[INFP] INFP/INFJ authenticity and disliking conflict

[phoenix31]

I am very avoidant of conflict. I hate it. I enjoy a good friendly argument or debate, but when it comes to interpersonal conflict, I'm terrible. I never want people to be disappointed in me. I never want to have to tell them I'm disappointed in them. I don't want anybody to be uncomfortable, ever. I will bend my life and my own authenticity to the will of another person many times in order to keep the peace. (I'm working on that.)

It seems like I usually hear that INFPs value authenticity above all else and INFJs want to promote harmony above all else.

So are the traits I described above more like an INFJ? Also, do you think that they're something that could have just been conditioned in me from the situation I grew up in? Because I'm pretty confident in my INFPness.

 

[Z Buck McFate]

That first paragraph sounds enneagram 9ish.

As for the authenticity/harmony dichotomy, I personally think it's wildly exaggerated in type discussion. In large part because it's often based on Fi/Fe differences rather than Ni/Fi differences. Ni brand authenticity is absolutely a priority for INFJs (eg consistency establishes authenticity to Ni, on a conscious and unconscious level - INFJs get a 'gut feeling' about authenticity on the unconscious level), but the value of it is (relatively) inconceivable to Fi priorities. Conversely, honesty about the immediate moment seems to hold priority to the Fi-preferenced, while importance about the immediate moment to Ni pales if there's nothing to give it context; it's important, but it's merely one puzzle piece of the bigger picture.

But back to e9, it is the unconscious imperative to maintain connection at almost any cost; losing aspects of 'self' to maintain connection. (I actually only just noticed you already identify as 9). I imagine both INFP and INFJ are equally susceptible.

 

[Forever]

Fi can bend and break for others to make sure they are okay and not make sure they're the problem. They don't want to be the problem. Fi dom users can white lie to death.

It can confuse people who have Fi to think they're perfectly honest. It's not exactly true. Fi users know what they want and through experience gain better self-knowledge and live according to that acquired value set.

Fe users are more concerned going out of their way bringing a controlled emotion through. Fe is a Je function. They keep up on what's going on with everyone. They make decisions what's going on according to the needs of the group. Je users both Fe and Te will seem more stubborn and unbreakable when speaking.

Ni users can be really indecisive (like me), but they definitely do have opinions about even small things. Because of the poor filter that Ni exhibits, they are more compulsive to be honest with others. Ni wants their fantasy to be projected into reality, taking ideas much more seriously.

So you sound like an INFP to me.

 

[Population: 1]

I’ll leave the MBTI and enneagram angle to those with more experience, which is just about everyone. lol

Considering your background, what you’ve endured, the environment you have spent the majority of your life in, you cannot on top of MBTI and enneagram types discount conditioning as a major factor in your tendency to be compliant and put a group mentality first.