VILLANELLE
New member
- Joined
- Aug 8, 2016
- Messages
- 731
- MBTI Type
- ESFP
- Enneagram
- 261
- Instinctual Variant
- so/sp
I've typed as 3w4, 4w3, and been told I'm a 9. But I really have no idea, I don't fully feel it and I feel like I'm all over the place. So, here I am, once again. I'm going to try and give as much detail as I can with these questions I've found. They aren't in order, I realize that, so I apologize.
1. Do you tend to save money and are cautious about spending it?
It's a mixed bag. I have a huge fear of being broke, but I can spend as easily as I drink water. I do try and buy just the things that I need, but even that can add up. Money does give me security, though.
2. Are you security oriented? Ready to protect yourself, those close to you and your resources?
If you mean by security oriented am I defensive, then yes. I'm naturally very defensive and nobody seems to understand that. I myself don't even understand why, I just always have been. If anyone says anything negative about my loved ones, I'm ready to protect them, too.
3. Are you fairly consistent? Like things known and regular? No big changes?
I do like to know what I might be doing on a day to day basis, that is if I have plans. But typically I don't do much and I just do whatever I want. But I do like routine, particularly if I have to be somewhere at a certain time, I'm a stickler for that. I realize it's not exactly the same thing.
4. Do you dislike taking big risks unless it's a "sure" thing?
I do, because I do fear the unknown, but it's also a confidence thing; I'm afraid I won't do something well. Or if I've failed, I'm very hesitant to try something again. But sometimes I just have to buckle down and get it done. If I'm sick of something enough, I'll move forward.
5. Are you fairly private? Not revealing too much to strangers?
On the contrary, I am all-revealing with people. But then I regret it and try and scale back. That being said I don't think I'm inappropriate, I just like talking with people; I'm a bit of an open book, I always have been.
6. Do you tend to be introverted?
I can be, I tend to enjoy conversation around me in group settings, but I love to meet new people. I used to be very drained after a lot of social interaction and going to parties. While I don't actively seek to go out all the time, I enjoy being around others, and I come away refreshed, not exhausted like I used to. I don't dread being out and about.
7. Do you understand money? Securities? Investments?
Not at all. But money gives me security.
8. Do you tend to plan for the future? Ready for emergencies?
Nope. I don't mean I fly by the seat of my pants, but I don't really think about it too much, even though I should.
9. Are you concerned about health? Safety? Comfort? Home? Hearth?
Health, comfort, home. I want to be healthy, I want to be comfortable in my own skin and with my dreams, and I want a place I can call home.
10. Are you worried about what may go wrong? Tend to imagine worse case scenarios?
All the time. I imagine loads of scenarios, about things I do or attend, or I imagine ordinary scenarios that go completely out of control; not necessarily a worst-case scenario. I have a lot of anxiety and I just always imagine the worst, negative things; failure..
11. Do you like things spelled out? Details? Exact information? Guarantees?
Very much so. I prefer face to face communication, I like details, I like it when people are open with me about things (and I'm open with them). I often text people "see you at (certain time)" to re-confirm plans and whatnot.
12. In relationships do you take care of others financially?
No. If I were in a relationship I feel like I would, but honestly I enjoy being taken care of.
How are you doing? Are there any major life events/illnesses/other issues that might be influencing you? Did you write this in one sitting, or have you pondered these issues deeply? Give us a sense of "where you're at" right now.
Not great. I'm trying to get my life on track, still. I never had any set goal in high school, I just wanted to get the fuck out of there. And then I did, but I had nothing to do, so I feel lost. I've developed bad anxiety and depression, possibly some other stuff, and I need to deal with that; none of my family will really support me, so I'm frustrated and hurt. I feel like my mental health is effecting my mbti/enneagram in a sense, I just feel different every day; mostly negative and depressed, but it just depends on how negative and anxious and depressed. I probably make no sense at all. I just feel like my mental state is affecting this. And I'm kind of obsessed with MBTI/Enneagram and it helping me find myself, which is stupid, but I'm grossly obsessed with it and I won't stop; particularly about the Enneagram stuff. MBTI, I'm fine with, I love being an ENFP and it makes sense to me.
(Note that some of these issues may be very personal, and if you'd prefer not to share, it's perfectly acceptable to skip questions.)
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0. What's making you unsure of your type? What research have you already done to determine type?
I just don't feel like any of the types I've been typed as. Which probably means I am those types, because that's what they say, is that if you don't feel like that type or are insulted, then you are that type.
1. Establish a "baseline mood"--when you're at home with nothing to do, where are you at mentally and emotionally? What do you notice in yourself? (Note, this is not a mood you inhabit "frequently", but your psychological baseline).
Can empty be a mood? I don't know. I guess when I'm at home, I'm chill. I'm calm. But it's home, I think everyone is like that. I don't really think very much when I am at home; I'm kind of empty-headed, I don't really think, I relax.
2. Describe yourself--
a. What's it like to be you?
I think it's kind of lonely, because I don't have many friends, still, and I spend a lot of my time online. I don't necessarily feel lonely, but I guess I long for something more.
b. What have others said about you?
Negative things about my appearance, etc. That I'm weird, I'm not funny. I've also been described as warm and caring and other positive things, but I have a hard time believing that.
c. What do you think of yourself?
I have a hard time believing anything positive about myself. I don't think I'd be a good mother (I don't even think I want kids), I think I'm selfish, I don't think I'm as caring as I say I am. I like it when the focus is on me, admittedly. I like it when people talk to me. I don't know what that says. As a teenager I tried hard to be different and weird, but I've really grown out of that phase, I've never known who I am. I always wanted to be different and stuff, but I now realize that I'm ordinary or "normal". And, honestly, I like that better. I'm re-discovering a lot of things and I like that.
3. What are the issues you've dealt with in life? List some recurrent themes, and tell us a little about each one.
I don't think I've ever dealt with anything serious, I don't know. I've always struggled with depression, way back as twelve, it just hit me. It concerned my family, but then nobody did anything to help me out. I've been told to kill myself (which... I should let that go because I'm still here, but it's so weird to remember that. It just hurts.) I developed anxiety at eighteen and that's just ruined my life ever since, I've had little to no interest in doing typical milestones, not unless I force myself, and even that's hard, but I really am trying.
4. You're not good at everything--
a. What personality traits and/or ways of being are impossible for you to adopt?
I feel like I don't have any drive, I don't have any confidence.. I don't know why. But those are impossible for me to develop, I can't even "fake it" like so many people suggest I do. You don't get it, at all. It's easier said than done, and I have tried, but I crack easily and yes, throw in the towel. I know nothing ever comes easy, but I just can't believe in myself, I never have been able to.
b. What are qualities you'd like to have, but can't seem to develop?
Kind of what I stated above, I wish I had confidence and drive to do what I want. I'm slowly getting there, but I'm upset with myself, I just feel like I'm lazier than everyone else. I'm definitely the turtle in the story of the turtle and the hare; slow and steady wins the race.
5. Why have you left friends and other relationships in the past and/or why have they left you?
I've grown apart from people trying to find myself, I've lost contact with people, and I've ended friendships because I feel like I've annoyed them. I've always really had shaky friendships, I've been abused by many of them, under the guise of friendship. I just can't stand being called names or not being seen as important to someone, after I've made them feel important to me. It's not fair.
6. Which types do you identify with most?
1, 2, 3, 6, 7, 9
a. How do you relate to these types?
1: systematic, scheduled, planned, prefers structure, disciplined, desires the predictability of routine and habit, responsible, does things by the book, meets obligations on time, uncomfortable with imperfection, hard working, serious, practical, plans ahead, focuses on achieving goals, cautious, more logical than abstract, plays it safe, success driven, achiever, not easily distracted, law abiding, detail oriented and sometimes obsessed, prefers the familiar to the unfamiliar, likes the security of working for a company
2: puts others first, generous, concerned about others, feels responsible for others feelings, will compassionately take on others needs as their own, sympathetic, finds helping others rewarding, pleasing others makes them happy, tries to please everyone, believes that others needs are as important (if not more so) than their own, passionate, would rather hurt self than others (masochistic), makes people feel welcome, has trouble saying no to people, has a good word for everyone, values the welfare of strangers, nice, warm, loves children, very family oriented, values humanitarian causes, honest, believes that others have good intentions, treats others as they want to be treated, accountable, interested in a career in social work, devoted to those they care about, accommodating, has a great need to improve the world, happy, never too busy to help a friend, deeply moved by the hardships of others, trusting, lives to create beautiful things, team player, dislikes disagreement, family-centric, wants to impress their parents, can't do without the company of others, reliant on assurances from others, has very strong emotions, loyal to the tradition/values they were raised with, honors promises to others, more likely to be religious, romantic, instinctive
3: strong need for and preoccupation with social status, winning is very important, image is important, finds popularity rewarding, needs to get their way, fame/prestige would make them happy, desires notoriety, cares about recognition, addicted to attention, would not be happy if they were poor, greatly values physical attractiveness, superficial, more external than internal, focuses more on being liked (being attractive) than what they like (what they find attractive), would rather fit in then be themself, values their own happiness and success over others, thinks they deserve a better life than others, has a big ego, self esteem is based on how attractive others think they are, sets high standards for self and others, likes expensive things, controlling, ostentatious (showy), likes to brag, seeks out positions of leadership, worries about what people think of them, competitive, divisive, puts a lot of effort into how they dress/look, would hate to be considered odd or strange
6: proceeds with care in most endeavors, favors sameness and consistency to suprises, does things by the book, feels that something bad will happen if they let their guard down, not reckless, prefers structure, thinks the world is a dangerous place, prefers the familiar to the unfamiliar, wants everything to add up perfectly, protective of their feelings, prone to paranoia, fears being harmed or controlled, suspicious of others until they have proven themselves trustworthy, worries about making the wrong choices, thinks of things in terms of costs and benefits, prioritizes personal safety, more contemplation than action, perfectionist, refiner, goal oriented, trouble shooter, prefers to stick with what they know, worries about consequences
7: does not worry about consequences, tends to do dangerous things without adequate precautions, always seeking new challenges, unpredictable, lives for pleasure, loves physical exertion, loves to test their strength, more desire than fear, loves night life and crowds, adrenaline junkie, impulsive, enjoys fighting, open to pretty much anything, believes that fun is the most important thing in life, loves to exercise, not opposed to breaking laws, prefers the unfamiliar to the familiar, prefers autonomy, likes to perform, ambitious, uninhibited, likes camping, erotic, likes to lead, most people think they are crazy, remains calm when others panic, cannot sit still, has an all or nothing personality, self promoting, risk taker, brave, likes to be different
I'm admittedly the opposite of a seven, but I desire to be a lot of these things? I know that really means nothing and I probably can't change my type.
I was going to add the type 9 but I'm literally the opposite of that, I'm a horribly nervous, anxious person.
b. How do you NOT relate to them?
I feel like I'm just finding things about myself in the types I feel like I can relate to.
7. Which types are least like you?
4, 5, 8, 9
a. Why specifically do you not relate to these types?
I admittedly have always grown up feeling like I was different. Or, I tried to be. I still do feel like I don't fit in, like a four... but that's not me anymore, I think. I feel more ordinary, I don't feel a need TO be different anymore. I'm not a 5 because I'm just.. not that much of a thinker. And I don't feel like an 8 because I don't lead.
b. What points (if any) DO you relate to?
I could be a 9 because I just want harmony or whatever in the world. I want harmony in my life, especially. I'd be a slacker 9, because a lot of the time I just don't do anything.
8. They claim enneagram type is a hidden love need. What are your attitudes toward finding love?
I want someone who will love me and only me.
9. What is the message your superego tells you?
I don't fucking know what that is.
Consider a time when you felt poorly about yourself--this means your ego (i.e. YOU) is receiving negative feedback from your superego. Write a conversation between the two of them--what is your superego telling you about how to be? (Note: this obviously is very personal and may be better done privately. Report your findings).
I do this all the time almost so this question is pointless to me. I have a lot of negative thoughts, all the time, and I don't really believe anything positive anyone says. I honestly never have and I just go along with whatver the other person is saying, and they often get annoyed because I'm not really listening, I'm just going through the conversation.
For the following, rank the issues in the order they apply and give a brief description of why and how you relate.
10. Determine your ego ideal--the way you strive to be and want others to perceive you. (Note, you may be consciously aware of failing at this, and you will be hard on yourself if you do. If someone else tells you you're NOT this way, it may make you feel hurt, violated, or angry.)
I don't know what this is and so I'm skipping this question, I'm really bored with this survey already. I have been told I'm warm and that I'd be a good mom if I chose to be, but I don't think I am either of those things; I see myself as selfish and narcissistic because secretly I always want the conversation to be on me at all times, but I realize that's sick and I know my attitude of not really listening to people (see question nine), doesn't get me anywhere. I also don't think I have any personality but I'v sometimes been told that I'm funny. I don't see it at all.
11. Determine your "felt sense" of life. To do this it may help to look at how you perceive events. Another way to do this is to look back at your childhood and think of all the things your parents did to you. How did you/do you feel about these events?
I don't understand this question at all but I have a felt sense where I feel I shouldn't be here, I shouldn't have been born. I feel like I am just floating through life, almost lost, like I have no purpose or career, I feel like I won't be successful in what I want to do (because so many people want to be entertainers, I'm not that original.)
12. Core fears. You may have been aware of these fears even as a very small child, before anyone did anything to influence it. You'd be mortified to be in this position or have others perceive you this way.
Being abandoned because my dad jokingly went out to the car in a parking lot and pretended he was going to leave me there, so almost any time I'm in a parking lot I have to get to the car first. Or, I did, anyways, I think this fear is going away. I don't know. I am afraid nobody will love me, I don't think I can give anything to anyone. Sometimes I don't feel love, I don't really feel like I actually want a relationship, I just want someone around me.
K I'm done I'm fucking bored and randomly annoyed, I wasn't as ~deep~ as I thought I was, I'm always more thoughtful away from the keyboard.
1. Do you tend to save money and are cautious about spending it?
It's a mixed bag. I have a huge fear of being broke, but I can spend as easily as I drink water. I do try and buy just the things that I need, but even that can add up. Money does give me security, though.
2. Are you security oriented? Ready to protect yourself, those close to you and your resources?
If you mean by security oriented am I defensive, then yes. I'm naturally very defensive and nobody seems to understand that. I myself don't even understand why, I just always have been. If anyone says anything negative about my loved ones, I'm ready to protect them, too.
3. Are you fairly consistent? Like things known and regular? No big changes?
I do like to know what I might be doing on a day to day basis, that is if I have plans. But typically I don't do much and I just do whatever I want. But I do like routine, particularly if I have to be somewhere at a certain time, I'm a stickler for that. I realize it's not exactly the same thing.
4. Do you dislike taking big risks unless it's a "sure" thing?
I do, because I do fear the unknown, but it's also a confidence thing; I'm afraid I won't do something well. Or if I've failed, I'm very hesitant to try something again. But sometimes I just have to buckle down and get it done. If I'm sick of something enough, I'll move forward.
5. Are you fairly private? Not revealing too much to strangers?
On the contrary, I am all-revealing with people. But then I regret it and try and scale back. That being said I don't think I'm inappropriate, I just like talking with people; I'm a bit of an open book, I always have been.
6. Do you tend to be introverted?
I can be, I tend to enjoy conversation around me in group settings, but I love to meet new people. I used to be very drained after a lot of social interaction and going to parties. While I don't actively seek to go out all the time, I enjoy being around others, and I come away refreshed, not exhausted like I used to. I don't dread being out and about.
7. Do you understand money? Securities? Investments?
Not at all. But money gives me security.
8. Do you tend to plan for the future? Ready for emergencies?
Nope. I don't mean I fly by the seat of my pants, but I don't really think about it too much, even though I should.
9. Are you concerned about health? Safety? Comfort? Home? Hearth?
Health, comfort, home. I want to be healthy, I want to be comfortable in my own skin and with my dreams, and I want a place I can call home.
10. Are you worried about what may go wrong? Tend to imagine worse case scenarios?
All the time. I imagine loads of scenarios, about things I do or attend, or I imagine ordinary scenarios that go completely out of control; not necessarily a worst-case scenario. I have a lot of anxiety and I just always imagine the worst, negative things; failure..
11. Do you like things spelled out? Details? Exact information? Guarantees?
Very much so. I prefer face to face communication, I like details, I like it when people are open with me about things (and I'm open with them). I often text people "see you at (certain time)" to re-confirm plans and whatnot.
12. In relationships do you take care of others financially?
No. If I were in a relationship I feel like I would, but honestly I enjoy being taken care of.
How are you doing? Are there any major life events/illnesses/other issues that might be influencing you? Did you write this in one sitting, or have you pondered these issues deeply? Give us a sense of "where you're at" right now.
Not great. I'm trying to get my life on track, still. I never had any set goal in high school, I just wanted to get the fuck out of there. And then I did, but I had nothing to do, so I feel lost. I've developed bad anxiety and depression, possibly some other stuff, and I need to deal with that; none of my family will really support me, so I'm frustrated and hurt. I feel like my mental health is effecting my mbti/enneagram in a sense, I just feel different every day; mostly negative and depressed, but it just depends on how negative and anxious and depressed. I probably make no sense at all. I just feel like my mental state is affecting this. And I'm kind of obsessed with MBTI/Enneagram and it helping me find myself, which is stupid, but I'm grossly obsessed with it and I won't stop; particularly about the Enneagram stuff. MBTI, I'm fine with, I love being an ENFP and it makes sense to me.
(Note that some of these issues may be very personal, and if you'd prefer not to share, it's perfectly acceptable to skip questions.)
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0. What's making you unsure of your type? What research have you already done to determine type?
I just don't feel like any of the types I've been typed as. Which probably means I am those types, because that's what they say, is that if you don't feel like that type or are insulted, then you are that type.
1. Establish a "baseline mood"--when you're at home with nothing to do, where are you at mentally and emotionally? What do you notice in yourself? (Note, this is not a mood you inhabit "frequently", but your psychological baseline).
Can empty be a mood? I don't know. I guess when I'm at home, I'm chill. I'm calm. But it's home, I think everyone is like that. I don't really think very much when I am at home; I'm kind of empty-headed, I don't really think, I relax.
2. Describe yourself--
a. What's it like to be you?
I think it's kind of lonely, because I don't have many friends, still, and I spend a lot of my time online. I don't necessarily feel lonely, but I guess I long for something more.
b. What have others said about you?
Negative things about my appearance, etc. That I'm weird, I'm not funny. I've also been described as warm and caring and other positive things, but I have a hard time believing that.
c. What do you think of yourself?
I have a hard time believing anything positive about myself. I don't think I'd be a good mother (I don't even think I want kids), I think I'm selfish, I don't think I'm as caring as I say I am. I like it when the focus is on me, admittedly. I like it when people talk to me. I don't know what that says. As a teenager I tried hard to be different and weird, but I've really grown out of that phase, I've never known who I am. I always wanted to be different and stuff, but I now realize that I'm ordinary or "normal". And, honestly, I like that better. I'm re-discovering a lot of things and I like that.
3. What are the issues you've dealt with in life? List some recurrent themes, and tell us a little about each one.
I don't think I've ever dealt with anything serious, I don't know. I've always struggled with depression, way back as twelve, it just hit me. It concerned my family, but then nobody did anything to help me out. I've been told to kill myself (which... I should let that go because I'm still here, but it's so weird to remember that. It just hurts.) I developed anxiety at eighteen and that's just ruined my life ever since, I've had little to no interest in doing typical milestones, not unless I force myself, and even that's hard, but I really am trying.
4. You're not good at everything--
a. What personality traits and/or ways of being are impossible for you to adopt?
I feel like I don't have any drive, I don't have any confidence.. I don't know why. But those are impossible for me to develop, I can't even "fake it" like so many people suggest I do. You don't get it, at all. It's easier said than done, and I have tried, but I crack easily and yes, throw in the towel. I know nothing ever comes easy, but I just can't believe in myself, I never have been able to.
b. What are qualities you'd like to have, but can't seem to develop?
Kind of what I stated above, I wish I had confidence and drive to do what I want. I'm slowly getting there, but I'm upset with myself, I just feel like I'm lazier than everyone else. I'm definitely the turtle in the story of the turtle and the hare; slow and steady wins the race.
5. Why have you left friends and other relationships in the past and/or why have they left you?
I've grown apart from people trying to find myself, I've lost contact with people, and I've ended friendships because I feel like I've annoyed them. I've always really had shaky friendships, I've been abused by many of them, under the guise of friendship. I just can't stand being called names or not being seen as important to someone, after I've made them feel important to me. It's not fair.
6. Which types do you identify with most?
1, 2, 3, 6, 7, 9
a. How do you relate to these types?
1: systematic, scheduled, planned, prefers structure, disciplined, desires the predictability of routine and habit, responsible, does things by the book, meets obligations on time, uncomfortable with imperfection, hard working, serious, practical, plans ahead, focuses on achieving goals, cautious, more logical than abstract, plays it safe, success driven, achiever, not easily distracted, law abiding, detail oriented and sometimes obsessed, prefers the familiar to the unfamiliar, likes the security of working for a company
2: puts others first, generous, concerned about others, feels responsible for others feelings, will compassionately take on others needs as their own, sympathetic, finds helping others rewarding, pleasing others makes them happy, tries to please everyone, believes that others needs are as important (if not more so) than their own, passionate, would rather hurt self than others (masochistic), makes people feel welcome, has trouble saying no to people, has a good word for everyone, values the welfare of strangers, nice, warm, loves children, very family oriented, values humanitarian causes, honest, believes that others have good intentions, treats others as they want to be treated, accountable, interested in a career in social work, devoted to those they care about, accommodating, has a great need to improve the world, happy, never too busy to help a friend, deeply moved by the hardships of others, trusting, lives to create beautiful things, team player, dislikes disagreement, family-centric, wants to impress their parents, can't do without the company of others, reliant on assurances from others, has very strong emotions, loyal to the tradition/values they were raised with, honors promises to others, more likely to be religious, romantic, instinctive
3: strong need for and preoccupation with social status, winning is very important, image is important, finds popularity rewarding, needs to get their way, fame/prestige would make them happy, desires notoriety, cares about recognition, addicted to attention, would not be happy if they were poor, greatly values physical attractiveness, superficial, more external than internal, focuses more on being liked (being attractive) than what they like (what they find attractive), would rather fit in then be themself, values their own happiness and success over others, thinks they deserve a better life than others, has a big ego, self esteem is based on how attractive others think they are, sets high standards for self and others, likes expensive things, controlling, ostentatious (showy), likes to brag, seeks out positions of leadership, worries about what people think of them, competitive, divisive, puts a lot of effort into how they dress/look, would hate to be considered odd or strange
6: proceeds with care in most endeavors, favors sameness and consistency to suprises, does things by the book, feels that something bad will happen if they let their guard down, not reckless, prefers structure, thinks the world is a dangerous place, prefers the familiar to the unfamiliar, wants everything to add up perfectly, protective of their feelings, prone to paranoia, fears being harmed or controlled, suspicious of others until they have proven themselves trustworthy, worries about making the wrong choices, thinks of things in terms of costs and benefits, prioritizes personal safety, more contemplation than action, perfectionist, refiner, goal oriented, trouble shooter, prefers to stick with what they know, worries about consequences
7: does not worry about consequences, tends to do dangerous things without adequate precautions, always seeking new challenges, unpredictable, lives for pleasure, loves physical exertion, loves to test their strength, more desire than fear, loves night life and crowds, adrenaline junkie, impulsive, enjoys fighting, open to pretty much anything, believes that fun is the most important thing in life, loves to exercise, not opposed to breaking laws, prefers the unfamiliar to the familiar, prefers autonomy, likes to perform, ambitious, uninhibited, likes camping, erotic, likes to lead, most people think they are crazy, remains calm when others panic, cannot sit still, has an all or nothing personality, self promoting, risk taker, brave, likes to be different
I'm admittedly the opposite of a seven, but I desire to be a lot of these things? I know that really means nothing and I probably can't change my type.
I was going to add the type 9 but I'm literally the opposite of that, I'm a horribly nervous, anxious person.
b. How do you NOT relate to them?
I feel like I'm just finding things about myself in the types I feel like I can relate to.
7. Which types are least like you?
4, 5, 8, 9
a. Why specifically do you not relate to these types?
I admittedly have always grown up feeling like I was different. Or, I tried to be. I still do feel like I don't fit in, like a four... but that's not me anymore, I think. I feel more ordinary, I don't feel a need TO be different anymore. I'm not a 5 because I'm just.. not that much of a thinker. And I don't feel like an 8 because I don't lead.
b. What points (if any) DO you relate to?
I could be a 9 because I just want harmony or whatever in the world. I want harmony in my life, especially. I'd be a slacker 9, because a lot of the time I just don't do anything.
8. They claim enneagram type is a hidden love need. What are your attitudes toward finding love?
I want someone who will love me and only me.
9. What is the message your superego tells you?
I don't fucking know what that is.
Consider a time when you felt poorly about yourself--this means your ego (i.e. YOU) is receiving negative feedback from your superego. Write a conversation between the two of them--what is your superego telling you about how to be? (Note: this obviously is very personal and may be better done privately. Report your findings).
I do this all the time almost so this question is pointless to me. I have a lot of negative thoughts, all the time, and I don't really believe anything positive anyone says. I honestly never have and I just go along with whatver the other person is saying, and they often get annoyed because I'm not really listening, I'm just going through the conversation.
For the following, rank the issues in the order they apply and give a brief description of why and how you relate.
10. Determine your ego ideal--the way you strive to be and want others to perceive you. (Note, you may be consciously aware of failing at this, and you will be hard on yourself if you do. If someone else tells you you're NOT this way, it may make you feel hurt, violated, or angry.)
I don't know what this is and so I'm skipping this question, I'm really bored with this survey already. I have been told I'm warm and that I'd be a good mom if I chose to be, but I don't think I am either of those things; I see myself as selfish and narcissistic because secretly I always want the conversation to be on me at all times, but I realize that's sick and I know my attitude of not really listening to people (see question nine), doesn't get me anywhere. I also don't think I have any personality but I'v sometimes been told that I'm funny. I don't see it at all.
11. Determine your "felt sense" of life. To do this it may help to look at how you perceive events. Another way to do this is to look back at your childhood and think of all the things your parents did to you. How did you/do you feel about these events?
I don't understand this question at all but I have a felt sense where I feel I shouldn't be here, I shouldn't have been born. I feel like I am just floating through life, almost lost, like I have no purpose or career, I feel like I won't be successful in what I want to do (because so many people want to be entertainers, I'm not that original.)
12. Core fears. You may have been aware of these fears even as a very small child, before anyone did anything to influence it. You'd be mortified to be in this position or have others perceive you this way.
Being abandoned because my dad jokingly went out to the car in a parking lot and pretended he was going to leave me there, so almost any time I'm in a parking lot I have to get to the car first. Or, I did, anyways, I think this fear is going away. I don't know. I am afraid nobody will love me, I don't think I can give anything to anyone. Sometimes I don't feel love, I don't really feel like I actually want a relationship, I just want someone around me.
K I'm done I'm fucking bored and randomly annoyed, I wasn't as ~deep~ as I thought I was, I'm always more thoughtful away from the keyboard.
I was sweating trying to describe 6 (though it could be in your tritype).
