dismissive and be more risk-taking. A lot of the things or friends I will meet will be a waste of time but I'm already wasting time by daydreaming (or not. I love daydreaming so much). But I might learn something occasionally. It'll teach me to learn how to handle failure. It'll also teach me about myself. I need to try things instead of speculating that I might like things. You can only reflect your personality so far before you just need to experience it.
4. Your deepest secret has just been revealed to the person or people from whom you most wished to keep it. How do you feel? How do you react? What are the results on your life?
I'd be angry and then I'd probably run away. I tend to drop things that make me uncomfortable or is messy. If I don't know how to handle my feelings I'll just ghost. Immature but I don't want to deal with people without it being on my own terms. I hate not being in control of the relationship which is why I befriend introverts because they usually depend on me to approach them and I get to dictate interactions because I'm the assertive one. People who can't read that I'm irritated and want to be left alone tend to make me panic because I'm giving all the signs I can give.
After everything blows over and I've come to terms with my feelings or at least they have disappeared, I tend to reconnect. The relationship will be different but that's not bad.
I should communicate better but sometimes I don't know what I'm experiencing so I don't think it's productive to express confusion and then be pressured for an explanation which will make me recoil more.
5. You are offered one of three gifts: a bottle filled with water from the Fountain of Life, a crown which will give you peaceful dominion over the world's people for your entire (full) lifetime, and a ring which will unite you with your true love and ensure a happy, passionate marriage. Which do you choose and why? What are your hesitations and motivations?
Crown. I don't want to live forever. Then again it might heal a loved one's illness. Still, peace and lack of violence would mean less deaths overall. I enjoy peace and I think we can productive without violent conflict. I imagine conflict will still exist to move society forward but it won't be hateful conflict. I don't care about my marriage at the moment.
Great things can flower from peace. Also I don't like the thought of myself in physical pain or anyone else for the matter. It sucks.
6. You are offered one of three houses. The first is located in a big city and has historic and artistic value: it was designed by a great architect and was owned by interesting people in the past. Owning this house is very prestigious and guarantees you social status and a circle of friends, but it also comes with responsibility - you must keep the house up to code, manage the household, and give parties and events. The second house you may design using your imagination - literally your dream house - it is located in a very secluded location and no one is allowed to visit this house except you and your immediate family. The third house is very nice, but has no particular aesthetic appeal - a McMansion in short. It is in an extremely convenient location and is very secure. It is impossible for thieves to break in and it has no danger of natural disasters. You are guaranteed to be able to sell the house for double the price in twenty years. Which do you choose and why? What are your hesitations and motivations?
Second house because nobody visits my house anyway. I don't mind being isolated and in fact would probably like it because it would be quiet and I could do my own thing without being embarrassed. I would not mind the walk back to wherever because I enjoy transportation time. It makes you feel productive because you are accomplishing a goal but you can let your mind wander.
First is no because too much work. I don't want to impress people and eventually it would feel cheap. It's the house that makes magic not me.
Third is okay. I like security and convenience. I don't see how this is different from the second house in terms of security though because if only your family can come into your house than thieves can't get into it either. I don't have enough experience with natural disasters to fear them.
7. You are offered one of three doors. The first opens to a world that is dangerous and demands mental or physical skill to navigate through, but also has great rewards to be gained: think of the worlds portrayed on the shows Game of Thrones or Supernatural. The second opens to a world that is full of wonders, magic, and knowledge, which can be learned or experienced, but there is little solid resting ground - think of the worlds portrayed in the shows Doctor Who or in the multi-media phenomenon A Hitchkiker's Guide to the Galaxy. The third opens to a world where you may experience a life of peaceful, uneventful poverty - think of the hobbits in the series Lord of the Rings or most of the animals living in Narnia. Which do you choose and why? What are your hesitations and motivations?
Not first. Health comes first because without health, I suck. I also lack the confidence to believe I would be a winner in the first world. I think I would be a loser.
Second definitely. Seems like a safe way to expand yourself and while I enjoy resting, I probably like it too much. It'll force me to improve and learn and experience. Hm. At the same time I would get irritated about the lack of reflection time or time to process crap.
Third is too much time to think and poverty sucks. Stagnation sucks.
8. What do you wish people understood about you? Talk about a time you were misunderstood.
I wish they realized a lot of my cranky moods come from my body, not me. Don't take it personally. People inflate the significance of an argument or irritation when it's probably due to me having an influx of hormones or my sugar levels crashing. I wish everyone realized this about everyone else.
9. What do you hope people won't notice about you? What are you uncomfortable being teased about?
I can't think of anything that isn't generic. I guess I wish they didn't notice what I did in my free time. It's probably lame and boring and eh. I don't want to feel attacked.
10. What's worse - to be seen as caring more than you do or less than you do? Why? Do you think you come across one way or the other? Do you typically pretend to care more or to care less?
More caring. More responsibilities and expectations. The latter is more of a pride issue.
I think I convey how much I care pretty well and I don't pretend I think.
11. Think about a time that someone else tried to control your actions - to tell you what to do, to manipulate you, or influence you. How did you feel and how did you react? What went through your mind?
I ran away. I rejected them. I tried to process what was going on and I also wanted to escape the situation and tell the person that is not okay through my actions. I return eventually. I think I mentioned this in the secrets question.
12. When you first meet someone, what are your first thoughts? What judgments do you make and what kinds of considerations do you have? Are you more concerned with what they think of you or what you think of them? If you are preparing to meet someone new, what do you hope about them and what do you fear about them?
I don't think. I experience and go with the flow. I am more concerned about what I think of them. I don't tend to have expectations.
13. Think about the last time you cried (if you've recently lost a loved one or gone through another similarly difficult experience, you can go back further and choose a random instance). What caused this? Who was around? Were you crying out of sadness, joy, frustration, or some other factor? How did you feel afterwards? Did it change anything? Is this typical for you?
I cried because I was daydreaming sad situations where random person experienced unfair things. Crying during daydreams is normal. I return to normal quickly.
14. Think about the last time you felt really happy, joyful, or satisfied. What caused this feeling? What was different? What keeps you from feeling this way all the time?
Eh. I was happy because someone complimented my program and said they were impressed because I was under the impression I sucked at coding. I don't feel this way all the time because that would be emotional death.
15. If you were a tragic hero, what would be your fatal flaw? If you were a character in a comedy, what would be your distinguishing trait (i.e. stingy with money, fastidious, shallow, pretentious, etc.) Do you think others would agree with these?
Complacent selfishness.
Combativeness. That's what people call me. I'm trying to tone it down though.
16. Think over the past day or week and make a mental list (you can also write it here) of ways that you have done badly - by yourself, by others, etc. - any time that you have done something, and wish you would have done better. How would you characterize these instances? What caused you to fail and what was your reaction? Are you more likely to be hard on yourself or to find excuses for yourself?
Meh. I didn't respond to people that I should have. I didn't study as I should have. I was rude when I shouldn't have.
I tend to blame both myself and others.
17. a. Imagine meeting an evil version of yourself - your 'dark side' - and describe this person.
Cruel, careless, and probably dead. I'd probably take out my evil on myself.
b. Describe your ideal self.
Someone with passions and diving into them and diving into them with skill. And the skill never plateaus. I am confident and caring. Go find an intro to any self help book.
18. What is your experience with and how do you deal with the following:
a. loneliness: This comes once in a blue moon. I start being friendly with people and then remember why I don't talk to them and stop being lonely. Or the feeling passes.
b. doubt: I talk about it a lot and research the thing I'm doubting a lot. I try to make a plan to combat my doubt. Expressing my doubts helps me receive closure and digest them more.
c. boredom: I troll with people or konk out and start daydreaming. I am rarely bored unless I'm sitting through a presentation.
d. laziness: ride it out.
e. temper: I express it without shame. I probably should have shame.
19. Which of the 'seven deadly sins' - pride, wrath, sloth, envy, lust, gluttony, avarice - do you relate to most and why? Which do you relate to least and why? Feel free to go into depth about these.
Wrath. The other ones aren't particularly relatable. I would chose pride second and then gluttony and then avarice and then sloth and finally lust.
I have a hot temper and I use it to get what I want. I'm unintentionally forceful too.
20. Link a song you relate to and explain why.
No. I do not relate to stories so I can hardly imagine relating to something as repetitive and as short as a song.
And since my typing journey intro has been introduced, without further ado, here is a questionnaire stolen from PerC I answered:
​
1. How would an author describe you in a book? Write the paragraph that would introduce you in a novel.
I would hope that the author wouldn't write an outright description of me but rather slowly describe me through my actions. Classic and almost cliche "show not tell" sentiment.
But that's not the intention of the prompt.
My voice naturally travels far and if there is a discussion going on I would participate in it. People describe me as loud. However I think I have a quiet presence in a broader sense. I prefer to spend most of my free time at home even if I am outgoing at work/school. I do not like going out with friends or engaging in social events. When people invite me to one-time social events or irregular events, I get slightly anxious because I prefer long time commitments/habitual meet-ups. I do not mind trying something I know is long term but there's a sense of meaningless that comes from random events. Doesn't feel focused and some times I do not know the rules and I know I won't learn the expectations because it's one time. I also prefer to be independent in my work and hobbies even if I will chat with my superiors for hours and happily sass them out. I don't think I make deeper connections with people around me or engage them on a deeper level. They are there for me to chat with and nothing more. I guess I am very assertive and engaged when it comes to my things only but outside of me I do not go deep. I struggle with relating characters and enneagram descriptions. I am introverted socially but don't act like it. I'm impersonally friendly.
Authors seem to be primarily interested in the relationships between characters if they are any good, no? I imagine that's how they would define my relationships with others.
Oh, the past year or so I think I've grown sassy because of boredom and as an attempt to be more social. Even if I don't connect with the person, at least I can try to be witty or insulting. I don't like it though because it feels like cheap communication. I should try to banter less and engage in more focused conversation. Which reminds me that I'm described as focused, organized, sweet, trollish, and energetic. I can have bouts of laziness but overall I tend to be on the more driven side where I get stuff done even if it is not expected of me.
2. Think over the past day or week and make a mental list (you can also write it here) of ways other people have annoyed, angered, or otherwise bothered you - any situation where people have done one thing, while you wished they would have done another. Look at each of these instances and answer (you can make a list or make note of general patterns - an example is good):
a. How would I characterize the trait that bothered me?
b. Why did it bother me
c. How did I react?
d. How do I wish I would have reacted?
e. If there was a discrepancy between c. and d., why did it come up?
-Generic, bland, optimistic speeches with too many assumptions you have the correct foundation in life already in place. I read The Opposite of Loneliness and the intro annoyed me. Overusing short sentences and repeating the same happy idea sounds like brainwashing to me. She literally described community and then said it wasn't community, because she wanted to create a transcendent feeling. People making assumptions. Someone said the writing was beautiful and was like #Goals. I thought to myself that if her writing was goals then she was going to write shallow and mediocre writing most of her life.
-Nihilism is beginning to annoy me because I engage in it too. It's kind of addictive, but kind of toxic. But repeating "I want to die" in my head all the time does not exactly fix anything. I understand if you are truly suicidal, you can't help it (I used to be depressed so I know cycling thoughts and thoughts just popping up) but I'm not. I should stop with a bad, pessimistic, and hopeless attitude when I am well enough to think otherwise. I shouldn't project my annoyances at myself onto others but I do and I get annoyed when people say "I want to die." I do get annoyed because it helps me reject nihilism and get it out of my system.
-Someone blew off this meaningful advice activity coming from professional writers and responded sarcastically to it. I felt like it was arrogant and lazy and unproductive. I kept silent about it because someone else was speaking and I suspected that it was a physiological reaction and not something I would habitually get angry over. This person was my friend and I understand she does not care for writing and that is her own initiative.
-Failing to do something when I ask them to because they disagree with my request or think it is a bad thing. When I ask about them later, they then tell me it is bad and quickly leave. It bothered me because their criticism was valid but they would rather leave me in the dark. I did not react at all.
Again, I have shallow and mostly impersonal interactions with the people around me so I don't think I engage with people enough to make a huge list. I stay off of most social media so I can't rant about stupid things people say. I don't hear what most people say.
3. What holds you back in life? This can be an internal or external force. If that thing were gone, what would be different? What would you do?
Lack of discipline and focus. If I focused more, I would be able to achieve more. And then I would feel more competent in my abilities or understand things more deeply. I've been messy and vague about my direction and if I was more specific with myself and actually followed through with my plans I would not be so fearful over my ability to acheive. Knowing I had the mindset and practice to overcome any challenge put in front of me would be nice. Also knowing the most effective way at improvement/growth would be nice. A system is better than keeping the goal half-way in your mind. I don't expect I will achieve great things but I think in order to have a satisfying life you need to be competent, be paid well, and have a flexible schedule that is under your control. Having the lifestyle I want where I can be independent, have a meaningful job that gets things done, and live in prosperity means needing to achieve right now and until I retire. I grew up in academia and I want to stay there because I enjoy working in lab but if I don't achieve, I won't be able to.
I also wish I could relate to things better. I use sass and humor to cover up my lack of concrete and personal interests. I am interested in things like work and school but you know... that isn't very personal. I should start reading again or watch shows but it's hard for me to stay with the story. I am jealous of people who connect with characters or descriptions because I read everything and it's just like "this part would make a good synthesis essay." I'm an emotional person and I am expressive but attaching feelings to things is hard.
Related to that I wish I would not be so dismissive and be more risk-taking. A lot of the things or friends I will meet will be a waste of time but I'm already wasting time by daydreaming (or not. I love daydreaming so much). But I might learn something occasionally. It'll teach me to learn how to handle failure. It'll also teach me about myself. I need to try things instead of speculating that I might like things. You can only reflect your personality so far before you just need to experience it.
4. Your deepest secret has just been revealed to the person or people from whom you most wished to keep it. How do you feel? How do you react? What are the results on your life?
I'd be angry and then I'd probably run away. I tend to drop things that make me uncomfortable or is messy. If I don't know how to handle my feelings I'll just ghost. Immature but I don't want to deal with people without it being on my own terms. I hate not being in control of the relationship which is why I befriend introverts because they usually depend on me to approach them and I get to dictate interactions because I'm the assertive one. People who can't read that I'm irritated and want to be left alone tend to make me panic because I'm giving all the signs I can give.
After everything blows over and I've come to terms with my feelings or at least they have disappeared, I tend to reconnect. The relationship will be different but that's not bad.
I should communicate better but sometimes I don't know what I'm experiencing so I don't think it's productive to express confusion and then be pressured for an explanation which will make me recoil more.
5. You are offered one of three gifts: a bottle filled with water from the Fountain of Life, a crown which will give you peaceful dominion over the world's people for your entire (full) lifetime, and a ring which will unite you with your true love and ensure a happy, passionate marriage. Which do you choose and why? What are your hesitations and motivations?
Crown. I don't want to live forever. Then again it might heal a loved one's illness. Still, peace and lack of violence would mean less deaths overall. I enjoy peace and I think we can productive without violent conflict. I imagine conflict will still exist to move society forward but it won't be hateful conflict. I don't care about my marriage at the moment.
Great things can flower from peace. Also I don't like the thought of myself in physical pain or anyone else for the matter. It sucks.
6. You are offered one of three houses. The first is located in a big city and has historic and artistic value: it was designed by a great architect and was owned by interesting people in the past. Owning this house is very prestigious and guarantees you social status and a circle of friends, but it also comes with responsibility - you must keep the house up to code, manage the household, and give parties and events. The second house you may design using your imagination - literally your dream house - it is located in a very secluded location and no one is allowed to visit this house except you and your immediate family. The third house is very nice, but has no particular aesthetic appeal - a McMansion in short. It is in an extremely convenient location and is very secure. It is impossible for thieves to break in and it has no danger of natural disasters. You are guaranteed to be able to sell the house for double the price in twenty years. Which do you choose and why? What are your hesitations and motivations?
Second house because nobody visits my house anyway. I don't mind being isolated and in fact would probably like it because it would be quiet and I could do my own thing without being embarrassed. I would not mind the walk back to wherever because I enjoy transportation time. It makes you feel productive because you are accomplishing a goal but you can let your mind wander.
First is no because too much work. I don't want to impress people and eventually it would feel cheap. It's the house that makes magic not me.
Third is okay. I like security and convenience. I don't see how this is different from the second house in terms of security though because if only your family can come into your house than thieves can't get into it either. I don't have enough experience with natural disasters to fear them.
7. You are offered one of three doors. The first opens to a world that is dangerous and demands mental or physical skill to navigate through, but also has great rewards to be gained: think of the worlds portrayed on the shows Game of Thrones or Supernatural. The second opens to a world that is full of wonders, magic, and knowledge, which can be learned or experienced, but there is little solid resting ground - think of the worlds portrayed in the shows Doctor Who or in the multi-media phenomenon A Hitchkiker's Guide to the Galaxy. The third opens to a world where you may experience a life of peaceful, uneventful poverty - think of the hobbits in the series Lord of the Rings or most of the animals living in Narnia. Which do you choose and why? What are your hesitations and motivations?
Not first. Health comes first because without health, I suck. I also lack the confidence to believe I would be a winner in the first world. I think I would be a loser.
Second definitely. Seems like a safe way to expand yourself and while I enjoy resting, I probably like it too much. It'll force me to improve and learn and experience. Hm. At the same time I would get irritated about the lack of reflection time or time to process crap.
Third is too much time to think and poverty sucks. Stagnation sucks.
8. What do you wish people understood about you? Talk about a time you were misunderstood.
I wish they realized a lot of my cranky moods come from my body, not me. Don't take it personally. People inflate the significance of an argument or irritation when it's probably due to me having an influx of hormones or my sugar levels crashing. I wish everyone realized this about everyone else.
9. What do you hope people won't notice about you? What are you uncomfortable being teased about?
I can't think of anything that isn't generic. I guess I wish they didn't notice what I did in my free time. It's probably lame and boring and eh. I don't want to feel attacked.
10. What's worse - to be seen as caring more than you do or less than you do? Why? Do you think you come across one way or the other? Do you typically pretend to care more or to care less?
More caring. More responsibilities and expectations. The latter is more of a pride issue.
I think I convey how much I care pretty well and I don't pretend I think.
11. Think about a time that someone else tried to control your actions - to tell you what to do, to manipulate you, or influence you. How did you feel and how did you react? What went through your mind?
I ran away. I rejected them. I tried to process what was going on and I also wanted to escape the situation and tell the person that is not okay through my actions. I return eventually. I think I mentioned this in the secrets question.
12. When you first meet someone, what are your first thoughts? What judgments do you make and what kinds of considerations do you have? Are you more concerned with what they think of you or what you think of them? If you are preparing to meet someone new, what do you hope about them and what do you fear about them?
I don't think. I experience and go with the flow. I am more concerned about what I think of them. I don't tend to have expectations.
13. Think about the last time you cried (if you've recently lost a loved one or gone through another similarly difficult experience, you can go back further and choose a random instance). What caused this? Who was around? Were you crying out of sadness, joy, frustration, or some other factor? How did you feel afterwards? Did it change anything? Is this typical for you?
I cried because I was daydreaming sad situations where random person experienced unfair things. Crying during daydreams is normal. I return to normal quickly.
14. Think about the last time you felt really happy, joyful, or satisfied. What caused this feeling? What was different? What keeps you from feeling this way all the time?
Eh. I was happy because someone complimented my program and said they were impressed because I was under the impression I sucked at coding. I don't feel this way all the time because that would be emotional death.
15. If you were a tragic hero, what would be your fatal flaw? If you were a character in a comedy, what would be your distinguishing trait (i.e. stingy with money, fastidious, shallow, pretentious, etc.) Do you think others would agree with these?
Complacent selfishness.
Combativeness. That's what people call me. I'm trying to tone it down though.
16. Think over the past day or week and make a mental list (you can also write it here) of ways that you have done badly - by yourself, by others, etc. - any time that you have done something, and wish you would have done better. How would you characterize these instances? What caused you to fail and what was your reaction? Are you more likely to be hard on yourself or to find excuses for yourself?
Meh. I didn't respond to people that I should have. I didn't study as I should have. I was rude when I shouldn't have.
I tend to blame both myself and others.
17. a. Imagine meeting an evil version of yourself - your 'dark side' - and describe this person.
Cruel, careless, and probably dead. I'd probably take out my evil on myself.
b. Describe your ideal self.
Someone with passions and diving into them and diving into them with skill. And the skill never plateaus. I am confident and caring. Go find an intro to any self help book.
18. What is your experience with and how do you deal with the following:
a. loneliness: This comes once in a blue moon. I start being friendly with people and then remember why I don't talk to them and stop being lonely. Or the feeling passes.
b. doubt: I talk about it a lot and research the thing I'm doubting a lot. I try to make a plan to combat my doubt. Expressing my doubts helps me receive closure and digest them more.
c. boredom: I troll with people or konk out and start daydreaming. I am rarely bored unless I'm sitting through a presentation.
d. laziness: ride it out.
e. temper: I express it without shame. I probably should have shame.
19. Which of the 'seven deadly sins' - pride, wrath, sloth, envy, lust, gluttony, avarice - do you relate to most and why? Which do you relate to least and why? Feel free to go into depth about these.
Wrath. The other ones aren't particularly relatable. I would chose pride second and then gluttony and then avarice and then sloth and finally lust.
I have a hot temper and I use it to get what I want. I'm unintentionally forceful too.
20. Link a song you relate to and explain why.
No. I do not relate to stories so I can hardly imagine relating to something as repetitive and as short as a song.
